Creating Your Personal Commandments (Plus, I'm sharing mine!)

If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know that I love a self-improvement book. I feel like life is an ongoing science experiment, and there are always ways to tweak or improve things. And one of my go to experts in the self-improvement space is Gretchen Rubin. I’ve loved her books The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, and Better than Before, and I’m a regular listener to her podcast.

So when she announced that she would be having a year long Happiness Project course (no link because enrollment is closed), I was excited to sign up. Each month she tackles one area/topic, and there are assignments to do. In January, one of the assignments was to come up with your personal commandments. I can’t remember which of her books she tackled this in, but I think it was The Happiness Project.

The basic premise is that as we go through life, we learn certain truths about ourselves. We learn what works for us and what doesn’t. We make mistakes and have victories and gain insight from both. But often, we just kind of let those truths hover in the background, often not even recognizing them. However, Gretchen Rubin has an exercise that brings those truths to the forefront—the personal commandments.

Your personal commandments are those truths you’ve learned about yourself that make your life better if you stick to them. She suggest making a list of them because it helps remind you what you should do. This can be a really helpful list to have on hand when you’re feeling chaotic or like you’ve gotten off track. It can also help if you’re having trouble making a decision. These commandments can serve as easy-to-remember life mottos personalized to you.

I did the exercise last month, and I’m finding it really helpful. I printed out my list and have tucked it into my planner so that each week, I’m prompted to review them. Even after just a month, most of them are already ingrained in my brain now.

So, if you want to see what the personal commandments can look like, I’m sharing mine today. I encourage you to come up with your own because it’s been surprisingly helpful to have these on hand. Some of mine might apply to you as well, but I suggest you dig deep and look at what works best for your personality. What works best for me may not be a fit for you. What has history taught you? What lessons have you learned? What do you already know about yourself? Start there.

But first, here are mine…

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My Personal Commandments

1. Be Prepared

No, I’m not a Boy Scout, but this is one I’ve learned time and again. I get anxious when I’m not prepared. I could probably change this to Be Over-Prepared, and it would be more accurate. I function best when I’ve taken my time to prepare for something. I’ve mapped out directions (and printed them in case the GPS freezes up). I’ve made notes to refer to for a presentation in case the power point projector at the venue doesn’t work (something that’s happened before.) I bring snacks if there’s a chance I could get delayed somewhere. I am not a spontaneous, on-the-fly person. That is a personal truth I’ve learned and accepted.

2. Take time to think

This is one that has been a huge revelation in my writing life over the past year or two (one I discovered taking Becca Syme’s classes). I took the Strengthsfinder test, and one of my top 5 strengths is called Intellection. It means I like to think A LOT, and I need to have time to think. This is true in all aspects of my life, but is particularly important in my writing because when I rush the thinking (by charging ahead and trying to hit a word count), I end up hitting a block or going in the wrong direction. Thinking time needs to count as work time for me. If I hit a point in the story where I’m not sure what happens next or something feels off, I need to give myself time and space to think on it without feeling guilty for not getting words on the page. I used this method writing the last book and hit no writer’s block for the first time in at least ten books. A revelation!

3. Input Input Input

This is another discovery from the Strengthsfinder test. My number 2 strength is called Input, which means I need to take in a TON of information in order to be happy and creative. So if I get too busy and stop reading, watching interesting TV shows, reading articles, and learning things, I get stuck creatively. The tank is empty, and I get stressed and overwhelmed. So this commandment is to remind me that taking in all that information is a vital part of the creative process for me. It does not mean I’m wasting time or slacking.

4. Achievement is the reward

In the past, I’ve never been able to figure out why I wasn’t motivated by a reward structure. I’d hear writers say “If I write this many words this week, I get to go shopping at X place or I’ll treat myself to a nice dinner.” That doesn’t work for me at all. It doesn’t motivate me. However, I’m motivated by writing my word count on a wall calendar. What the hell is that about? Well, I’ve figured out that the achievement is the reward for me. I didn’t get straight As as a kid because my parents gave me money for a good report card. I got the As because I wanted the As. That was the reward. Knowing this about myself helps me structure my goal-setting in more effective ways. For instance, I’m using Sarra Cannon’s kanban board method for 90-day planning, and I’m super motivated by moving a sticky note from the To Do section to the Done section. That’s the reward for me. It’s working.

5. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no

I didn’t make up this saying, but I’ve been using it as a mental go-to for a couple of years now. At one point, I had it on a sticky note stuck to my monitor because I’d found myself saying yes to too many things. And saying yes to the wrong things means saying no to the things I actually want/need to be doing. It leads to overwhelm and takes away focus from my important goals and life stuff. If I say yes to traveling to every writer or reader conference or book signing, I’m saying no to my writing time and time with my family. So I’ve become super selective about the things I say yes to. I just got back from a signing with Nora Roberts at her bookstore in Maryland. That was a hell yes! But I’ve said no to many things in between because I just can’t do them all and still accomplish what I want to accomplish.

6. Honor the cycles

Over time, we all find patterns and cycles in our lives. For me, this simply means to be aware that there are cycles and to work with that. Monthly cycles, seasonal cycles, business cycles, etc. For instance, I’ve learned the months I get the most work done and the ones that inevitably are difficult, so I plan accordingly now. I almost always get sick some time in December or January. It’s a pattern I need to be aware of because that means I’ll need a week off somewhere in that zone.

7. Take vitamins

This one is self-explanatory, but as someone who has suffered with a Vitamin D deficiency, I need to keep this on my radar always.

8. Movement makes me feel better

I am not a person who loves exercise. This has been a lifelong battle. When I was a kid, I played three sports. I got exercise without knowing it. But since then, it’s been a struggle. However, I like yoga and I feel better when I’m doing it consistently. But man, can I find one hundred other things to do instead. So this commandment is to remind me of the outcome. If I do yoga, I have less muscle aches and feel stronger. I want to feel that way, so I try to use this as motivation to roll out that yoga mat.

9. Trust my instincts

I’ve learned that I’m a pretty intuitive person. When I go against my gut instinct, it usually doesn’t go well. So this is a simple one to remind me to trust myself, my instincts, and my impressions of people.

10. Start small but START

This is my anti-procrastination commandment. I’ve learned that once I start, even the tiniest step, I’m over the biggest hurdle in getting going. (Oh, inertia.) For instance, if I’m dithering and need to be writing, if I just open the doc and put on my writing music, I’m probably going to start writing. If I lay out my yoga mat, I’m going to do yoga. So if I’m dragging my feet with something and know I need to get started, I’ll just tell myself, “Just do this one little thing. That’s all you need to do right now.” And it’s a mental trick. I’m not committing to “writing the next chapter”, I’m just committing to “opening the document and turning on the music.” I used it today to start writing this blog post. I was feeling lazy, so I told myself just to open the doc and type up the headings.

11. Outer order = Inner calm

This is lifted directly from the title of Gretchen Rubin’s next book, but it fits for me. I am more calm if my desk is organized and my house is clean. If I’m feeling scattered, I know that if I organize or clean up some things, it will help calm me.

12. Shopping = avoidance

This isn’t always the case, but if I find myself shopping online, it often means I’m avoiding something. I’m not a clothes shopper, but books, planner supplies, online classes, etc. are my go to shopping drug of choice. So if Amazon packages start showing up every day, it probably means I’m procrastinating on some difficult project or am stuck in my writing. I made this a commandment so that I can catch myself when I’m in that loop.

13. Don’t let yourself get too hungry

When I’m too hungry, I make bad food choices. My self-control goes out the window. I also get hangry and am not pleasant to be around. So this commandment is for my health but also the safety of those around me. ;)

14. You’re usually happy you went

This is one I need to repeat to myself often. If left to my own devices, I’d be a hermit. I like being home. My introverted self is happy not going out and socializing. Also, I get anxious anticipating an event, particularly if it involves travel and being “author me" (which requires a lot of extroverting.) That often makes me not want to go. However, I’ve learned that most of the time, once I go to these things, I have a great time and am happy I went. If I’d let my introverted self have its way, I’d have missed out on some pretty amazing life events and memories. For instance, this past weekend with the book signing at Turn the Page with Nora Roberts, I had to use this commandment. Before the trip, I was stressed out about the weather (southerners don’t know how to drive/deal with snow and single digit temperatures). I was stressed out about travel. I was nervous to meet Nora. However, I kept reminding myself “you’re usually happy you went”. Sure enough, I’m SO thrilled I went, met some great people, and now I have memories that I’ll hold onto for a lifetime.

Me trying to look totally calm with Nora Roberts

My signing buddies authors Lucy Score and Darynda Jones

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So those are my commandments. I’ll continue to tweak, add, and edit them, but I’ve found that putting these to paper has been enormously helpful. I highly recommend giving this exercise a try and making your own list!

Do you have any personal commandments? Do any of mine fit for you? What would be some of your commandments? I’d love to hear some of yours!

Self-Care Necessities: Little Happy Things (+ Three of Mine This Summer)

The world can seem like a very dark place sometimes, and I know that most of us have been feeling the weight of that for a while. That's not to say the world hasn't gone through dark times before, but I think now that we're exposed to fast-flowing news and social media nonstop, it's sometimes hard to see out of it and find some light.

But finding that light and a few little happy things is often vital, especially if you're a highly empathetic person or someone prone to depression and anxiety. So first, remember to take care of yourself. Second, don't feel guilty for doing so. Third, don't let anyone shame you for not wanting to be immersed in the negative stuff all the time. Do what you can to stay informed and help the causes and people you care about, but also realize that you're no good to anyone if doing so is causing your own mental or physical health to suffer.

I've talked about this before, so I won't go too deeply into it, but I just wanted to put that reminder out there. It's one I need to give myself pretty often too. And one of the things I've found helpful for me is to find some little happy things that make me smile. This is one reason why I'm a romance reader and writer. We need to read those happy endings to remind ourselves they're possible. So first on my list is obvious.

1. Read books that make you feel good.

For me that's usually romance and YA. For you, it may be books that make you cry but are cathartic. Or it may be books that engage your mind in a mystery. You do you. But for me, there's often no better way to cheer myself up than to get lost in a great book. If you need a recommendation, I read Christina Lauren's Love and Other Words recently and loved it so hard. It just left a big ol' smile on my face. (If you like my books, I think it has a similar emotional feel to the kind of stories I write, if that helps.)

2. Upbeat music that gets you singing or dancing along

If I've had a rough day or am feeling blue, the quickest way to turn it around for me is to switch on my favorite playlist when I start cooking dinner and sing/dance alone while I cook. It's a great way to shake off the day and transition into relaxed family time. I know music is super personal, so suggesting something that everyone will like is impossible. However, I can tell you that after my family saw The Struts open for the Foo Fighters a couple of weeks ago, we have been OBSESSED. Opening bands rarely capture my attention, but The Struts grabbed mine right from the start. The lead singer is a great showman and reminds me a lot of Freddie Mercury, and the songs are just so catchy and fun to sing. I highly recommend checking out their full playlist but here's a taste. I apologize ahead of time for the earworm. Every one of their songs is an earworm. I think I've been singing "Put Your Money on Me" for a month straight.

3. Spending time with those you love with no news on TV in the background and without checking your phone.

I've talked about how we're doing device-free summer again, and that always gets us playing board games. Sometimes I'm feeling like--ugh, I so don't feel like playing a game right now--but once we start, my competitive side kicks in and before I know it, we're all having fun. We had quite a game of Upwords the other night where hubs trash talked me and then lived to regret it when I beat him badly in the game, lol. We also had a lot of fun last weekend playing ping pong. Those unplugged things sometimes take some effort to start, but they really do feel good once you're doing them.  

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So those are just a few of mine. Not everyone's little happy things are going to be the same. A little happy thing for me is decorating my planner or writing in my reading journal. They seem like silly things but work for me. You need to find those things that let you take a deep breath and restore some balance. So go ahead, have a little fun, and don't feel bad about it. It doesn't mean you're ignoring the problems in the world. It just means that you're making sure you're not on the airplane putting everyone else's mask on first and then collapsing in the aisle because you forgot you needed to breathe too.

Self-Care In Stressful Times for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

This isn't about books, but it's a post I've been thinking about for a while. Right now, we are in a highly stressful time in our country (regardless of what side you fall on.) Things feel unsettled. Things we took for granted are getting upended. Every day we get online and there are new stress bombs exploding all over the place. Almost everyone I know is feeling overwhelmed and bombarded.

And how we react to that stress and process it can be very different. Some people are soothed by jumping into the fray, knowing every single thing that's going on so they can stay on top of it, debating their points in a public forum. That is an absolutely valid way to tackle things and we need people who can do that. However, there is also a group of people who will get destroyed emotionally if they spend too much time in the mix.

I realized a few years ago that I fall into a personality type that's been labeled the Highly Sensitive Person. There are a number of traits and you can take a quiz here from Dr. Elaine Aron, the psychologist who developed the model. Some traits are sensitivity to loud noises, chaotic environment, and violence movies/TV, etc. But it also can mean you have very high empathy and sensitivity to people's moods/feelings, which can be a good thing but can also make you feel completely torn apart if you're not careful with what you expose yourself to. Being this way was probably what drew me to become a therapist in the first place, BUT it's also the thing that made me leave that profession because I couldn't leave work at work. I carried the emotions of my clients (children, in my case) home with me every night. It was too much. I think it's also why I was drawn to romance novels in the first place. Some people think happy endings are trite. I think they're life-affirming and soothing. I can read tragic books, but I have to prepare for them and know what I'm getting into. I also can only handle maybe 1 or 2 tragic books a year because I feel a bit traumatized by them.

And I've found that with the current state of our world, this HSP (highly sensitive person) part of my personality has been activated in full. When I go on Twitter and see all the news stories of the day or people arguing their points, I want to crawl under my desk. I know I need to stay in the know with what's going on and take action in ways that are important, but I've accepted that I have to do that in my own way. I have to limit my exposure to everything because otherwise, it takes me down an unhealthy road. Self-care is not optional if I want to continue to do my job, be a wife, be a mom, etc.

So, basically, the point of this post is that if you find that you're feeling beat up emotionally, are completely distracted, are dragging the weight of the world with you everywhere, or feeling constantly anxious or sad, DO NOT berate yourself for needing to check out for a while to take care of yourself. Recharge. Talk to a professional counselor if you need to. Do the things that make you happy. Spend quality time with your loved ones. Do the things that bring you peace in some way. It doesn't mean you don't care about what's happening in the world, it just means that you're the type of person who needs to limit your exposure to it in order to be the best version of yourself that you can be. It's not a fault, it's alternative wiring.

So I thought I'd put together some tips on how to go about this and what's been working for me.

Self-Care Tips for Highly Sensitive People

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1. Turn off the noise - Not just figuratively but literally create quiet. Highly sensitive people are more sensitive to sounds, violence on TV, arguing, etc. So turn off the internet/TV, grab a book, go for a walk, visit the library, etc. And even if you aren't an HSP, there are proven benefits to silence.

2. Turn to the hobbies that give you peace - Reading, Cooking, Crafting, Gardening. Binge watching a TV series. Find the things that recharge you. You know what they are, but often they get lost in the shuffle (or lost in internet time for most of us) and are deemed expendable. They are not expendable. They are juice for your mental batteries.

3. Chores or methodical tasks can actually be soothing - I'm finding that anything methodical can be soothing. I've been listening to podcasts (click here to see my lists of favorites and I've binge listened to this one lately, too) while I do dishes or cook or fold laundry, and it's been oddly calming. Also, there's something satisfying about seeing things done. A nice meal on the table. A pile of folded laundry. It reestablishes some sense of control.

4. Move your body - Walking. Yoga. Whatever your favorite way is to get the blood flowing. Meditation isn't moving your body but can also be tremendously helpful.

5. Limit your exposure to the constant onslaught of news - For many decades, people survived with just having the evening news. Twenty-four hour news and the internet have changed all that, but it doesn't mean we NEED to watch for all those hours or read every post. I've found that it's best for me to watch Good Morning America's opening to get the day's headlines and then watch my local news in the evening. I get the information I need, stay informed, but don't have to subject myself to people yelling at each other and the endless cycle of "Breaking News". 

6. Edit your social media and the time you spend on it - I love social media, but it can suck the life out of you, too. I've had to greatly limit my Twitter time lately. I have blocked certain words on there. I have unfollowed (you can do that without un-friending) lots of people on Facebook and pretty much just go onto FB to participate in some of the groups I'm in and my own page and reader group. Fashion your social media to give you more exposure to the things you enjoy and less to the things that drag you down.

7. Take action in a way that works for you - If taking action is important to you, you can do that in quieter but still effective ways: writing letters/emails, voting, sending money or volunteering for causes/charities that are important to you. Action doesn't always have to be loud. Introverts have done some pretty amazing things in this world. 

8. Spend time with the people you love - Remind yourself of the good parts of your life. Your family. Your kids. Your dog. Your neighbors. Your book club. Whatever it is for you.

9. Laugh - Cue up that hilarious movie. Pick up that fun romance novel. Dance with your kids. (Last weekend I somehow ended up doing the NKOTB "The Right Stuff" dance for my kidlet and that cracked us both up.) Put on music you love and sing along while you do chores. It's okay and necessary to be ridiculous sometimes.

10. Be productive - This isn't the most fun one but I know a lot of us have been distracted from work. In January, I threw myself into writing and wrote about 30k words. That's a lot for me in a month and it felt damn good to get something done. I think it goes back to having that sense that you're in control, i.e. I am capable of doing this thing and finishing something. 

So those are the things that are working for me. I'd love to hear what's working for some of you. Any other HSPs out there? Anyone else hiding under their desk with me? 

Self-Care for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): It's Okay to Step Away from the News

Today I'm doing a bit of a one off. I know that I usually reserve this space to talk about books, planners, and other fun stuff. But with all the tragedy in the news lately, this has been on my mind, and I thought I'd share. 

When something horrible and tragic happens in the world--the Orlando mass-shooting, the explosions in Turkey, etc.--the news and the internet are going to be filled with talk of it. Reports, stories from families and survivors, and, when it comes to the internet, opinions and arguments about those opinions. These are all important. And everyone needs to know what's happening in the world so that we can help to change it. We can't be ignorant to things.

However, at the same time, we have to be aware of our own mental state and how it's affecting us. I've seen some things come across social media where people express the sentiment of, "I can't believe people are talking about silly TV shows or what book they're reading when *insert tragedy* happened this week." Now this hasn't been directed at me, but I've seen it scroll through my feeds. And I get it. I understand why it feels like EVERYONE should be talking about it. And many people process tragic event like that. They NEED to talk about it and feel like they are taking action. My husband is that way. He wants to see ALL the news stories and know every detail of what's going on. That's a totally valid reaction and doesn't make him less caring. It's just his way of processing things. He can effectively compartmentalize his feelings and emotions about it. But there are others who quite literally can't handle it. I know that because I'm one of them.

There's a term called Highly Sensitive People (HSP) or Highly Empathetic People. It sounds a little silly. Like, "Oh, she's SO sensitive." But it's a real thing. It's estimated that 15-20% of people fall into this category, and there are some important ways that HSP process things that make it necessary to protect themselves in certain ways.

So what does it mean to be a highly sensitive person? You can take a self test here on Dr. Elaine Aron's site, but here are a few highlights:

1. You feel the emotions of others. Not sympathize. Actually feel what they're feeling. Their mood affects yours. You can sense negativity like it's a physical thing.

2. You're overwhelmed by too much sensory input (loud noises, crowds, strong smells, people arguing, too much of anything.)

3. You need alone time.

4. You avoid violent images in movies/TV/on the news.

Also many times, these are people with a rich inner life and a lot of creativity. If you want more info, here are two good articles:

12 Signs You're a Highly Sensitive Person on Introvert, Dear

22 Signs You're a Highly Sensitive Person on Live Bold & Bloom

I've known this about myself for a while. I think it's what drew me writing in the first place. Empathy means being able to step into someone else's skin and feel what they're feeling. I made a job out of creating characters and walking in their shoes.

But I also think it's what led me to be a social worker. I wanted to help. I empathized and wanted to make things better for others. However, I think it was also what led me away from that career, too. I felt TOO MUCH. When I was working as a Birthmother Counselor at an adoption agency, I would go home physically sick with all the emotion some days. Because even though adoption is a beautiful thing, there was a birthmother who was usually in a bad situation who was giving her child to another family. That was never an easy decision. Ever. And I was the person who would be there to facilitate the adoption. I was the one to counsel the mom. Even when I knew it was the best decision for the mother and baby, it was still sad each time. On the flip side, when a mom changed her mind at the hospital, which often happened, I then felt all the emotion of the adoptive parents who were dealt another loss. It was too much. I wasn't "tough" enough for that not to leave marks on me at the end of the day.

So, what's my point? I do have one! Ha. :) This is how tragic news is for me or other highly sensitive people. I pay attention to what's going on in the world, but I can't repeatedly watch news about it or read articles about it or talk about it. Yesterday, there was a video going around of celebrities reading the stories of the victims of the Orlando shooting. I clicked on it because their stories deserve to be heard. But five minutes in, I was crying and feeling sick and thinking about what their families and friends must be feeling and I had to turn it off. It's not just sad for me, it's traumatizing. And I have to learn to step away when it feels like that. And that's okay.

So that's why I'm blogging about this. If you feel like you fall into this category and are highly sensitive, here are some things you can do:

1. Pay attention to how you're feeling and how your emotions/mood are being affected. - Sometimes it's easy to get swept up and then you can't figure out why you're feeling so down or stressed or angry.

2. Practice self-care - Just because others want to talk about it or it's all over the internet doesn't mean you're obligated to engage. It's okay to step away or do other things to distract yourself.

3. Let go of the guilt - Not watching the news or reading every article about something does not mean you don't care about it. 

4. Take action in ways that work for you - Vote in ways that support your beliefs on the situation, donate to the cause, do something kind for someone.

5. Give yourself a break - read a book, watch a movie, play with your kids or pets, refill the well inside you

I'm sure there are other things, but hopefully that will get you started. I have to remind myself of these often because I can get swept up in it, too. And we're no use to anyone if we're a crying, weeping, stressed out mess. :) And if you don't fall into this category, be aware that other people do and be accepting of that. Everyone has to handle things in the way that works for them. 

So any other HSPs out there? Have you ever felt any of these things? Are you able to watch the news or do you have to step away?

Finding Your Happy Place on the (Often Negative) Internet

The internet and social media can be a lot of things. Work. Information. Distraction. Fun. A place to keep up with distant friends and family. But, as we all know, it can also often be a negative place. Ugly stuff. Trolls. Arguments. Hate. 

That's nothing new. It's been there from the start. But lately, I've found that some of my "happy" places on the internet--the places I go for a break from work or stress--are becoming more and more unhappy, tense, or negative. And instead of finding an escape from stress, I'm finding more of it.

For me, Twitter used to be my watercooler where I'd "hang out" while working from home. Fun pics. Book recommendations. Funny comments. Chatting with friends. There was a lightness to it. And there is still a lot of that aspect there, but lately, there's also been so much heavy stuff. Heated debates. People calling out others. Arguing. Ugly comments. Facebook can be the same, especially around election time. 

And I'm not saying those type of things shouldn't be talked about on social media. Everyone should use their platform how they see fit. And a lot of those topics are important ones, things that should be discussed. But being exposed to it every day sometimes feels like an avalanche of ugh feelings, makes the world feel like an impossibly dark place. Kind of like watching the news all day. It can affect your mood and weigh on you.

I write romance for a reason. It offers a temporary respite, a safe place to escape. I think we all need places to escape sometimes, places where we focus on the bright parts of the world, the things that make us smile or laugh or get excited. It's good self-care. It helps balance things out.

Sometimes we just need fluffy kitten and puppy pictures, dammit. :) 

kitten massage in #cat

So though I always have books to provide a happy place for me, I've also found myself yearning for my happy place on the internet. Somewhere that I can go and just chat about nothing too heavy or look at pretty/silly/funny things or make new friends. And lately, I'm finding that I gravitate to a few specific places:

1. Instagram - I'm still kind of a newbie to Instagram, but it's quickly become one of my favorite places to take a "mind break." Cute pictures of friend's pets, funny pictures, planner p0rn, gorgeous landscapes. It's a place where people post things to make you smile, where they share the best little things in their day. (Come find me on Instagram if you want to join me in my happy place.)

2. Facebook groups - My solution to FB being kind of negative has been finding (or creating) FB groups. There's my Fearless Romantics Reader group, which is a happy place to talk about books. And then I'm in a planner group of publishing/writer people. We nerd out about planners, notebooks, pens. It's silly and fun and I've met new friends through it. It is such a happy place.

3. YouTube - Okay, this one isn't overly social for me. But since I've gotten into planners, I've spent way too much time watching people's videos on how they decorate their planners and such. it's also become my go to place when I'm researching products I might by, like when I was on the search for my mechanical keyboard.

4. Etsy - So this one can get expensive, lol. But I love seeing people (particularly women) open up their own businesses and sharing their creativity with the world. There are so many beautiful things there. And you feel good about buying there because you're supporting peoples' passions and small businesses.

There are a few others like Pinterest, but their interface often annoys me, so I don't spend as much time there as I would if I could adjust how things work, lol. But in general, those are my main go to places when I need a break.

So, I'm curious. What's your happy place on the internet? Or maybe just your happy place in general? When the worlds gets too stressful, what's your go to "brain break"?