The Ten Stages of Revision Emotions

So this year I've been diligently working on the draft of the second book in my series, MELT INTO YOU. This one is tentatively scheduled to release sometime next summer, but the manuscript is due to my editor at the end of this month.

Well, I finished the draft a couple of weeks ago and sent it to Sara to get her feedback and to make sure I hadn't suffered from the dreaded second book syndrome. *shudders* Luckily, Sara liked the book and only had a few changes she suggested.

A few. But one was a biggie. She suggested I cut the murder mystery subplot and replace it with something different. Not a huge change in word count, but a very significant change with regards to the story's plot. Hence began my journey through the Stages of Revision Emotions.

The Ten Stages of Revision Emotions

Stage 1: Shock (You want me to change what?) or a "Dammit, that makes sense"

Okay, so in the list of revisions, there is usually one, maybe two, shockers. Your favorite scene needs to be cut or something you thought was vital gets the ax. But most of the time with Sara, her suggestions resonate with me in that "Damn, why didn't I see that?" way. Or she picks out things that were niggling at me but that I couldn't quite put my finger on. That's the gift of having someone with an editorial eye. They can see things you can't because you're too close to it.

Stage 2: Blind Confidence - "I can totally fix this."

This is when you get excited. Things don't look so hard or too bad. You just need to change A B and C and you're golden. La dee da, I'm the kickass writer girl.

Stage 3: The "Oh, Crap"

You actually sit down to make those seemingly innocuous changes and WHAM! you've just blasted your manuscript to swiss cheese. Plot holes are bleeding on your pages, threads with loose ends are flapping in the breeze, your characters have been flattened to road kill.

Stage 4: Sticking Your Fingers in Your Ears and Humming

You've hit the denial phase. This can't be done. If I make this change, I'll have to rewrite the whole book from scratch. My agent/editor must be crazy to think I could change this. It's impossible. I'm just going to leave it the way it is and turn it in. I am the writer, so I get the ultimate call on revisions anyway, right?

Stage 5: Despair

This book is a giant pile of stinking baby dung. I will never be able to fix it. I'm going to fade into oblivion and never be published again. How did I think this was a good story?

Stage 6: The Muse Taps Your Shoulder

"Who the hell are you? Oh yeah, I remember you, creative genius. Where the f*#% have you been you stingy, rat bastard?"

Stage 7: The Idea - *cue angels singing*

You're lying there in bed, taking a shower, talking yourself out of eating the entire cake because you're a talentless hack. And then it hits. The Idea. The way that will fix your book and achieve what your agent/editor wanted from this revision. You suddenly see the seemingly obvious fix and realize how dead on that revision advice was.

Stage 8: Mania

This is where you realize you have two weeks to make this brilliant change and you have oh, ten, twenty, thirty thousand words or whatever to write. You eat, sleep, and breathe your manuscript. The ideas flow and you're excited about this story again. Thrilled to see it turn into something way better than what you originally had. It's a high. People may want to put you in a white jacket.

Stage 9: Peace

You finish that bad boy and turn it in. Then you eat that whole cake anyway, but this time, it's because you've earned it. :)

Stage 10: Ah, hell.

You get another set of revisions back and the process starts all over again. :)

These stages also apply to getting feedback from crit partners and beta readers. The key, for me, is recognizing that I will get there. That when it seems I just am not good enough to fix it, an idea will come. But it won't necessarily happen day one after I get my revision notes. My mind needs time to process and stew before tackling things.

So how about you? Have you been through any of these stages? Any other stages you would add?

The Beta Club: Untitled Commercial Fiction - Come Critique!

Tuesday is here, which means it's time for the Beta Club!  Are you ready to put that critical eye to use?

If you're new to this feature, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

Also, Tina Lynn, our first Beta Club volunteer, has revised her excerpt based on our input.  She's posted the updated version on her blog.  Be sure to stop by and tell her what you think!

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below.

Author: Rebecca (visit her at Diary of a Virgin Novelist)
Title: Untitled
Genre: Commercial Fiction

Excerpt:

Daylight fought its way in aroundthe edges of the window shades and the old, dust-covered box fan rattled in thecorner of the room.  Eleanor cracked aneye open, disorientated.  Her mouth feltcarpeted and her shirt, the same flimsy, black top she’d worn to the bar thenight before, was damp with sweat.  Thebed was smooth and empty next to her; the clock on her husband, Andrew’s,nightstand read 10:07.  She wondered whatday it was.

Eleanor leapt from the bed.  There was something she was supposed to be doing.  From far away came the tinny sound of aphone.  Stumbling from the bedroom,pantless and little dizzy, she tried to find the noise.  Debris from her arrival home littered thecramped apartment – heels kicked off in the hallway, wool coat flung to thefloor, jeans balled up on the leather armchair – but no purse.  Eleanor’s heart seized in that panicky,hungover way that accompanies realizing you slept with someone ugly the nightbefore or cackled to a friend about her new boyfriend’s creepy small hands.  Eleanor could taste sour whiskey in the backof her throat.  And that damn phone wasstill ringing. 

Following the sound, Eleanorsnatched her coat off the floor. Searching through the pockets she found nothing but a five-dollar billand a slip of paper with a number scrawled across it.  Frustrated, Eleanor threw the coat to theground.  Looking down at the puddle ofgray material, Eleanor saw her bag right by her feet.  It had been under the coat the whole f***ingtime.  Wincing in pain from her throbbinghead and complete ineptitude, she dug the cell phone out and gingerly held itto her ear.

 “You’re up! I was afraid I was going to have to call you over and over to rouse youfrom the dead.” Andrew’s voice was clear and bright.  He was always so damn chipper in the morning.

“When did I get home last night?”

“Sometime after three AM,” Andrewsaid. “You told me you wanted to buy a Rottweiler so you could terrorize thekids in the neighborhood and then you passed out.”

“That must have been attractive,”Eleanor said as she wandered the 12 feet across the living room.  She knew it was 12 feet because she hadmeasured it in a fit of rage a few weeks after moving into the apartment.

“Very much so,” Andrewchuckled.  “Now, don’t forget yourinterview is at 11:30.  You need to getmoving.”

Eleanor peered at her image in themirror over the mantle.  Her normallyperfect, asymmetrical bob was matted and stuck to the back of her skull; blackeye makeup cut a trail down her face. “That’s right.  The interview.  I knew I had something to do today.”

“You’re going to be great.”Eleanor could hear him typing in the background. “Just be your normal,wonderful self.  If they ask why you leftyour last job just tell them what we practiced: you wanted to work for a smaller,more personable firm where you could have a larger impact.”

“And if they ask about thepenises?”

“They’re not going to ask aboutthe penises,” Andrew said, dropping his voice on the word penises.  “And if they do, say you made a youthfulindiscretion, you were going through a tough time in your personal life, youmade a horrendous mistake but sincerely hope that you will be given a secondchance.  Then redirect them to yourportfolio.  Your work stands for itself.”

“What are you typing?” Eleanorasked.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Eleanor walked backtowards the kitchen, praying for coffee. “I like this idea of a youthful indiscretion. I didn’t know those werestill allowed at 33.”

“I’m pretty sure that was yourlast one.” Eleanor could hear someone come in to Andrew’s office.

“What if I don’t want this job?”she said in a small voice.  There was noreply.  Eleanor could hear the muffledsounds of Andrew speaking to a woman, probably that toothy girl who worked insales and wore her hair in a ponytail.  Ahigh ponytail. 

“Sorry, Eleanor,” Andrew saidafter a beat, “It’s a busy day here. I’ve got to run but call me later. Good luck, honey.”

My critique is below.  Click on FULL SCREEN, then once in the document, right click to zoom so you can see the comments.

Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could be improved?  Thanks ahead of time for offering your feedback!

 

*Today's Theme Song**

"Morning After" - Dead By Sunrise

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

The Beta Club: Strings (YA Paranormal) - Come Critique!

It's Beta Club Thursday!  I've been so impressed with all of your feedback on the last few beta posts.  So thank you to everyone who has been participating.  You guys are awesome.


Now for today's entry.  Please take the time to read through the passage and offer the author feedback.  My detailed critique is below.

Title: Strings
Genre: Paranormal YA
Author: Tere Kirkland (visit her site and say hi)

Excerpt:
 
 

Blinding smoke chokes me as I dashinto our tiny bow-top wagon. Its wooden walls haven’t caught yet, but theywill, sending my home to the hereafter. Just like Papa. It’s been just over aweek since his death, but life without my sweet papa already seems unlivable.Now I’m losing my home, where he used to sing with me. Where he used to listento me play for hours. If I lose my violin, I might as well die, too.

I fling open the doors to my littlebunk, praying for its safety. Orange light flickers off its smooth surface,right where I left it, the bow nearby. You should have loosened the bow whenyou were done playing, Mara, comes Alex's voice in my head. A fine time forsuch a warning, when I'm risking my skin.

The wooden doors of my bunk are aflamenow, but the blanket is still unburned. I snatch it from the soft mattress,holding my violin tight to my chest and wrapping the blanket close. I canbarely breathe. Crouching down low, I stumble sightless toward the door I'dleft open while the flames eat away our beloved vardo. They'll eat menext if I stay any longer.

Mother is shouting outside."Sweet Saint Sara, save my baby girl!”

I try to croak that I’m here, but myfirst breath scorches my throat. Coughing drops me to the ground. The heat aloneis enough to suck most of the air from my chest. If I die, there'll be nothingleft of my possessions to burn. Nothing left of me to be remembered. Nothingbut my restless muló to haunt them.

I'd laugh at myself if it wouldn'tmean sucking in more smoke. Me, just another muló like old Kira and theTinker? Wouldn't they love to see me so? I grit my teeth. I'm determined tolive, if only to keep from spending the afterlife with those two chattering inmy dead ear.

Clutching my violin tight, I forcemyself to stand. I tuck my face under the blanket and make myself walk towardthe door—that painted door I know so well—quick as a match is struck.

I trip down the three steps and suckfresh air in, nearly collapsing. Mother runs to my side and clutches at thesooty blanket I’m coughing into. Even as she babbles at me through a mess oftears, I push her away. Not that I'm not glad to see her, but I see anotherface in the gathering crowd. The cold, manipulative face of Lucia Saray.

Old Kira stands unseen next to her,rubbing her bloodless hands and speaking threats that I alone can hear. OnlyLucia could have convinced Mother to send our vardo up in flames afterPapa died inside. Though today was his first pomana, the memorial supperheld nine days after his death, Mother still feared his spirit might haunt ourhome.

But she didn't have to worry aboutPapa's muló. Perhaps she wouldn’t have believed me, but I should havetold her so before she burned our vardo. Before she let Lucia take itfrom me. My punishment for chasing Alex away.

I thrust my violin and bow at Motherand drop the blanket to the ground. The wind whips it into the wheel of theclosest vardo where it flaps like a dying bird.

“Mara, what were you thinking?”Mother cradles my tiny violin as if it's a baby. “You’re lucky to be alive.”

“No thanks to that old hag,” I spit,stepping closer to Lucia.

The woman’s needle-like eyes narroweven further.

My sister Jeanette steps in betweenus. “Behave yourself, Mara. Have some respect for your elders if you’ve nonefor the dead.” Her grim-faced husband Hugo watches the fire from behind her forany signs it might spread to the other wagons.

Holding my chin up, as if that couldmake me any taller, I spin on my heel away from the judgment in their eyes. Awayfrom the cunning frozen smiles of the Tinker and Kira.

Fire licks at the painted sides ofthe bow-top wagon. Flame manes crown Papa’s painted mares, one each for me andmy two sisters. The little birds Mother kept bright with oil and wax havecurled and warped under the heat. For sixteen years I’ve called the vardohome and in less time than I could play an Irish jig, it’s been taken from me.And soon Jeannette will take Mother away, too. 

Below is my crit.  Click FULL SCREEN to view, then once in the document RIGHT CLICK to zoom in to see comments.


Strings-Crit by Roni


Alright, so what did you think of the passage?  Did it hook you?  What did the author do well?  What areas need some work?  Thanks ahead of time for taking the time to give feedback!

 
 

*Today's Theme Song**

"I Burn" - The Toadies

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Sifting Through Opposing Feedback

Photo by engineroomblog (click pic for link)

First, thanks so much for all of your nice comments and congratulations yesterday.  You guys are the bestest!

Now, because I had the opportunity to review the judges' comments and revise my submission before sending it along to the editor, I spent the entire afternoon yesterday obsessing over two paragraphs.  Last night, I finally hit the point of mostly happy with it and went ahead and sent it in.  If I looked at it any longer, I know I would have ended up changing too much.  The entry got me to the finals, so I'm trying to go with the ain't-broke-don't-fix-it (well, don't fix it too much) mentality--a philosophy that is hard for me to embrace at times. So I have officially let it go and am giving it over to the Fates at this point.

But as I was going through the judges' comments and emailing back and forth with my crit group to get their input, my head started to swim.  It's amazing how subjective this whole writing thing is.  One reader will point out how much they love something, then another one will say I totally blew that part.  

When I threw out options to my crit partners, each had different opinions of which version I should go with (and gave completely valid rationales behind why there opinion was such.)  I'd read one of their suggestions, and be like, yes that makes so much sense.  But then I'd read another's opposing opinion and her reasoning, and be like, damn, that makes total sense too.  Gah!  

So it makes me wonder, how do you know which advice to take and which to toss? Ultimately, I went with what had the best "feel" to me when I read it out loud, but believe me, I agonized over every freaking word.

So how about you?   When you get opposing opinions that all make sense, how do you determine your course?  

 

**Today's Theme Song**

"Brain Stew" - Green Day

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Overediting: Sucking the Life Right Out of Your Story

I had the pleasure of attending my local RWA chapter meeting last Saturday and hearing author Catherine Spangler talk about "Writing Right".  She gave a great overview of the most common writing mistakes she sees when judging contests and critiquing.  We've talked about many of them here, but one that stuck out for me was the mistake of overediting.

She said sometimes she sees work where the writing is technically good, clean, and flows, but there is no life in the work.  Writing is ultimately a passion driven practice.  That's what we're doing when we're drafting; we're letting our creative juices and excitement about the story spill onto the pages.  This is the essence of a our writing.

And oftentimes, when we put our editor hat on and go back through our work, we become story vampires--sucking the lifeblood from our words.  We polish and cut and rearrange, we nix the adverbs and dangling participles, we make sure no dialogue is buried.  These things are all well and good and you want to edit and rewrite and polish.  But you also don't want to do so much that you leave your story pale and gasping for air.

For instance, in my YA, if I had cut every adverb, my MC's voice would have changed.  She was the type of girl who would use words like totally and completely and seriously.  If I had nixed those, I think it would have taken something from who her character was.

Think of it like chicken soup.  Your grandmother's always tastes better than Campbell's (well unless you're grandma can't cook).  Campbell's is technically perfect-every ingredient precisely measured, the cooking exactly timed, taste tester approved, but it's sterile.  Your grandmother, on the other hand, after years of practicing her craft, can throw in a bit of this or that and always make it taste great.  Why?  Because she put her heart and her own spin on it.  This is what needs to be in our stories.

So make sure you edit and cut and revise--those things are absolutely necessary.  But take care not to drain the life out of your book.  Keep the heart of your story in tact.  (BTW, the delish picture above is to remind you guys that The Vampire Diaries starts up again tonight on the CW--yay).

So how about you?  Have you ever been a story vampire and overedited?  Have you critted work that seemed like it was written well but lacked that spark?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Drain You" - Nirvana

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Know When to Hold 'Em, Know When to Fold 'Em

I've been staring into space for way too many hours this week and not writing.  Why?  Because I've gotten to around the 20k mark in my WIP and am just not happy.  I know where the plot is going, know what's supposed to happen.  There are some scenes I really enjoy.  However, I'm not liking what the plot is doing to my characters.  I like my characters, love them actually.  But this story is turning them whiny and weak, which has made the chemistry between them lackluster.  And I don't want to write weak characters.  Damaged?  Yes.  But strong nonetheless.

So I've spent the week trying to figure out how I can adjust the plot to make the characters come to life the way I want them too, but haven't found a solution.  I've read and reread what I have and it's not becoming any clearer.  So I figured I had three options:

Standby--stop writing for a few days, just let the words simmer, relax my mind, try to come up with solutions

This didn't work, so I went to phase two.

Turn Off--I gave myself two days completely off from dealing with it.  I read, I caught up on my critting, worked on reading through the contest entries I'm judging for the Golden Heart.

But when I came back and read through my chapters, I still hadn't come up with any solution.  So now I'm going to the most extreme of all phases, the control+alt+delete of writing.

Restart--I've decided to scrap the words (well save them in a file) and start fresh with the same characters but a completely new plot.  So page one, chapter one, here I come again.  *sigh*

I hate to do it, but I'd rather scrap 20k words I don't like, then keep writing and end up with 60k I loathe.  And since all great life wisdom is buried in old country songs, I'm going to take Kenny Rogers advice:  You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.

So has this ever happened to you?  How far have you gotten in a WIP before you decided you had to scrap and reboot?  

**Daily reminder: The Win a Crit contest is still open, here's the link for those of you that still want to enter.  You only have until tomorrow to do so!**


 
 
 
 

**Today's Theme Song**

"The Gambler" - Kenny Rogers

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Story Layers: Finding Your Guacamole

Photo by erin.kkr (click pic for link)

Many of you brave souls are deep in the trenches of NaNoWriMo crafting that fast draft at break neck speed, hoping to reach the finish line. But after the calendar clicks over to December 1, what's next? Revising sure, but what kind of revising?

You're going to need more than grammar fixes and word cutting. What most of you will have is a skeleton of a story with characters and conflict holding it together--a solid base on which you can create something great. But you're going to have to add some meat (and guacamole), layers--like the dip above--otherwise, you'll just have a big pile of bland beans.

Layering Your Novel after the First Draft

 

1. Put movement into each scene to give bodies to the talking heads.

--People don't usually just stay there and talk and sigh, they do things.

2. Insert the senses into a scene.

--We often rely too much on vision in that first draft. We experience things in the world through all five senses, make sure your character does too.

3. Pump up your setting descriptions.

--This is always a trouble area for me. When I'm writing that first draft, I don't want to waste time describing how a house looks, but it's necessary (in moderation) to ground your reader and enrich the scene.

4. Inject emotion into scenes

--Many times we get so wrapped up in A happens then B then C that we forget to put in those internal reaction and emotions. Ever read a love scene that read like an instruction manual? Ugh. Without emotion the scene will fall flat.

5. Beef up your dialogue

--Find places where you just got the words out and layer in some character voice. And make sure your dialogue reads realistic.

6. Sneak in backstory

--In first drafts, I tend to info dump backstory. Go back, chop up the chunks and sprinkle it throughout. (like the olives in the dip)

7. Foreshadowing

--Sometimes when your start, you don't have the end in mind. Once you're done with draft one, you know the secret. Now you can go back and tuck little hints to foreshadow.

8. Tighten tension

--Tension is an art of pacing. In the first run through, a scene that was intended to be tense may fall short because it was rushed. Go back, slow it down, stretch the tension until taut.

9. Add humor (if appropriate)

--There are usually moments you passed up that were great opportunities to elicit a smile from your reader or strengthen your character's voice with a little humor/sarcasm.

10. Weave in subplots.

--Now that you have the main plot hammered out, enhance your story with a subplot here and there.

11. Break out the thesaurus

--I usually can't think of the exact write word the first time around--especially with verbs. So I use my favorite goto words and some adverbs. Then, during revisions, I find/search those words and replace them with something that is stronger and more fitting.

--Words I use ad nauseum in a first draft: walked, looked, stood, smiled, pulled, pushed, just, back, eyebrows, hand/s, sighed, sat

--If you're not sure what your addiction words are, go to Wordle and paste in your manuscript, your drugs of choice will be the biggest words. Here's my revised novel's Wordle:

As you can see I still have some work to do with a few words, but you should have seen it before, "just" was like a billboard, lol.

source: the art of layering

So what ingredients does your first draft usually need most? Do you typically finish the first draft and then do these layers? Or, do you do it smaller chunks--going back after finishing a chapter and pumping it up? What other things do you do to elevate that humble rough draft?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Elevation"-- U2

(player in sidebar, take a listen to do it old school)

Wordiness: The Post in Which I Discuss Reduction of the Aforementioned

I'm a wordy girl. In school, the teachers used to tell us the minimum amount of pages required for a paper. While others were trying to figure out what font would fill the maximum amount of space (Courier New, btw), I would be trying to get my paper under fifteen pages. So I know I have to watch this tendency when I'm writing.

The terrific resources on the RWA site helped me out again. Here are some things to help cut the fluff out of your manuscript.

1. Eliminate and remove redundancy.

Fluffy: She sobbed and tears fell from her eyes as she watched him walk away.

Sleek: Tears fell from her eyes as he walked away.

2. Delete intensifiers that don't intensify.

F: Generally, Mary kept her very deepest emotions hidden.

S: Mary kept her deepest emotions hidden.

(or even better: Mary hid her deepest emotions.)

3. Remove important sounding phrases that don't add to a sentence.

F: All things considered, she was thankful for the outcome.

S: She was thankful for the outcome.

4. Avoid starting sentences with expletives.

No, this doesn't mean curse words. An expletive according to Webster is : "a syllable, word, or phrase inserted to fill a vacancy without adding to the sense." That should tell us all we need to know. (it was, there are, etc)

F: It was his eyes that made her heart beat faster.

S: His eyes made her heart beat faster.

(Or better: His eyes made her heart pound.)

 

5. Use active instead of passive voice whenever you can.

F: The dishes were washed after dinner by my mother.

S: After dinner, my mother washed the dishes.

6. Reduce clauses to phrases, and reduce phrases to single words.

F: In the very near future, she would have to make a decision.

S: Soon, she would have to decide.

 

7. Remove adjective clauses where you can.

 

F: The girl who lived next door wore a dress that had pink stripes.

S: The girl next door wore a pink striped dress.

 

8. Turn prepositional phrases into one-word modifiers.

F: The captain of the football team always dated the prettiest of the cheerleaders.

S: The football team captain always dated the prettiest cheerleader.

 

9. Cut extraneous words or phrases.

F: We conducted an investigation regarding the murder.

S: We investigated the murder.

 

10. Remove cliches and euphemisms.

F: He had a sneaking suspicion his protests were falling on deaf ears.

S: He suspected they were ignoring his protests.

 

11. Weed out the "to be".

F: Sue found the children to be exhausting.

S: Sue found the children exhausting.

 

12. Avoid stating the obvious.

F: He sat down and realized it was already 6am in the morning.

S: He sat and realized it was already 6am.

 

*This a personal favorite of mine. I naturally write "stood up"--like where else can you stand but up? Grr. I do it all the time.

13. Delete meaningless adverbs.

F: She yelled at him loudly, then ran away quickly.

S: She yelled at him and ran.

 

The source that I pulled this from also has fantastic lists of

Redundant Phrases like

absolutely essential = essential

future plans = plans

Wordy Phrases

A lot of = many

Come to an end = end

And Cliches

sad but true

give a damn

So are any of you wordy like me? Which of these do you find cropping up in your manuscript the most?

And in honor of the amazing U2 concert I attended last night, a song that has a single word title but says so much...

**Today's Theme Song**

"One" - U2

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

Perfectionism is Slow Death

Photo by Cindy See

This picture made me laugh because there is actually a guy down my street who sits in his grass and trims it with a hand tool and picks through it like he's a momma monkey plucking fleas off her young. And his lawn does look great, but honestly, it doesn't look all that different from my yard, which just gets cut the regular old way.

So this got me to thinking about perfectionism when writing. When do we know it's time to stop editing and revising? How can we tell when detail orientation has turned into obsessive perfectionism?

I have trouble finding this line. I'm a perfectionist by nature. Case in point: You do not want to know how much time I spent revamping the format of this blog over last few days. If something was a half inch too far to the right or whatever, it drove me crazy until I could figure out how to fix it. And these obsessive tendencies definitely bleed into my writing. Every time I read through my manuscript, I can find something to change. On good days, this may be a word that needs to be changed or punctuation that needs to be fixed. On bad days, this could be a whole plot thread I want to rewrite.

And of course, editing, revising and a detailed eye are vital for creating a great manuscript, but seeking perfection is a losing battle. It won't be perfect. Ever. So how do we know when we've reached this point...

So you tell me, how do you know when to stop? What's your litmus test for knowing the manuscript is ready to send out to the world?

Also, as a bonus today, some laughs for a gray Monday and helpful links:

• Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (who you should check out if you're not familiar--they're hilarious) held a contest for renaming this terrible romance book cover. Make sure you read the comments--I was rolling.

• Cracked.com did their own snarky synopsizing of the four Twilight books. This is a must read. Here's a taste:

Three hundred pages after "Oh, you like me too? No way, I thought you hated me!", the plot arrives late to the party, drunk, in a beat-up '53 Chevy pick-up truck. It drives away about fifty pages later and crashes into a tree, gets sent to the hospital, and is rarely heard from again throughout the course of the series.

• Kidlit.com (agent Mary Kole's website) is holding a query contest for YA/MG/picture books. If you win, she will crit the first thirty pages of of your manuscript. How awesome is that?

• Over at Miss Snark's First Victim, she's holding another Secret Agent contest. You post your first 250 words and a mystery agent comments (along with readers). Then the agent picks a winner and typically requests a partial. (She gets biggie agents to do this, so a great opportunity.) This month it's only open to Adult books (no YA) of any genre except SF/F or erotica. Contest opens at noon today.

Hope everyone has a great day!

**Today's Theme Song**

"Perfect" - Simple Plan

(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

*title is quote by Hugh Prather*

Work In Progress Wednesday #4

*wipes sweat off forehead* Hallelujah. I just fixed my internet. After spending my entire evening on the phone with Time Warner (fun times), I went to bed and still had no internet. This morning, nothing had changed. So I've spent the last two hours playing with buttons and functions I shouldn't touch and lo and behold--internet! I have no idea what I did to fix it (something about DNS servers and IP addresses, who knows), but I'm not complaining.

Okay, so now for good 'ol WIP Wednesday. The one benefit of having no internet yesterday was that I was able to finish the rough draft of Wanderlust. Woo-hoo! It's a thousand words shy of where I wanted to be, but I'm a layerer. When I revise, I add words vs. cut, so I don't doubt that it will get to where it needs to be during revision. Therefore, I'm going to focus on the fact that I was able to type THE END. :)

As for the other manuscript, it is now with two agents. I sent out my newly revised query letter a week or so ago and received a request for a partial! :) So that means one agency has a full, the other a partial. I'm sure it will be a decent wait to hear back from either of them, but I'll let everyone know when I have more info.

This week has also been a good week for contests for me. I won a three chapter critique from Once Upon a Crime, so I'm excited about that. I'll let ya'll know how it goes. And I also was selected for a spot in a romance critique group, Rumored Romantics, over at Lynnette Labelle's site Chatterbox Chitchat. I'm really happy about becoming a member because I have been wanting to join a critique group for a while. Hopefully, all these things will help me grow as a writer.

So I think that's it for now. I'll be spending my day doing some beta reading and critiquing since I was sans computer yesterday.

How's your WIP going? Feel free to leave a link for your WIP post in the comments.

Work In Progress Wednesday #3

I'm a week behind on this update, so this is actually going to be my progress over the last two weeks.

First, I would like to give a shout out (do people still say that or am I a complete dork? lol) to Lynnette at Chatterbox Chit Chat for giving me the Kreativ blogger award. Since I just posted on that award a few days ago, I will spare you seven more things about me. I'm not that interesting. But I wanted to thank Lynette and also recommend her site to those of you who haven't checked it out yet. She has some great information over there.

Also, I am so excited to see that I have hit 50 followers. Thanks you guys! I feel so lucky to have met so many great people since I've started blogging. Who knew this could be so fun?

Alright, now for the nitty gritty.

I was cruising along on my current WIP the week before last. I added 4k words and am now within a chapter and epilogue of finishing the first draft. I probably would have finished if not for the surprise request from that agent on my previous novel. I immediately put down my current project to dive back into that one and make the necessary edits (based on a previous agent's feedback).

So last week, I did nothing but revise that novel. I didn't blog, I barely slept, my toddler watched way too much Barney, my husband cooked dinner for the first time in probably a year. I stayed up until 2am each night. It was ugly. I went line by line. I murdered prologues, cut entire chapters, and executed adverbs and dialogue tags without mercy. I also rewrote three entire chapters, reworked the mythology, and completely changed the ending. By the end of the week, I had written 6500 new words. The process was hellacious but I am much happier with the new version, so hopefully the agent likes it too.

So that's it for me. How's your WIP going?

This Magic Moment

What separates a novel from being just good to being great? We can talk about plot points and characterizations and originality. All of those things, of course, count for a lot. However, what seems to really define the difference for me is if I remember parts of the book (or movie) for years to come. I could enjoy a book, feel drawn in, feel satisfied when I'm done, but if you ask me in a year or two and I can't remember much about it, then maybe the book wasn't great (or maybe I'm my long term memory is just getting worse--always a possibility.)

So that got me to thinking about what makes a novel particularly memorable. In Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb's Your First Novel (a great resource, btw), they argue that a novel is memorable because of the moments an author creates. They define five main types of moments that make a story stick with us for long after we've closed the book.

1. Opening Hearts

These are the moments that are either filled with joy or sorrow. These are often the heartbreaking moments that make us cry.

ex.) In Titanic when Rose has to let go of Jack's hand in the water. In Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet awakes to find Romeo dead.

2. Instilling Fear

These are the moments that scare the bejesus out of us. These scenes are the ones that make us get up to check and make sure that we've locked the front door.

ex.) In the movie The Ring when the little girl steps out of the tv. In Stephen King's (who is the master at this type of moment) The Shining when the wife finds the stacks of typed pages that say "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

3. Raising the Temperature

These moments, for lack of a more delicate way of putting it, turn us on. This doesn't necessarily mean sex; it could be a simple kiss, but it hits a hot button.

Ex.) In the Mortal Instruments series, the scene with Jace and Clary in the fairy court. In Charlaine Harris' Sookie books, (hmm, there are so many, where to start), I'll say in the fourth one Dead to the World, the shower scene with Sookie and Eric. (By the way, did anyone see True Blood last night? Talk about raising the temperature, whew. :) But I digress.)

4. Getting a Laugh

These are the moments that make us laugh out loud while we're reading, even though we're in the middle of the airport and everyone turns to look at us. My husband gets particularly annoyed with me when I hit these in a book because he feels left out on the joke.

ex.) In Knocked Up when the friend walks into the delivery room and she screams in her most demonic voice for him to get out.

5. Winning Victories

This is the part of the book that we're all waiting for. The hero gets the girl/guy, the murder is solved, the bad guy is caught/killed, the war is won, etc.

Ex.) The examples are all over the place. Every book and movie has one of these, it's the climax. But the key is to make the reader really care about getting there. We have to feel personally invested in the outcome. If not, we're left cold.

So what do you think? Do you have these in your own book? Are these types of moments what make you remember a story? Also, what are some of your favorite moments that stayed with you long after the end of the book or movie?

Face Off Friday: Adverbs

The votes are in. You guys have chosen Face Off for the weekly Friday theme. Thanks to those of you who voted!

So, first a quick update, since I have been absent for most of this week. I have spent the last four days in a manic state of revising. The manuscript, thankfully, is now on its way to the agent's hands. She estimates she'll get back to me within eight weeks.

Word of warning to anyone out there: Say (as a completely hypothetical example) you are querying, and you've gotten a few rejections, some with feedback about your manuscript. Based on this you decide, you need to change the story arc, rewrite the ending, and change some of the mythology in your book. But you figure, you haven't heard from the rest of your queries and it's been three months or so since you've sent them, so they must be rejections. In fact, you even blog about the death of your first novel and start working on a second book. Then, out of the blue, another full request comes in and now you have to do a month's worth of work in a week. What an idiot you would be. Don't be me  one of those people.

Okay, moving on.

For Face Off Friday, I will be selecting a topic that people have opposing opinions on. I will give both sides and then ask you, as commenters, to give you own opinion.

First in the ring: ADVERBS

On the Adverbs are Satan's spawn side:

The adverb is one of the most talked about parts of speech amongst writers. Pick up most writing books, and it will tell you that using adverbs should be avoided like the plague. Stephen King goes as far as saying that the road to hell is paved with adverbs.

The argument consist of the following:

-Adverbs are the sign of weak writing, particularly weak verbs. Why speak loudly when you should just yell?

-They tell instead of show.

-It's the lazy way. Ex.) He gazed at her tenderly vs. He gazed at her, brushing a wisp of hair off her face.

-They provide redundant information. Ex.) He yelled loudly. She ran quickly.

-They make the prose sound purple.

On the Adverbs are unfairly maligned side:

This side claims that murdering adverbs is just part of the current trend of our fast-moving, text-messaging, tweeting society. We want writing to be as succinct as possible. We don't have time to read all the flowery prose that the 1940s writers employed.

Their argument:

-Sometimes the adverb might be the absolute right work for the situation. Ex.)What would "through a glass, darkly" be without the adverb?

-Without adverbs and the other redheaded step child (dialogue tags), we're reduced to said, asked, and stated. Snore.

-Sometimes its hard to find a verb that fits what you're trying to say. Ex.) whispered loudly--you could say "said in a loud whisper" but if we're trying to be brief, what's better

-The general reading public are not bothered by them. Some of the bestsellers (most notably Twilight and Harry Potter) are notorious adverb abusers.

Case in point:

Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, onlyto appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in a half second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce.

… I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. … His lovely eyes seemed to glow with rash excitement. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive.

… He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart.

– Excerpted from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, pages, 264-265 (source)

I'll admit that I struggle with no adverb rule when I'm writing. A large chunk of my editing goes into finding these and figuring out a better way to say whatever I was trying to say. (Tip: do a Find/Search on "ly" in your document to unearth the little buggers.)

The first run through my novel, I wasn't aware of this rule. Wow. When I started reading on the craft and discovered this, I wanted to bang my head against the computer. Adverb (and dialogue tag) abuse didn't even begin to describe the first version of my novel.

So how about you? Do you struggle with this? Are there ever times where you think the adverb is needed? Are we being too hard on this lonely part of speech?

The Opening Scene: A Litmus Test

 

Friday I blogged about opening lines and pages and their importance. (Thanks for those who gave feedback on my lines, btw!) Based on the comments I received, I am clearly not the only one who freaks out over openings. This, of course, sent me to my piles of writing books to see what the pros had to say about the opening scene.

One of my favorite writing books Make a Scene: Crafting a Powerful Story One Scene at a Time by Jordan Rosenfeld (If you don't have it, get it. The book breaks down the elements of a scene and also goes over types of scenes--dramatic/contemplative/action/flashback etc.) Anyway, the book also has a great litmus test for what needs to be present in an opening scene.

Below are the basic components. I'll put my completed novel to the test as an example and see how it goes.

1. A challenge to your protagonist's status quo.

Ex.) My MC (Willow) finds out that she's received a scholarship to a stuck-up private school out of state. She doesn't want to go. She's found her safe niche at her current school and doesn't want to mess things up.

Thoughts: I think this works. A new school and state would threaten any teen's status quo.

2. An antagonist for your character to encounter. (Doesn't have to be THE antagonist.)

Ex.) Willow's mother wants her to take the scholarship and argues with her.

Thoughts: Perhaps my antagonist and conflict could be stronger. She loves her mother, so although they argue, Willow holds back a lot.

3. Introduce your protagonist's immediate intentions.

ex.) Willow likes to blend in, to play things low key. She has to figure out a way to talk her mom out of moving her to a new school.

Thoughts: I think her intentions are pretty obvious, so this probably works.

4. A glimpse into your MC's history/personality/motivation.

ex.) Willow responses to her mother show her to be sarcastic, smart, and self-deprecating. But also loving and concerned about making her mother happy. In many ways, we see that she has taken on an adult role to offset her mother's flightiness.

Thoughts: I could probably add more heft in my opening for this component to clarify my MC's motivation

5. The protagonist makes a decision that leads immediately to more complications.

ex.) Willow decides to accept the scholarship, which of course leads to the whole rest of the story.

Thoughts: This decision changes everything in her life, so I think this works.

Okay, so putting my scene to these standards definitely shows me some holes I could work on.

What do you think? Are these components a good summary of what you like to read/write in an opening scene? Think back to your favorite books, do they follow these guidelines? Can you think of any other "must haves" in an opening?

Wordle--A Unexpected Tool for Revisions

A while back, someone mentioned wordle.net in the comment section of a blog I read (I can't remember which one.) This tool creates a word cloud of any text you paste in the program. Aside from being fun to do, it lets you paste your whole novel in the box. The resulting word cloud will tell you which words you overuse (those will be the largest words in the cloud) in your novel. Great for getting the big picture. I realized after I ran my first novel through it that my characters were sighing a whole lot. :) Here's an example using the text from this blog. Click on the box and it will bring you to the wordle site. Enjoy!