Reading Sexy Books For or With Your Partner & A Message to the Dudes

Photo by M31 (flickr cc)Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! 

Today, I ran across a post by Maisey Yates over at the Peanut Butter on the Keyboard blog on why it's important to keep the sizzle in your marriage. And I ended up having a sideline conversation with her about it where the topic of romance novels came up. Obviously, we both write romance, so we're a bit biased, but both of us see them as relationship enhancers rather than detractors. Life can be crazy and busy and exhausting. And sometimes when we finally roll into bed at night, the last thing on our minds is sexy times. We can forget how nice it can be to lose ourselves in the touch of the person we love most.

And sometimes all we need is a little nudge or reminder. Taking a few minutes in the evening to decompress and read a book that focuses on the greatness of romance can be just the thing that puts us back in the right frame of mind. It reminds us how transcendent kissing and touching (and kinky things, if you're reading one of my books) can be with someone you love. It provides space in our minds again for romance and sex, shoving out all those other things--the dishes, the kids' homework, the pound we gained this week, the project at work-- at least for a little while. It can remind a woman what a sacred space we can create when it's just you and the person you love with nothing else between you.

So when I hear some guys deride romance novels or worse, get jealous of them, I kind of want to smack them on the back of the head. The logic goes something like this: "I should be enough. I don't want her lusting over some fictional dude to get turned on for me." Come on, guys. It's not about wishing you were some other dude. Women need to be in the right state of mind for sex and often it's harder for us to block out the other stuff and focus--reading a book and getting swept away in some sexy story can help refocus us. It makes us fall for you all over again and reminds us--hey, we have this guy we love sitting over there and all this sexy stuff that is going on in this book--well, we can have that too. Right. Now. Hello, there.

It also can make us more adventurous and open to new things in bed. I'm sure there are many men out there right now (especially after the surge of BDSM romance out there now) who are smart enough to not make fun of the thing that made their women say--so, hey, honey, maybe you could tie me up tonight and tell me exactly how to please you. Lol. 

I've had a number of my readers tell me that they even pick out their favorite scenes from my books and read them aloud with their partners. How fun is that? It's a sexy activity and it provides a more comfortable way to convey--hey, maybe we could try something like this. AND, it conveys to the woman that her guy is totally secure in himself and their relationship and is willing to hear her fantasies without all that judgey-ness.

And nothing is sexier than a guy who is confident and secure enough to know that there's no way a fictional hero could compete with him in his woman's eyes. Promise. That. Is. Hot.

So go forth and have a fantastic Valentine's Day!

Blatant self-promotion alert: And if you're looking for a sexy, short read for you and your partner to try out, STILL INTO YOU, my novella, is about a married couple re-kindling the flame by getting a little sexually adventurous and is only 2.99.

Anyone read steamy books with their honey? How does your partner feel about your reading habits?

Book Sales: What I've Bought & Why I Can't Resist

If you know me, you know that I'm not a shopper. Shopping for clothes? Meh. Shopping for shoes? Ick. Shopping for furniture? Shoot me. I do enjoy the gourmet grocery store or a trip to IKEA, but that's about it.

Then there are books...

That's a whole other story. 

There's not much I enjoy more than browsing books--both in bookstores and online. There's such possibility. Where am I going to find that next story that sweeps me away or shocks me or keeps me up at night?

And even more irresistible than a regular book is a book ON SALE. Gah. Might as well wave cupcakes in front of me and ask me not to bite. Surprisingly, I'm not attracted to FREE! because I've been burned there and usually question the quality. The only time I download a free read is if it's from a trusted author or publisher or I've gotten a rec from a friend. But that low sale price? Yeah, that gets me.

I'm still selective in which I choose usually. I have so much in my TBR pile already that I want to make sure it's something I will truly read. But if I've heard good things about the book, hear a rec, or the book has great reviews from trusted sources, then I'm usually buying. (And if it's YA or NA, I'm emailing Julie Cross with--"have you read this? Should I get it?" Because she's usually ahead of me on her reading.)

And I've already told you about my discovery at the used bookstore of boxes of romances that sell for $15 (above) for 44 books. Hubs bought me a couple of those. I mean, how could I turn away from that?

Even though I know I'm short on reading time, I can't seem to turn away from a story that sounds interesting. It's like I'm afraid that one day I'll run out of stories to read. If I didn't have an e-reader, I'd probably look like an episode of hoarders, lol. But I guess one can have worse addictions. (At least that's what I tell myself and hubs.)

Plus, the Daily Deals are particularly enticing because you know that the next day that 1.99 sale is going to jump back to 7.99-9.99 so you need to act now. Yeah, I know, that's the point. But clearly, the method works on me.

If you want to keep up with Daily Deals, you can sign up for the Kindle Daily Deal email (and I'm assuming Nook has something similar). You can also follow Dear Author's Daily Deal posts (I like hers because she often gives commentary on the choices that either sells me on it or steers me away), and Smart Bitches, Trashy Books features romance deals regularly too.

Here's what I've bought on sale recently (and haven't read yet)--note that all of these aren't necessarily still on sale. Click covers for more info on the book.

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Have heard really good things about this one, so it was a no-brainer buy.

 

Painted Faces by L.H. Cosway

Saw this one on Dear Author with a rec. I have to say I'm really intrigued at the idea of an alpha male hero who dresses in drag. Not something I'd normally think would work, but I've heard from multiple sources that it's a great book.

 

The Vincent Boys by Abbi Glines

There's a lot of buzz in the New Adult world about this author and lots of strong reviews on this book, so I figured I'd check it out.

 

Austenland by Shannon Hale

Saw this one on Smart Bitches when there was a sale on all things Austen. I recently watched Pride & Prejudice for the first time (the mini-series) and have been watching the first season of Downton Abbey, so I guess I'm just in the mood for something Austen related.

 

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

This is one I emailed Julie about. She gave me the thumbs up. Plus, what a cute cover and title. :)

 

Midnight Man by Lisa Marie Rice

A strong rec on Dear Author had be buying this one.

 

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Have heard lots of good things about this one, though I've been warned that I need to be prepared to buy the sequel after finishing this one.

 

The Black Lyon by Jude Deveraux

I'm making a point to read some old school 80s/90s romances which is part of the reason I'm happy I got those boxes at the used bookstore.

 

Dreamland by Sarah Dessen

Have heard good things about the author and the blurb intrigued me.

 

The Center of Everything by Laura Moriarty

This was totally a "back cover sounds interesting" buy. I may have checked reviews on Goodreads first, too.

 

The Winter Sea by Susanna Kearsley

Good reviews out there on this one and I love a good time travel story.

 

Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz

I used to read Dean Koontz and I know this is the start to one of his biggest series, so I grabbed it.

As you can see, sales help nudge me into purchasing things outside my normal authors and genres. I love that. I don't need to wait for sales to buy my favorite authors or to buy an erotic romance. I buy those when they come out. But the sales on other stuff helps fill in the gaps with new, outside my genre stuff. Win-win.

So what about you? Do you have trouble resisting a book sale? How do you decide what to buy if it's not an auto-buy author for you?

**I'm not sure why some browsers are not showing the book covers. I've checked it on both my computer and phone and they're showing on my end. Seems like half of you can see them and others can't. I've gone back and added the titles with links in case you can't see the covers. Sorry! Not sure what the issue is.

FALL INTO YOU's Television Debut & Book Clubs

Hey everyone! 

I'm buried still with my deadline coming up next week. But I wanted to pop in and share the Buy the Book/Fresh Fiction segment from Good Morning Texas this week.

Very surreal seeing my book on TV.

And by the way, if anyone is in a book club that selects one of my books as a read, let me know! If you're local, I'm happy to visit. And if you're not local, I can always pop in via Skype. : )  

Must-Read Monday: A Book I Think Every Woman Should Read

First, a quick apology that I wasn't around for most of last week. I'm right up against my deadline and was in the inspiration zone. Banner week--21,000 words in 5 days. o.0  That is definitely a record for me. But needless to say, I had no juice left for blogging. I'll probably be like this until Feb. 1 since I'm still finishing the e-serial, but I did want to pop in today.

My pick for today is non-fiction and is a book that's been around for a long time: The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. I first heard about this book years ago when the author was on Oprah. It was one of those times where I watched something and certain things stuck with me long after the show. For instance, if you are attacked, "Never let someone take you to a second location." It was a chilling show and chock full of information, but I never picked up the book until a few months ago. 

I believe it was on sale on Kindle or something and I decided to get it. And man, am I glad I did. The book was compelling and really has information everyone should hear, particularly women since we tend to get victimized more. It's all about learning to trust your instincts and how to spot the signs that may indicate danger. Seriously, do yourself a favor and read it. After finishing it, I wanted to give a copy to every female relative and friend I have.

One of the most dangerous things we do is train ourselves out of trusting our intuition. We want to be "nice" to everyone and not look rude. Well, this books gives you permission to keep yourself safe first even if that means you may come off like a bitch at times. I found the whole thing insightful and empowering. I also found it vindicated me because I can be a bit paranoid about things. For instance, if I'm home alone and someone knocks on my door, I don't answer it. If I'm not expecting someone and I don't recognize the person, it can't be that important. My husband always thought that was a little silly, but why risk it? When I was in graduate school at LSU, there was a serial killer on the loose who got into women's houses by getting them to open the door (they think he posed as a service man or something.) Anyway, that cured me of ever opening the door to strangers. It may be silly or inconvenient or rude, but it's my instinct and I trust it. And this book backs me up on that. : )

About the book (via Amazon):

A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers to help carry a woman's groceries. Is he a good Samaritan or is he after something else? A fired employee says "You'll be sorry." Will he return with a gun? After their first date, a man tells a woman it is their "destiny" to be married. What will he do when she won't see him again? A mother has an uneasy feeling about the nice babysitter she's just hired. Should she not go to work today?

These days, no one in America feels immune to violence. But now, in this extraordinary groundbreaking book, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. Contrary to popular myth, human violence almost always has a discernible motive and is preceded by clear warning signs.

Through dozens of compelling examples from his own career, Gavin de Becker teaches us how to read the signs, using our most basic but often most discounted survival skill - our intuition. The Gift of Fear is a remarkable, unique combination of practical guidance on leading a safer life and profound insight into human behavior.

It's an easy read that you'll fly through. And I promise, you won't forget it. 

Now, go and buy it. I heart you all and want you to be safe. : )  Has anyone else read this one?