Figuring Out Where Your Pacing Went Wrong

Photo by Jason Ilagan (cc)Last week I received the edits back on my third book, FALL INTO YOU, from my editor. Those emails are always a little scary to open. You pretty much say the "please don't hate it, please don't hate it" prayer a few times before you click.

And so far, I've been pretty lucky. My edits for the previous books have been relatively minor (though CRASH went through a pretty major edit with my dear agent before we sold it.) But this time I had a feeling it was going to be bigger stuff. Mainly because this is the book I struggled with at the beginning of the year (and was late on deadline with.) I *knew* something wasn't quite right but I was too deep in it to be able to see what that something was. And that's why we thank the writing gods for a fabulous editor.

So what did my lovely editor have to say? Basically--I love this story. It's fabulous...after I get through the first third. The first part is slow and you need to figure out how to get to this, this, and that faster. Get rid of stuff.

There were some other things--making my heroine more sympathetic, building more chemistry early on, etc. But the major issue seemed to be PACING.

And pacing is one of those things that can be really overwhelming to look at because it's such a big picture thing--the pacing of an entire story arc. Most of my problem is that I keep insisting on putting in suspense subplots, which trips me up because I have to plant information and set up things for that AND the romance, which can bog down a beginning.

So when I got these edits, I had a week to fix everything, rewrite a good portion of the beginning, and get my pacing in check. After eating some chocolate and a few deep breaths, I sat down to tackle the issues. How was i going to figure out where the pacing had gone awry?

Well, as most of you know if you follow this blog, I'm a Save the Cat fan when it comes to story structure. I find screenplay structures make sense to me. So I took out my Save the Cat Beat sheet and looked at the turning points. The nice thing about the Beat Sheet is it gives you page numbers for where this turning point should happen in a 110-pg. screenplay. (To apply these numbers to a novel, either multiply by 3 since most novels are around 300-350 pages or just use them as percentages.)

When I did this, it was so much more clear on where I had flubbed up. My set-up was on track (roughly first 10%), and my Catalyst/Call To Action was in the right spot, but then my Debate section (where the character has to decide whether to DO something about that call to action) was way too long. My Break Into Act Two (where the character enters the new world) was pushed back way too late because of it. Act 2 was where my editor started liking the book.

So I cut out an entire chapter and rewrote most of two more, getting my break into two back in the right spot. Seeing it on paper with that simple structure made it so much easier to see (though it doesn't necessarily make fixing it any easier, lol.) I turned in the revisions this week and hopefully what I changed works out.

But if you find yourself struggling with pacing or have this vague feeling that something just isn't quite working, it may benefit you to take out your favorite story structure and lay it over your novel like a blueprint to see if things are happening where they are supposed to be.

And if you've never looked at an overarching structure like that, here are some of my favorite books about structure:

 

1.Save The Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need by Blake Snyder

(are you tired of hearing about my love for this book yet?)

 

2. Writing Love: Screenwriting Tricks for Authors II by Alexandra Sokoloff

(Alexandra gives a more detailed structure that can be super helpful if you're not sure what should go in between some of those beats from Save the Cat.)

 

3. Writing Screenplays That Sell, New Twentieth Anniversary Edition: The Complete Guide to Turning Story Concepts into Movie and Television Deals by Michael Hauge

(I don't actually have this book, but I attended his workshop and that's where I first discovered the screenwriting techniques for novels. I still use my notes from that workshop with every book.)

 

4. Plot & Structure: (Techniques And Exercises For Crafting A Plot That Grips Readers From Start To Finish) by James Scott Bell

(My one structure book that is not screenwriting based. :) You can't go wrong with James Scott Bell.)

 

So have you ever had issues with pacing? Do you use any kind of formal story structure when writing or revising your novels? What are some of your favorite craft books on structure?

MELT INTO YOU is out today! Her first love has returned & he's brought a friend...

I'm not sure there's anything more exciting for a writer than a book birthday and today is MELT INTO YOU's. Yay! 

I loved writing this book and it features my favorite heroes (yes, there are two) in this series so far. I also took a few risks in this story that I wasn't sure I'd get away with, but I did. ;)  I hope y'all will check it out!

Read! Enjoy! Review! :) (Yes, I'm shameless.)

Here's what a few early reviewers are saying:

"A book has to be really special to keep me up all night, and this book my friends is it." - Danielle of Ramblings From This Chick

"With a tangle of complex relationships, some of the sexiest fictional men out there, one of the stronger female leads in the genre and a whole lot of steam and heart, Melt into You by Roni Loren will push every button you got and have you begging for more." - Allie Sanders, Goodreads review 

"I can’t say enough about this book. It really gave me everything that I want in a romance. It’s edgy, entertaining, emotional, and romantic. It’s just beautifully written. The sex scenes are sizzling hot. The plot line is like a roller coaster ride. It’s full of ups and downs and moments where you can’t take anymore and your tummy is in knots, but when you hit the last page, you say “let’s ride it again”. That is exactly what you get with this book." - Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

 

Her first love has returned, and he's brought a friend...

After running away from home and the boy who broke her heart, Evan Kennedy has kick-started the perfect new life with her celebrity fiancé. So what if said fiancé prefers guys? She knew the deal. And with her ticket to The Ranch, an exclusive resort where any fantasy can be satisfied, she knows she can find someone to fulfill her less-than-traditional desires on the side.

She just never expected that man to be Jace Austin, her old heart-breaker—all grown up, hard-bodied, and holding out a collar. She knows it’s probably a world-class bad idea—especially since Jace has brought along his buddy Andre, who’s every bit as irresistible. But if they can stick to the no-strings rules, so can she.

Too bad Jace has never been so good with rules. Evan is convinced “forever” is a word used only in greeting cards, but Jace and Andre have one last fantasy of hers left to fulfill. It’s time to go big or go home. And neither man has ever been a fan of going home.

 

And if you'd like to check out the first chapter, you can read it here.

 


 

You can buy MELT INTO YOU in print of ebook from any of these retailers: Amazon | Barnes and Noble | BAM | Indie Bound | Powell’s | Chapters


 

 

Blog tour: I'll be doing a blog tour for the next two weeks with some fun giveaways. If you'd like to follow along, be sure to stop by. Here's the schedule:

July 2:  Novel Reflections

July 3:  Tyra's Book Addiction

July 3: Lauren Dane's blog

July 3: The Smutketeers

July 4:  A Tasty Read

July 5:  Rachel Leigh - Erotic Romance

July 6:  Ramblings From This Chick

July 9:  Romancing Rakes For The Love of Romance

July 10:  AsianCocoa's Secret Garden

July 11:  Books Are Magic

July 12:  Roz Lee

July 13:  Seductive Musings

 

Thanks, y'all! Hope everyone has a great day and holiday tomorrow! :)

Sexy Excerpt from Eden Bradley's FALLEN ANGEL and a Giveaway!

Hey, y'all. Today I have a special treat - Author Eden Bradly (aka Eve Berlin). I love, love her books. And I'm not just saying that because she's here today. I'm a fan. So if you haven't read her yet, get to it. Super sexy, smart books. 

And if her stopping by with a hawt excerpt wasn't enough, she's giving away books! Yay! One of which is Pleasure's Edge, which is a fab BDSM romance. So read on and don't forget to leave a comment to enter the contest.

Over to you Eden...

***

Thank you so much to the kind and fabulous Roni Loren for having me here today to celebrate the release of my HQN book FALLEN ANGEL!

This story was in my head for ten years before I wrote the book. The idea came to me while I was listening to a Fleetwood Mac song, Rhiannon. In my head I saw a woman lying naked on the bare earth, strange symbols painted on her body, a hand scattering rock salt in a circle around her in some sort of ritual. I smelled the acrid scent of burning incense, heard a low, murmuring chant…This is how I get my story ideas sometimes-in images and scents and sound, bits of dialogue. Usually it all comes attached to characters who are pretty well fully formed. Sometimes they even tell me their names. But this book was a little more challenging-just pictures and sensations for the first few years, and it wouldn’t leave me alone until I started to build a story around it.

 

And by story I really mean characters, because that’s what it’s always about for me-the people involved. Falling in love and broken hearts and histories of loss and grief-I like my characters complicated! But this time-sheesh! My hero, Declan, is a guy with a really tragic past, and while Angel, my heroin, has had a life of horror few can even begin to imagine, she was the one who was all sweetness and light-not what I expected when I began putting <strong>FALLEN ANGEL</strong> together. And then, of course, there’s the demon Asmodeus…but he’s not what I expected either-and won’t be quite what you expect, but I can’t say more about him or I’ll spoil the story, even though he would love for me to tell you all about him-demons are wicked that way.

 

This is an incredibly romantic story. And because it’s me, it’s also a li’l dirty, because I love to explore those intimate moments when my characters are their most vulnerable, primal selves. Isn’t that why we love to read about sex? Well-partly, anyway…;) Whether you like the romantic part or the dirty part-or both!-I hope you all enjoy my book FALLEN ANGEL.


He would move heaven and earth to protect her

Was she heaven-sent…or more heartbreak waiting to happen?

Haunted by a military mission that ended in personal tragedy, Declan Byrne still bears a soldier’s scars. As a park ranger on the secluded Mendocino coast, he guards his heart while standing ready for anything. Anything except a beautiful, ethereal woman with a mysterious past, falling from the cliffs to the rocks below. Angel, as Declan decides to call her, has no memory of what happened. But as her body heals, disturbing dreams emerge. In Declan’s protective care, Angel feels safe to act on the undeniable passion between them, without the threats from old, unnameable demons. And, in time, she senses Declan needs her as desperately as she needs him. But when her past returns with a vengeance, Declan must decide just how much he’s willing to risk in order to keep the woman he loves safe.

~~~~~~

 (WARNING! X-RATED Excerpt!):

He sat up. They were in his bed, the moonlight shimmering through the curtains, striping the room in light and shadow. But he could see her clearly, her naked body kneeling next to his, her long hair like a veil around her shoulders, flowing over the curve of her breasts.

He was still pulsing with his orgasm, his cock thrumming, his body hot. And she was really there. In his bed, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

Jesus.

He was shaking. What the hell had just happened? What had he let happen?

“Angel. What’s going on? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to make you happy. To show you there is no reason to deny your desires. Or mine. Have I not made you happy? Your body is happy. But I still need you, Declan. I need you to touch me.”

“Jesus, Angel. I can’t believe this.”

“I’m real. I’m a woman, Declan, not a child. And I want you.”

She took his hand, and before he knew what she was going to do, she held his palm to her breast.

Jesus. Her flesh was warm, her nipple going hard beneath his fingers. He couldn’t force himself to pull away for a moment. When he finally tried to, she held on tighter.

“Please, Declan. Please don’t send me away again. I need you. And you need me. You cannot tell me you don’t.”

It was nearly impossible to think, his brain still half-dazed from coming. But he had to say something. Had to do something.

“Angel, this is not right. I can’t do this. We can’t do this.”

“We already have, Declan. And it was beautiful, as I knew it would be.”

He swore he could feel her pulse beating in the full flesh of her breast as she leaned into his touch.

“I’m here for you. For you, Declan. This is where I am supposed to be. You can’t tell me this is wrong. I won’t believe it. I love you, Declan.”

Love.

Jesus. Why did hearing her say that to him make his heart pound right out of his chest? His mind was going a hundred miles an hour. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Angel.”

“You cannot deny you feel something for me.”

He couldn’t.

God damn it.

“Of course I do! But this is...I don’t know anymore.”

“Feel this, Declan.” She held his hand closer, crushing her breast beneath their twined fingers. “Feel how my body heats for you. Feel my desire.”

She moved his hand down, over the soft cushion of her stomach. Lower still, in between her thighs. He was helpless to stop her. And when she slipped his fingers into her sweet, wet cleft, he was paralyzed.

“Ah, God...”

She sighed quietly, her breath coming out in a warm puff of air that grazed his cheek like a kiss.

“You are the first man to touch me, Declan. And it is better than anything I could have imagined. Your hand feels so different than mine. Larger. Stronger. And yours.”

She held him there, pressed against her mound. His heart was beating wildly. Totally out of control. He was out of control. Fucking helpless.

“I need you,” she said again. “I need you to touch me, Declan. I need you to quench this thirst. I feel as if I’ll die of it.”

Holding onto his hand with both of hers now, she slid it back and forth, over her cleft. Her flesh was soaking wet, slippery. And all he wanted was to touch her, taste her. Have her.

He knew in his head it was wrong. But his body felt right.

He couldn’t resist any longer. He could not do it.

“Declan, please have me. I will beg you until you do.”

Her hips were undulating against his hand, and he moved then of his own accord, sliding his fingers into her wet heat.

“Oh...” Her voice came out on a soft, whispered sigh.

“Angel.” His voice was gruff, thick with desire in his own ears.

“Yes...”

“I want you.”

“Yes, Declan. Now.”

 

~~~~~~

CONTEST! We can’t have a real celebration without giving something away, so how about I hand out to one lucky winner an ARC (advance reader copy) of the first in my ‘Edge’ series, PLEASURE’S EDGE, written under my alter ego, Eve Berlin, and a copy of my e-book WINTER SOLSTICE. Just comment here and let me know what you love about reading about love! I’ll choose a winner and announce it here in the comments section tomorrow night.

 

 

 

If you’d like more information about my books, visit my websites: EdenBradley.com EveBerlin.com or my group blog Smutketeers.com You can buy FALLEN ANGEL now at Amazon, B&N, Chapters.ca, Books-a-Million and other outlets! Hope to chat with you all soon! Eden aka Eve

 

 

Thanks so much to Eden for stopping by! And remember y'all, you need to comment for a chance to win. :)

The Movie You Wish You Could've Seen on the Big Screen

 

Photo via Endless Inspiration

Hope everyone had a great weekend. And happy belated Father's Day to any of you dads out there. : )

So, if any of you have hung around here for a while, you probably know that my favorite movie of all time is Dirty Dancing. In fact, I credit that movie with planting the seed that would eventually grow me into a romance writer. But even though it's my most fave movie ever, I'd never seen it on the big screen. When it came out, I was pretty young (too young to even know what most of the stuff in the movie was except the dancing), so I only saw it on video probably a year after it came out.

Then last week, I found out that my local theater was showing Dirty Dancing on the big screen one night only and for only a dollar. How awesome is that? So of course, I emailed my friend Jamie Wesley, an equally die hard fan to go with me.

It was so much fun to see the movie in all its full screen glory. The theater was sold out and more than one of us were lipsyncing lines and the songs. And of course there was clapping for "I carried a watermelon" and "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." And I think my movie date (I'm looking at you, Jamie) may have recited the entire monologue of  Baby's "I did it for nothing?!" speech.

A good time was had by all. : ) I think the theater is doing Sixteen Candles like this soon too, so I'm going to try to go to that one as well. LOVE that movie. And it's another I've never seen on the big screen.

This weekend I also managed to finish one book and read another short novella (novelette?). And as always, when I enjoy something I want to pass it on. Here's what I read:

Blurb:

A friend’s duty. 

Tyler Murphy was an LAPD detective, single and happy—until a near-fatal tragedy crippled his friend, fellow detective Eric Catalano. While Tyler supported Eric, he also became a shoulder for Eric’s wife, Delaney, to lean on. But with one naughty suggestion from Eric, a drunken night with Delaney spilled into erotic abandon. Before it was over, Tyler saw his best friend’s wife as a woman and yearned for more. When Eric struggled to deal with the aftermath, Delaney begged Tyler to leave. Crushed, he fled to Louisiana, hoping to escape his longing for the one woman he could never have again…and unaware of what he’d left behind. 

A lover’s desire. 

After two years of living with regret, Tyler finds Delaney on his doorstep, her husband having abandoned her long ago. She’s protecting a shocking secret and desperately needs refuge from a stalker determined to see her dead. As they fight to stay alive and catch the killer, they struggle to resolve the guilt of their past pleasures. But they can’t deny that what was once a spark is now a flame burning out of control. To possess Delaney—body and soul—Tyler must heal her pain and thwart the evil that’s a mere breath behind her…

I always love Shayla's books. If you haven't read her Wicked Lovers series, definitely check them out. This one is far along in the series but can stand alone. If you want to start from the beginning, Wicked Ties is the first one.

And then I also read this short little novella--Restraint by Charlotte Stein. It was funny and awkward and sexy all at the same time. The cover is a little...retro, but don't let that scare you off. :)

Blurb:

Marnie Lewis is certain that one of her friends – handsome but awkward Brandon – hates her guts. The last thing she wants to do is go on a luscious weekend away with him and a few other buddies, to a cabin in the woods. But when she catches Brandon doing something very dirty after a night spent listening to her relate some of her sexcapades to everyone, she can’t resist pushing his buttons a little harder. He might seem like a prude, but Marnie suspects he likes a little dirty talk. And Marnie has no problems inciting his long dormant desires.

Good books and good movies. I'd say that was an all around awesome week. :)

So tell me, what movie do you wish you could see on the big screen?

Made of Win Monday and Last Chance to Enter My Contest

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Today I have a bit of a Made of Win Monday round up.

First, today is the LAST DAY you can enter my STILL INTO YOU contest where you can win a box of awesome, a gift card, or a 20 page critique from me. Contest ends at midnight central time.

A few guest posts...

I'm over at Tory Michael's blog with an interview where I answer questions such as how I balance writing and blogging with the rest of my life and why I like writing BDSM.

I'm also on Peanut Butter on the Keyboard talking On Milk Allergies and Trusting Your Mommy Gut.

 

Now a few things Made of Win...

  • I finished writing NOT UNTIL YOU over the weekend, which is Ian's story (yes, the Ian in STILL INTO YOU.) So I managed to write and revise a 40k novella in 6 weeks. Yay! Now I know that's probably nothing to you speed writers, but that's a much improved pace for me. Now it's on to Kelsey's story, CAUGHT UP IN YOU.

 

 

  • Saw Snow White and The Huntsman this weekend and was pleasantly surprised. I'm not usually a fairy tale person, but I really enjoyed the movie. Now, I would've loved to see a little more romance-y stuff wrapped up, but I have a feeling they left things a little open with hopes for a sequel. I'm all for more Chris Hemsworth regardless. :) Two thumbs up.

 

 

  • I've been in the mood for a good horror story lately and wanted to try an indie one. After a few failed attempts at finding one whose sample pages didn't make me cringe, I ended up with Alexandra Sokoloff's The Harrowing . (I realized afterwards that though this one is indie now, it's her backlist and was orginally published by St. Martins. So oh well on my attempt to find a truly self-pubbed one, lol. But hey, the effort was there.) And I really enjoyed the story. It was creepy and had me leaving lights on when I was alone in the house at night. You can definitely tell that the author is a screenwriter because I could easily picture this story like it was playing on a screen. Someone on Goodreads described it as Scream meets The Exorcist. I think that's a pretty good description, though there was no humor like in Scream. Anyway, I enjoyed it and if you have Amazon Prime, it's free in the lending library.

Here's the blurb:

Baird College's Mendenhall echoes with the footsteps of the last home-bound students heading off for Thanksgiving break, and Robin Stone swears she can feel the creepy, hundred-year-old residence hall breathe a sigh of relief for its long-awaited solitude. Or perhaps it's only gathering itself for the coming weekend.

As a massive storm dumps rain on the isolated campus, four other lonely students reveal themselves: Patrick, a handsome jock; Lisa, a manipulative tease; Cain, a brooding musician; and finally Martin, a scholarly eccentric. Each has forsaken a long weekend at home for their own secret reasons.

The five unlikely companions establish a tentative rapport, but they soon become aware of a sixth presence disturbing the ominous silence that pervades the building. Are they the victims of a simple college prank taken way too far, or is the unusual energy evidence of something genuine---and intent on using the five students for its own terrifying ends? It's only Thursday afternoon, and they have three long days and dark nights before the rest of the world returns to find out what's become of them. But for now it's just the darkness keeping company with five students nobody wants and no one will miss.

 

All right, that was my Made of Win weekend, how was yours? Anyone else see Snow White? Anybody have any good horror recommendations for me (prefer creepy/scary to all out gore)?