Building a Slow Burning Romance with Janice Hardy

Today I have a special treat for you guys--kickbutt author and uber blogger, Janie Hardy. If you guys aren't following her writing blog The Other Side of the Story, your're truly missing out. She has some great information over there. And it's all so neatly organized that I'm totally jealous. (*eyes my haphazard tags cloud over in the sidebar*)

So today Janice is going to share tips on building a slow burning romance...

 



A Slow Burning Romance

I ran into a snag when creating the romance in my fantasy adventure trilogy, The Healing Wars. Since entire first book (The Shifter) takes place over three days, there wasn’t much opportunity for romance. Nya, the main character, is eyeballs deep in trouble all the time and really didn’t have time for love. She was too busy trying to keep herself and her friends alive and safe. If I was going to make this work (and I really wanted to for these crazy kids), it had to be a romance that developed over the course of the series. I needed a slow burn, not a quick blaze.

It wasn’t my original plan, but I think this worked well considering the younger ages (15-16) of my characters. I got to play with a lot of fun situations that everyone can relate to. Such as having inopportune thoughts at the worst time, like when Nya notices hottie Danello while he’s pointing a rapier at her. And the awkward moment when Nya realizes she’s wearing old, ripped clothes and might possibly smell (she lives on the street). And the really cute exchanges when Danello clearly doesn’t care about any of that and likes her anyway.

It’s also fun because it never occurs to Nya that a boy actually could like her. Readers can see that Danello is clearly smitten the first time they meet, but it takes Nya a while to figure this out. Danello is also a good enough guy to understand that pushing Nya is only going to make her run away – something she’s exceptionally good at.

If you’re considering a slow-burning romance, here are some things that I did to let this romance evolve over time:

1. Let my love interest earn that love
Nya has had a lot of bad things happen to her in her short life and she doesn’t trust anyone. Danello really had to prove that he wasn’t going to let her down, and that she could count on him no matter what. That gave me lots of opportunities to let him be a hero, even though she’s the star of the book. He’s just a quieter hero. Nya’s hero. Which isn’t easy to be considering how strong a girl she is. But because he tries anyway, he’s even more the hero.

2. Let my girl realize she has people she can count on
Part of Danello’s value is that he helps Nya see that she really does have people in her life that she can trust. His actions often surprise her, and his loyalty gets her to realize she isn’t alone in all this. She has more than just her sister in the harsh world they live in. He doesn’t always agree with her, and is willing to stand up to her, but even that shows her she can depend on him for whatever she needs him for.

3. Let my love interest keep my girl off balance
Nya is the type of girl who immediately judges a situation and acts. Her life depends on making fast decisions. But Danello gets her to question some of those actions, and gets her thinking before jumping in. He really grounds her, and that is something that might save her life.

4. Let my love interest be there for my girl, yet ask for nothing
Everything in Nya’s life has been fleeting. Parents, safety, food, home. There hasn’t been a lot of constants, except that people want things from her. They want to use her for their gain. Except Danello. He just wants to love her. He’s the one safe place she can go to when everything else is in chaos.

These two go through a lot together over the course of three books, but their experiences connect them in a way I don’t think I would have gotten had they hooked up in book one. They got to know each other over time, trust each other, and rely on each other. Their romance got to simmer, not burn, but I think that means this romance will last.


Bio:
Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her fantasy trilogy THE HEALING WARS, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her books include THE SHIFTER, and BLUE FIRE. DARKFALL, the final book of the trilogy, is due out October 4, 2011. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three cats and one very nervous freshwater eel. You can visit her online at www.janicehardy.com, chat with her about writing on her blog, The Other Side of the Story (http://blog.janicehardy.com/), or find her on Twitter @Janice_Hardy.

All content copyright of the author. Please ask permission before re-printing or re-posting. Fair use quotations and links do no require prior consent of the author. ©Roni Loren |Copyright Statement|

The Beta Club: The Tooth Fairy's Assistant (Middle Grade) - Agree with my Crit?

 

 

It's Beta Club Tuesday!  Middle Grade is on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be one of the last Beta Clubs, so give it all you got.  ;)  


 For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below.

 

Author: Penny (you know her as Too Cute to Be Very Interesting)  Visit her here.
Title: The Tooth Fairy's Assistant
Genre: Middle Grade


Excerpt:

            “How much further Dad?”
            “Twenty five miles. Please Owen, stop pestering me. I need to concentrate on my driving.”
            Dad always has to concentrate extra hard on everything. Owen, be quiet, I’m thinking. Owen, settle down, I’m trying to focus. Owen, Owen, Owen. He does look a little more white-knuckled than normal though. Probably all the accidents on the road.
            It’s raining pretty hard, about as hard as it ever does in Washington. Usually it just mists here, like you’re all wrapped up in a cloud, but today it’s pouring. That must be the reason for all the problems they keep reporting on the radio. It’s really weird though, because it seems like we’re just barely ahead of the trouble every time.
….Watch for a jackknifed semi northbound on Route 3 at Finn Hill Road …if you can even get there folks, that twelve car pileup still blocks all traffic west of Silverdale…
We were turning onto a floating bridge now. From up here I saw that down in the middle of the water the bridge split in two. It looked like an hourglass, with a single lane for north and another lane for southbound traffic belling out and away from each other. On the right, the water was really choppy. On the left, it was as smooth as glass. Weird.
“Hey Dad, why would they build the bridge like that?”
“Huh?”
My dad was so focused on the road ten feet in front of him that he hadn’t noticed what was coming. He looked up and gasped. “Oh no you don’t! I see exactly what you’re up to and I won’t have it! Do you hear me? I will not have it!”
“What?”
“Not you Owen! Hang on!” We were almost to the split. Dad cranked the wheel and our car veered into the southbound lane, still headed north.
I may have screamed. I hope not, because I’m almost thirteen years old and screaming like a baby isn’t the coolest thing I can think of, but seriously. My dad has clearly just lost his mind. Or maybe not. He gunned the gas and drove like Jeff Gordon. We must’ve been going a hundred miles an hour, trying to beat the traffic that was about to enter the one-way lane and smoosh us head-on.
Out of the corner of my right eye, I saw a tractor-trailer flash past going the opposite direction. Wait…if we were going the wrong direction on the road and he was driving that way…he was going the wrong way in the lane we’d just been in!
I whipped my head around and watched, horrified, as the big rig smashed into one concrete barrier, then the other, then cartwheeled through the air, spilling its load everywhere. He’d been carrying chickens. Thousands of them flopped all over the roadway and into the water, beaks snapping and feathers flying.
Our car was going so fast that when Dad yanked us back into our own lane I swear we went up on two wheels, because the car slammed down and I bit the inside of my cheek.
“Ow!”
“Are you okay Owen?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I watched the accident scene behind us as we sped away. The feathers swirled in the oddest pattern, almost like a woman’s dress. I blinked and the image went away. A curve in the road made the bridge wink out of sight.
I faced forward, and my stomach turned. We’d be dead right now if it weren’t for my Dad’s quick reflexes. I hadn’t even seen that truck go the wrong direction on the bridge. “Nice driving Dad,” I said weakly.
“Thanks Son.” His hands were completely relaxed on the steering wheel. “We’re out of the woods now. It’ll be smooth sailing the rest of the way to Port Townsend.”
“Do you think?”
“I know.”
When my dad drives, he sits ramrod straight, his nose practically touching the windshield. My mom calls it driving Mormon, whatever that means. Now he eased his seat back a couple of inches. Who was this person? What was next? Was he going to crack open a beer and offer me some? Maybe he’d just let me drive.
“Uh, Dad? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I hate to admit it, but it feels good to be back.”
“Back?”
“Yes Owen, back. I went to school here. I met your mother here. All of us, Uncle Leroy, Aunt Clara, everyone. We all went to Holliday. And I swore that you never would.”

 

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

 
 
Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could be improved? Agree or disagree with my crit?
 

Thanks ahead of time to everyone who comments and to the author for volunteering!

**Today's Theme Song**
"Rescue Me" - Buckcherry
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Beta Club: The Face of a Lion (Middle Grade) - Come Critique!

 



It's Beta Club Day!  On today's agenda, our first middle grade!  So, I hope you'll take the time to take a look and let the author know what you think.

 

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Deniz Bevan (check out her site here!)
Title: The Face of a Lion
Genre: Middle Grade Historical/Time Travel

Excerpt:
 
 

Austin met the cat during his first week in Turkey.
Bored with helping his parents clean their villa, he set out to explore the town. Every few minutes he had to climb onto the stone wall edging the street – there were never any sidewalks in this country – when a car or bus full of tourists whizzed past on the narrow road, a stench of diesel fumes floating behind. As the roar of each vehicle faded, the seaside sounds rushed back into his ears: the drone of motorboats slicing the water, cicadas buzzing in the distant tops of the fir trees, and below everything else, the unending rhythmic crash of waves breaking one after another on the sand.
He waited on the wall as another car zoomed by, then peered through the exhaust and added up the houses he had passed. His mum had said there were forty houses in the original village. Something had to be wrong somewhere, because he had counted every house for the past ten blocks and there were still a few streets to cross before he reached the ice cream shop –
An unearthly howl filled the air, drowning out the disappearing rumble of the car. It came again, a long-drawn out screech, close at hand. Austin ran to the crossroads and looked down into the weed-filled garden of a boarded-up villa. On a patch of paving stones, two kids crouched over the prone figure of a thin grey cat. One gripped its front paws as the other tied a couple of tin cans to its tail. The cat wrenched and jerked its back legs.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
His yell was swallowed by the roar of two buses zooming past behind him, and a truck loaded with watermelons that came clacketing up the street. He looked down, ready to risk a jump, and saw a garden shed directly below. He leaped, and as the boys glanced up, hands still on the squirming cat, he vaulted off the shed's roof to stand beside them.
"What are you up to?" He glared, trying to look as imposing and foreign as possible – easy enough, given the contrast of his blond hair and blue eyes to their own dark features. They looked about eight years old, four years younger than him. They shot each other shifty glances out of the corners of their eyes.
"Abi, yabancı bu. Bizden büyük."
"Ya birini çağırırsa? Hadi gidelim."
It was impossible – but he had understood what they said! They were afraid because he was older – what if he called someone?
He took a step forward, as if to grab the cat. As one, they released their grip, leapt up and ran off.
The cat crouched low on all four paws, eyes wide and ears taut, but did not move as Austin approached. If it would just trust him… With one hand extended, palm out, he waited. Either the cat would sniff the offered fingers or get up and run.
Slowly, slowly, he bent and untied the twine binding the tins to a tail puffed out and crackling with electricity. The cat did not twitch once, even as Austin broke away the last of the metal and tossed it aside, but eyed him the entire time, as if waiting for a signal.
He stroked the cat between the ears and, to his surprise, heard the low rumble of purring. The yellow eyes narrowed and, for a moment, he had the silly idea the cat was actually smiling at him.
"Thank you."
He had been bending forward, petting. He overbalanced and nearly tipped over, palms flat on the tiles to keep from pitching head first into the cat.
Had it actually spoken? He gazed at the shadowy creature, who had stopped purring, but stayed still, yellow eyes fixed on him. Had he really heard –
"Thank you, Augustine."
There it was again! Not meowing or purring, but chirping, like a new species of bird. And under that tone, he could have sworn the cat had spoken in English.
He peered around the garden. No, there was definitely no one else near. He sat and stared back into the unblinking eyes. Far down on the beach, he could still hear the ordinary shouts and laughter of tourists, and the unending whine of cicadas and crash of surf. The smell of fried fish floated up from the restaurants on Ocean Boulevard.
He said the first thing that came into his mind. "My name's not Augustine, it's Austin. After my great-grandfather." He kept his voice low, as though he might be overheard. Silly, talking formally to an animal – the cat wasn’t really talking was it?
But the chirping English came again. "In Latin, your name is Augustine, or Augustus. In Ancient Greek it would be Σεβαστός."
Sebastos. Austin heard the cat's mrrp!, the soft Greek letters, and yet understood the name as if it was in English. "But no one speaks those languages anymore!"
"Perhaps not here, Augustine. Yet I know a number of languages from a variety of places, and times. In return for your kind gesture today, rescuing me from those young hooligans," the cat rested a paw on Austin's knee, "I may be able to do something for you. Not a favour, exactly, but I fancy you're a little bored here?"
"How did you know?"
"You were not walking with a friend and you had time to notice an animal in distress." The cat sat up, so that they were nearly face to face. "I can lead you to an adventure."
"An adventure? Where would we go?"
"Not where but when."



Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.
Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

**Today's Theme Song**
"Time Is On My Side" - Rolling Stones
(player in sidebar, take a listen)
*sorry Deniz, couldn't find your song choices on playlist.com, so had to pick another*