Nerding Out About The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

If y'all know me at all, you know I love me a Gretchen Rubin book. Since The Happiness Project I have been a devoted fan. I've loved each one of her books and I regularly listen to her podcast. So, of course, when she released a new book this week about The Four Tendencies, I had it on pre-order and read it immediately.

If you're not familiar with Rubin's Four Tendencies, the concept was introduced in her book on habits, Better Than Before. It's basically a personality framework that divides people into four categories based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations.

The Four Types:

Upholders - Meet outer expectations (what other people expect you to do) and inner expectations (what goals you set for yourself) without much trouble. They thrive under routines and like structure. No one needs to remind them to get stuff done or hold them accountable. They'll just get it done. They can also be seen as uptight and rigid. Think Hermione in Harry Potter. (This is what I am.)

Questioners - Meet inner expectations but resist outer because they want an explanation. This is my husband. Why is that a rule? That makes no sense. I'm not doing that. So basically, they only meet outer expectations if they believe those expectations make sense to them. If not, good luck. (Since I'm a rule-follower, this can drive of us both crazy because we butt heads over this.)

Obligers - Meet outer expectations but resist inner. These are the people who will do anything for someone else, but when it comes to keeping their own goals, they struggle if they don't have some kind of outside accountability like a deadline or a buddy who is calling and checking on them. So if they have to meet a friend to run every morning, they go because they don't want to let their friend down and, therefore, can stick to the habit. But if they were going on a solo run and no one was paying attention whether they did it or not, they would struggle to keep the habit. (This type is highly represented among my friends and fellow writers. Those who are great at taking care of others but not so great at giving time/effort to themselves.)

Rebels - Resist both inner and outer expectations. "You can't make me and neither can I" is one of the mottos she lists for Rebels. Rebels don't like to be confined by any rules or expectations. Even if they want to do something, if someone tells them to, then they resist. 

That's just a brief overview and you can take a quiz on her website to find out your type, but knowing what category you fall into can be surprisingly helpful when trying to set habits and stick to them. It also can help you deal better with people around you when you know your type and also know their type. The book goes into a lot more detail and has great information about how to deal with this at work, in relationships, and with your kids. I learned a lot of new tips and am trying to figure out what my kidlet's type is (I'm thinking Questioner.)

Also, I think this book helped clarify a lot because I thought I knew my type from the first book but after reading more in depth in this one, I realized I was wrong. I thought I might be a Rebel because as soon as I agree to something, I don't want to do it anymore. But I realized that rebellion is not why I'm resisting. I'm an Upholder, so my inner expectations trump outer expectations. So I don't want to do something when/if an outer expectation impedes on an inner expectation. Like if my habit is that every Sunday I go to the grocery store but then I have to go to a last minute event on Sunday during that time, I get annoyed and don't want to go because I don't like changes in my routine. (See, I'm an uptight Hermione.) But it also explains why I was that student who never had to be told to do her homework. I just did it. My parents didn't have to lean over my shoulder for anything. Neither did bosses in the working world. I also can set goals for myself that no one else knows about and stick to them (which is good since I'm a writer and no one is watching to make sure I do my work.) So it's a good thing (gets stuff done) but also bad (not so flexible).

So knowing this can help me check myself when I'm being too rigid or uptight about something. Or if my Questioner husband explains that "no, you don't have to follow those instructions exactly because this way is more efficient", I can hear him. Self-awareness is a good thing. ; )

So if you're a personality nerd like me and want to know where you fall on the scale and how to use it to your advantage, I highly recommend The Four Tendencies (and all of Gretchen Rubin's other books.)

About the book:

In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. 
 
During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. 
More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.  
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought...
·         People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself.
·         How can I help someone to follow good advice?
·         People say I ask too many questions.
·         How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

Buy the book

So what do you think your type is?

Books I've Bought Lately & Am Excited About

Usually, each week I have at least one new book recommendation for y'all. However, for the last two weeks, we've been in the middle of house renovations. So with all the chaos, I've had a hard time concentrating on anything at all except learning how to breathe in all this dust. *coughs* No new books have been read.

However, I have bought some because what's better to distract yourself from renovations but book retail therapy? So I thought I'd share a few of those today.

Also, for any of you facing the hurricane (or still dealing with the fallout of Harvey), I'm sending you thoughts and well wishes. Stay safe, y'all.

Okay, on to the latest book haul...

My Book of the Month picks

For those of you who aren't familiar, Book of the Month club is a great service where you pay 9.99 a month and get a new release hardcover (which is way cheaper than the 20-28 dollar cost of a new release hardback.) The five selections are curated by a panel of judges and you can pick whichever you want or skip the month. I've been a member for over a year now and I love it. In fact, I almost always end up adding at least another book or two to my order. (If you want to join, my referral link will get you a free tote bag with your order.) Here are my picks from the last two months:

Other buys:

A few foodie memoirs because I can't seem to resist them lately. The first is one I've heard recommended numerous times. The second is by the author of The Kitchen Counter Cooking School which I read recently and really enjoyed.

Some nerdy non-fiction :)

FInally, some impulse buys. Some were on sale. Some I heard about on the book podcasts I listen to.

What book buying problem? *shifty eyes*

And for those who notice there aren't any romances in here, that's mainly because I got a big stack of free romances at the RWA conference so I'm well-stocked in that book department. :)

What have you bought lately? What are you looking forward to reading?

SMART September Read & Watch Picks with Guest Don Allmon

How is it September? I'm refusing to believe it. I think August was some kind of time warp. But the calendar is telling me it's the first of the month, so that means it's time for this month's Read and Watch challenge suggestions!

This month the theme word is SMART in honor of all those kiddos going back to school. (To see previous themes or what this challenge is all about, check out this post.) This theme is fun because it can encompass so many different types of books (and movies and TV shows) that fit the challenge - a non-fiction read, a challenging literary fiction, a classic, a book about smart heroines or heroes, a book that makes you think. For movies and TV shows, the choices are just as varied. I can't wait to hear what y'all are reading and watching for the challenge.

And if you need some help choosing, today I have a wonderful guest who's here to help you with some of his own suggestions. Then I'll give you some of mine and tell you what I plan to read and watch for the challenge this month.

First, please welcome author Don Allmon to the blog! I love having guests who are writing in a different genre or subgenre than I am because we get a variety of choices and hear about books we might have otherwise missed.

So I'm going to hand it off to Don, but first a little about him...

About Don:

In his night job, Don Allmon writes science fiction, fantasy, and romance. In his day job, he’s an IT drone. He holds an MA in English literature from the University of Kansas where he wrote his thesis on medieval werewolf stories. He’s a fan of role-playing and board games. He has lived all over from New York to San Francisco, but currently lives on the prairies of Kansas. His debut novel, THE GLAMOUR THIEVES is the first in a cyberpunk/fantasy/romance trilogy and is available through all your favorite e-tailers.

Don's website

Don's Picks

My watch choice:

Leverage: Season 1

Starring Timothy Hutton, Gina Bellman, Christian Kane, Aldis Hodge, Beth Riesgraf

Leverage

Leverage is five seasons of smart and totally bingeable TV. The show follows a team of con artists who use their illegal talents to champion the little guy and swindle evil corporations. The characters are charming. The causes championed are often grounded in real-world issues or events, so you get that feel-good moment when the money- and power-hungry bad guys get their come-uppance. And their scams are elaborate and clever. As an added bonus, all five seasons are available on Netflix.

My reading choice:

Redshirts by John Scalzi

If you’re a Star Trek fan, then the title of Scalzi’s award-winning book probably tells you everything you need to know. If not: Redshirts refers to something fans of Star Trek noticed long ago: if a character in Star Trek wore a red shirt, chances were pretty good they’d die by the end of the episode. Redshirts starts with the crew’s paranoid awareness of their own short life expectancy, and the story becomes increasingly, brilliantly weird and meta as it progresses. There’s barely a single sci-fi trope that isn’t lovingly and mocked. It’s also hilarious.

I admit Redshirts works best if you’re a Star Trek fan, so just in case you’re not, here’s another SMART suggestion:

I admit Redshirts works best if you’re a Star Trek fan, so just in case you’re not, here’s another SMART suggestion:

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

In case you somehow missed them, this series of thirteen children’s books follow the Baudelaire orphans as they try to elude the wicked Count Olaf’s ridiculous and deadly schemes to steal their family inheritance. Not only are the children themselves SMART, but the books are that clever mix of wry humor and silliness that appeals to both adults and children simultaneously, like a deadpan, gothic Loony Toons. And if you’ve read the books but haven’t seen the recent Netflix adaptation, well, you just gotta. Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf and K. Todd Freeman as Mr. Poe (among many other shining performances) are simply too priceless to miss.

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Thanks, Don! And here's another pick--Don's own book The Glamour Thieves, which just came out in August. Isn't that a cool cover? And there's a unicorn trying to play matchmaker? I'm in, lol. 

Also, it got a STARRED review from Publisher's Weekly. Congrats, Don!

"A cyberpunk sensibility, intense action, and flagrant sensuality make a potent mix in Allmon’s swoonworthy debut erotic romance, with sexual encounters that echo the heat of its fantastical near-future Arizona setting." - Publisher's Weekly

About the book:

JT is an orc on the way up. He’s got his own boutique robotics shop, high-end clientele, and deep-pocketed investors. He’s even mentoring an orc teen who reminds him a bit too much of himself back in the day. 

Then Austin shows up, and the elf’s got the same hard body and silver tongue as he did two years ago when they used to be friends and might have been more. He’s also got a stolen car to bribe JT to saying yes to one last scheme: stealing the virtual intelligence called Blue Unicorn.

Soon JT’s up to his tusks in trouble, and it ain’t just zombies and Chinese triads threatening to tear his new life apart. Austin wants a second chance with JT—this time as more than just a friend—and even the Blue Unicorn is trying to play matchmaker. 

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Roni's Picks

To Read:

If you follow my blog at all, you know I've been on a non-fiction streak for the last few months. So almost all the books I've been reading would fit under the theme of Smart. But I thought I'd pick the one that has made me think the most and that I'm still thinking about. Warning: This book is full of history and science and is not a breezy read. It was a finalist for the Pulitzer. But there was so much great information and food for thought that I feel like everyone could get something out of it. Also, I listened to this in audiobook and really liked it in that format. It has a great narrator and listening made the dense information go down more smoothly.

The Shallows by NIcholas Carr

About the book:

Finalist for the 2011 Pulitzer Prize in General Nonfiction: “Nicholas Carr has written a Silent Spring for the literary mind.”—Michael Agger, Slate

“Is Google making us stupid?” When Nicholas Carr posed that question, in a celebrated Atlantic Monthlycover story, he tapped into a well of anxiety about how the Internet is changing us. He also crystallized one of the most important debates of our time: As we enjoy the Net’s bounties, are we sacrificing our ability to read and think deeply

Now, Carr expands his argument into the most compelling exploration of the Internet’s intellectual and cultural consequences yet published. As he describes how human thought has been shaped through the centuries by “tools of the mind”—from the alphabet to maps, to the printing press, the clock, and the computer—Carr interweaves a fascinating account of recent discoveries in neuroscience by such pioneers as Michael Merzenich and Eric Kandel. Our brains, the historical and scientific evidence reveals, change in response to our experiences. The technologies we use to find, store, and share information can literally reroute our neural pathways.

Building on the insights of thinkers from Plato to McLuhan, Carr makes a convincing case that every information technology carries an intellectual ethic—a set of assumptions about the nature of knowledge and intelligence. He explains how the printed book served to focus our attention, promoting deep and creative thought. In stark contrast, the Internet encourages the rapid, distracted sampling of small bits of information from many sources. Its ethic is that of the industrialist, an ethic of speed and efficiency, of optimized production and consumption—and now the Net is remaking us in its own image. We are becoming ever more adept at scanning and skimming, but what we are losing is our capacity for concentration, contemplation, and reflection.

Part intellectual history, part popular science, and part cultural criticism, The Shallows sparkles with memorable vignettes—Friedrich Nietzsche wrestling with a typewriter, Sigmund Freud dissecting the brains of sea creatures, Nathaniel Hawthorne contemplating the thunderous approach of a steam locomotive—even as it plumbs profound questions about the state of our modern psyche. This is a book that will forever alter the way we think about media and our minds.

If you don't want quite as dense of a read but want to get similar information, I'm giving a secondary pick. Hamlet's Blackberry comes at the same issue as The Shallows but from a more philosophical perspective, pulling on a lot of history of media and then giving suggestions on finding balance. A super fast read and still very relevant even though it was written a number of years ago.

About the book:

A crisp, passionately argued answer to the question that everyone who’s grown dependent on digital devices is asking: Where’s the rest of my life? Hamlet’s BlackBerry challenges the widely held assumption that the more we connect through technology, the better. It’s time to strike a new balance, William Powers argues, and discover why it's also important to disconnect. Part memoir, part intellectual journey, the book draws on the technological past and great thinkers such as Shakespeare and Thoreau. “Connectedness” has been considered from an organizational and economic standpoint—from Here Comes Everybody to Wikinomics—but Powers examines it on a deep interpersonal, psychological, and emotional level. Readers of Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point and Outliers will relish Hamlet’s BlackBerry.

To watch:

CNN does some great documentary series, and the ones I've found consistently compelling are the ones they do on the decades. We're still working out way through The Nineties but we've watched The Seventies and The Eighties and really liked both. I've also really been enjoying The History of Comedy, which has been surprisingly educational about how comedy plays a role in the bigger society. 

What I'll Be Reading and Watching

Tinker Dabble Doodle Try by Srini Pillay

I just started listening to this one in audiobook. After reading Rest: Why You Get More Work Done When You Do Less, which I raved about on the blog last week, I found this book, which is discussing the importance of "unfocus" for creativity.

About the book:

To finish tasks and achieve goals, most people believe that more focus is the solution. We rely on to-do lists, calendar reminders, noise-blocking headphones, and sometimes medication to help us concentrate—even though these tactics often fail to substantially improve productivity. Drawing on the latest brain research, compelling stories from his psychological practice, and colorful examples of counterintuitive success from sports, business, education, and the arts, neuroscientist Srini Pillay, M.D., challenges traditional ideas about productivity, revealing the lasting, positive benefits of adding deliberate and regular unfocus to your repertoire. A fascinating tour through brain wavelengths and rhythm, mindsets, and mental relaxation, Tinker Dabble Doodle Try demonstrates how specific kinds of planned unfocus stimulate cognitive calmness, jumpstart productivity, enhance innovation, inspire creativity, improve long-term memory, and, of course, help you stay on target. 

Tinkering with ideas and with things releases your mind to wander from a state of stuckness into a possibility frame of mind, triggering neural connections and new insights.

Dabbling in a new endeavor—whether a hobby or fantasy—disrupts your habitual and reactive thinking, helping you find new solutions to old problems.

Doodling can help you tap into another brain frequency to remove obstacles and create opportunities and inspiration.

With techniques for training the brain to unfocus, concepts for scheduling busy lives, and ideas for controlling this new cognitive-toggling capability, Tinker Dabble Doodle Try will change how you think about daydreaming, relaxing, leaving work unfinished, and even multitasking. What you’ll discover is a greater freedom, a deeper intelligence, and a more profound joy in your life.

Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman

I also just bought this because I've heard it's extremely relevant to current times even though it was written in the 80s. 

About the book:

What happens when media and politics become forms of entertainment? As our world begins to look more and more like Orwell's 1984, Neil's Postman's essential guide to the modern media is more relevant than ever.

Originally published in 1985, Neil Postman’s groundbreaking polemic about the corrosive effects of television on our politics and public discourse has been hailed as a twenty-first-century book published in the twentieth century. Now, with television joined by more sophisticated electronic media—from the Internet to cell phones to DVDs—it has taken on even greater significance. Amusing Ourselves to Deathis a prophetic look at what happens when politics, journalism, education, and even religion become subject to the demands ofentertainment. It is also a blueprint for regaining control of our media, so that they can serve our highest goals.
 

I don't know if this qualifies for the theme, but the hubs and I are starting Game of Thrones. Yes, I know I'm years behind everyone else but we don't get a chance to watch much TV around here. So we'll see how this goes.

Also, I am looking forward to checking out the new show Young Sheldon, which is about Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, so most definitely fits the theme. :)

What will you be reading and watching this month?

What I've Been Reading: 4 Recent Favorites

I think I'm going to declare the year 2017 my year of reading voraciously. At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to read 45 books for the year. This was a little lower than the previous year's goal because for the first time in years *sob* I didn't hit my Goodreads goal in 2016. But last week I actually hit my goal already. Woot!

Part of the reason I'm reading so much, beyond the fact that it's my favorite thing to do, is that, as many of you know, I've cut out so much of my online and smartphone time. Those gaps created have been filled in with more reading time--a happy switch I have to say. But that's left me with so many books that I want to tell you about and not enough time to blog fully about them all, lol.

So today I thought I'd give a quick rundown of what I've been reading lately and loving.

The Kitchen Counter Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn

I heard about this one first on the Modern Mrs. Darcy podcast and I knew I had to have it. I love a foodie book, but I was intrigued by the premise of this one--taking a group of women who didn't feel confident in the kitchen and showing them simple ways to cook without complicated recipes and a lot of fuss. Now, I consider myself a pretty experienced cook since it's a hobby of mine, but I still learned a ton of things in this book. For one, I've been holding my chef's knife all wrong! All this time. I had no idea. But beyond the cooking tips, I loved hearing about each woman's individual story and experiences. I listened to this one in audio and then had to buy the paperback too because I wanted all the little tips and simple recipes given.

About the book:

The author of the New York Times bestseller The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry tells the inspiring story of how she helped nine others find their inner cook.

After graduating from Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, writer Kathleen Flinn returned with no idea what to do next, until one day at a supermarket she watched a woman loading her cart with ultraprocessed foods. Flinn's "chefternal" instinct kicked in: she persuaded the stranger to reload with fresh foods, offering her simple recipes for healthy, easy meals. The Kitchen Counter Cooking School includes practical, healthy tips that boost readers' culinary self-confidence, and strategies to get the most from their grocery dollar, and simple recipes that get readers cooking.
 

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

Yes, by that Lauren Graham of Gilmore GIrls fame. This is a fictional story about an actress in New York trying to make it in the nineties. You can definitely hear Graham's voice in the story and you get the sense that though it's a fictional tale, she's using a lot of personal experiences to flavor it. I thought that added a level of authenticity I'm not sure I've read in other books with actress heroines. This one was very upbeat and fun. Sometimes I wanted to yell at the character because her self-esteem is so shaky at times and I just want to give her a rah-rah, don't-sell-yourself-short talk, but she's very likable and endearing. There's a slight romance thread in the book but don't expect a spelled out ending for the romance. At the end, it was one that I kept turning the pages because I was hoping for an epilogue. Sadly, no epilogue, but the journey was worth it. A breezy read.

About the book:

From Lauren Graham, the beloved star of Gilmore Girls and Parenthood, comes a witty, charming, and hilariously relatable debut novel about a struggling young actress trying to get ahead―and keep it together―in New York City.
 
It’s January 1995, and Franny Banks has just six months left of the three-year deadline she set for herself when she came to New York, dreaming of Broadway and doing “important” work. But all she has to show for her efforts so far is a part in an ad for ugly Christmas sweaters, and a gig waiting tables at a comedy club. Her roommates―her best friend Jane, and Dan, an aspiring sci-fi writer―are supportive, yet Franny knows a two-person fan club doesn’t exactly count as success. Everyone tells her she needs a backup plan, and though she can almost picture moving back home and settling down with her perfectly nice ex-boyfriend, she’s not ready to give up on her goal of having a career like her idols Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep. Not just yet. But while she dreams of filling their shoes, in the meantime, she’d happily settle for a speaking part in almost anything—and finding a hair product combination that works.
 
Everything is riding on the upcoming showcase for her acting class, where she’ll finally have a chance to perform for people who could actually hire her. And she can’t let herself be distracted by James Franklin, a notorious flirt and the most successful actor in her class, even though he’s suddenly started paying attention. Meanwhile, her bank account is rapidly dwindling, her father wants her to come home, and her agent doesn’t return her calls. But for some reason, she keeps believing that she just might get what she came for.
 
Someday, Someday, Maybe is a story about hopes and dreams, being young in a city, and wanting something deeply, madly, desperately. It’s about finding love, finding yourself, and perhaps most difficult of all in New York City, finding an acting job.

Around the Writer's Block by Rosanne Bane

I learned about this one in an RWA workshop and immediately had to go out and buy it. I suffer from writer's block at some point in almost every book and it's a huge source of stress for me. This book breaks it down and gives a simple system for setting up your brain for success so that you avoid burnout and blocks. SO HELPFUL. I've read a lot of books and articles on this topic, but this one really resonated with me. I loved all the science and explanations, and I found the system she suggests very intuitive. Highly recommended to my fellow writers.

About the book:

Discover the tricks that your brain uses to keep you from writing—and how to beat them.

Do you:

• Want to write, but find it impossible to get started?

• Keep your schedules so full that you don’t have any time to write?

• Wait until the last minute to write, even though you know you could do a better job if you gave yourself more time?

• Suddenly remember ten other things that you need to do whenever you sit down to write?

• Sabotage your own best efforts with lost files, missed deadlines, or excessive self-criticism?

The good news is that you’re not lazy, undisciplined, or lacking in willpower, talent or ambition. You just need to learn what’s going on inside your brain, and harness the power of brain science to beat resistance and develop a productive writing habit.

In Around the Writer’s Block, Rosanne Bane-- a creativity coach and writing teacher for more than 20 years-- uses the most recent breakthroughs in brain science to help us understand, in simple, clear language, where writing resistance comes from: a fight-or-flight response hard-wired into our brain, which can make us desperate to flee the sources of our anxieties by any means possible.

Bane’s three-part plan, which has improved the productivity of thousands of writers, helps you develop new reliable writing habits, rewire the brain’s responses to the anxiety of writing, and turn writing from a source of stress and anxiety into one of joy and personal growth.

Hamlet's Blackberry by William Powers

Yes, I'm still obsessively reading books about digital life and the effects devices have on us. : ) But I'm sharing this one because I think it's one of the most readable ones yet and focuses on the philosophical side instead of the hard science side. Powers lays out the problems and struggles so many of us are having with focusing and feeling constantly busy in the digital age, then he pulls seven philosophers from history to examine how they handled radical shifts in technology. (Because we're not the first generation to have to deal with that kind of radical shift--think of when written language was developed, when the printing press was created, when radio and TV were invented). It was really interesting seeing how insights from philosophers of the past absolutely can be useful today in dealing with our own technology revolution. Then at the end, Powers gives practical idea for how we can better live in our digital worlds without losing our minds. (Also, even though this book was published 7 years ago, it's still just as relevant today.)

About the book:

A crisp, passionately argued answer to the question that everyone who’s grown dependent on digital devices is asking: Where’s the rest of my life? Hamlet’s BlackBerry challenges the widely held assumption that the more we connect through technology, the better. It’s time to strike a new balance, William Powers argues, and discover why it's also important to disconnect. Part memoir, part intellectual journey, the book draws on the technological past and great thinkers such as Shakespeare and Thoreau. “Connectedness” has been considered from an organizational and economic standpoint—from Here Comes Everybody to Wikinomics—but Powers examines it on a deep interpersonal, psychological, and emotional level. Readers of Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point and Outliers will relish Hamlet’s BlackBerry.

That's all I've got for you today. What have you been reading?

Revisiting Deep Work by Cal Newport & Why I'm Such a Devotee

This week I've been nerding out with all my non-fiction book recommendations about focus and distraction, writing, and curbing the smartphone habit. Today, I've got one last pick for you. 

I blogged about Deep Work last year (almost a year ago to the day) when I read it for the first time, and I really credit it with being the book that got me thinking more deeply (haha) about this whole topic of focus in the world of distraction we face everyday. It was my ticket into exploring this whole issue on a number of levels.

So this summer, with all my reading on what the internet, smartphones, social media, etc. are doing to our lives and brains, I decided it was time for a reread of the book that started me down this path. This time, instead of racing through it like I do when I first read a book, I reread at a leisurely pace and took handwritten notes throughout. I'm not typically a re-reader but I really felt like I got even more out of this one the second time because I've been on the journey of working on my focus for a year. So things I may have missed last time landed on this read through. I also have seen some results.

Of all the books I've recommended this week, I think this is the most "user-friendly" one because there are practical tips on what to do. Not to say the information and science of it isn't dry at times--that's the nature of this type of book and something I don't mind because I love science/research type books, but it's not a heavy or dense read like some of the others. (Like below I mention The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brain, which was awesome but very dense with history and detailed science and not something I'd recommend to a reader who isn't used to reading that kind of thing or is looking for a general overview.)

So, if you haven't seen my previous post on Deep Work, check that out here, but today I thought I'd share some quotes and thoughts like I've been doing for the other books this week.

First, the back cover summary:

One of the most valuable skills in our economy is becoming increasingly rare. If you master this skill, you'll achieve extraordinary results.

Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It's a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work will make you better at what you do and provide the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship. In short, deep work is like a super power in our increasingly competitive twenty-first century economy. And yet, most people have lost the ability to go deep-spending their days instead in a frantic blur of e-mail and social media, not even realizing there's a better way.

In DEEP WORK, author and professor Cal Newport flips the narrative on impact in a connected age. Instead of arguing distraction is bad, he instead celebrates the power of its opposite. Dividing this book into two parts, he first makes the case that in almost any profession, cultivating a deep work ethic will produce massive benefits. He then presents a rigorous training regimen, presented as a series of four "rules," for transforming your mind and habits to support this skill.

A mix of cultural criticism and actionable advice, DEEP WORK takes the reader on a journey through memorable stories-from Carl Jung building a stone tower in the woods to focus his mind, to a social media pioneer buying a round-trip business class ticket to Tokyo to write a book free from distraction in the air-and no-nonsense advice, such as the claim that most serious professionals should quit social media and that you should practice being bored. DEEP WORK is an indispensable guide to anyone seeking focused success in a distracted world.

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Quotes - Thoughts - Observations

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On our current state...

"There's increasing evidence that this shift toward the shallow [thinking] is not a choice that can be easily reversed. Spend enough time in a state of frenetic shallowness and you permanently reduce your capacity to perform deep work."

I can absolutely tell you that over the last year and particularly this summer when I've greatly dialed back my smartphone, social media, and internet time that I can feel the physical difference in my thinking. Last year, I was afraid that something was wrong with my memory because I couldn't hold onto so many things anymore. I was afraid that I was developing ADD (despite having no history of it). But it wasn't some illness overtaking me, it was this fast-moving world of distractibility.

I was teaching my brain to always be stimulated and jumping from task to task. But now, I can feel the quieting of my thoughts, feel the ability to focus and get into "flow" with projects coming back. I'm calmer. I'm more creative. In some ways, I feel like I've stepped out of the matrix and am seeing everything with new eyes--which sounds cheesy but is the best description of what the experience has felt like. It helps you get perspective, asking, wait, why was I doing this again? Why did I find it necessary to pick up my phone every 5 minutes or check social media every bored moment I had? Why did I feel the need to document and post so many things out to the world?  Honestly, it's jarring at first to dial it all back. And then you start reaping the benefits...

On the nervous hum...

"the lack of distraction in my life tones down that background hum of nervous mental energy that seems to increasingly pervade people's daily lives. I'm comfortable being bored, and this can be a surprisingly rewarding skill..."

Which is exactly what my experience has been. I can concentrate. I can read a book without worrying if an email has come in. I can work on writing my book and not care what's happening on twitter. I can exist in quiet with nothing to do but think and be cool with that. In fact, I've come to crave the quiet, disconnected moments like I used to when I was a daydreaming kid.

On multitasking...

"People who multitask all the time can't filter out irrelevancy. They can't manage a working memory. They're chronically distracted. They initiate much larger parts of their brain that are irrelevant to the task at hand...they're pretty much mental wrecks."

I am now a devotee to unitasking. Science tells us that we can't multitask anyway. When we think we are, we're just cycling from one task to the next at a rapid pace but still only doing one thing at a time. But if I've learned anything from all these books I've been reading, it's that unitasking with purpose is where the magic lies. It's like a superpower to be able to dedicate all of your focus to whatever it is you're working on. Like right now I am writing this post. No email or social media notifications will interrupt me (because I've turned them all off permanently both on my desktop and phone.) I will not check anything until I'm done writing this and have to go grab the links to add to this post. And I will finish this post in far less time than it used to take me to write something shorter.

On the importance of boredom...

"If every moment of potential boredom in your life--say, having to wait five minutes in line or sit alone in a restaurant until a friend arrives--is relieved with a quick glance at your smartphone, then your brain has likely been rewired to a point where...it's not ready for deep work--even if you regularly schedule time to practice this concentration."

So here's the thing. This does take some time for your brain to retrain. I can say that from my own experience and also from watching my son do the device-free summer. There's almost a detox process involved. For one, shutting down a lot of the distractions may make you feel mentally tired and even a little down. Our brains are used to the constant entertainment and stimulation. Pulling back from that and replacing it with quiet time and focused concentration is a big shift. But that state passes. For kidlet, it took about a week from what I could tell. For me, a little less, maybe because despite how distracted I was, I have been writing books for years which had trained my brain for some level of deep focus. But then that tiredness/low mood lifts and the quieter, focused pace becomes fulfilling. Creative ideas start to pop up. An internal calmness develops. Plus, you're more productive on the things that count which is reinforcing. You don't want to go back to how things were. Like kidlet has taken to saying, "I think the video games and Ipad were tricking my brain."

On social media...

Don't take the 'any benefit' approach to a social media tool. Take the craftsman approach, meaning adopt a tool only if its positive impact on your success/happiness/professional/personal life "substantially outweighs its negative impacts." 

The key there is that last portion--substantially outweighs. We can find positive aspects of any social media. But just because a positive aspect exists doesn't mean it's worth the costs of the negatives a tool may have. Most of us do social media for a combination of fun/socializing and work purposes, but as we know, social media can suck up all of our time and attention because it's meant to be addictive. Companies don't want you to leave their sites. So take a hard look at all your social media outlets and determine which ones offer you more positives than negatives and pare back or get rid of the ones that are more negatives than positives. He gives a great example in the book, using a writer as the test case, on weighing the pros and cons of Twitter. I can't post it all here but it's eye-opening. And then he gives you tools on how to tame your social media beast.

On Shallow vs. Deep Work...

And finally, how do you even know what constitutes deep work vs. shallow work? How do you know if you're spending time where you should?

Ask of a task: "How long would it take (in months) to train a smart recent college graduate with no specialized training in my field to complete this task?"

If the answer is not very long, it's shallow work. Deep work is whatever your specialized skills are. For me, deep work is writing and editing. Deep work is not crafting a clever FB contest. It doesn't mean that the shallow work is not still part of my job, but it helps determine where I should be spending most of my time and effort. I have a career because I know how to write a book. That's my specialized skill. If I spend 80% of my day doing email, Facebook, Twitter, and skimming the internet, I'm just like anyone else who knows how to use a computer. So invest the lion's share of your work time in your deep work tasks and then take breaks from focused work to do the other stuff, instead of the other way around (taking breaks from distractions to do a little deep work in between.)

There are a lot more great points in the book and I don't necessarily agree with every single tactic he suggests, but overall, it was a world-shaking book for me in a good way. It's changed how I approach things completely. I highly recommend it.

And if you want to nerd out on the topic like me, here is a further reading list: