Follow At Your Own Risk: Why My Social Media Shouldn't Have To Be G-Rated

funny dog pictures - that was SO NOT G rated
see more dog and puppy pictures

Yesterday, the lovely Jody Hedlund--one of my favorite bloggers--did a post on her 10 Social Media Pet Peeves. Now, Jody and I almost always agree. We've seem to have followed a similar blogging journey along the same timeline and often I find myself nodding along with her posts. And this post was no exception...for nine of those ten points. But number 4 gave me pause and thusly, inspired this post.

Here's her number four:

Pet Peeve #4: When followers use graphic pictures. This applies mostly to Pinterest. Soon after I joined, I quickly realized I couldn’t auto follow back. I was getting some very steamy pictures in my nice “happy” homepage stream. My laptop sits on the kitchen table in plain view of my kids, and I don’t want to have to worry about what they happen to see as I browse my SM sites. Even if a writer’s brand is erotic, I still think it’s wise to be sensitive to the fact that many of us are Moms with kids running around us.

I was with her until the "even if a writer's brand is erotic" part. :)

See, here's the deal. Your "brand" as a writer should be closely aligned with your style of books. If you're writing children's books, then you're not going to be talking about politics and sex on your blog. If you're a Christian writer, you're not going to be blogging about how drunk you got last night.

I write erotic romances that have explicit sex scenes in them. Kink is part of my books. People who read them know that and like those kinds of stories (or else they wouldn't be reading them.) So my readers aren't going to get offended if I post Boyfriends of the Week or shirtless men on my Pinterest (or even sexier stuff on Tumblr). In fact, not only are they not offended, but those boyfriends are the posts that get the most hits by far. So obviously, a big portion of people who follow me are into it.

But I know I also have a portion of followers who are writers who started following me when I was running Fiction Groupie. They are here for the writing posts and aren't necessarily interested in reading my books. That's fine. I even have a separate RSS feed for those who want only writing posts and no mancandy in their inbox so that they don't have to worry about it.

But if you go follow me on Pinterest or Tumblr without looking at the types of things I post, then that is on you. If I have a board named MELT INTO YOU Inspiration, which is a book about a BDSM menage relationship, you can probably guess the photos aren't always going to be G-rated. Hell, my book covers aren't even G-rated. If you choose to follow, that is at your own risk.

I make no secrets about the kinds of books I write. Look at the tagline up at the top of the blog. I'm not going to apologize for posting things in line with my brand. In fact, next week I'm starting a series in prep for STILL INTO YOU's release that is going to be about fun ways to spice up your marriage or relationship. These posts are going to be tasteful, but they're not going to be G-rated. They shouldn't have to be.

Yes, I know people have kids around their computers. I have a four year old. I get it. But it is not MY responsibility to cater this blog (or any of my other social media sites) to keep things away from your child's eyes. That's like saying I shouldn't write erotic romances because a child might pick up their mom's book. My only responsibility is keeping it from my kid's view. I know which sites not to click on if he's sitting next to me. 

My brand is sexy romance. It shouldn't be a surprise if I sometimes post about sexy things. Just like if a Christian writer is posting about a bible passage or their religious journey. If I'm following them and not of that faith or whatever, I have no right to get offended. Their brand is clear. If I chose to follow the person, that was at my own risk.

And if someone is posting stuff you don't want to read or see, don't follow them. I've unfollowed a fellow erotic writer for being unnecessarily graphic and cursing nonstop (and believe me, I'm not easily offended.) But it was too much for me and I was getting nothing from their feed. I've also unfollowed people who spout off poitical stuff that ticks me off. I don't need that stress in my day. Was what those people were posting wrong? No. It just wasn't for me. They have the right to make their image and brand whatever they want them to be. I have the right not to buy into it.

For my own blog, I have lines. I don't post nude mancandy pics since I prefer photos that leave something to the imagination. I occasionally curse, but usually keep it at a PG-13 level or ** out the words. I try to keep everything tasteful and classy even when I am talking about a racy topic. Why? Because that's what I want my place on the web to be like. The way I discuss things on here is how I would discuss things in person.

Jody responded to my comment on her blog with, "Obviously, if we're trying to reach our target audience, then we'll try to brand our Pinterest boards to our books. That makes sense. Nevertheless, I do try to be sensitive to the fact that I have numerous followers from all spectrums of life."

I see where she's coming from (and of course I still heart Jody), but I also know that trying to please and cater to "everyone" is an impossible task. Try doing that with your novel and see how well that goes.

Different people want different things. A fellow writer is going to want something different from me than a pure reader will. A romance reader will want something different from me than a suspense reader. You can run the risk of becoming too generic or safe in your brand. That's what was happening with me at Fiction Groupie. I felt restricted because I only posted about writing. I was afraid to post romance-y stuff because some people would've been turned off. So it boxed me in to only talking about writing. That's something I love to do, but it was becoming a very one-dimensional version of me. And where does that leave the readers who could give a crap about how-to writing posts?

So this is me and this is my brand. If you only want writer me, you have the option to just follow those posts. If you want to follow me on Pinterest, cherry pick the boards that appeal to you. If you want to follow me on Tumblr, read the 18+ and NSFW warning at the top. If you want to follow G-Rated mom me, follow my group mommy blog Peanut Butter on the Keyboard. If you want to follow me on Twitter, you'll get a little bit of it all. But I'm not going to apologize for what I post. You've been warned. Follow at your own risk. (But I do hope you still follow.) ;)

So what are your thoughts? Do you think we should keep everything PG even if our books are not? Has anyone ever surprised with something you didn't want in your feed? Do the mancandy posts make you happy or make you nervous to view my blog?

Drowning in Blogs: How Do You Keep Track of Your Favorites?

 

Photo by Aimanness Photography (click pic for link)I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I've been writing a LOT this week. I've written about 11k words on my new novella in five days. However, that also meant I wasn't surfing the web and clicking twitter links all week, so my saved list of favorite links is too short for a Fill-Me-In Friday post. I'll save them and have an extra big one next week.

So instead of the links round up, I'm throwing out a question to you guys.

When I started blogging, I followed everyone who followed me and then some. My google reader ballooned to well over 300 blogs, which of course means it became a useless tool. Now I'm left keeping up with blogs mostly through seeing random Twitter links. But that's hit or miss of course.

I need a better way to organize myself if I want to read blogs. So I'm asking y'all...

How do you keep up with your favorite blogs? Email subscriptions? Google reader? Triberr? Some other brilliant method? Help!

Under the Hood: How I Built My Author Website #atozchallenge

 

Photo by Ella Novak (click pic for link)Over the last couple of weeks, I've gotten a few emails from people asking about my website. How I built it, did I use a web designer, which platform is it on, how did I get my blog integrated, etc. So instead of continuing to answer those individually, I thought maybe it'd be helpful to give a brief peek under the hood of this site.

Did I use a web designer?

No. I may in the future, but as of right now didn't want to spend the money.

Benefits: I'm a control freak and I LOVE that I can change and tweak every little thing myself with ease. If I want to add something or move something I can do it on my schedule and not have to wait for a webmaster. 

Drawbacks: I have to do everything myself. I don't know how to do the more complicated or fancier things in html so my site doesn't have a ton of bells and whistles.

 

What platform did I use to build my website?

Almost everyone I know uses Wordpress.org (not the free .com) for their author site. However, when I was doing my research, I ran across Squarespace. I liked how their sites looked, liked that I could do it all myself, and liked their prices. You can get a site for I think between 8-10 dollars a month. And they give you a free trial, so you can use their tools to build your website and see if you like it. 

Benefits: It's inexpensive and I really like their tools. I don't have to html code anything, it's all very user friendly.

Drawbacks: There IS a learning curve when you first start. I was ready to give up when I first tried to build a site, but then it clicked. The system becomes intuitive but you have to give it time for your brain to wrap around a system you're not used to. And from what I hear, if you CAN code, you have more flexibility on Wordpress.org than Squarespace.

 

How did I get my blog integrated into the website?

Squarespace has an import feature that works with Blogger and Wordpress. So if you're starting fresh, you can simply hit a button, import your blog, and it will show up on your journal/blog page on your squarespace site. Your comments may or may not transfer over depending on the system you use.

However, if y'all remember I kept up Fiction Groupie for a year while starting a new blog over here. So then when I moved everything together, I had TWO blogs and once you've started one, you can't import another into the current one. So I have a separate archives page with all my Fiction Groupie posts (used the import feature) and I also built the For Writers tab above and sorted all my best posts from Fiction Groupie for easy browsing.

Benefits: You want your blog integrated with your website. It looks more professional and streamlined. I hate when I click on a blog tab on an author page and it brings me to a separate Blogger or wordpress blog and then I can't get back to the website if I want to. It's clunky.

Drawbacks: If you've built up a following on a free blogging site, you'll lose that shiny number when you move everything over and will have to direct people to find you at the new place. (I know this can be scary. I left a really pretty number over at Fiction Groupie. But believe me, it was the best move I've made.)

 

How did I get the custom header?

I made it with the most rudimentary program ever--Microsoft Paint. Just make a box in the dimensions of your header then fill it in with what you want.

 

Have my hits declined since leaving my established blog on Blogger?

They did when I first moved over. Now they are higher than they ever were on Fiction Groupie. Squarespace optimizes things for search engines and it seems to bring a lot more people over.

 

Why do I use the Disqus commenting system?

Because Squarespace's native commenting system is not great. It doesn't have threaded comments. So I like Disqus--even though it's not perfect. Sometimes people can't see the comment form. I've discovered there is no perfect system, but this is the best one I've found.

 

What would I do differently if started over again?

I'd have built a site from the start instead of building my blog on a free site and then having to move it once it was established. I say once you've built the beginning of a healthy following--getting close to the 400-500 follower mark OR you already have a book deal, you may want to consider getting your own place.

 

Alright, I think those are most of the questions I've been asked. But feel free to ask others if you have any or give your own advice from your own experience. : )

What's been your experience building your blog or website? What's worked and what hasn't? What would you recommend to others?

 

*And if you weren't here yesterday, I reversed the letters V and U for the A to Z challenge for good reason. :)

AND one last announcement...

I now have the first chapter of STILL INTO YOU, my June novella, available to read. Hope y'all check it out. :)

Round-Up Time: Best Writing Links of the Week #atozchallenge

 It's that time of the week again. Time to round up the best writing links I've come across this week (and last week since I missed doing a round up while I was out of town.)

Here we go...

On Writing/Publishing:

Sara Megibow Sells Romance – What Do You Need To Know About Submissions? | Romance University

Four Secrets About Writer's Conference Faculty - Marcy Kennedy

Pens for Paws Auction <--Check out a good cause

Reading and Writing Negative Reviews | Wistfully Linda

Writing Conferences–Beware of Crossing Deer « Kristen Lamb's Blog

Julie Anne Lindsey | Don’t Quit Your Day Job «Musings from the Slush Pile

Sierra Godfrey: Back away slowly from 1-star reviews

Sierra Godfrey: A year of baby and writing

Why every man MUST read a romance – and every woman a thriller | The Red Pen of Doom

Romance novelists are secret, epic army of man boosters | The Red Pen of Doom

My favorite quality in a romance novel - Kat Latham

 

On Blogging/Social Networking/Business:

58 Ways to Create Persuasive Content Your Audience Will Love | Copyblogger

What Mascara, Thai Food & Julia Child Can Teach Us About Social Media Success - Kristen Lamb

The 7 Bad Habits of Insanely Productive People | Copyblogger <--LOVE this

 

What You May Have Missed Here in the A to Z Challenge:


 

Got Rhythm? Finding It In Your Story

 

 

How To Dish Out Backstory In Digestible Bites 

 

 

Ian Somerhalder - Boyfriend of the Week

 

 

Kink & BDSM 101 - What It Is & Why It's So Popular In Books

 

 

Like Me! - How to Create Sympathetic Characters

 

 

Man Up: Writing Male POV

 

 

The (Not So) Dreaded Synopsis

 

 

Orlando Bloom - Boyfriend of the Week

 

 

Picky, Picky - The Danger of Authors Being Too Clique-y on Twitter

 

 

Question: Book Series/TV Show You Wish You Could Experience Again for the 1st Time

 

Whew, all right, that's all two weeks worth. What have been some of your favorite links this week?

Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

 

Fill-Me-In Friday: Best Writing Links of the Week #atozchallenge

 

Did I miss the train?

Photo by Son of Groucho
  

 Need to catch up?

If you're new to my blog, every Friday is reserved for rounding up the best links of the week. And the letter for the A to Z Challenge today is conveniently the letter F, so my normal Fill-Me-In Friday works! :)

Here we go...

On Writing/Publishing/Social Networking:

Julie James and the Art of Interviewing at Dear Author

Julie Anne Lindsey | GoodReads for Writers – A LESSON for you

How To Keep Your Inbox At Zero | Author Media

Case Study: How to Breathe New Life into Your Tired Old Blog | Copyblogger

How Cat’s Eye Writer Became a Top 10 Blogger

Andrew Shaffer To Write Fifty Shades Of Grey Parody, Fifty Shames Of Earl Grey 

Content Marketing Data Analysis: Is Pinterest Traffic Worthless? | Copyblogger

 

What You May Have Missed Here:

A is for...An Ordinary Girl

 

 

Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone

 

 

Channing Tatum - Boyfriend of the Week

 

 

Don't Be THAT Writer

 

 

E is for Easter Eggs Prettier Than Mine  #atozchallenge

 

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! I'll be flying to Chicago for the Romantic Times Convention next week, so remind why I signed up for this A to Z challenge again? Eek!