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My How To Write Love Scenes class is open for enrollment!

January 30, 2020 Roni Loren
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Fellow writers, I’ve opened up my Love Scenes class and have a discount code for you if you sign up early! I only offer this class 1-2 a year and it sold out last time, so if you’ve been waiting for this one to open up, it’s time! The details are below. Hope to see you in class!

CLASS BEGINS FEBRUARY 22, 2020

***GET 15% OFF WITH CODE: VALENTINE IF YOU SIGN UP BY FEB. 14***

Whether you're writing sweet, sexy, or melt-the-pages romance, no one wants to write love scenes that have readers skimming the pages. Join New York Times bestselling author and two-time Rita award winner Roni Loren in an in-depth workshop on writing great love scenes. Learn how to write different types of love scenes, how to make them memorable and not cringe-worthy, and how to tailor them to your genre or subgenre. You'll also dig into the components of a great love scene (spoiler: it has very little to do with choreography.) And finally, you'll learn how to get past any my-mom/dad-might-read-this qualms. It can be done!

Note: This is a workshop for 18+ age group. 

What We’ll Cover

  • Do you need that love scene?

  • Four different types of love scenes

  • How to write a great love scene

  • Building tension before the big moment(s)

  • Components of a great love scene (digging into topics such as conflict, language, sensory detail, POV, timing, etc.)

  • The Centerpiece Love Scene

  • What will turn a sexy scene cold

  • How to get over my-mother-may-read-this fear

  • Examples including excerpts from books and movie clips will be used to illustrate the concepts.

Format:

  • LIVE VIDEO PRESENTATION - Roni will open the class with a live video and slide presentation (roughly 1.5-2 hours.) This is the full workshop she presents at writing conferences across the country. (The live video call will be via the Zoom app/website. Students will not be on camera or audio, but will be able to use the chat box for questions. The video will be recorded and posted within the class if you can't make it during the live time.)

  • PRINTABLE LECTURES - The information covered in the lecture will also be broken down and provided in printed lectures that you can download and keep. This will give you the opportunity to go over the information in more detail and at your own pace. 

  • OPTIONAL ASSIGNMENTS - Within the lectures, there will be optional assignments to help you work on the skills discussed.

  • LIVE Q+A - Questions can be submitted to Roni throughout the class. At the end of the class session, Roni will do a live Q+A to answer your questions.

  • CLASS DISCUSSION - Within the class, you will have the opportunity to chat with the instructor, your fellow writers, potentially find beta readers/critique partners, and learn from each other.

click here to GRAB YOUR SPOT NOW

(AND DON’T FORGET TO USE YOUR DISCOUNT CODE)

Happy writing!

In Writing Tags love scenes, writing classes, writing class, how to write love scenes, how to write romance, romance writing, romance writers, learn to write online, classes for writers, writing workshop

On Craving Quiet (Or Where I've Been)

January 21, 2020 Roni Loren
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When I was growing up, quiet wasn’t a good word. At least when it was directed your way as a kid or teen. “Roni’s quiet.” That meant you were a little weird, a little different, that you had a problem you needed to work on. I didn’t disagree that it could be a difficult thing to be, especially when you’re younger. But I also knew it wasn’t something I could change no matter how much I wanted to transform into the bubbly social butterfly. Fundamentally, I was a quiet, in-my-head kind of kid. So it’s not shocking that I’ve grown into a quiet, in-my-head adult. The only thing that’s different now is that I have no interest in changing that aspect of myself. Being quiet is what let me observe people and the world when no one even realized I was paying attention. Being quiet is what helped me weave imaginary stories in my head. Being quiet gave me this job of being a writer.

However, even as a writer—a field full of introverts (though not all writers)—there are still many outward things required. Chatting with readers. Promoting books. Blog tours. Interviews. Podcasts. Facebook groups. And for me, now that I’m also teaching writing classes, teaching and being on video.

Even though I’m quiet, I can do those things. I can truly enjoy those things. But…they require a lot of what my friend and author/coach Becca Syme calls “energy pennies.” When it comes to introverts, we can drain our bank accounts quickly with all the things that aren’t “sitting in our office, being a hermit, and writing a book.”

Usually, I’m pretty good about balancing things. I know that I need quiet downtime in between the outward-facing stuff. But over the past few months, we added a big stressor to the mix. We put our house of 13 years on the market, searched for a new one, and then moved (the day after Christmas no less) to a rural-ish area an hour away—which means new school for kidlet, new doctors, new everything, etc.

I’m so happy we’ve landed where we have, but it took ALL the energy pennies to get here. And then I had a new book come out Dec. 31. So what little energy stores I had left went to that. Which has left me in total hermit mode.

I have a tendency to retreat when I’m stressed. Y’all have seen me do things like the monthlong social media ban. Pulling back and being quiet refuels my tank. It also gives me the vital brain space needed to create new stories. I planned to start a new book at the beginning of this month, but I’m just now getting to the point where inklings of ideas and words are coming back to me. I planned to teach my Love Scenes class at the beginning of February, but I will need to push that back. I had to get really quiet. Read. Binge TV. Cook. Watch a lot of sunsets. Spend time with my family. (Unpack approximately eleventy million boxes.) Teen Me would apologize for retreating into my cave. Adult Me knows it’s the only way for me to not burn out completely.

So yes, “Roni’s quiet.” But I’m still here. Working. And hopefully coming up with stories that you’ll want to read. :)

What do you do when you get overwhelmed?

In Life, Writing Tags roni loren, introvert, quiet, writer, writers, downtime, creativity

My Favorite Reads of 2019

December 9, 2019 Roni Loren
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Last week, I posted a list of my top 5 audiobooks of 2019. Today, I’m bringing you my favorites in print and ebook. I had trouble narrowing down the list, which is a good problem to have. It means I’ve read a lot of great books this year! But to make it easier to go through, I’ve separated my faves out by category.

Hopefully, you’ll find some to add to your holiday wishlist!

Favorite Romances

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Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Yes, I’m a romance writer who had only seen the movie and had never read the actual book. I blame high school for making me scared to read classics. I’m so glad I finally picked this one up. You can read about my full thoughts in this post.

 
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Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

This one was just a delight all around. Fun, sexy, and sweet.

About the book:

What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales?

When his mother became President, Alex Claremont-Diaz was promptly cast as the American equivalent of a young royal. Handsome, charismatic, genius—his image is pure millennial-marketing gold for the White House. There's only one problem: Alex has a beef with the actual prince, Henry, across the pond. And when the tabloids get hold of a photo involving an Alex-Henry altercation, U.S./British relations take a turn for the worse.

Heads of family, state, and other handlers devise a plan for damage control: staging a truce between the two rivals. What at first begins as a fake, Instragramable friendship grows deeper, and more dangerous, than either Alex or Henry could have imagined. Soon Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret romance with a surprisingly unstuffy Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations and begs the question: Can love save the world after all? Where do we find the courage, and the power, to be the people we are meant to be? And how can we learn to let our true colors shine through?

 
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Misadventures with a Professor by Sierra Simone

I have trouble reading erotic romance these days because I tend to be extra tough on it (having written in that genre for so long) but I’m happy to report that this one was fantastic. Great writing, very steamy, and had likable characters. I’ll definitely be picking up more by this author.

About the book:

Zandy Lynch never planned on going to grad school a virgin. So when her professor father finds her a job abroad as a research assistant the summer before she starts her master’s program, she sees her chance. She’s got one night in London to lose her V-card to a Mr. Darcy lookalike before she has to join some ancient professor in the country.

Oliver Graeme is not looking forward to having some American co-ed hovering around while he’s trying to work, but he owes her father the favor, and besides, his office is an untidy mess of uncatalogued research. He needs the help. Still, he decides to take the edge off his frustration while visiting a colleague in London, and winds up having the sexiest, sweetest night of his life with a stranger, who vanishes in the morning without a trace…

To Zandy’s shock when she arrives at Professor Graeme’s house a day later, the door isn’t opened by a fussy old scholar, but by the wild, passionate man she met in London. Cold and reserved by day, Oliver is ferociously greedy with her at night, and it’s not long before Zandy finds herself falling for both versions of him—the aloof professor and the generous, rough lover. The trouble is that summer only lasts so long, and Zandy already has a plane ticket waiting to take her home…

 
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Picture Perfect Cowboy by Tiffany Reisz

I always enjoy Tiffany’s writing, so this one isn’t a surprise. It’s super steamy with great backstory and emotion packed into this quick novella.

About the book:

Jason "Still" Waters' life looks perfect from the outside—money, fame, and the words "World Champion Bull-Rider" after his name. But Jason has a secret, one he never planned on telling anybody...until he meets Simone. She's the kinky girl of his dreams...and his conservative family's worst nightmare.

 

Favorite YA

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Emergency Contact by Mary H. K. Choi

Quotes from my private reading journal about this book: “funny and weird and sweet” and “the end gave me the awws”. This one took a little bit to get into at first, but once I was hooked, I was hooked. Great story.

About the book:

For Penny Lee high school was a total nonevent. Her friends were okay, her grades were fine, and while she somehow managed to land a boyfriend, he doesn’t actually know anything about her. When Penny heads to college in Austin, Texas, to learn how to become a writer, it’s seventy-nine miles and a zillion light years away from everything she can’t wait to leave behind.

Sam’s stuck. Literally, figuratively, emotionally, financially. He works at a café and sleeps there too, on a mattress on the floor of an empty storage room upstairs. He knows that this is the god-awful chapter of his life that will serve as inspiration for when he’s a famous movie director but right this second the seventeen bucks in his checking account and his dying laptop are really testing him.

When Sam and Penny cross paths it’s less meet-cute and more a collision of unbearable awkwardness. Still, they swap numbers and stay in touch—via text—and soon become digitally inseparable, sharing their deepest anxieties and secret dreams without the humiliating weirdness of having to see each other.

 
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This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

I really enjoyed the peek into the art of DJing in this book, and though it wasn’t a romance, I feel like the hook-up was portrayed well and served the story. I’m looking forward to reading more by this author.

About the book:

Making friends has never been Elise Dembowski's strong suit. All throughout her life, she's been the butt of every joke and the outsider in every conversation. When a final attempt at popularity fails, Elise nearly gives up.

Then she stumbles upon a warehouse party where she meets Vicky, a girl in a band who accepts her; Char, a cute, yet mysterious disc jockey; Pippa, a carefree spirit from England; and most importantly, a love for DJing.

Told in a refreshingly genuine and laugh-out-loud funny voice, Leila Sales' This Song Will Save Your Life powerful young adult coming of age novel is an exuberant story about identity, friendship, and the power of music to bring people together.

 

Favorite Horror/Thriller

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No Exit by Taylor Adams

This was one was billed as a thriller, but I think it reads more like a tense horror movie. I prefer horror to thriller so that totally worked for me. Here’s a quote from my original review: “The best way I can describe this book is take the claustrophobic, trapped feeling of The Shining (minus the supernatural) and mix it with a villain who just won’t stop like Michael Myers in the Halloween movies, and this is what you get.” Read my full review here. This is a great one for a winter read because the main character is snowed in at the rest stop.

About the book:

On her way to Utah to see her dying mother, college student Darby Thorne gets caught in a fierce blizzard in the mountains of Colorado. With the roads impassable, she’s forced to wait out the storm at a remote highway rest stop. Inside, are some vending machines, a coffee maker, and four complete strangers.

Desperate to find a signal to call home, Darby goes back out into the storm . . . and makes a horrifying discovery. In the back of the van parked next to her car, a little girl is locked in an animal crate.

Who is the child? Why has she been taken? And how can Darby save her?

There is no cell phone reception, no telephone, and no way out. One of her fellow travelers is a kidnapper. But which one?

Trapped in an increasingly dangerous situation, with a child’s life and her own on the line, Darby must find a way to break the girl out of the van and escape.

But who can she trust?

 
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Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Clever world-building in this one (which took a while to set up in the story, but was worth the time) and I didn’t guess the mystery, which I always love. I’m also a sucker for a dark book set at a university. (This one is set at a supernatural version of Yale.) It did have a cliffhanger about one plot line but wrapped up the main one, so I didn’t get too frustrated with a partial cliffhanger. The next book doesn’t come out until 2021, so I will be eagerly awaiting the next one.

About the book:

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her?

Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

 
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Verity by Colleen Hoover

This one is labeled a romantic thriller. Quote from my private reading journal: “This book was super dark and a mindf**k. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough.” This one was legitimately creepy and had a gothic feel to it with a big, old house, an invalid wife, and a creepy kid. It kept me guessing, and I’m really glad it didn’t turn out to be a trope I hate in thrillers. I won’t say what that trope is because I don’t want to risk spoilers.

About the book:

Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.

Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died.

Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen's feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife's words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.

 

Favorite Non-Fiction

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Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

Y’all probably have figured out that I love just about anything from Cal Newport. This book was no exception. You can read about my digital declutter, inspired by this book, in this blog post.

About the book:

The key to living well in a high tech world is to spend much less time using technology.

Georgetown computer scientist Cal Newport's Deep Work sparked a movement around the idea that unbroken concentration produces far more value than the electronic busyness that defines the modern work day. But his readers had an urgent follow-up question: What about technology in our personal lives?

In recent years, our culture's relationship with personal technology has transformed from something exciting into something darker. Innovations like smartphones and social media are useful, but many of us are increasingly troubled by how much control these tools seem to exert over our daily experiences--including how we spend our free time and how we feel about ourselves.

In Digital Minimalism, Newport proposes a bold solution: a minimalist approach to technology use in which you radically reduce the time you spend online, focusing on a small set of carefully-selected activities while happily ignoring the rest.

He mounts a vigorous defense for this less-is-more approach, combining historical examples with case studies of modern digital minimalists to argue that this philosophy isn't a rejection of technology, but instead a necessary realignment to ensure that these tools serve us, not the other way around.

To make these principles practical, he takes us inside the growing subculture of digital minimalists who have built rich lives on a foundation of intentional technology use, and details a decluttering process that thousands have already used to simplify their online lives. He also stresses the importance of never clicking "like," explores the underappreciated value of analog hobbies, and draws lessons from the "attention underground"--a resistance movement fighting the tech companies' attempts to turn us into gadget addicts.

Digital Minimalism is an indispensable guide for anyone looking to reclaim their life from the alluring diversions of the digital world.

 
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

From my original review: “As some of you know, I was a social worker/therapist before I left to be a full-time writer, so I’m already a psychology nerd. But this book was so much more than a look at psychology. Gottlieb is an experienced writer and storyteller, so what could’ve been dry was a rich and heartfelt page-turner. I got attached to the clients she featured and was invested in her own story as well. I have so many underlined passages in this one, and it made me think deeply about big life issues like mid-life crises and how to deal with fear of death and so much else. This one is sad at parts but ultimately uplifting and life-affirming. I want to put this book in everyone’s hands.”

About the book:

From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world--where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).

One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.

As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients' lives -- a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys -- she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.

With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

 
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On Being 40ish edited by Lindsey Mead

Guess who turned 40 this year? ;) I loved this collection of essays. Some were funny, some poignant, some powerful. If you’re a woman of a certain age, there’s a lot here to enjoy.

About the book:

Fifteen powerful women and writers you know and love—from the pages of the New Yorker, New York Times, Vogue, Glamour, and The Atlantic—offer captivating, intimate, and candid explorations about what it’s really like turning forty—and that the best is yet to come.

The big 4-0. Like eighteen and twenty-one, this is a major and meaningful milestone our lives—especially for women. Turning forty is a poignant doorway between youth and…what comes after; a crossroads to reflect on the roads taken and not, and the paths yet before you. The decade that follows is ripe for nostalgia, inspiration, wisdom, and personal growth.

In this dazzling collection, fifteen writers explore this rich phase in essays that are profound, moving and above all, brimming with joie de vivre. With a diverse array of voices—including Veronica Chambers, Meghan Daum, Kate Bolick, Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Sloane Crosley, KJ Dell’Antonia, Julie Klam, Jessica Lahey, Catherine Newman, Sujean Rim, Jena Schwartz, Sophfronia Scott, Allison Winn Scotch, Lee Woodruff, and Jill Kargman—On Being 40(ish) offers deeply personal, often hilarious perspectives across a range of universal themes—friendship, independence, sex, beauty, aging, wisdom, and the passage of time.

Beautifully designed to make the perfect gift, and to be a treasure to turn to time and time again, On Being 40(ish) reflects the hopes, fears, challenges and opportunities of a generation.

*Be sure to check out my Top 5 Non-Fiction Favorite in Audio of you want more non-fiction

 

Favorites on Writing/Creativity

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Dear Writer, Are You In Burnout? by Becca Syme

I’m always recommending Becca’s classes to my writer friends, but now she also has books! This one was a must read for me because I am someone who cycles in and out of creative burnout on a pretty consistent basis—some burnouts worse than others. This book goes over the signs and what you can do to work your way out of burnout—and hopefully how to prevent yourself from ending up there again in the future.

About the book:

The industry is moving at a breakneck pace and writers are burning out everywhere. Write fast, write first, write every day... it's all taking its toll.

Some of us are built for this speed. Some of us are not. How do you know if you're in burnout? And if you are in it, how do you get out of it? Is it avoidable?

Author coach Becca Syme has been working with thousands of fiction and nonfiction authors, and has seen the burnout firsthand. This book is based on a popular series of videos from her authortube channel, The QuitCast, where she outlined the process of burnout, how to understand it and how to survive it.

This is a topic that, if it's part of your journey, will not go away until you face it. If you are in burnout, or are afraid you're headed for it, please get this book. It's time to face the pit together.

 
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Keep Going by Austin Kleon

A small book chock full of inspiration and good advice for the creative. I really like Kleon’s style of books (go with the print version and not the ebook because of the drawings.) This is one to keep on your shelf and go back to when you need a little creative boost.

About the book:

In his previous books Steal Like an Artist and Show Your Work!, both New York Times bestsellers, Austin Kleon gave readers the keys to unlock their creativity and showed them how to become known. Now he offers his most inspiring work yet, with ten simple rules for how to stay creative, focused, and true to yourself—for life.

The creative life is not a linear journey to a finish line, it’s a loop—so find a daily routine, because today is the only day that matters. Disconnect from the world to connect with yourself—sometimes you just have to switch into airplane mode. Keep Going celebrates getting outdoors and taking a walk (as director Ingmar Bergman told his daughter, ”The demons hate fresh air”). Pay attention, and especially pay attention to what you pay attention to. Worry less about getting things done, and more about the worth of what you’re doing. Instead of focusing on making your mark, work to leave things better than you found them.

Keep Going and its timeless, practical, and ethical principles are for anyone trying to sustain a meaningful and productive life.

 

Hey, you’ve made it to the end! Hope you found something you’d like to read.

I’d love to hear your favorite read of 2019. :)

In Book Recommendations, Books, Reading, What To Read, Writing Tags favorite books of 2019, reading, romance, non-fiction, horror, thriller, young adult, book recommendations, roni loren, best reads of 2019, books on writing

My Favorite Summer Reads of 2019 So Far

July 5, 2019 Roni Loren
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Happy July! How’s your summer reading going? Is the pile getting any shorter or is it just growing as you add more books to it?

I’ve been reading like a maniac. This tends to happen when I’m in drafting mode for a book. After I dump all those words onto the page every day, I need my brain refilled with other people’s stories. I read 11 books in June, which is a high count for me, and I’m happy to report that there were some great ones in the mix.

So, I thought it’d be a good time to recommend my favorite summer reads so far. Also, if you like hearing my book recommendations, I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter, which is usually filled with my favorite book recs.

 

Most Fun to Read

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Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

I read all kind of books in the summer, so I don’t stick to only “breezy” books for summer, but if there was ever a perfect poolside read, it was this one. So funny and sweet and sexy. I gobbled this one up on my beach vacation and was left with a big smile on my face.

About the book:

A big-hearted romantic comedy in which First Son Alex falls in love with Prince Henry of Wales after an incident of international proportions forces them to pretend to be best friends...

First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince. Alex is busy enough handling his mother’s bloodthirsty opponents and his own political ambitions without an uptight royal slowing him down. But beneath Henry’s Prince Charming veneer, there’s a soft-hearted eccentric with a dry sense of humor and more than one ghost haunting him.

As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. And Henry throws everything into question for Alex, an impulsive, charming guy who thought he knew everything: What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?

 

Most Clever Read

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Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

I mentioned this one in my last post, but this is a modern Pride and Prejudice retelling. The way the author worked in so many elements of P&P in a completely different set up was so smart and fun. I loved catching all the little references back to the original but loved that I also got a completely fresh story.

About the book:

This version of the Bennet family and Mr. Darcy is one that you have and haven't met before: Liz is a magazine writer in her late thirties who, like her yoga instructor older sister, Jane, lives in New York City. When their father has a health scare, they return to their childhood home in Cincinnati to help and discover that the sprawling Tudor they grew up in is crumbling and the family is in disarray.

Youngest sisters Kitty and Lydia are too busy with their CrossFit workouts and Paleo diets to get jobs. Mary, the middle sister, is earning her third online master's degree and barely leaves her room, except for those mysterious Tuesday-night outings she won't discuss. And Mrs. Bennet has one thing on her mind: how to marry off her daughters, especially as Jane's fortieth birthday fast approaches.

Enter Chip Bingley, a handsome new-in-town doctor who recently appeared on the juggernaut reality TV dating show Eligible. At a Fourth of July barbecue, Chip takes an immediate interest in Jane, but Chip's friend, neurosurgeon Fitzwilliam Darcy, reveals himself to Liz to be much less charming. . . . And yet, first impressions can be deceiving.

 

Best Audiobook for a Nostalgic Summer Road Trip

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Best. Movie. Year. Ever.: How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen by Brian Raftery

If you are of my generation or near it, this will be such a fun listen. I was 19 in 1999 and so going back in time and hearing about all the great movies that came out that year wasn’t just a fun nostalgic trip, it was also fascinating. There was so much interesting backstory on each of the movies featured, and it made me want to watch the ones I hadn’t seen and rewatch the ones I had. Be prepared to greatly expand your movie streaming watchlist. Also, I’m sure this reads well in print too, but the audio was fantastic.

About the book:

From a veteran culture writer and modern movie expert, a celebration and analysis of the movies of 1999—arguably the most groundbreaking year in American cinematic history.

In 1999, Hollywood as we know it exploded: Fight Club. The Matrix. Office Space. Election. The Blair Witch Project. The Sixth Sense. Being John Malkovich. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. American Beauty. The Virgin Suicides. Boys Don’t Cry. The Best Man. Three Kings. Magnolia. Those are just some of the landmark titles released in a dizzying movie year, one in which a group of daring filmmakers and performers pushed cinema to new limits—and took audiences along for the ride. Freed from the restraints of budget, technology (or even taste), they produced a slew of classics that took on every topic imaginable, from sex to violence to the end of the world. The result was a highly unruly, deeply influential set of films that would not only change filmmaking, but also give us our first glimpse of the coming twenty-first century. It was a watershed moment that also produced The Sopranos; Apple’s Airport; Wi-Fi; and Netflix’s unlimited DVD rentals.

Best. Movie. Year. Ever. is the story of not just how these movies were made, but how they re-made our own vision of the world. It features more than 130 new and exclusive interviews with such directors and actors as Reese Witherspoon, Edward Norton, Steven Soderbergh, Sofia Coppola, David Fincher, Nia Long, Matthew Broderick, Taye Diggs, M. Night Shyamalan, David O. Russell, James Van Der Beek, Kirsten Dunst, the Blair Witch kids, the Office Space dudes, the guy who played Jar-Jar Binks, and dozens more. It’s the definitive account of a culture-conquering movie year none of us saw coming…and that we may never see again.

 

Most Life-Affirming and Thought-Provoking

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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb

As some of you know, I was a social worker/therapist before I left to be a full-time writer, so I’m already a psychology nerd. But this book was so much more than a look at psychology. Gottlieb is an experienced writer and storyteller, so what could’ve been dry was a rich and heartfelt page-turner. I got attached to the clients she featured and was invested in her own story as well. I have so many underlined passages in this one, and it made me think deeply about big life issues like mid-life crises and how to deal with fear of death and so much else. This one is sad at parts but ultimately uplifting and life-affirming. I want to put this book in everyone’s hands.

About the book:

From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world--where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).

One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.

As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients' lives -- a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys -- she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.

With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

 

Best Sure Thing

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An Offer From a Gentleman and Romancing Mister Bridgerton by Julia Quinn

Julia Quinn is one of those authors I can go to when I need a sure thing, when I don’t want to risk starting a book that might let me down. Her books are always fun, romantic, and bingeable. I know when I pick one up that I won’t be able to put it down until I’m done. And after I read these two, I heard that The Bridgertons series is going to become a TV show via Netflix and Shonda Rimes. SO. EXCITED. I can’t wait to continue on with the series.

About the book:

Will she accept his offer before the clock strikes midnight?

Sophie Beckett never dreamed she'd be able to sneak into Lady Bridgerton's famed masquerade ball—or that "Prince Charming" would be waiting there for her! Though the daughter of an earl, Sophie has been relegated to the role of servant by her disdainful stepmother. But now, spinning in the strong arms of the debonair and devastatingly handsome Benedict Bridgerton, she feels like royalty. Alas, she knows all enchantments must end when the clock strikes midnight.

Who was that extraordinary woman? Ever since that magical night, a radiant vision in silver has blinded Benedict to the attractions of any other—except, perhaps this alluring and oddly familiar beauty dressed in housemaid's garb whom he feels compelled to rescue from a most disagreeable situation. He has sworn to find and wed his mystery miss, but this breathtaking maid makes him weak with wanting her. Yet, if he offers his heart, will Benedict sacrifice his only chance for a fairy tale love?

 

Best Advice That Most of Us Need to Hear

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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

I think the title says everything you need to know. Great advice on how to relieve stress and deal with burnout.

About the book:

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?

Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn

• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation
• how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
• how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it
• why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout

With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.


WRITING WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT

Fellow writers, my How to Write Love Scenes That Readers Won’t Skip class is now open for enrollment! Spaces are limited, so grab a spot if you’re interested. Click the link or the pic for more details.

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What’s been your favorite summer read so far this year?

In Book Recommendations, Books, News, Reading, What To Read, Writing Tags summer reading, romance reading, roni loren, writer workshop, how to write love scenes, summer books, readers, romance

Seeking Balance: The Friday-Only Social Media Plan

May 28, 2019 Roni Loren
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In the past few months, I’ve been blogging a lot about my relationship with social media and figuring out how to manage distractions. Really, it’s been a topic on my mind for years, and I’ve come at it in a number of different ways.

If you missed those posts, here’s a quick recap. In February, I did a month with no social media or what Cal Newport calls a digital declutter. I went into my reasons in that initial post. I completed the month successfully and recapped what the experience was like, what I learned, and what I was going to try to do going forward. I also did a post about how I’ve retrained my brain for Deep Work over a two and a half year time period by limiting distractions. Then most recently, I blogged about how, after all this work to corral my own distractions, I didn’t want to be a distraction for you, so I wrote about what I would share and not share online going forward in my post I Am Not Here to Distract You.

See? Told you I’ve been a bit obsessed with this topic, lol. And that’s not even counting all my Device-Free Summer posts about my kidlet from years past.

So, here I am talking about it again because since that month without social media, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to recapture the benefits of that fast while still maintaining a social media presence—something that is a part of my job as a writer. In my post where I outlined what I hoped to do going forward to tame social media, I had high hopes. But I admit that I haven’t stuck to a big chunk of those plans (like only checking social media at lunch.) It’s frustrating.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that in most habits I want to break, I tend to be an abstainer and not a moderator. (I got this terminology from Gretchen Rubin. See: Are You an Abstainer or a Moderator?) A moderator is a person who can just have a little of something (hence, moderate.) So they want to eat less sugar, but they don’t have to give it up completely. They have the personality that can have one cookie a week and move on.

In the past, I fancied myself a moderator. Because in some situations, I am. (I can make Halloween candy last months. But that’s because I only like candy a little bit.) However, in general, I’ve realized that I’m much more successful as an abstainer. It’s easier for me to have/do something none of the time than some of the time. For instance, about fifteen years ago I wanted to stop drinking soft drinks (diet or otherwise.) I failed at moderating. But once I said, no more, I am not a person who drinks soft drinks—then it was done. Fifteen years later, I still don’t drink them and I’m not tempted to. (This is coming from someone who used to drink like half a dozen Diet Mt. Dews a day.)

Abstaining takes the decision fatigue out of play. I just don’t do that, so there’s no debate to be had. That was why by the halfway point in the social media fast, I had this sense of ahh… I don’t have to think about that. The decision was made. I am not a person who does social media this month.

But, social media isn’t soft drinks. It’s a part of my job. It’s a part of life for most of us. It’s not as easy to just say no more ever. However, trying to moderate it hasn’t gone all that well for me. I’m not anywhere near where I was a few years ago or even pre-fast, but the impulse is still there, distracting me. Should I post? What should I post? I’m bored standing in line, let me look at Instagram. Did someone respond to my comment? How about now? Or now? (Note: I’m not making a moral judgement about social media. If you love it and it works for you, you do you. There are parts I love about it, too.)

So during this past month—which OMG May is trying to kill me with how busy it’s been with general life/family stuff—I’ve been trying to work through a very difficult block in the book I’m writing and finish up teaching my beginners romance writing course. Stress level has been high. I needed all my brain power to figure out the puzzle I’d written myself into and to be present for the students in my class. Posting on social media has mostly fallen by the wayside, but checking it…? Yeah, I’m reaching for it a lot because it’s a distraction from the hard things I’ve got to do.

This, of course, has got me thinking about how to find balance again. The next two months are going to be frenetic because I have a lot of writing to do, a family vacation, and then a trip to New York for RWA (which, of course, falls right before I’m supposed to turn in my book, arg.) I need to clear as much non-essential stuff off my plate as I can. Knowing all that made me want to do a summer-long social media break because: abstainer. But I know that’s not realistic for the long-term, so I’ve decided to try a variation.

I’m going to limit social media checking and posting to one day a week—Friday. This way, I don’t ignore people who have reached out to me and I can share/promote things if need be, but I don’t have a decision to make on a daily basis. I will only check it on Friday so that means every other day, the decision is already made. I’m hoping that will trick my abstainer brain into complying. ;)

I got the Friday idea from this post by Sol Orwell: How to Take Fridays “Off” (and still be insanely productive). The post isn’t about social media but more about how we tend to slack off on Fridays and a way to embrace that. So he reserves his Fridays for reading/learning for a few hours (he saves all the articles and such that he comes across during the week for this time) and also does networking on Fridays. That way, he’s still productive, but the things that could be distractions during the week have their place on his schedule. So taking a cue from him, I’m thinking my social networking can have a happy home on Fridays. I’ll also probably put “reply to non-urgent email” as a recurring task on that day as well. So then those things aren’t free-floating around in my head. They have a spot on the schedule and will be handled.

So starting tomorrow, I’m going to give this new plan a try and see how it goes. If it doesn’t work, it may be social media-free summer for me. But I’ll report back! And if you message me on social media and don’t get a reply for a little while, now you know why!

Have you found a great system to balance your social media or other distractions when you have a big project to work on?

In Life, Productivity, Writing, Social Media Tags social media break, social media only one day a week, digital minimalism, digital detox, digital fast, deep work, distractions, productivity, writers, roni loren, writing, social media balance, cal newport, gretchen rubin
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