So I'm officially about a month and a half out from CRASH INTO YOU's release. I can't even tell you how excited I am. My book is finally going to be on shelves! It feels like forever since I signed the deal in October 2010. (Though in some ways, it feels like only yesterday.)
But I have to say one of the other emotions I'm going through is the occasional freak out that -- oh crap, real people are actually going to READ my book. This particular freak out is littered with any number of insecurities. Mainly, what if everyone hates it? What if my agent and editor were just having an off day when they decided they loved my book? What if it only sells twenty copies, the amount my family will probably buy?
Oh, and speaking of family, here comes oh-crap-moment number two--my family and people I know in real life are going to read my erotic romance. Ahh! There are curse words and bondage and sadomasochism and lots of nakedness. Yes, all those things are part of a romance and a suspense plot and a story about healing, but I'm afraid those who know me are only going to focus on the NC-17 stuff.
I know that people in my life understand that this is going to be an erotic romance, but I don't know if they've wrapped their heads around that totally because they've never read in the genre. And it's going to come out of left field for many of them because I'm not the "kind of girl" who you would expect to write a super sexy book. I don't even curse in front of anyone but my closest friends.
But that's simply because I'm a quiet, private person who plays my cards close to the vest. I only fully relax around a few people. So those who aren't in that close circle just make their own assumptions. And boy do people make lots of assumptions about quiet people.
Therefore, this whole experience is going to be interesting in a lot of ways. Not only am I opening up my writing for public opinion but I'm also opening myself up for people to make up all kinds of new assumptions about me--some that may be accurate and many that will be totally false.
But at the end of the day, this is what I signed up for. Regardless of whether you write romance or cozy mysteries or stories about aliens, writing is a deeply personal act that exposes the writer. There's no way around that. Regardless of the plot, your blood is on the page. It's the occupational hazard of good writing.
Hopefully we all survive it, lol.
So how about you? Even though you want to be published, do you fear people reading your words? Do you ever feel exposed in certain parts of your manuscript--a bit of dialogue or emotion that echoes something in your own life? Do you make assumptions about writers based on their books? Do you worry about your family reading your work?
"Revved up and red-hot sexy, CRASH INTO YOU, delivers a riveting romance!" --Lorelei James, NY Times Bestselling author of the ROUGH RIDERS series
CRASH INTO YOU is now available for pre-order!
Read an excerpt here.
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