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Merry Christmas, y'all!
Thought I'd share the card hubs got me.
This is why I always say the sexiest thing a man can have is a great sense of humor.
Says: "For Christmas, I couldn't find anything in gold or silver that I liked"
Hope everyone has a great day with their family! I'm off to eat copius amounts of pancakes.
Today is Tuesday, our Boyfriend of the Week day. And last week you guys gave me so many great suggestions, so I have tons of fresh meat men to choose from.
BUT, there was a bit of hair drama I needed to take care of today, so ended up not having time to get together a post.
So instead I'll share my before and after shots like a weight loss infomercial.
Last time I got my hair highlighted, I didn't like it. It was TOO much blonde. I told hubs this and he said it looked good and that I was overreacting. Well, this weekend I saw my mom who was like--whoa, your hair is fried.
Yes, yes it was. And now I knew I wasn't crazy for not liking it. So today I rectified the situation. I have made the dramatic change from blonde to brunette.
Before (me and hubs--aka my Boyfriend of the Week every week--at the SEC Championship this weekend):
NOW:
It's a dramatic change, but my hair feels so much softer and healthier. Plus, change is good every now and then.
So I promise Boyfriend of the Week will be back next Tueday now that the crisis has been averted. :)
Yes, this is Jared Leto. Yum.
(Photo of the "Hurricane" video via VH1)
Most of you know (or have figured out from that smoking hot book cover up there in the right hand corner) that I write erotic romance. And specifically I write in a subgenre of erotic romance--BDSM erotic romance.
What is BDSM? For those of you who aren't quite sure...
From Wikipedia (because they can summarize better than I can):
BDSM is a continuum of erotic practice and expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.
For those of you that are already eroRom readers, I'm sure you don't bat an eyelash that I write in this genre. BDSM is a huge, highly popular subgenre in erotic romance. But for those of you who haven't read much in the genre, the idea of BDSM may be a bit intimidating or too "out there." Images of leather-clad people wearing heavy eyeliner and dog collars may flit through your mind. You may be thinking, "Why on earth would I want to read about that? And how can this be a romance novel?"
But believe me, the types of stories in this subgenre run the gamut. If you want the extreme, it's out there. But also out there are stories about every day people who happen to like things a little (or a lot) edgier in the bedroom. Characters who discover that something about this kind of relationship with another person feeds something inside them.
This is not a case of--oh hey, let's throw in some handcuffs and call this book BDSM. These stories are about people who on some soul deep level crave things like power exchange in the bedroom. Or at least that's how I write my characters. I write from the perspective that this is part of who they are--either because of life experiences or genetics or whatever. (*sings Lady Gaga's "Born This Way"*)
For instance, my heroine in CRASH INTO YOU, discovers she likes being sexually submissive early on in her adulthood, but then she's brutally attaked and raped. Now, ten years later, she's terrifed of giving control to someone else, yet the part of her that craves sexual submission is still in there. She's just tamped it down because even the thought of it sends her into a panic attack. (Of course this means I--evil author--had to put her in a position where she had to face that fear.)
But she's not some alternative character that only people in the BDSM lifestyle could relate to (though there would be nothing wrong with it if she was.) She's a smart, successful social worker with a "normal" life. If you've never read erotic romance and you pick up my book, it's not going to feel like some "out there" genre. It's going to read like a romance because that's what it's about--love. (Don't believe me? You can read chapter one here.) Of course, there will be super hot sex scenes that include things you won't find in a non-erotic book, but hello--who wants to miss out on that? :)
So if you've never read "this kind of book", I encourage you to try it and not be intimidated. You will find more of the familiar than unfamiliar in them. (Here's a suggestion for what to try if you've never read BDSM romance.) And you never know, it may give you some ideas to try out with your own significant other. ;)
Oh, and because it's now in my head, a little Gaga for you...
So, are you an erotic romance reader? Have you read a BDSM story before? If so, what are some of your favorites? If you haven't read one, are you at all intimidated by the genre? What would make you give a book in this genre a shot?
Photo by Andrea_44
I have a lot of mantras that I've used throughout my life: "Never go to bed angry", "Everything happens for a reason", "You get more flies with honey." But the one that enters my mind way too much is--"I can do it later."
I can return this email later...
I can leave a blog comment later...
I can fold these towels tomorrow...
I can make that doctor's appointment next week...
Now, I have never been someone who is late on the important things. I've never turned in a paper late or needed a deadline extended for a work project. I get those things done. But it's the little, less urgent things that tend to drop off my radar.
For instance, if my editor sends me an email asking me to revamp the back cover blurb, I will instantly jump on it and have it back to her within 24 hours. Because that is something that has a hard deadline and cannot wait.
But if a friend ask me to take a look at her pages, if I don't do it right then, she's probably not going to get them back for weeks because they'll get lost in my email. And after reading this post on the Fantastical Personality Type, I now see why. It's not that I'm disorganized--I'm not at all. It's just that people with this personality type have to keep everything they are working on in their line of site or it doesn't exist. So that's why my desk looks like this:
All my notes, the craft books I want to use, and the business things I have to work on are all spread out where I can eyeball them. And that's why once an email is off my main screen (which takes about an hour), I've already forgotten about it. Unless I go assign an alarm to it, I won't find it again for months until I'm going through the stack of unread email en masse. So this is why I got Outlook for my email. I can assign reminders to things that pop up in the middle of my screen to hit me over the head.
However, this organizational method can be just as ineffective if I let the dirty procrastinator that lives inside me take over. When I found myself continuously "snoozing" a reminder that I had set up two months ago, I knew it had to stop.
And not just in my writer life, but also in my home life. I do not need to wait to fold socks until the basket of socks is so huge that it's an hour long job. I do not have to wait to go to the post office until I have ten things to mail.
These undone things act as this nebulous cloud of doom that hangs over my head. I don't always notice it's there but there's this niggling since of--I'm behind on something. I'm always behind. And it's a source of constant subconscious stress. And I'm tired of it.
So I've put myself on an Anti-Procrastination Diet. I've only been at it for a week, but already it's made a world of difference. I've made it through most of my list of to-do's. I have clothes folded and hung in our closets. We even have paired socks! *cue angels singing*
And I feel so much lighter (which is why I'm calling it a diet.) :)
So here are the rules I've given myself...
The Anti-Procrastination Diet
1. If something needs to be done and you have time to do it right now, do it RIGHT NOW.
2. If you get an email that will require action, either act on it immediately or assign an alarm to it. And you only get to snooze that alarm ONCE.
3. Eat elephants one bite at a time. Don't wait until a task like laundry builds up so big that it's going to require hours of work.
4. When you find yourself saying "I can do it later", stop and make a plan on when you are going to do it or go ahead and do it now.
5. When it comes to writing, you can't wait for the muse. You need to get writing done every week day no matter what.
I'm sure I'll add more to this and it's still a constant challenge and fight with my tendencies, but it's working for me right now.
So how about you? Are you a procrasinator or someone who gets things off your to-do list quickly? What's the task you put off time and again, then regret it later? What tips do you have to avoid procrasination?
And anyone want to join me on this diet? We could form a Twitter support group--help me think of a hashtag. Who's with me?
Photo by Rachael Shaoiro
Today is my ten-year wedding anniversary. For those of you doing the math, yes that means I got married at the ripe old age of 21. I know. Believe me, I got a few raised eyebrows back then too. Especially since I'd met my dear hubby on the internet--which a decade ago was quite a scandalous thing to do. It was before the days of match.com and such. We met in an AOL chat room and ended up IMing about LSU football of all things. Eight months later he picked up and moved from Dallas to Baton Rouge to be with me. *insert Awwww... here* :) Two years after that, we were hitched.
So I was well aware when I was standing up there at the alter that there were people in the audience watching us like we were the After the Rose ceremony of The Bachelorette. You know the--"Yeah, this will never last. She met him on AOL for God's sake and she was only 19 when she *thinks* she fell in love. Poor dear has no idea what she's getting into."
Well, to them, I say ninny-ninny-boo-boo. Sometimes the young and stupid get lucky. :) And I at least knew a good thing when I saw it.
Here's how I knew it was love:
1. He could quote lines from Sixteen Candles and knew lyrics from both Metallica AND Debbie Gibson songs.
2. We chatted for months online and never once did he ask me my cup size. (Which back then was like the first question out of every guy in an AOL chatroom.)
3. He could make me laugh so hard on the phone that I did that unattractive snorting thing and didn't care that he heard it.
4. He wrote me old school type love letters (via email) that made me feel like I was in my own romance novel.
5. On our first date, he asked permission to hold my hand.
Photo by paddynapper
And why we're still ass-over-elbows in love ten years later...
1. He has never, not once, left the seat up in the bathroom. Ever.
2. He can be a total badass but also is the most soft-hearted guy I've ever met. Yesterday, we almost hit a turtle trying to cross the road. Hubs pulled over, got out the car, and in 108 degree heat headed back to where the turtle was to pick him up and walk him back to a nearby pond.
3. We have our own sides of the bed. I don't care how in love you are. When it's time to go to sleep, everyone needs their own zone.
4. He tolerates supports the fact that I spend my work time writing about imaginary heroes with perfect abs and posting pictures of Boyfriends of the Week. (see his take on it here)
5. We still make each other laugh daily, which I think when it comes down to it, is the most important ingredient of all.
So to my husband, I say Happy Anniversary and thank you. If I didn't have my own romance hero in my life, I would've never been inspired to write the books that I do.
Now, I'd love to hear what you guys think are the keys to a good marriage? And how did you know your significant other was the one?