What Will Make an Agent "Gong" Your Query

February 28, 2011 Roni Loren

This weekend I had the privilege of attending the DFW Writer's conference. It was a lot of fun and I even got to meet some bloggy/twitter friends who I hadn't had the chance to meet before. Below is a pic of me with the lovely Genevieve Wilson and Dawn Alexander.

I went to a lot of different workshops, but one of the most entertaining and informative sessions of the conference were the two agent "Gong" shows. The setup was simple. Each agent had a gong, anonymous queries were read aloud, and agents would hit their gong when they would've stopped reading. It was quite hilarious, but I also learned a lot of things about what they are and are NOT looking for in a query letter. So I thought I'd pass some of those along.

WHAT COULD GET YOU "GONGED" BY AN AGENT

1. Opening with a question.
Most of us have heard this, but there was still a query in the bunch that did this. It got instantly gonged.

2. Vampires
You have to be REALLY REALLY different to get them to even consider another vampire novel.

3. Cancer
In and of itself, it may be an important issue in a book, but there were at least four queries where cancer seemed thrown in to up the dramatic effect. "There's this and this and this! Plus, someone has cancer!"

4. Too many things/issues/characters/plotlines.
This was one that the agents said a lot. Stories that seemed to have too many different things going on, too many characters, or too many plotlines listed in the query lost their interest. Stick to the hook!

5. Describing your own writing.
Don't tell them in your query that your story is fascinating, fast-paced, touching, whatever. Show them the story, not what you think of your own writing. One agent gonged out when the first sentence said "This is a fascinating story of..."

6. Cliches and tropes
Overused and tired phrases in the query got you gonged. If you're using them in the query, the agents suspect they'll be in your book. "Her life will be forever changed"..."The last thing she expected was"..."love is blind"...etc. Plus, cliched storylines as well--girl finding a diary with secrets, person finding a portal, romantic suspense where the wife suspects husband is up no good, the woman who loses her husband and goes a small town to rebuild her life, etc.

7. Inauthentic voice
There was a YA one that used "awesome" "buttload" and "stupid" all in the first two sentences. It sounded like an adult trying to do teenspeak. Didn't work at all.

8. Stuff Happens
Queries where there was a lists of events but no hook or central conflict described.

9. Teens and the elderly
This is a bit random, but there were a few queries that were pitched at YA where the story is the teen gaining wisdom from an older person. They shot these down. Teens don't want to read about old people. They don't care what older people have to say when they are that age and so they aren't going to want to read about that.

10. September 11th plotline
All the agents literally groaned. Some said it was still too close of a topic for them to personally work with. Remember, most of these agents live in NYC, 9/11 was a national tragedy but for those on the front lines realize that it's got to be even more traumatic to relive.

11. Going on and on and on....(kind of like this post :p )
They want to hook, the main character(s), and what's at stake. That's really about it. Do not give a synopsis posing as a query.

12. If you do the "it's this meets this" kind of hook, don't use two movies. Use at least one book in the comparison to show that you are well-read in your own genre.
And don't compare to the GIANT books. Twilight, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Hunger Games--they're used so much that the comparisons don't meant anything anymore.

13. And finally, MAKE EVERY WORD SERVE A PURPOSE and BE SPECIFIC.
So many queries had a whole lot of words but said nothing. It's a tale of love and loss and redemption. Of good and evil. Of whatever other completely vague abstract concepts you can think of. That may be a theme in your story but that is not what it's about. The agents want to know what your story is specifically about. Do not waste words talking about abstract things. Every word must give them something that you haven't already said and that speaks to the uniqueness of your story.

I'm sure there were more, but those were the ones that stuck out most in my mind. So do any of these surprise you? What do you think of this feedback?

Writing Journey Rewind: Mourning the Death of the First Novel

November 3, 2010 Roni Loren

So a lot has happened to me over the last few months. The goal of landing a dream agent and getting a publishing contract has come to fruition. I feel beyond lucky and excited. And many of you have been with me on this journey from the beginning, but there are also many, many of you who have tuned in over the last couple of months when everything started to happily snowball for me so have only seen the good news.

Therefore, I thought today, I would pull out a blog post from a year and a half ago when things weren't going so well. When I had experienced the let down of the failed first novel. I'm sharing this because being a writer is full of self-doubt and will-it-ever-be me syndrome. It's a daunting task to do something as personal as writing a book, then facing rejection over and over again. So I want to share the post to show how much a year and half can change.

And I hope you take this lesson from it: KEEP WRITING! Don't get hung up on that one book. Move on, keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!

So here we go (July 16, 2009):

Mourning the Death of the First Novel

So I finished my first novel, Shadow Falls (paranormal YA) a few months ago. (Well, my first one that counts. The one in high school, well, a novel it was not.) I toiled and tweaked and edited and obsessed. I wrote and rewrote my query, frantically checking query shark to make sure I didn't make any well-known mistakes. I went through a crisis of self-esteem before hitting send on my first agent query--the oh so attractive, sweaty, shaky, I-obviously-can't-put-two-words-together-so-why-am-I-even-bothering stage. This stage was quickly followed by the "is my email working? is my spam filter too strong? why is it not dinging with new emails from agents?" phase. Yes, I know they say to expect a response no sooner than a few weeks or months, but I plugged my ears and sang show tunes to avoid accepting that knowledge.

To my surprise, many responded within two weeks, which made the immediate gratification monster inside me very happy indeed. Unfortunately, most of those responses were form rejections. However, to my great delight (and surprise), I received two request for partials and two requests for fulls pretty quickly from biggie, dream agents. Of course, I was already picturing my book on the shelf despite knowing my chances were still slim. After a few weeks (two months was the longest), I received three form rejections. Total bummer. Looped back to low self-esteem phase.

Then, this week, I received my rejection on the final full I had out. However, this time the agent personalized it. The lovely note contained the words "you are clearly a very talented writer" (woo-hoo) and that my story "had lots of teen appeal" (kickass). However, the story wasn't different enough from what was out there in a now saturated teen paranormal market. (sigh) Then, she asked that if I didn't find an agent this time around, she hoped I would query her on my next project. (Backing away from the ledge).

So, I'm considering the rejection a victory. I still have a few queries floating around, but my hope meter for this first book is definitely on low. I am mourning it's gentle death and will be burying it in the drawer soon. Perhaps it can be resurrected another day with some rewrites. In the meantime, onward and upward. I'm halfway through writing the first draft of a romance novel.

Lessons learned from novel #1: a) I don't totally suck b) I can write a query letter and c) I can handle rejection (mostly)

***

I remember feeling really down the day I wrote that, but now I am so happy I went through that experience. It taught me a lot. So what lessons did your first novel teach you?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Move Along" - All-American Rejects

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Deal Breakers: Do You Know What Yours Are?

September 14, 2010 Roni Loren

So, guest bloggers will continue tomorrow (haven't they been so fab?), but I thought I'd pop in today and say hi. I'm excited to report that I've finished this round of major rewrites/revisions for Agent Sara! *dances around in a circle* Now it's in her hands. Hopefully she likes the changes--if not, then back to the trenches I go. But for now, I'll hope for the best. :D

Now, what I thought I'd talk about today is this whole idea of rewrites. I know all of us understand that our work will need editing and revision once an agent or publisher takes us on. No matter how perfect we think we've gotten it, there is only so much we can do without a professional, unbiased eye.

That's good news and bad news.

The good news is that as long as your story has strong writing, a great concept, and marketability (piece of cake, right?) then an agent or publisher won't let a few things that need reworking stand in the way of taking you on.

The bad news? You're going to be faced with the issue of what you are and are not willing to change in your book. How emotionally attached are you to your words, characters, concept, etc.?

Before Sara offered me representation, she emailed me a long list of editorial notes about pretty major things she would like me to change. She did this to make sure that before she offered to rep me, that we had the same vision. I really appreciated this heads up because it put the ball in my court--were these things I was willing to change?

I read through the feedback and let it sink in overnight. My initial reaction? I was daunted by the amount of work that would be involved with those changes. It made me wonder if I was capable of changing all those things while still making the rest of the story work. So basically a little wave of maybe-I'm-not-good-enough panic.

Then, as it settled in, I realized--wow, these things will make the book so much stronger and deeper. I would love to be able to reach that level with this story. So, obviously, I agreed to the changes and then went through a whirlwind three weeks of fixing all of it (hopefully successfully.) In the end, I had to cut about 20k words, and no--that's not because I like words and had overwritten--no, I was right at my word count, so I had to cut those 20k and then replace them with completely new stuff. That writing new stuff was fun, but definitely the most difficult part because changing one thing in one part of the book has a domino effect on everything else.

But anyway, here's what it got me to thinking about (and discussing with Sierra Godfrey)--do you have deal breakers? Changes that, if asked, you wouldn't be willing to do. And if you have those things, would you be able to possibly turn down an agent/publisher because your visions didn't align?

For instance, what if Sara had asked me to nix my happy ending and go in the erotica direction instead of erotic romance? That is something I wouldn't want to compromise because I'm at heart, a romantic. I want to write books with happy endings. It's who I am. And as you know, once you start publishing in one genre, it's not always easy to jump into something else--so you better like what you're writing from the start.

Thankfully, Sara's and my vision aligned and none of the changes she asked for changed the essence of what I wanted my story to be and in fact, made me like my story better. But it's definitely something to keep in mind when you're on the search for an agent/publisher.

Now, it's important not to have a laundry list of deal breakers. After all, this business is about collaborative effort. We aren't the be all end all as the author. However, I also think it's vital to know what you are just not willing to compromise.

So, I'm curious, do you have any deal breakers? Would you consider turning down an offer if someone asked you to change something that just didn't feel right for you or your career?

**Today's Theme Song**
"If I Can't Have You" - Kelly Clarkson

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

How I Got My Agent and How Blogging Played a Role

August 24, 2010 Roni Loren

Okay, so first I have to say I'm overwhelmed by all the congratulations, well wishes, and warm comments from everyone yesterday. Thank so much, y'all! My news was that much sweeter because I had so many fabulous people to celebrate with. I've never come across such a supportive and genuine community of people as I have with writers. I'm regularly amazed at how kind-hearted and giving everyone is to each other.

In fact, that online writerly support played a big role in getting the ball rolling with my agent. At the beginning of June, I got an email from the lovely and fabulous Natalie Bahm. (Btw, if you're not following her awesome blog, get on it.) Natalie said that Sara, her agent, was going to RWA Nationals and was looking to sign a few more romance writers before the conference.

Natalie knew what I wrote because we were blog friends and she'd read a few excerpts I'd posted here and saw my contest wins, so she offered to give me a referral. I also got a message from a Twitter friend (and another of Sara's clients) Miranda Kenneally offering to read some of my stuff and possibly offer a referral as well. (See how wonderful and generous writers are?)

Unfortunately, my book (Exposure Therapy - the erotic romantic suspense) wasn't quite ready. I had a few chapters to finish and then needed to put it through beta readers, revisions, etc. As much as it pained me to pass up the chance with such a great agent, I didn't want to send something that wasn't polished. Natalie (because she's awesome like that) assured me that she'd give me a referral whenever I was ready to query.

So I went to RWA Nationals, my book ready to go (thanks to my uber fast, super helpful beta reader J. Leigh Bailey), and set about learning any last details I could before I queried. Sara spoke at the PRO Retreat on an agent panel and I really liked what she had to say. She seemed friendly and approachable, and she was one of the few that talked about the importance of an author having an online presence while they are trying to get an agent.

So I came back home, chose my top five agents I wanted to query, then contacted Natalie to see if she was still cool with the referral. She definitely was and had me send a query and partial to Sara (allowing me to skip the query only first step--yay!). Sara contacted me a few days later and asked for the full. I was beside myself, but knew not to get too excited yet. Back when I queried my YA, I had a number of full requests that didn't pan out. Not to mention, I follow Kristin Nelson's blog, so I know their stats: Last year==38,000 queries, 55 fulls requested, 6 offers of representation. Um, yeah. A little daunting.

But then, four (yes, four) days later, Sara emailed me. She said my book "spoke" to her (yes, now THAT is why I write. I can't tell you how thrilling those words were to hear--makes me a little misty-eyed just thinking about it.) However, she had a lot of thoughts on the changes she would want me to make to strengthen the story and wanted to see if I was on the same page with that. The changes she wanted were pretty big things, but I really could see how those elements would deepen the book, darken it, and up the suspense. So I sent her my thoughts on those changes and we scheduled THE CALL! The rest you can figure out. :)

Now, I'm embarking on rewrites. Wish me luck!

Feel free to ask me any questions I might have not covered! :) And are you as amazed as I am by how awesome the writing community is?

**Today's Theme Song**

"A Little Help From My Friends" - Joe Cocker

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Guess What? I HAVE AN AGENT!!!!!!!

August 23, 2010 Roni Loren

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! *deep breaths* OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!

Yes, it actually happened....

HAVE

AGENT!!!!!

*twirls around in a circle*

This has happened so fast, I can barely believe it. I came back from RWA Nationals at the beginning of the month with my list of the top five agents I wanted to query. I signed up for Query Tracker, sent out the letters, and settled in for the wait. I'd been down the road with my first novel and prepared myself for the long haul.

Well, I totally didn't need to spend that money for that QueryTracker premium membership (although, I highly recommend it--great program) because...

Two weeks later, I got an offer of representation from none other than ...

The fabulous Sara Megibow of the Nelson Literary Agency!!!!!

Needless to say, I accepted. She had great things to say about my book and has terrific input on how to make it even stronger. I'm so looking forward to working with her.

Now, my head is still spinning, so I apologize that this post is neither insightful nor coherent. I promise I will totally go in to details about how it all happened, how blogging played a part, which book I was querying, and what's going on now.

Later.

Right now, though, I'm too busy doing this....

**Today's Theme Song**

"Beautiful Day" - U2

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Interview with Agent Suzie Townsend - Win a Critique!

August 5, 2010 Roni Loren

Today we're excited to welcome Agent Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary to the blog! Suzie has kindly given her time to answer some of our burning questions and has also donated a query or 5-pg. critique as one of the prizes! So without further adieu...

Bio:

Suzie is actively looking for fiction and non-fiction: specifically Middle Grade and YA novels (all subgenres, but particularly literary projects), adult romance (historical and paranormal), and fantasy (urban fantasy, science fiction, steampunk, epic fantasy).

Recent sales include Personal Demons by Lisa Desrochers (Tor, September 2010), All These Lives by Sarah Wylie (FSG, winter 2012), Valkyrie Rising by Ingrid Paulsen(Harper, winter 2012), Sea Rose Red by Cat Hellisen (FSG, spring 2012), Zombie Tag by Hannah Moskowitz (Roaring Brook, fall 2011), andTempest by Julie Cross (St. Martin’s Press, forthcoming).

She’s interested in strong characters and voice driven stories: she’s particularly keen on strong female protagonists, complex plot lines with underlying political, moral, or philosophical issues, and stories which break out of the typical tropes of their genre. Some of her favorites are When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead, How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff, The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels series, and Jacqueline Carey’s Kushielseries.

She drinks too much diet orange soda, has a Starbucks problem (those soy chai lattes are addictive), and lives in Brooklyn with two dogs who know that chewing on shoes is okay but chewing on books is not.
Suzie keeps a blog at http://confessionsofawanderingheart.blogspot.com and can be found on twitter @sztownsend81.

What would you like to see more of in your query inbox? And on the flipside, what are you tired of seeing?

This is also tough because I’m a little torn. I love YA. And I love paranormal YA. But…I’m seeing so much of it that a lot of it seems to sound the same. (And by so much, I mean probably over 90% of my queries are paranormal YA). But I am still requesting paranormal YA if it sounds different and unique enough (like Ingrid Paulson’s forthcoming Valkyrie Rising).

But I’d love to see contemporary literary YA (like Arlaina Tibensky’s forthcoming Bell Jar Summer) and literary YA with a speculative twist (like Before I Fall, How I Live Now, and Sarah Wylie’s forthcoming All These Lives). I taught rhetoric before I got into publishing, so I love when I read something where I can get lost in the story and later think to myself “wow, the way he/she used language to write that story” (I’m a nerd, I know).

I’d also love to see more YA science fiction projects (the science fiction elements have to be accessible though like in Julie’s forthcoming novel Tempest) with a romance. And I love YA fantasies like Kristin Cashore’s Graceling, Melina Marchetta’s Finnikin of the Rock and Cat Hellisen’s forthcoming Sea Rose Red.

And I would love love love to find a YA set in a historical time period – steampunk, magical realism, more time travel, just straight up historical. But I love Libba Bray’s Gemma Doyle series.

Then outside of YA, I’d love to see more literary Middle Grade projects that have a great commercial premise but have a depth and complexity to them (like When You Reach Me and Hannah Moskowitz’s forthcoming Zombie Tag).

And I’m also looking to expand into the world of adult fiction. I’d really love to find an urban fantasy series, a paranormal romance series (J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series is akin to crack for me) and a dark romantic fantasy series (I love Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels series and Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel series).

And if anyone has a thriller like Patrick Lee’s The Breach, I’d love to find that too.

Since I also have a lot of romance writers who read this blog--and because I'm self-serving and want to know for myself ;) -- what subgenres of romance are you open to representing?

I love all things romance. So really, I want to see it all. Paranormal, historical, contemporary, fantasy. I’m a sucker for romance.

Different agents have different opinions on what a writer should do before entering the query phase—i.e. find critique partners, finish a second novel before querying the first, go to a writing conference, etc. What do you recommend a writer do before taking that step?

For most writers, I have to say that critique partners are invaluable and a vital step in the process before querying. (I do know a few writers, who don’t have critique partners, but they’re usually the brilliant exceptions). It also helps if writers familiarize themselves with the industry before they start querying – either through research online or going to a conference or networking with other writers. It’s important to understand how the business works before diving in.

How important is it, if at all, for a writer to have an online presence before having a book deal or agent? Do you find it’s more important for a YA writer vs. another genre?

An online presence isn’t make or break at any stage. The most important thing is writing a good book. But before the book comes out, it will help if a writer develops an online presence and networks in order to get their name out there. It’s especially important for YA writers since so much of their readership is also online, exploring social media.

We hear the horror stories about writers following agents into bathrooms to pitch their stories or sending weird things with their queries. So, tell us, what’s the strangest method someone has used to try to query/pitch you?

I have gotten a bathroom pitch. But the strangest method is the query I got in a Starbucks cup. Yes – someone sent a Starbucks cup through the US Postal Service (I hadn’t realized that was possible until that moment), and inside there was the query and a bag of flour.

Thanks so much to Suzie for the great information and don't forget to click over to Julie's blog to see the rest of the interview including what makes a manuscript stand out from the rest!

And below is the daily Twitter bonus entry. Remember, you have to have to have filled out the main contest form (link at top of page) before you can qualify for bonus entries.

*CONTEST CLOSED*

Face Off Friday: Free Expression or TMI?

October 16, 2009 Roni Loren

Susan at A Walk in My Shoes posted last week on knowing the purpose of your blog. Some blogs have a defined niche, some are a mishmash of topics, and others are web style diaries. For me, I stick to writing/book related topics with the occasional personal post because, really, my life ain't that interesting. :) But obviously, the beauty of having your own blog is that it's yours and can be whatever you want it to be. And I love reading the variety that is out there.

However, when you're trying to get published, should you consider what agents might think if they click over to your site? There are some obvious things like the book review issue I already discussed, listing your rejections which Susan covered, or bad mouthing the publishing process. But I'm thinking more about the personal information issue. Is it okay to post things that, say, you wouldn't want your employer to know? Because ultimately an agent or publisher relationship will be a professional one. And if we are lucky enough to be published one day, is this information we would want our readers to know about us?

"Well I can delete those posts," you say. Ah, but the internet has a long memory called Cached Copy. Hop over here to see an example of how you can't really take something back.

Of course, the flip side of this argument is that a blog is a place for personal expression, so should be open to whatever. And if an agent doesn't like what's in your blog, then maybe they aren't the agent for you.

So what are your thoughts? Where do you draw the line on your blog or is there a line at all?

Also, I would like to thank Bob and Bess over at PlainOldBob Answers for this awesome award. I love the name. :) Make sure you go check out their site and say howdy.