What Will Make an Agent "Gong" Your Query

Photo by Clyde Robinson

This weekend I had the privilege of attending the DFW Writer's conference. It was a lot of fun and I even got to meet some bloggy/twitter friends who I hadn't had the chance to meet before. Below is a pic of me with the lovely Genevieve Wilson and Dawn Alexander.

I went to a lot of different workshops, but one of the most entertaining and informative sessions of the conference were the two agent "Gong" shows. The setup was simple. Each agent had a gong, anonymous queries were read aloud, and agents would hit their gong when they would've stopped reading. It was quite hilarious, but I also learned a lot of things about what they are and are NOT looking for in a query letter. So I thought I'd pass some of those along.

WHAT COULD GET YOU "GONGED" BY AN AGENT

1. Opening with a question. 
Most of us have heard this, but there was still a query in the bunch that did this. It got instantly gonged.

2. Vampires
You have to be REALLY REALLY different to get them to even consider another vampire novel.

3. Cancer
In and of itself, it may be an important issue in a book, but there were at least four queries where cancer seemed thrown in to up the dramatic effect. "There's this and this and this! Plus, someone has cancer!"

4. Too many things/issues/characters/plotlines.
This was one that the agents said a lot. Stories that seemed to have too many different things going on, too many characters, or too many plotlines listed in the query lost their interest. Stick to the hook!

5. Describing your own writing.
Don't tell them in your query that your story is fascinating, fast-paced, touching, whatever. Show them the story, not what you think of your own writing. One agent gonged out when the first sentence said "This is a fascinating story of..."

6. Cliches and tropes
Overused and tired phrases in the query got you gonged. If you're using them in the query, the agents suspect they'll be in your book. "Her life will be forever changed"..."The last thing she expected was"..."love is blind"...etc. Plus, cliched storylines as well--girl finding a diary with secrets, person finding a portal, romantic suspense where the wife suspects husband is up no good, the woman who loses her husband and goes  a small town to rebuild her life, etc.

7. Inauthentic voice
There was a YA one that used "awesome" "buttload" and "stupid" all in the first two sentences. It sounded like an adult trying to do teenspeak. Didn't work at all.

8. Stuff Happens
Queries where there was a lists of events but no hook or central conflict described.

9. Teens and the elderly
This is a bit random, but there were a few queries that were pitched at YA where the story is the teen gaining wisdom from an older person. They shot these down. Teens don't want to read about old people. They don't care what older people have to say when they are that age and so they aren't going to want to read about that.

10. September 11th plotline
All the agents literally groaned. Some said it was still too close of a topic for them to personally work with. Remember, most of these agents live in NYC, 9/11 was a national tragedy but for those on the front lines realize that it's got to be even more traumatic to relive.

11. Going on and on and on....(kind of like this post :p )
They want to hook, the main character(s), and what's at stake. That's really about it. Do not give a synopsis posing as a query.

12. If you do the "it's this meets this" kind of hook, don't use two movies. Use at least one book in the comparison to show that you are well-read in your own genre.
And don't compare to the GIANT books. Twilight, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Hunger Games--they're used so much that the comparisons don't meant anything anymore.

13. And finally, MAKE EVERY WORD SERVE  A PURPOSE and BE SPECIFIC.
So many queries had a whole lot of words but said nothing. It's a tale of love and loss and redemption. Of good and evil. Of whatever other completely vague abstract concepts you can think of. That may be a theme in your story but that is not what it's about. The agents want to know what your story is specifically about. Do not waste words talking about abstract things. Every word must give them something that you haven't already said and that speaks to the uniqueness of your story.

I'm sure there were more, but those were the ones that stuck out most in my mind. So do any of these surprise you? What do you think of this feedback?

The Query Critique Group

Photo by Deb Nystrom

We all know that critique groups and beta readers can be a great thing.  I have a fab critique group and have also met up with a few super awesome beta readers with this last manuscript (*waves at J. Leigh, who got through my book in record time and offered awesome input).  So I'm a big proponent of getting this kind of feedback.  I think it's the rare writer that can produce a perfectly polished manuscript in isolation.

However, what I never considered was the query critique aspect of things.  That letter, which we talked about yesterday, can make or break your chance with an agent or publisher.  I typically send mine to my crit group and get their opinion, which is uber helpful, BUT I didn't take into account that they usually know the story by the time they see the query.

At Queryfest, the agents suggested having separate people to crit your query--people who haven't read your story.  Your crit group may be great, but if they've already read your story, when they read the query, their mind is going to automatically fill in any blanks the letter may have.

I think this may have been the issue with a few of the queries they critiqued in the workshop.  You could tell the people knew how to write, but the summary was so confusing that we were left going, "Wait, what?"

So seek out others to run the query by, see if they "get" your story and are hooked by doing a cold read of that letter alone. Let them play agent.  Or, post on a site like Public Query Slushpile--I've always gotten solid feedback there as well.  If you find yourself having to answer questions and fill in the blanks for the people reading it, then you haven't conveyed the idea clearly.  Revise.

I've already taken this advice and hooked up with one of my new buddies I met at RWA *waves at Murphy* and it's been great to get an outside opinion.

So what do you do to get your query in shape?  Do you get it critiqued or just go for it?  Have you ever posted on one of the public sites to get feedback?  And feel free to put your email in the comments if you want to exchange query critiquing with others.

**Today's Theme Song**

"Selling the Drama" - Live

(player in sidebar, take a listen)

Lessons from Queryfest

One of the most helpful workshops I attended at RWA was a two-hour event called Queryfest.  The premise was pretty simple. Queries were collected from the audience, then a panel of five agents listened to the queries read aloud by a moderator and gave feedback.

For the first few, they listened to the full query before commenting.  Then, about halfway through the workshop, they switched to a format where each agent would say "Stop" when in normal query reading, they would stop reading and reject the person.

I know, brutal right?  I have mad respect for those people who submitted their queries to the gauntlet.  But the experience was rather eye-opening. Even I started to say "stop" in my head when I would hit the point that I'd lost interest or got confused.

So here's what I learned:

Do not put your title, genre, and word count at the bottom of the query.

I always did this.  It was usually my last paragraph because I wanted my hook at the top.  But every agent on the panel agreed it was better upfront.  After hearing the queries aloud, this suddenly made total sense to me.  When you don't know the genre, reading the query can be confusing because you're constantly trying to place what kind of story it is.  Then sometimes you get in your head it's A and then the query drops the bomb that it's actually B or Z.  (There was actually a gasp from the crowd after one query that sounded like adult urban fantasy turned out to be YA.)  So first line should be something to the effect of "I am seeking representation for my 70,000 word historical romance, TITLE."

Don't bury your hook.

Okay, I know I just said you should have genre up at the top and I still mean that, but then you need to drop in your hook as soon as you start talking about your story.  And let it stand out.  Some people had a great hook and then they went on and on AND ON.  By the time the query was done, we'd all forgotten what the story was about and that sparkly hook.  So use your hook and then get to the guts of your summary, but keep it brief!

Agents like accurate comparisons.

I've heard mixed things on this topic, but all four agents on this panel liked the idea of the comparison pitch.  I.e. Glee meets True Blood.  Okay, so that story probably wouldn't work, but you get the idea.  The one query that did this had the agents requesting they send material on the spot--FROM  JUST ONE LINE. Seriously.

Know your genre.

Many of the queries seemed to be labeled with the wrong genre.  There were queries for romances that didn't talk anything about the primary relationship of the book.  There were also a few that tried to merge too many genres.  You can't pitch an urban fantasy, historical, inspirational, middle grade, cross-over paranormal romance.  The agents wants to know where you would be placed in the bookstore.

Voice is always vital.

Beyond hook, voice was what sold them on things.  So make sure you inject the voice of your prose into your query.

Agents don't care about your personal information if it doesn't relate to the book.

They don't care if you've been writing all your life, wrote your first book at age five in crayons, and that you love to water ski in your free time. Writing credentials aren't necessary for fiction, so don't fluff that paragraph if you don't have any.  However, if you DO have something relevant: contest wins, previous publications, write articles for a magazine, etc. then put that in there.  Also, this is where you can put in that you blog.

They assume overwritten query means overwritten manuscript.

Some of the queries had adjective soup, like the person was trying to SOUND like a writer.  Don't do this.  Many assume the sins of the query will be the same sins in your book.  (And not all of them jump to the sample pages to find out.)

They are human--everyone likes to be kissed up to a little.

Personalize those queries.  Let the agent know (in a very brief way) that you have researched them and consciously selected them--not that you're just throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks.  Maybe you saw them speak at a conference, maybe you love their blog/twitter, maybe you admire their clients.  Be genuine and tell them why you are interested in their representation.

Alright, those are the main points I gleaned from the talk.  Hopefully, these tips helped.  We'll see if they helped me soon since I'm now actively querying my latest novel, lol.

So did any of these tips surprise you?  Have you incorporated these in your query? What other tips have you heard?  And am I the only one that has a HORRIBLE time trying to come up with those comparisons?

**Today's Theme Song**

"Ice, Ice Baby" - Vanilla Ice (I couldn't resist, sue me)

(player in sidebar, take a listen)