Bom Chicka Wah Wah: Sex Scenes

Yeah, I'm going there.  Two of the classes I attended over the weekend were on writing sex scenes--one by author Jenni Holbrook and the other by author Shayla Black.

As most of you have figured out, I write and read sexy romance (and now am writing an erotic romance), so love scenes are an integral part of my stories.  Now, I know many of you may cringe at the idea of writing sex on the page and think this isn't for you.   But even if you're writing clean cut YA, you should know what the components are because a simple kiss IS a love scene if done correctly.

First, let's get the main rule out of the way:

DO NOT put in a love scene unless it changes the character(s) and moves things (usually internal conflict) forward.  Just like any other scene, it must serve a purpose.

Okay, now let's identify the types of love scenes (care of Jenni Holbrook):

1. Closed Door/Fade to Black
--This is where the sex is implied, but not shown.
Use this:
--When the change in the characters does not happen during the actual act.
--Think of old movies where they kiss and then the camera pans to bedroom curtains fluttering in the breeze.

2. Glossed Over Sex
--This is where a little more is shown--maybe a little touching and buildup, but then that door slams shut.
Use this:
--When the change in the character happens during the intimate moments leading up to the actual bom-chick-wah-wah.
--Ex.) Dirty Dancing (one of the hottest scenes EVAH), when Baby and Johnny dance in his room.  (YouTube won't let me embed the video, but here's the link, if you'd like your daily swoon.) They take off shirts and touch and kiss while dancing, but that is where the change happens--when she says "dance with me" and he accepts the invitation.  Then we see them in bed, kissing, and the scene fades.

3. Full Sex Scene
--This is what you'll see in many mainstream romances and other genre fiction.  The sex happens on the page, door open.
Use this:
--When the change in the characters or revelations about the characters happen during the actual sex.
--Ex.) The Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood books.

4.  Explicit Sex Scene
--This is most often used in erotic romance and erotica.  A full sex scene, like above, but everything is described and the language used is no holds barred.  (Yes, you know what words I'm talking about.)
--FYI: the difference between erotic romance and erotica is that e. romance has a primary relationship and there is a happily ever after.  Erotica is more about sexual exploration, doesn't necessarily need to be relationship based, and doesn't require HEA.
Use this:
--Just like a full sex scene, the character change happens during the act.
--If you are using kinky sex acts
--This is not for the faint of heart.  Make sure you read lots of erotic romance to get a feel for exactly what explicit means, lol.

So, how do you decide which level to write at?

1.  Comfort level has to be there.
--If the idea of writing a sex scene makes you squeamish or if you are one of those people who (*gasp*) skips past the love scenes in books, you're probably going to want to fade to black or gloss over.
--The reader will be able to tell if you were uncomfortable about writing it.
--If you think you want to write sex, then make sure you read widely in your particular genre to get a feel for what works and where those lines are.

2.  What does your character/story need?
--According to Shayla Black, if you can pluck out a sex scene and it won't change your character's arc or transformation, then you probably didn't need the scene in the first place.  Do not put it there just to have one (see main rule above).

3.  Know your audience
--You have to know what you are writing and who you are writing for.
--If you put a full sex scene in an inspirational romance, your readers would be appalled.  If you're writing erotic romance and you fade to black, your readers will want to string you up by your toes and beat you with your book.  :)
--And if you're writing YA, you have even more of a challenge.  Figure out if you're writing edgy or traditional and how far your want to push.

Alright, so I hope this helps.  Writing love scenes is one of the most challenging things to get right, in my opinion.  If you want to know more, I also have posts on sexual tension and writing sex scenes you can check out.

So, where do you fall on the levels in your story?  And are you a person who loves to peek past that door or do you skip those scenes?  (For the record, I'm fascinated by you scene skippers.  How do you do that and why? lol)
 
 
 
 
 

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"These Arms of Mine" - Otis Redding

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Face Off Friday: YA Lit and Sex

As most of you know, young adult books are all the rage right now. Many are calling it a YA renaissance. I know that many of you who read this blog both write (and read) YA, as I do. So hopefully this is a relevant topic for you guys.

When I was writing my YA, I had the constant worry about where to draw the line on the controversial things, particularly sex and cursing. In my teen years, YA lit was very different. Most of the books were pretty clean. There were the exceptions that many of the libraries banned (Judy Blume's Forever and the book Go Ask Alice come to mind), but for the most part books were "wholesome". So, in theory, when reading YA we were protected from the "adult" things. Right?

Well, this theory didn't hold true for me because by fourteen, I was bored with YA and had moved on to adult novels. As I mentioned in a previous post, I started V.C. Andrews' Flowers in the Attic series my freshman year of high school. Looking back, these books would probably be considered YA now. The protagonist was a teen. However, the books had sex, so at that time, they were marketed as adult fiction. And as for cursing, well I had a thing for Stephen King books in high school too, so...

In today's YA market, the books run the gamut--from the squeaky clean to the shocking. So when writing, I had to make the decision of where I would fall on this issue. People on each side of this debate feel very strongly about their opinions. I'll give you the argument, then I'll tell you what I ultimately decided worked for me.

Wholesome vs. Edgy

For love of the wholesome:

• Books with cursing, sex, and drugs normalize these behaviors and encourage teens to participate in them
• These books are pornographic and are selling sex to kids
• They teach teens (girls especially) that their worth is tied into their ability to please a boy
• The situations in these books expose children to adult situations that they aren't prepared to handle or interpret correctly

In defense of edgy:

• These books, although it is unfortunate, reflect reality: many teens are in fact having sex, some are exposed to drugs, and the majority are cursing.
• Teens are programmed to think about sex so we're not giving them any ideas with the books
• There is safety in fantasy. Perhaps teens can explore the topic through a book instead of in real life. For instance, in Forever, the sex is there but so are the emotional consequences that can happen in a sexual relationship.
• Most YA authors, although I'm sure there are exceptions, do not put sex in for gratuitous purposes, but for plot purposes.
• Has anyone watched TV lately or seen a movie or listened to the radio? Teens see a lot more sex outside of books than they see inside them.
• Teens can connect with a character who is struggling with the difficult issues and not feel as alone.
• Teen readers won't believe you if all your characters are squeaky clean
• If it's kept out of YA, the kids (like me) will just move to adult books, which may paint sex in a much more gratuitous and tempting light (sans consequences).

Both arguments have good points. So what did I do? I ended up trusting my characters. If in real life, I felt the character would curse, then I let him (where it would have the most impact.) I also put in some sexual situations and dialogue, but nothing beyond making out actually happens.

Why? Because of plot reasons. If I had felt my character was ready to have sex, then I probably would have let her. But the story didn't lead me that way. So I guess I fall on the liberal side in this debate. Perhaps I'm jaded from working with troubled teens in my past. They always trusted me more in therapy when I didn't balk at or preach about the things they were experiencing. I just let them talk through their feelings and offered some insight to try to lead them in a better direction.

So where do you fall in the debate? How did you make the decisions in your own YA? If you're a parent of a teen, how do you feel about what your child reads?

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"Don't Tell Me" - Avril Lavigne

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