The Digital Declutter & Why I'm Taking a 30-Day Social Media Break

If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know that one of my favorite topics to explore and evaluate is our relationship with devices, the internet, and social media. For two summers, we’ve done device-free summer with kidlet and have had a lot of success with that (he even requested to have one last summer when I wasn’t planning on it.) It truly changed my kid. I realized today I don’t even know where his Ipad went. I haven’t seen it in almost a year. He used to be attached to that thing. And video games, which had hooked him hard, are now played as an afterthought and for hardly any time at all. He now complains to me that all the kids at school want to talk about is Fortnight—a game he’s never played and has no interest in playing. So I’m a believer in the digital detox or break, or in this case, declutter.

Unlike kidlet, I haven’t gone device-free, but I’ve done a number of things over the years to curtail my constant need to check my phone and other things on the internet so that I can focus and get my writing (aka deep work) done. I’m constantly refining my process. So when I heard Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, was coming out with a new book called Digital Minimalism, you know I was pre-ordering that thing as fast I could click. The book released this week, and I’m almost all the way through it. I’ll probably give a more thorough review once I’m done, but it’s already inspired me to try his method of a 30-Day Digital Declutter.

This isn’t a detox per se. It’s more of a swipe the slate clean of all your social media (and other digital distractions that may suck up your time like video games or too much TV streaming), see how you feel for 30 days. And then, after thirty days, scrutinize each app or service carefully to decide whether or not you want to add it back into your life.

I don’t anticipate that I will give up all social media after this. For one, it’s part of my job. However, I am looking forward to breaking my cycle of check, check, checking my phone in the bored moments or when I first wake up. I had already deleted Twitter off of my phone a few months ago and haven’t felt the need to add it back. For this thirty day stretch, I’m deleting Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest off my phone as well. I also won’t be checking these sites on my desktop. No social media. Period.

My plan is to post the graphic at the top of this post on all my social media channels, letting people know why I’m not responding, and then will step fully away for the month. During this time, I plan to continue to blog and send out my newsletter, so I’m not going off the grid, just social media.

I’m interested to see how my attention shifts during the month and how this will all make me feel. Will I have the itch to check? Will I feel calmer because I don’t have to check? Will I feel out of the loop? Will I get more work done? Will I fill that time with something better or something equally as distracting? I love an experiment, so I’m looking forward to finding out!

As always, I’ll report how things went after the month is up (or maybe even along the way). And if anyone is interested in doing something similar, you can check out the details of the Digital Declutter in Digital Minimalism.

UPDATE: After the 30-Day Social Media Ban: What Surprised Me and What I’m Changing and also Training My Brain For Deep Work: Two and Half Years In

Interested in this topic?

Here’s a list of other posts I’ve done about devices and digital distractions:

• A Screen-Free Summer for Kidlet: How, Why, & If I'll Lose My Mind

• The 10-Day Update 

• 5 Week Update on Screen-Free Summer

• The End of Our Screen-Free Summer: Results and Moving Forward

• The After-Effects of Our Device-Free Summer

• Device-Free Summer 2.0: Why We’re Doing This Again

• 7 Things to Reduce Distractions and Increase Focus

• On Productivity and Distraction: Deep Work

• Revisiting Deep Work

• Stop Letting Your Inbox Distract You: Making Rules Work For You

Roni Recommends: No Exit by Taylor Adams

I haven’t been doing a lot of book recommendations lately because it’s RiTA award judging season. That means I have seven books to read and judge in the span of about six weeks, and I’m not allowed to share what they are. So, I’ve been reading, but I haven’t been able to talk about what I’m reading, which is hard! : )

However, I took a break from RITA books this week and picked up one of my recent Book of the Month Club books. I chose No Exit by Taylor Adams because it’s winter, and a thriller set in a snowed in rest stop seemed to be the perfect pick.

This book is billed as a thriller because I think “horror” is not as marketable a word for books these days unless you’re Stephen King. However, I feel like this book is solidly horror. There is no supernatural evil, but if this were made into a movie, it would be a horror movie. It has a lot of the tropes I love in horror. The tough, resourceful, pissed off heroine. The relentless villain. The over the top clashing of the two. The claustrophobic, trapped feeling.

So, before I get to far along in this review, here’s the official description:

A kidnapped little girl locked in a stranger’s van. No help for miles. What would you do?

On her way to Utah to see her dying mother, college student Darby Thorne gets caught in a fierce blizzard in the mountains of Colorado. With the roads impassable, she’s forced to wait out the storm at a remote highway rest stop. Inside are some vending machines, a coffee maker, and four complete strangers. 

Desperate to find a signal to call home, Darby goes back out into the storm . . . and makes a horrifying discovery. In the back of the van parked next to her car, a little girl is locked in an animal crate. 

Who is the child? Why has she been taken? And how can Darby save her?

There is no cell phone reception, no telephone, and no way out. One of her fellow travelers is a kidnapper. But which one? 

Trapped in an increasingly dangerous situation, with a child’s life and her own on the line, Darby must find a way to break the girl out of the van and escape. 

But who can she trust? 

With exquisitely controlled pacing, Taylor Adams diabolically ratchets up the tension with every page. Full of terrifying twists and hairpin turns, No Exit will have you on the edge of your seat and leave you breathless.

There are twists and misdirection in this story, some I saw coming, some I didn’t. But if you’re expecting a super-layered, multiple subplot type thriller, this is not it. It’s not supposed to be. The entire book takes place over the course of about ten hours, and it has a relentless pace. That’s why I think the horror movie analogy is more apt.

I looked at some of the negative reviews on Amazon, and the people who didn’t like it seemed to be people who were looking for a more traditional thriller. Lucky for me, I tend to prefer horror to thriller. The best way I can describe this book is take the claustrophobic, trapped feeling of The Shining (minus the supernatural) and mix it with a villain who just won’t stop like Michael Myers in the Halloween movies, and this is what you get. It requires some suspension of disbelief because it’s over the top. I also laughed a few times because there were moments of dark humor, which I love in this kind of story. And if you’re easily grossed out, maybe pass on this one because it has some brutal parts. But, if you’re a horror movie fan, give this one a try!

Buy the book: Amazon | B&N | Apple | Kobo

My 2018 Five-Star Reads

One of my favorite things about the end of the year is all the Best Of book lists. And this year, it’s been especially fun because I’ve made a few of them!

The Ones Who Got Away was picked as a Best Book of 2018 by Kirkus and Amazon.

The One You Can Forget was selected as a Best Book of 2018 by Publishers Weekly.

So that got my to thinking that it was time to do my own Best Books of 2018 list. As many of you know, I keep a reading journal and record my thoughts about everything I read each year. That makes it easy at the end of they year (and after reading almost 75 books so far) to easily flip back and see which books received a 5-star rating from me.

Now, I will preface this list by saying that I am VERY stingy with my 5-star ratings. Most books I read get about 3 stars (liked it but didn’t love it). I have a decent number of 4-stars (thoroughly enjoyed). But 5-stars are reserved for books that wow me.

Wowing me can mean that the book leaves me in awe of the author’s talent. Wowing can mean that the book pulled real emotion from me and got me deeply attached to the characters. Wowing can mean that a book was addictive like candy and made me want to read everything else the author has written. Wowing can also mean that I’ve learned something fascinating that I will carry with me. But most of all, it usually means that at the end of the year, even with all the reading I’ve done and my crappy memory, these books have stayed with me. I don’t have to remind myself what they were about. They’ve imprinted on my brain.

So, this year, 10 books of the 73 I’ve read have reached that 5-Star status.

Ready to fill up your TBR pile?

My 2018 Five-Star Reads

FICTION

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

Romance-ish/women’s fiction

This one gutted me, y’all. It covers a touchy subject matter that I won’t reveal because spoilers, but if you’re afraid of triggers, google it and you’ll find what you need. This book handled the issue with such a deft hand and worked in a romance as well. After reading this, I wanted to go pick up everything else Colleen had ever written. My original review.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

Contemporary romance

If you haven’t heard of this book, you must be living in a bunker. It’s made a ton of best of lists and the spot is well-deserved. Such a fun, sexy, and sweet romance. My original review.

One Foot In the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

Paranormal Romance

I’ve told y’all that I’m on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer binge lately, and this has brought my old love of vampire romance roaring back from the grave (yeah, I went there.) So when I was looking to start a vampire romance series I missed, I picked up the first book in Jeaniene Frost’s Night Huntress series. It fit the bill perfectly. And though I loved Halfway to the Grave (book one), the second book is the one that got me fully hooked. Lots of action, very steamy, and a couple I can’t get enough of.

Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren

Contemporary Romance

I love a friends-to-lovers story, especially one with a dual timeline that reunites old friends. This book was sweet and fun and just an overall enjoyable experience.

Maybe In Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Romantic Fiction

I’ve professed my love for Reid’s books all over the place, but my favorite of hers I read this year was Maybe In Another Life. The story follows the heroine down two separate timelines based on which decision she makes in one scene early in the book. If she goes home with this guy, this is where her life will go. If she doesn’t, this is where it will go. I loved the structure and loved how it explored the concept of soulmates. Her books always leave me thinking. My original review.

A Messy, Beautiful Life by Sara Jade Alan

YA/Romance

This one deals with some heavy topics, but it was also so delightful. I loved the characters and the author’s voice. If you’re afraid of books with illness in them (like I am), this one gives you a happy ending, so don’t fear.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

General Fiction/Historical (1970s)

This is a gut-wrencher, y’all. But also hopeful. The characters and setting in this book will stick with me for a long time. The writing was beautiful and so immersive. The whole thing had a very epic feel. Trigger warnings for domestic violence. My original review.

NON-FICTION

I’ll Be Gone In the Dark by Michelle McNamara

True Crime

This is a tough read because the crimes were very real. Also, going in, you know the author passed away while finishing this book. But this book was so well-written, interesting, and had such heart to it. Also, it helped find the killer because when McNamara wrote this, the guy was still unknown. She never got to see him caught, but her book had a hand in it. This is true crime writing at its best. My original review.

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

Health

At the heart of the body positive movement and health at every size, this book focuses on diet culture, the myths we’ve been told, and how to combat the negative dieting culture that surrounds us. As someone who’s done all the diets for many decades, this was an eye-opening book. This is not a diet book. It’s a an anti-diet book.

Perennial Seller by Ryan Holiday

Business

This one is probably going to be more a fit for my fellow writers, artists, or other business owners, but Holiday’s focus on putting your best work forward, giving that work the time it needs, and developing perennial sellers was chock full of great tidbits. I marked so many passages in this one that it probably weighs an extra half pound from all the book darts.

That’s my list! A top 10 without even trying for a nice round number like 10 makes me happy. : ) So I’d love to hear from you. What were your 5-star reads this year?

Gifts for the Booklovers In Your Life (Or For You)

It’s that time of year again. That time when you try to decipher your relatives’ brains and figure out what they’d actually want for a holiday gift. This exercise can be downright exhausting. That’s why it’s a big sigh of relief when I get to buy for someone who is a fellow bookworm. Those are my people. I understand those people. In actuality, besides my mom, I have very few book-loving family members in my life. And my mom is a minimalist booklover. Since I bought her a Kindle years ago, she doesn’t need much else besides that and her library card. So I save my bookish gifts for my friends. And well…

Okay, let’s be real, y’all know I end up buying most of these for myself, too. I justify these purchases because for some reason, NO ONE buys me bookish gifts. Besides bookstore gift cards, I can’t remember receiving a bookish gift since childhood. I guess people assume I already have that area covered. And I do because clearly no one else is going to get them for me, lol.

So, in the spirit of buying for the booklovers in your life along with full permission to treat yourself, I’ve pulled together my list of favorite finds for booklovers. Obviously, books are a great gift for a booklover, but in case you’re looking for something in addition to that or some stocking stuffers, these may fit the bill this holiday season.

Roni’s 2018 Gift List for Booklovers

Book darts

Book Darts Line Markers - 125 Count Tin Mixed Metals Bookmarkers

When reading an ebook, you can highlight and save quotes. But what about for the print lover who doesn’t want to mark up their books with highlighters? Enter the book dart. This are tiny, light metal bookmarks that attach to a single page and point to the line or passage you want to go back and reference. I use these all the time. They are so lightweight that they won’t weigh down your book even if you mark a bunch of pages. Then, you can remove them easily when you go back and pull the quotes or reread passages. Or you can leave them in there permanently. You get a lot in a tin, so I have some references books that I keep the book darts in even after I’m done because I know I’ll need to flip through again.

A Book Beau

Book Beau - Book Sleeve Wizardy Print - Mini/Indie/XL/Jumbo Sized Protecting Cover (XL)

This is a new one for me this year, and I’m in love with it. I read a lot of print books and have a big purse for just that reason. But books (and e-readers) can get beat up in a purse or backpack. Enter the book beau. This is a cushioned pocket that keeps your book safe and is super cute to boot. They come in many different sizes, e-reader size up to fat hardback size. And besides the functionality of it, it’s a conversation starter when you pull your book out of such an adorable pouch.

Book-themed T-shirts

Out of Print Underlined Book Nerd Unisex T-Shirt (Black) X-Large

Broadcast your book love for the world to see. My favorite bookish t-shirts lately are from Out of Print. I have the Book Nerd one pictured here and the library card stamp one. You can also get a number of the designs on non-T-shirt things.

A Fancy Bookish Pen

This is one that I definitely bought for myself. I couldn’t resist a pen with the label Literary AF. (There are a few more sayings if that one’s not your style.) Easy, Tiger has fun gifts that aren’t just book-related, so I encourage you to poke around the site. This pen is not cheap but it’s refillable and well-made. It also comes in a super cute giftable box. I also love their bookmarks.

Library Kit

Knock Knock Personal Library Kit (15000)

Tired of people not returning your books when you lend them out? Here’s a kit to lay the guilt on them in the future. ;)

A Proper Journal to Record What They Read

Y’all know I’m a devotee of the reading journal. If you want tips on how to create one, see my post on how I organized mine. My pick for favorite journal, the one I use, is the Leuchtterm medium dot grid hardcover journal. I’ve managed to fit 3 years of reading in one journal (taking up about half a page per book read—and I read a lot.) It’s worth the investment. (And if you want those pens, here’s the link for those.)

As a side note, if you want a reading journal you can print out and that is already organized for you, sign up for my newsletter and get the download in your inbox.

Book Box Subscriptions

Confession: I love getting packages in the mail. If that package is full of books, I’m pretty much at peak Roni happiness. So what better to give to a booklover than a gift that gives books all year long. Not sure which kind to get? Here are some options:

Book of the Month Club

I’ve been a subscriber to Book of the Month club for 2 years now, and I have been really pleased with the service. Each month, they select five books for you to choose from. You pick one and get a beautiful hardback for significantly cheaper than the list price. Plus, you often get books ahead of their wide release, so you can be the first to read it. The selections usually include at least one thriller, one literary pick, sometimes a non-fiction, and often a quirky pick. To my great delight, this year they fixed my one complaint I had about the service—no romance. I was thrilled to see selections like The Kiss Quotient, The Proposal, and One Day in December this year. Yay, romance! So if you want to check it out for yourself or give as a gift, use my link and I think you get your first book free.

Fresh Fiction Box Not To Miss

View fullsize

Just want a big box of romance with maybe a general fiction thrown in every now and then? Then you might want to check out the Fresh Fiction Box Not To Miss. Each month you get a box of physical books and codes for a few ebooks. This is a romance focused box and is often filled with new releases. What I love about this box is that you can sign up for a monthly subscription or you can buy a single box when you’re jonesing for a surprise box of books. I don’t subscribe but I get the one-time box two or three times a year. It’s always fun opening the box and not knowing what I’m going to get.

The Bookworm Box

This box is the brainchild of author Colleen Hoover. Each box comes with a signed book and author swag. The best part? It’s for charity. So you can feel extra great about getting this box. I recently donated over 100 signed books to The Bookworm Box, so even if you don’t want to subscribe to the box but want a signed book from me, proceeds going to charity, grab one here.

Books About Books

What is it about book about books? There’s just something comforting about knowing other booklovers are out there and have things to say. Here are a few options for a few different types of booklovers:

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life

I’d Rather Be Reading by Anne Bogel

This little essay collection by Anne Bogel (of the Modern Mrs. Darcy blog) is a perfect gift for a reader regardless of their genre preferences. Each essay covers a different topic in the reading life, and my guess is every booklover will find things to relate to. For an extra treat, try this one in audio.

Dear Fahrenheit 451: Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks: A Librarian's Love Letters and Breakup Notes to the Books in Her Life

Dear Fahrenheit 451: Love and Heartbreak In the Stacks - A Librarian’s Love Letters and Breakup Notes to the Books in Her Life by Annie Spence

I own this one but haven’t read it yet. I love the concept though—a librarian writing love letters or break up notes to books that have meant something to her. This is another one that fits readers regardless of genre.

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of '80s and '90s Teen Fiction

Paperback Crush by Gabrielle Moss

Are you or a loved one part of The Babysitter’s Club generation? Then this may be the perfect book for you. I read this recently and had such a good time going through it. Beyond being a trip down memory lane to all those books that formed me as a reader, it was interesting to learn about the progression of teen fiction from the seventies through the nineties. And if you get this one, go for the paperback not the ebook because all the photos of book covers are so colorful and enhance the experience. (Also, be warned, you’re going to want to run out to a used bookstores afterward and rummage for some of these old books.)

Paperbacks from Hell: The Twisted History of '70s and '80s Horror Fiction

Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix

Have a horror lover in your life? From the same publisher as Paperback Crush and following a similar format, this book goes through the history of horror fiction in the 70s and 80s. I own this one but haven’t read it yet. I’ve flipped through, though, and am really looking forward to it. Like above, go with the paperback to get the full effect of this book. Also, I’ve read a few of Grady Hendrix’s horror novels so I have no doubt the essays will be worth reading.

Shameless Self-Promotion

You know what makes a great gift? These. :)

That’s my list for this year. Coming soon, I’ll do a post on my 5-Star reads from this year if you would prefer actual books as gifts.

So what bookish gift are you hoping to receive this year? Do you get and/or give a lot of books and bookish gifts for the holidays?

6 Book Recommendations for 6 Different Moods

I can’t believe it’s November already. October went by in a whirlwind. Maybe that was because I was reading reading reading like a maniac. I had set a goal to read two books in October because I knew it was going to be a busy month, but I ended up reading NINE. All in between writing 30k words on my new book, so October was a month of lots of words for me!

But that’s good news for you because that means I have book recommendations. :-) And because I’m working on my Read Wide reading challenge, the recs fall across various genres and are pretty different from each other. So I thought it’d be fun to give recs based on the reading mood you might be in.

Ready? Let’s go!

1. I am overwhelmed, and I need an easy, page-turning read that will not stress me out and will give me the warm and fuzzy romance feeling.

Smooth-Talking Cowboy by Maisey Yates

Maisey’s books are where I go when I need a sure thing, feel-good read. Her characters are likable, the love scenes hot, and the story fun.

2. I’m feeling a little down and I want a sweet read that’s going to make me smile.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

This story of two teen boys falling for each other, one a Mormon, is a sweet, moving story of young love. I adored the fun voice of the main character, and it had the right amount of angst to make you worry for them.

3. I am in a really good place and can handle a beautiful, epic read that’s going to rip my heart out and (kind of) put it back together again. (Or I’m in need of a good, hard cry.)

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

Okay, y’all. ALL the warnings here. If you are in any way feeling down or depressed, don’t pick up this book yet. It’s an emotional wringer. I’m glad I read it on a sunny vacation in Phoenix to offset the heartbreaking story. Having said that, it was a beautiful, amazing story. And the setting of the Alaska in the 1970s was so well drawn that I felt like I was there. It’s one of those books that I’m happy I read but that I couldn’t read again, if that makes sense. It gutted me. The ending is hopeful. I wouldn’t recommend one with a completely tragic ending, but don’t go in looking for an “Ahh” feeling happily ever after. (Also trigger warnings for domestic violence.)

4. I’m looking for something totally different, and I have time to listen to a story during a commute or during chores.

Dead Air by Gwenda Bond, Carrie Ryan, and Rachel Caine

Now for something a little different…Dead Air is on the new platform/app for serial stories Serial Box. The story is told in episodes and has full sound effects and such, so it’s different from a straight up audiobook.

I was curious about the format so I started listening to Dead Air while I was washing dishes and driving. I got hooked after probably two episodes, and that’s saying something because, though I listen to a lot of non-fiction in audio, I have yet to get into fiction audiobooks. This one held my attention. And I didn’t figure out the mystery ahead of time. There’s also a new adult romance mixed into the story. I believe you can try the first episode free if you want to see what it’s like. If you like it, you can buy the whole season for the price of a book.

5. I’m already missing Halloween, and I’m looking for a scary book that will have me peeking out my windows to check that no one’s out there.

The Surviving Girls by Katee Robert

I happened to be reading this book the same week that I saw the new Halloween movie. This book and that movie have a lot in common. It’s about a survivor (or survivors) going up against a human monster that ruined their lives in a tragic way when they were teens. In this case, two women who survived a sorority row slaying are being hunted again by the killer (or are they?) This is a thriller, but it also has a strong horror feel to me. There is a minor romance in it as well.

(This one is free in Kindle Unlimited if that’s your jam.)

6. I’m in the mood to learn something.

Overdressed by Elizabeth L. Cline

I got this in audiobook from my library, and I found it really eye-opening. If you ever wonder why those tops at the store can be sold for five dollars (or wonder if they should be that cheap) and why pretty much any clothing you buy these days falls apart after a few washes, this book will answer those questions. Be warned, it’s one of those topics you can’t “unsee” once you know about it. It’s made me look at clothes shopping through a whole new lens. Also, if you get this in audiobook, the narrator takes a little getting used to.

All right, those are the six picks I have for you today. What have you read lately that you loved? Are you a mood reader?