The Hubs Speaks: What It's Like Being Married to an Erotic Romance Author


Hubs is singing to me, not yelling, for the record. :)


When people find out I'm an erotic romance author, I often get the the same few questions. One, of course, is the giggling "do you do your own research?" question. The second is typically what does your husband (or family) think? 

Well, I can tell you my family is very supportive of me and my writing (even though I have forbade the male members of my family to read my book when it comes out.) But anyway, I figured instead of doing a post about what my husband thinks, I'd let him have him own blog post today.

So I gave him a few questions to tackle and let him have at it. 

Take it away, babe...


What’s it like being married to an erotic romance writer?  What’s the best thing? What’s the worst?

It rocks!!!  There are lots of benefits for me as your husband.  Hard to list THE BEST THING so here are a few.  

-Creating your stories, while always bound to a deadline and a lot of work, is fun.  Fun jobs make fun people.  

-Our “how was your day” conversations have to be cooler than most couples, right?  “My day was ok.  I researched insert sexually explicit subject for a scene I’m working on.  Did you know…..”

-Having your wife reside in an erotically charged creative zone constantly has good benefits ;-)

-The very best thing for me?  Your dreams are coming true.  All the rest is icing.

The Worst???

Deadlines and social media can be consuming.  Sometimes I have to remind you the computer has an off switch.  However, you do a great job balancing your life between family and your career.


How do you feel about your trampy wife’s Boyfriends of the Week and naughty Tumblr pics?

Is this a loaded question?  Here goes…


The average Tuesday used to be pretty predictable for me.  B.O.W. has totally changed that.  Now, Tuesday is one of my most anticipated days, every week.  Who is my lovely wife publicly lusting over this week?  So many options, it’s always such a guessing game.  Once I open the page I am usually dazed for a moment.  Then the natural guy reflex kicks in and I begin to ridicule the boyfriends in some way.  A couple of examples:

“That Eduardo guy must have really liked the movie Zoolander because all I’m getting here is Blue Steel”


“I wonder if Jared Leto needs a booster seat at his dining room table to prevent making a mess when he eats a meal?”

Nikki Sixx is awesome and would totally kick the sh** out of all these other wannabe’s (I could have a boy crush on him but would never admit it). :)

In all seriousness, even though I may torment you a bit about this subject, I know it’s harmless.  You have a different list you keep and I’m the only one on it.  You girls are pretty funny with your crushes though, just saying.



I’m proud that you feel comfortable to share images that inspire your creativity and art.  Most of the black and whites of couples are worthy of being framed and hung in (cool people’s) bedrooms.  They are beautiful.  Good job.


Do you read her work? Is that a hard thing to do? What did you think the first time you read one of her romances?

Yes, I do read her work.  To be honest, I thought I was going to need therapy just to crack the first one open.  It is a HUGE leap of faith, regardless how secure you are inside of your relationship, to read your spouse’s work in this genre.  It’s impossible not to link your own relationship characteristics (physical and emotional) to the characters in every way.  

I remember thinking midway through Wanderlust (my first) I needed to take a year off of work to hit the gym, learn to sing, learn to play electric guitar, and get some tattoos.  Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration.  I could have pulled that off in a couple of weeks.  Seriously though, it was a good lesson for me to separate the fantasy away from my own reality and enjoy the book for the awesomeness that it was.  By the midpoint of the book I couldn’t read it fast enough.  It was absolutely fascinating that I was married to the person who created it.  Then, a few months later, I got to read Crash Into You which was much more, uh, well, just much more.  I was over it.  I ate the book like junk food.  How awesome to read through a chapter or two and then go out and have the author walk you through the thought process to generate it?  Or give her a high five for a great plot twist?  So cool.  


What would you recommend to other spouses if their significant other is entering into this business?

 Don’t set any expectations about anything and keep a very open mind.


If this were your blog, who would be your first Girlfriend of the Week?

Ok, so here’s the part that could get me in trouble maybe.   My honest answer is…..You.  I’m kinda crazy for you.


However, if I had to post someone else?  Let’s see.

I have to scratch Carrie Underwood off the top of the list.  Besides being blonde she recently recorded a Motley Crue song which sent her to hyper-awesome status.  Unfortunately she’s been given the Hollywood treatment, lost too much weight, and works out so much, I think she could kick my ass.  Sorry Carrie.

(*What hubs really said was a guy could get his skull crushed between those thighs, lol.*)




So I’ll go with another American Idol alumni.  Katharine McPhee.  Now, it has to be early Katharine McPhee.  Natural looking and kind of all american.  Blonde Katharine McPhee who became a real diva is not invited to join.  I love blondes, but it doesn't apply in this case.  





So there you have it. My husband is the real rockstar in my life and no hero in any of my books or boyfriend of the week could ever come close to being as awesome (and lick-able) as he is. I'm a lucky girl.


Feel free to throw out any questions to the hubs. He'll be stopping by to respond to comments if needed. And how does your significant other or family feel about your writing? Would your guy put up with my boyfriends of the week? What's the most embarrassing or inappropriate question anyone's ever asked you about your writing?