Self-Care Tip: Why I'm Going Old School for News

Earlier this week, I retweeted an article I wrote last year about the Highly Sensitive (HSP) personality type and how it’s important to practice self-care, particularly when there is a tragedy being reported in the news. This week the horrible and tragic situation in Vegas brought this to mind again because in our 24-hour news culture, it has become the norm to replay traumatizing videos over and over again and to dissect every small piece of it and to interview victims who are still bloody, in shock, and processing the event themselves about all the gory details.

Seeing the videos and interviews is disturbing to everyone because the whole thing is awful and tragic and terrifying, but to some of us, it can feel like more because we can’t dial down the empathy or separate ourselves from the intense emotion of it all. Seeing it over and over can send us into a spiral of imagining the victims’ pain, picturing horrible things, thinking about what their families are going through, and feeling deeply anxious or distressed. It’s a bad and unhealthy cycle to get caught up in.  

Whether you want to label it “highly sensitive” or not, I’ve known this about myself for a long time. I’ve always had an intense empathy response. It was what led me to become a social worker and therapist. I wanted to help people. It’s also what made me realize social work might kill me because I couldn’t mentally leave things at the office. I worked with kids and the stresses and problems they were having went home with me each night. It takes a special person to be a social worker, nurse, doctor, first responder, etc. It takes someone who can separate emotions out in order to do their job effectively. I realized I wasn’t the right fit for it. 

But I’ve learned that this quality is also what makes watching the barrage of daily breaking news so difficult and stressful. I want to know what is happening in the world so that I’m informed and can take action when and how it’s needed (I still have that desire to help), but I don’t gain any additional information by seeing these traumatic things running all day long over and over again. Plus, outside of being sensitive or not, I don’t see how it helps victims to stick a camera in their face an hour after the scariest and most devastating moment of their lives to interview them about what it was like to see people killed around them. How does that help anyone to do that?

This is obviously just my opinion, but that “breaking news” dissection of every event, not to mention the constant yelling over issues on the national news stations (regardless of political leanings) has turned me away from news pretty much completely. I watch my local affiliate at night for the weather and that’s about it. The morning news show I watched for most of my adult life is no longer watched. And frankly, Twitter has become much of the same for me. I used to spend time there to socialize during writing breaks (and I'd get news that way), but now I only pop in and out to respond to people and announce book/blog info because otherwise, there’s so much anger and arguing that it's often a stressful place to be. I’m not saying the anger isn’t justified, but I can't invite that into my day every day. I’ve had to step back from all of it because otherwise I would just spend my day anxious, depressed, or pissed off and get nothing else done.

However, I still want to be an informed person and citizen. Total avoidance swings too far in the other direction. Sticking my head in the sand and ignoring everything doesn’t help either. So this week, a possible solution hit me: ingest the information in a different, calmer, more controlled way. The old school way. For the first time in my life, I subscribed to . . . a newspaper. Yes, the paper kind delivered on your front doorstep. They still do those. Shocking, I know. But after researching, I realized that it could offer a good solution to my dilemma.

Benefits to the newspaper over TV/internet:

• There are no looping videos like TV and the internet that show traumatizing content.
• There is no need to constantly repeat the same stories or obsess over every minute detail as “breaking news” to fill 24-hours of airtime (on the contrary, there is limited space so only the most important stories make it in.)
• There is no scrolling news ticker at the bottom or competing videos in the sidebar, which help create information overload and that anxious feeling.
• A newspaper will have some local, in depth coverage so that I know what’s going on in my city and state.
• In addition, a newspaper will cover other important stories you're not hearing about on TV because one big headline tends to dominate TV news for days at a time. There's a whole world of news going on out there (nationally and internationally) that gets lost in the noise.
• Positive stories are included as well (which seems to be becoming more rare on TV, though my local news does try to highlight at least one positive story each night.)
• Fact-checked news that hopefully covers stories from both sides. (I researched which newspapers were the most even-handed because even though I lean strongly one way, I think it’s important to get opinions from all sides.)
• Bonus—there is no comments section to raise your blood pressure and no pundits yelling at each other! I can read, process, and develop my own opinion without all the racket.

There are more benefits (paying to support writers, getting local restaurant/event information, movie reviews, etc.) but those in the list are pretty huge in my book.

I’ve also decided to try out a few magazines since I also like in depth dives into different topics. I’ve subscribed to The New Yorker, National Geographic, and Scientific American.

Yes, it’s retro and Luddite of me maybe, but sometimes the old way of doing things isn’t always the inferior way. For those who need to step back for their own emotional well-being or simply those who want information without the barrage of noise and repetitiveness, I think this could be a solid answer. I just started my subscription and am going to get the weekend editions, so I’ll report back how it goes.

Is anyone else in the same boat with the 24-hours news culture? Anyone still subscribe to a newspaper or magazines?

Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): It's Okay to Step Away from the News

Today I'm doing a bit of a one off. I know that I usually reserve this space to talk about books, planners, and other fun stuff. But with all the tragedy in the news lately, this has been on my mind, and I thought I'd share. 

When something horrible and tragic happens in the world--the Orlando mass-shooting, the explosions in Turkey, etc.--the news and the internet are going to be filled with talk of it. Reports, stories from families and survivors, and, when it comes to the internet, opinions and arguments about those opinions. These are all important. And everyone needs to know what's happening in the world so that we can help to change it. We can't be ignorant to things.

However, at the same time, we have to be aware of our own mental state and how it's affecting us. I've seen some things come across social media where people express the sentiment of, "I can't believe people are talking about silly TV shows or what book they're reading when *insert tragedy* happened this week." Now this hasn't been directed at me, but I've seen it scroll through my feeds. And I get it. I understand why it feels like EVERYONE should be talking about it. And many people process tragic event like that. They NEED to talk about it and feel like they are taking action. My husband is that way. He wants to see ALL the news stories and know every detail of what's going on. That's a totally valid reaction and doesn't make him less caring. It's just his way of processing things. He can effectively compartmentalize his feelings and emotions about it. But there are others who quite literally can't handle it. I know that because I'm one of them.

There's a term called Highly Sensitive People (HSP) or Highly Empathetic People. It sounds a little silly. Like, "Oh, she's SO sensitive." But it's a real thing. It's estimated that 15-20% of people fall into this category, and there are some important ways that HSP process things that make it necessary to protect themselves in certain ways.

So what does it mean to be a highly sensitive person? You can take a self test here on Dr. Elaine Aron's site, but here are a few highlights:

1. You feel the emotions of others. Not sympathize. Actually feel what they're feeling. Their mood affects yours. You can sense negativity like it's a physical thing.

2. You're overwhelmed by too much sensory input (loud noises, crowds, strong smells, people arguing, too much of anything.)

3. You need alone time.

4. You avoid violent images in movies/TV/on the news.

Also many times, these are people with a rich inner life and a lot of creativity. If you want more info, here are two good articles:

12 Signs You're a Highly Sensitive Person on Introvert, Dear

22 Signs You're a Highly Sensitive Person on Live Bold & Bloom

I've known this about myself for a while. I think it's what drew me writing in the first place. Empathy means being able to step into someone else's skin and feel what they're feeling. I made a job out of creating characters and walking in their shoes.

But I also think it's what led me to be a social worker. I wanted to help. I empathized and wanted to make things better for others. However, I think it was also what led me away from that career, too. I felt TOO MUCH. When I was working as a Birthmother Counselor at an adoption agency, I would go home physically sick with all the emotion some days. Because even though adoption is a beautiful thing, there was a birthmother who was usually in a bad situation who was giving her child to another family. That was never an easy decision. Ever. And I was the person who would be there to facilitate the adoption. I was the one to counsel the mom. Even when I knew it was the best decision for the mother and baby, it was still sad each time. On the flip side, when a mom changed her mind at the hospital, which often happened, I then felt all the emotion of the adoptive parents who were dealt another loss. It was too much. I wasn't "tough" enough for that not to leave marks on me at the end of the day.

So, what's my point? I do have one! Ha. :) This is how tragic news is for me or other highly sensitive people. I pay attention to what's going on in the world, but I can't repeatedly watch news about it or read articles about it or talk about it. Yesterday, there was a video going around of celebrities reading the stories of the victims of the Orlando shooting. I clicked on it because their stories deserve to be heard. But five minutes in, I was crying and feeling sick and thinking about what their families and friends must be feeling and I had to turn it off. It's not just sad for me, it's traumatizing. And I have to learn to step away when it feels like that. And that's okay.

So that's why I'm blogging about this. If you feel like you fall into this category and are highly sensitive, here are some things you can do:

1. Pay attention to how you're feeling and how your emotions/mood are being affected. - Sometimes it's easy to get swept up and then you can't figure out why you're feeling so down or stressed or angry.

2. Practice self-care - Just because others want to talk about it or it's all over the internet doesn't mean you're obligated to engage. It's okay to step away or do other things to distract yourself.

3. Let go of the guilt - Not watching the news or reading every article about something does not mean you don't care about it. 

4. Take action in ways that work for you - Vote in ways that support your beliefs on the situation, donate to the cause, do something kind for someone.

5. Give yourself a break - read a book, watch a movie, play with your kids or pets, refill the well inside you

I'm sure there are other things, but hopefully that will get you started. I have to remind myself of these often because I can get swept up in it, too. And we're no use to anyone if we're a crying, weeping, stressed out mess. :) And if you don't fall into this category, be aware that other people do and be accepting of that. Everyone has to handle things in the way that works for them. 

So any other HSPs out there? Have you ever felt any of these things? Are you able to watch the news or do you have to step away?