The Show Don't Tell Rule

Photo by Cristian V.

We all know it's one of the biggest rules in writing. We hear it over and over again. "Show don't tell, show don't tell." Like an annoying parrot squawking in our ear. However, despite this rule being ingrained on our very psyche, many of us still fall victim to a whole lot of telling. And even though we can't possibly show every single thing, we should aim to spend most of our story showing. Otherwise, we'll distance our reader from the action and they'll just feel like they're hearing a story secondhand instead of experiencing it themselves.

Here are some tips (source) to help catch those sneaky telling moments.

Please forgive me in advance for my not so genius examples, it's early. I went to the Pink concert last nightand am feeling a little fuzzy. :)

1. Unearth those -ly adverbs.

TELL: "I can't believe he's gone," she said sadly. (How do you know she's sad? You're telling us.)

SHOW: "I can't believe he's gone." Her eyes filled with tears.

2. Beware the "to be" verbs. am/is/was/could be/would have been/etc.

TELL: The room was creepy and she was scared.

SHOW: A chill stole across her skin as the oppressive darkness pressed against her. The floorboard creaked beneath her feet, and a small yelp escaped her lips.

3. Hunt down the words Look, Feel, Know (and others I'm probably forgetting.)

TELL: He looked angry. He felt angry. She knew he was angry. *yawn*

SHOW: His face turned an unbecoming shade of purple, and he slammed the phone against the wall.

A few other tips that help with showing....

--Paint a picture, be specific.

Don't just have your hero eat cereal. Tell us what kind. A person who eats Count Chocula is very different from someone who eats Shredded Wheat. This helps you show us something about him

--Use all five senses in your writing, don't rely on sight and sound only.

Romance novels are very good at this one since the reaction to the hero/heroine is usually experienced on every level.

--Use dialogue to "show".

Don't say he's cocky. Show him saying cocky things. I ♥ dialogue. It's one of my favorite ways to show.

--Don't recount a past event if you can show them.

This can be a simple thing. Like, don't say your character had a fight with their boss earlier in the day. Let us see the fight or at least her storming out of the office. This can also help with backstory. Flashback scenes can be dodgy, but if used correctly, can be a good way to show a dramatic moment instead of having a character recount it.

--Pretend you are a directing a movie

Movies can't tell you anything. They have to show it all. Watch movies to see what they use to show the characters personality, emotion, backstory, etc.

--And know that you can't and shouldn't show everything.

Some scenes are uninteresting and don't need a play by play, just a quick summary to get us to the next important scene.

Alright, hope that helps. It definitely helps me.

No! No! Bad Writer

Growing up, I was a girl who (except for the occasional rebellious moment) followed the rules. I wanted my parents, family, and teachers to be proud of me. I did what I was supposed to, got the As, and developed a bit of a perfectionistic personality. In many ways, this was a good thing. On the other hand, worrying about perfection is a bit maddening because of course it can never be achieved.

When I started to get serious about my writing last year, I jumped in and just started typing. I didn't pick up a writing book, read an agent blog, or do a lick of research. Very unlike me. But the creative juices were churning and I needed to get the words on the page before I did anything else. Once I finished my first draft, I took a breath and started to read more about writing. And boy, oh boy, there was enough out there to send me into a near panic attack.

There was so much I didn't know, so many rules I had never heard of. I thought with a firm grasp on grammer, an idea about story structure, and the show don't tell rule, I was good to go. I had no idea there was a written (and unwritten) code of the do's and don'ts of writing. This, of course, sent my anal-retentiveness into overdrive. I jumped into editing and tried to fix the things I had no idea were wrong the first time around. Then, draft after draft, I would discover a new rule I wasn't aware of and would have to go back through again. It was liking trying to break the code into a secret society.

And it hasn't stopped yet. I'm still learning new rules and agent/publisher preferences every day. At times, it's overwhelming, but I want my manuscripts to be as good as they can be, so I'll keep digging and finding out what I can. I know I can never reach perfection, but I can sure try, lol.

What I Done Learnt So Far:

1. Adverbs are the devil incarnate. They will steal the soul of your verbs.

2. Excessive adjectives are like white shoes after Labor Day.

3. Prologues (this one hurt) are not your friend.

4. Dialogue tags are like big, fat "I'm a new writer" billboards in your manuscript

5. The being verbs are the ugly stepchildren of the verb family

6. You want verbs that go to the gym--nice and strong.

7. Rhetorical questions in query letters make agents burn your letter in a weekly bonfire.

8. Backstory should be slipped in like roofies into a drink--your reader didn't even notice it happened.

9. Present Participial phrases are generally bad. (This one is a new discovery for me. Editortorent has a whole series on PPPs alone.)

10. Hidden/Buried Dialogue is not preferred and slows down your pacing. (This one is also new to me. My handy dandy critique group gave me a lesson on this one recently. Apparently, dialogue passages need to be in one of the following structures:

• dialogue -->narrative-->dialogue
• narrative-->dialogue
• dialogue-->narrative

NOT narrative-->dialogue-->narrative OR (my personal favorite) Dialogue-->narrative-->dialogue-->narrative. Don't bury dialogue in the middle of narrative. I did this all over the place, including the submissions I currently have with agents--sigh).

I'm sure there are hundreds more rules, but these are the ones that made the most impact on me.

What writing rules have you discovered that you never knew existed? Which rule stabbed you in the heart when you heard it? Which one is your biggest enemy--the one who sneaks in your writing all the time?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Know Your Enemy"-- Green Day

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Face Off Friday: Adverbs

The votes are in. You guys have chosen Face Off for the weekly Friday theme. Thanks to those of you who voted!

So, first a quick update, since I have been absent for most of this week. I have spent the last four days in a manic state of revising. The manuscript, thankfully, is now on its way to the agent's hands. She estimates she'll get back to me within eight weeks.

Word of warning to anyone out there: Say (as a completely hypothetical example) you are querying, and you've gotten a few rejections, some with feedback about your manuscript. Based on this you decide, you need to change the story arc, rewrite the ending, and change some of the mythology in your book. But you figure, you haven't heard from the rest of your queries and it's been three months or so since you've sent them, so they must be rejections. In fact, you even blog about the death of your first novel and start working on a second book. Then, out of the blue, another full request comes in and now you have to do a month's worth of work in a week. What an idiot you would be. Don't be me  one of those people.

Okay, moving on.

For Face Off Friday, I will be selecting a topic that people have opposing opinions on. I will give both sides and then ask you, as commenters, to give you own opinion.

First in the ring: ADVERBS

On the Adverbs are Satan's spawn side:

The adverb is one of the most talked about parts of speech amongst writers. Pick up most writing books, and it will tell you that using adverbs should be avoided like the plague. Stephen King goes as far as saying that the road to hell is paved with adverbs.

The argument consist of the following:

-Adverbs are the sign of weak writing, particularly weak verbs. Why speak loudly when you should just yell?

-They tell instead of show.

-It's the lazy way. Ex.) He gazed at her tenderly vs. He gazed at her, brushing a wisp of hair off her face.

-They provide redundant information. Ex.) He yelled loudly. She ran quickly.

-They make the prose sound purple.

On the Adverbs are unfairly maligned side:

This side claims that murdering adverbs is just part of the current trend of our fast-moving, text-messaging, tweeting society. We want writing to be as succinct as possible. We don't have time to read all the flowery prose that the 1940s writers employed.

Their argument:

-Sometimes the adverb might be the absolute right work for the situation. Ex.)What would "through a glass, darkly" be without the adverb?

-Without adverbs and the other redheaded step child (dialogue tags), we're reduced to said, asked, and stated. Snore.

-Sometimes its hard to find a verb that fits what you're trying to say. Ex.) whispered loudly--you could say "said in a loud whisper" but if we're trying to be brief, what's better

-The general reading public are not bothered by them. Some of the bestsellers (most notably Twilight and Harry Potter) are notorious adverb abusers.

Case in point:

Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, onlyto appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in a half second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce.

… I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. … His lovely eyes seemed to glow with rash excitement. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive.

… He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart.

– Excerpted from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, pages, 264-265 (source)

I'll admit that I struggle with no adverb rule when I'm writing. A large chunk of my editing goes into finding these and figuring out a better way to say whatever I was trying to say. (Tip: do a Find/Search on "ly" in your document to unearth the little buggers.)

The first run through my novel, I wasn't aware of this rule. Wow. When I started reading on the craft and discovered this, I wanted to bang my head against the computer. Adverb (and dialogue tag) abuse didn't even begin to describe the first version of my novel.

So how about you? Do you struggle with this? Are there ever times where you think the adverb is needed? Are we being too hard on this lonely part of speech?