The Single Best Piece of Query Writing Advice I've Ever Heard

 

There is so much writing advice out there, and particularly advice on querying, that you could literally spend forever trying to absorb it all. It can be overwhelming. You've written this entire novel, yet trying to write 2-3 stinking paragraphs about it becomes a seemingly impossible task.

 

I used to beat my head against my keyboard trying to figure out how to do it the right way. (And by the way, this need to write a query never goes away. Even after you're published, you have to write back cover copy and short synopses. So it's a skill that gets used over and over again.)

But then I stumbled upon this simple tip from Agent Kristin Nelson and the dark storm clouds parted. Suddenly, it all made perfect sense. And I haven't stressed about writing that snappy little summary again.

So what did she say?

The query should be about the first third of your book.


That's it. It's not a synopsis of everything that's happened. It's a teaser, it's a back cover style blurb. You give the set up, the main characters, the big conflict, and then a nice juicy foreshadowing/hooky sentence at the end. The purpose of it is to make the agent or editor say--ooh, I need to read these pages to see what happens or where she goes with this.

I'll use my back cover blurb for CRASH INTO YOU as an example:

 

Brynn LeBreck has dedicated herself to helping women in crisis, but she never imagined how personal her work would get, or where it would take her. Her younger sister is missing, suspected to be hiding from cops and criminals alike at a highly secretive BDSM retreat—a place where the elite escape to play out their most extreme sexual fantasies. To find her Brynn must go undercover as a sexual submissive. [<--All this is set up and intro of MC.] Unfortunately, The Ranch is invitation only. And the one Master who can get her in is from the darkest corner of Brynn’s past. [<--And here's your character conflict. This entire paragraph covers what happens in just chapters 1-3, that's it.]

 
Brynn knows what attorney Reid Jamison is like once stripped of his conservative suit and tie [Introducing second main character]. Years ago she left herself vulnerable only to have him crush her heart. Now she needs him again. Back on top. And he’s all too willing to engage. [Deepening their conflict. She doesn't want this, but he does.] But as their primal desires and old wounds are exposed, the sexual games escalate—and so does the danger.  Their hearts aren’t the only things at risk. Someone else is watching, playing by his own rules. And his game could be murder. [This last section is the hook to let you know that some serious stuff is going to happen once these two people enter into Act 2 and start their adventure. I don't tell you anything about the antagonist or why someone is after them. I don't go into why there is so much animosity between Brynn and Reid. I want you to want to read the book to find out.]

 

I hope that break down makes sense. Once you stop worrying about fitting in all that other stuff, the query no longer feels as daunting. Just give them your first act and get out. Save the rest of it for that other dreaded thing--the synopsis. : )

So have you heard this tip before? Have you ever received a simple tip that gave you an ah-ha moment (feel free to share those tips with us!)? What has helped you with your query writing?

 

 

"Revved up and red-hot sexy, CRASH INTO YOU, delivers a riveting romance!" --Lorelei James, NY Times Bestselling author of the ROUGH RIDERS series

 

CRASH INTO YOU is now available for pre-order!

Read an excerpt here.


All content copyright of the author. Please ask permission before re-printing or re-posting. Fair use quotations and links do no require prior consent of the author. ©Roni Loren 2009-2011 |Copyright Statement|

 

Query Writing: How Brief is Brief?

 

More Briefs

More Briefs by Alberto Alonso G

 

I've never been known for brevity. If you read this blog regularly, you know that I almost always break that "keep you blog posts under 500 words" rule. Pfft! Five-hundred words? I laugh in the face of that rule.

However, where the lack of brevity can really kill you is in that query letter. I recently posted about the Reasons Agents Gonged Queries at the writer's conference I attended, and by far, the biggest reason people got gonged is because they went on TOO LONG and tried to include TOO MUCH. The query is not a synopsis. It is a hook and a catchy paragraph to make the agent or publisher want to flip to the manuscript.

In essence, it is a back cover copy or a blurb for your manuscript. Pick up any book you have, that stuff on the back has one purpose--to make you want to buy and read the book. It is a marketing tool. And that's what you need to keep in mind when you query. You are SELLING your book, not explaining every person, plot line, subplot, theme, etc. Pick the things that are most important and hooky in your story and focus on that.

I thought I was pretty decent at this whole query writing thing. Every novel I've queried (even the REALLY bad one) got a good number of full requests. However, when I got my draft of my back cover copy this week, it was glaringly obvious that I could've made my query a lot shorter with a lot more punch. So I'm going to use mine as the example.

The summary section of my original query:
Since her mother’s murder, social worker Brynn LeBreck has dedicated her career to helping women in crisis. But when Brynn’s sister goes missing and is rumored to be at The Ranch, a secretive BDSM retreat for Dallas’ elite, Brynn must tackle her own traumatic past and go undercover as a sexual submissive to find her.  Unfortunately, she can’t get an invitation to the exclusive resort without the help of the one guy she never wanted to share air with again—Reid Jamison, the lawyer who recently defended her mother’s killer and the man who, ten years earlier, opened her heart and shredded her defenses, only to crush her trust when she was most vulnerable.

 

After a failed marriage and a crippling defeat in the LeBreck case, Reid needs a fresh start.  The first steps—move out of his family’s high-profile practice and construct his client’s appeal. But when he discovers he’ll be sharing an office with the woman he’s never been able to shake from his bones, the one who taught him how to embrace his dominant nature in the first place, the fresh start gains new meaning.  Being near Brynn stirs up the primal desires he hasn’t indulged in years, and he’s not going to let her “I-loathe-you” attitude stand in the way when he finds out she’s in search of a master. Only one man will get the privilege of calling her his, and that man is going to be him. 
The two can't find a future without facing the demons of the past, however, and some of those demons want to make sure Brynn and Reid are never together—even if it means one of them may not make it through their erotic weekend alive. 

 

 

See how long that is? It worked for me, but look at the difference between that and what we've come up with for the back cover copy...

CRASH INTO YOU back cover copy:

 
Sometimes the past can bring you to your knees...

Brynn LeBreck has dedicated herself to helping women in crisis, but she never imagined how personal her work would get, or where it would take her. Her younger sister is missing, suspected to be hiding from cops and criminals alike at a highly secretive BDSM retreat—a place where the elite escape to play out their most extreme sexual fantasies. There’s only one way to find her: go undercover as a sexual submissive. Unfortunately, The Ranch is invitation only. And the only Master who can get her in is from the darkest corner of Brynn’s past.

 
Only Brynn knows what attorney Reid Jamison is like once stripped of his conservative suit and tie. Years ago she left herself vulnerable only to have him crush her heart. Now she needs him again. Back on top. And he’s all too willing to engage. But as their primal desires and old wounds are exposed, the sexual games escalate—and so does the danger.  Their hearts aren’t the only things at risk. Someone else is watching, playing by his own rules. And his game could be murder.


Here's what I see as the differences:

 

1. Significantly shorter

2. Focuses on the two major plot threads
There is a romance between old lovers and there's a murderer out there. (romance and suspense, done.)

3. Backstory, just like in the book, doesn't have to be fleshed out in the query.
No mention of my MC's traumatic past, which is vital to the story, but not necessarily to the summary. No mention of my hero's backstory--his failed marriage, his job troubles, etc. We don't need to know that to want to read the book.

4. The hook is clear
Woman is in danger and has to find her sister, but the only way to do it is to give up control to the only guy who ever broke her heart.

5. Makes you want to read more (hopefully!) 
Neither my query or the cover copy tells you what happens, or who the villain is, or why someone wants someone dead. That's synopsis stuff. The query should leave you with the urge to find out what happens next. It's the appetizer.

QUERY HOMEWORK: So when you start to craft your query, go to the store or your bookshelves and pick out ten or so books in your genre and read the back cover copy. It should be books you've already read so that you can see what was included and WHAT WAS LEFT OUT. Train yourself to recognize what are the most important points in your story and what is vital to include in your query. And focus on hooking, not just explaining.

So what do you think? Do you struggle with brevity like I do? Does my back cover copy do a better job at hooking you than the query? Why or why not? Pick up a few of you favorite books, what are surprised was left out in the back cover copy?


AND A QUICK PSA for an AMAZING opportunity...


Author Ashely March is offering a FULL critique to an aspiring romance author! But you must enter by noon MST today. Go! Hurry! Full crit by a pubbed author people!


Face Off Friday: Should You Query a First Novel?*

 Today I'm asking one of the more hotly debated questions in the writing blogosphere - should you put your "baby" (first novel) in a drawer for a while or should you send it out to the world once you're done editing? Some say that you should not query your first book until you've written a second.

(It's too soon if) It's your first novel. No matter how hard it is to hear and follow this advice, it's probably the best advice I'll ever offer: write a second novel before you query on the first one. You'll learn so much while writing that second novel that you'll go back and either revise or discard Novel #1. AND you won't have all the baggage from those damn form rejections to weigh you down --agent Janet Reid
Others argue that it's silly to do that, some first novels get published. You've done all that work, so go for it. So, I thought this would make a great debate for a Face Off Friday.
I have to say that in my case, I queried my first novel too soon. It was before I was blogging, before I had quality beta readers, before I knew what the heck I was doing. (Although, I thought I did.) I had three biggie agents request fulls, which were eventually met with rejections (albeit one was personalized and encouraging.)  After I received these a few months after querying, I already knew that my book needed work. Since querying, I had learned so much. I now want to smack myself in the head that I jumped too soon on sending out those letters.
I've since parked that YA under the bed with plans to completely rewrite it one day. And, thankfully, my second novel turned out much better (at least based on publisher interest and contest wins.)
But patience is my least favorite virtue and is often my downfall. So I understand when others want to do the same as I did. And perhaps they will have better luck than me. But here are some points to consider:
Querying Now vs. Later

In defense of immediate gratification...

  • You've worked really hard on your novel and the thought of not seeing what it could do out there is driving you crazy
  • Some first novels sell
  • You've revised the book ten ways til Sunday so it's not "technically" your first effort
  • Publishing follows trends and your vampire/fairy/angel/werewolf book may not be "in" if you wait too long
  • You can't focus on a second book unless you know if this one is going anywhere
  • Your family has been hearing about your writing this book, now they keep asking you about the results
  • You love this book and can't bear the thought of tucking it away for a while

For love of patience...
  • If you write a second, you will have learned so much more that you will look back and see the flaws in your first effort that you missed the first time
  • It's already too hard to keep up with trends since publishing is a slow process, so you have to take comfort in that if it's a great book, it will still be great in six months
  • You'll have time to detach yourself from the first book and have a more unbiased opinion later
  • You won't burn bridges with agents
  • If one book sells, you'll be able to tell the agent you have something else already finished and ready to go as well
Alright, so I'm picturing myself reading this a year and half ago. I would have read the points for patience and been like, yeah BUT BUT BUT... and figured out all the ways that this did not apply to me.

So, I know that some of you are probably doing the same thing. Therefore, I'll include a little checklist to look over if you want to query your first novel and know that you're not going to be able to wait until you finish a second.

If you can't wait, make sure...

  • You have read writing books, blogs, etc. on a regular basis.
  • Each important character has a clear internal and external Goal, Motivation, and Conflict. And by clear, I mean you do not have to explain it to others who have read your book.
  • Your novel is high concept (if that's what you're going for) so you can boil the plot down to a sentence.
  • Your opening chapter hooks the reader and is not loaded down with backstory.
  • You are able to write a 1-2 page synopsis. If you can't, there may be a problem in the book (according to Janet Reid).
  • Your novel has been read by at least three beta readers/crit buddies who are NOT your personal friends or family members. You need people who are writers themselves, have knowledge of the craft, and aren't afraid to be honest.
  • Even if you're not writing a second novel yet, let the manuscript stew for at least a month to gain some distance from it.

Alright, so that's my take on it. The links I included are former posts on all these issues. Feel free to disagree as always.

So what's your opinion? Should you follow the path of patience or jump into the shark tank? For those of you who have more than one novel under your belt, how do you see your first novel now? And has anyone out there had success with first novel querying?

**This is a revised reposting of an Oct. 2009 post.  My kiddo is sick and I'm running on two hours sleep, so I didn't think I could be coherent enough today to come up with the post I had planned.  However, I look forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on this issue.**

 
**Today's Theme Song**
"Patience" - Guns 'N Roses
(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)