The End of Our Screen-Free Summer: Results & Moving Forward

I can't believe it's already back to school time. Kidlet started 4th grade this week, and that marked the end of our Screen-Free Summer experiment. For those who haven't been following along, at the beginning of summer we decided that kidlet would have no video games, iPad, or computer time this summer. He could watch TV and movies with us as a family, but that would be his only screen time. (Get links to all the previous posts at the bottom of this post.)

The summer has gone so much better than I ever could've hoped for. The experiment ended up being not just great for the kiddo but for us too. We have introduced kidlet to a bit of our 80s childhood--we watched "old" movies (The Back to the Future movies were his favorite), we played endless games of UNO and rediscovered board games we'd forgotten about (hubs and I now are slightly obsessed with Upwords), kidlet and I watched a bunch of The Goldbergs (sticking with our 80s theme, lol), and so many more things (frisbee, library visits, flag football, guitar lessons, kidlet learning to cook with me, etc.) 

So what were the outcomes of the experiment?

Some things kidlet did that I know wouldn't have happened if we hadn't gone device-free:

• He got completely into his guitar lessons. I don't have to prompt him to practice. He goes to his guitar and practices daily because he wants to. In fact, he did his first concert this past weekend and in only three months, he was picked as lead guitar on one of the rock songs. He was so great!
• One day he decided that the video game he really wanted to play hadn't been invented yet, so he took a stack of looseleaf and started drawing up his plans for the game he would invent, each page was another screenshot of the game.
• He got into devising and decorating a calendar for each month to plan his activities. (see photo of the calendar in this post) So now at the beginning of the month, he maps out all the fun things he wants to do, chooses movies for the movie nights, and selects meals he wants to help cook.
• He fell in love with UNO. I have lost count of how many games we've played lol.
• He's discovered a love for audiobooks (via the library visits.)
• He inspired my husband and I to take our own hard look at ourselves and our smartphone/internet time.

And what about the things that prompted us to go device-free in the first place?

• Kidlet's motor tics, which had gotten pretty bad toward the end of the school year, have almost disappeared. Every now and then I'll see a small one appear, but it's so subtle that no one but me or hubs who know him so well would even catch it. It's a dramatic difference.
• Kidlet had started getting grumpy, irritable, and defiant with us on a regular basis, which was outside his normally sunny personality. That whole attitude/defiance thing has disappeared. Not to say he doesn't have his moments. He's a kid. But it's rare and short-lived. This has probably been one of the biggest changes. His general mood has just been happier and more relaxed.
• Kidlet's preoccupation/desire for the video games and devices disappeared in about a week. The spell can definitely be broken.

In fact, the device-free summer has been so great that I was kind of dreading the end of it because I liked the new rhythm we'd established and my pleasant kid. But I gave my word to kidlet that it was just for the summer and I wasn't going to go back on that. However, I warned him during the summer that when it came back, there would be limits.

So this week, I told kidlet that he can have 100 minutes a week on devices (any device counts unless it's something for school work) and he can budget those minutes how he wants. He was fine with that and, in his analytical way, immediately started figuring out how he wanted to budget them. But he also told me last night: "Mom, can we do device-free summer next summer? I really liked it."

*cue me doing a victory dance in my head* lol

And really, I completely understand where he's coming from. I've dialed back a lot of my social media and smartphone time this summer, too. I also took a three-week internet break when I was finishing my book. Coming back, I had a small sense of dread because the break had been freeing in a lot of ways. So I think that might be how kidlet is feeling now. So, I I told him we could do it again next summer and that just because devices were back didn't mean he HAD to use them. He could be device-free anytime he wanted. 

Yesterday was his first day back with access. He spent 10 minutes playing a video game with a friend who came over and then last night used another few minutes to create Spotify playlists of the songs he wants to learn on guitar. Then he put it all away to watch some TV with me. He didn't rush back to them like he'd been deprived of anything.

So I'm declaring this summer a roaring success. I'm so very glad we decided to give this a try. It's been life-changing in a hundred little ways for all of us. : ) 

Anyone else do any experiments over the summer?

Previous posts on the Screen-Free Summer:

• A Screen-Free Summer for Kidlet: How, Why, & If I'll Lose My Mind
• The 10-Day Update
• 5 Week Update on Screen-Free Summer

Other Related Posts:

• Morning Rituals: Breaking the Smartphone First Habit
• Research Reads from a Device-Free Summer: The End of Absence
• Thought-Provoking Reads from a Device-Free Summer (Day 2): The Power of Off

Screen-Free Summer: The 10-Day Update

For those following our Summer Unplugged, we're 10 days in and I'm happy to report that things are going better than I expected or could've hoped for.

If you missed the original post on they hows, whys, and whats, you can check that our here: A Screen-Free Summer for Kidlet: How Why, and If I'll Lose My Mind.

But here's a rundown of what we've done this week when he's not in camp. (I'm providing the list in case anyone is looking for how we specifically are filling the time.)

Peekaboo - IT Movie GIF from Itmovie GIFs

Frisbee (We had to overcome one lost Frisbee in a storm drain. I could've tried to reach in but I've read Stephen King's It, so hell no. Frisbee number 2 has been purchased)

Simon 

Rubiks cube

Game night - Monopoly

Guitar practice and lessons

Cook with mom night (he picked the recipe, helped shop, and did 75% of the cooking.)

Started watching streamed episodes The Goldbergs together. We've never watched the show, so we've started from the beginning. Kidlet loves seeing "what the 80s looked like."

Movie Night with popcorn - The Witches (by the way, I'd forgotten how freaking scary that movie was. Kidlet was fine, but I was a little scared by it, lol.)

Lunch date with mom

Library visit

Puzzle with mom

Listening to an audiobook in the car - Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Saw Cars 3 as a family

Listening to music (we have an Amazon Echo--no screen so we allow it--and kidlet has been listening to a lot more music while he plays with his toys. 

Observations:

Mood: Kidlet's mood has been much improved. He's been engaged and chatty. He's taken to saying, "I love you, mom (or dad)!" at random times of the time. He's always been a loving child, but it's been a noticeable change that he feels compelled to announce it often, lol. 

Independent play: This has been a big change in the last few days. He's not just created new ways to entertain himself, he's *wanting* to do them. Saturday I'd planned a pretty active day, but he wanted to delay leaving because he was busy creating a very intricate race schedule for his toy NASCAR cars. He created an entire season of races and has taken to carrying around a notebook and pencil to record his plans for this. Even in the car. He also decided something he can do "when I get bored" is practice his handwriting because "I want to get better at that." That one shocked me.

Guitar: He's new to guitar lessons and before the fast, we were having to basically force him to practice. This past week, he's practiced unprompted and even played some in the morning before he went to camp one day. His guitar teacher noticed because he was impressed by his sudden improvement. Kidlet can now play the intro to "I Love Rock n Roll". :) 

Tics: His tics have improved. The verbal one that was affecting his speech is completely gone. He still has a neck/shoulder one bothering him, but I've noticed when he's doing independent play or concentrated play (like with the puzzle), it goes away. (This is a pretty huge win for us.)

His feelings about the fast: The first few days when we did this, he was a little down and quiet. He said he missed xbox. But after about day 3, his mood improved and he didn't mention the electronics. When I asked him if he missed it, he said, "Not really because we're having so much fun doing other things." <-I may have done a small happy dance out of his line of sight at this.

The Calendar: Kidlet has taken a big interest in the family calendar we created to list all the activities. He's coming up with his own ideas to add to the calendar and getting excited to write things down.

New discoveries: Kidlet has ended up liking things I didn't necessarily know he would enjoy so much. When we cooked together (something we've done only with simple desserts in the past), he was totally into it. While we were cooking, he said, "I love this. I want to do this every night." So I was surprised how much he enjoyed the whole process. Plus, the recipe he picked and food he cooked were really good! I was also surprised by how much he liked listening to an audiobook. He has some trouble following stories, so I didn't know how it would go with no visuals. But he's asking to take my car (instead of dad's) so we can listen to more of the book.

Parental feelings:

So last week I admitted that the first few days of the fast were hard and had given me my own little kick of down mood because it all felt overwhelming. (Especially when everyone's general reaction was "You're so brave!" like I was about to climb Everest lol.) But I am thrilled to report that this has swung in the complete opposite direction. This has made me and my husband HAPPIER. We weren't unhappy to begin with, but I don't think either of us expected to get this big happiness boost from this whole process. It's forced us to relax and do fun activities. We get to PLAY. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy things like puzzles and board games and movie night.

Before this, when I'd try activities with kidlet, I'd often feel like I was kind of forcing him into it because he'd rather being doing ipad or xbox things. Now that those distractions have been removed, having him get into all of this stuff (much of it from my childhood), it's created these lovely shared experiences that we all get something out of.

My thoughts 10 days in:

I Believe GIF from Ibelieve GIFs

If you haven't guessed, I'm only ten days in and am a total believer in this electronics fast thing. The results are hard to argue with. And now I find myself wondering why the heck we were so nervous about doing this and why we'd thought it'd be so daunting. After the first 3 days, it's been dare I say...easy. And I can tell you that when/if we bring the video games and Ipad back, it's going to be on an extremely limited basis (like an hour on a weekend day or something) because this new state of things is too good to mess up.

I'll keep updating, but I hope some of you found this helpful. If you're interested in what books helped me get started on this, I highly recommend Reset Your Child's Brain. I also read Glow Kids, which was a little more dense and focused on the addiction studies about electronics. I'd go with the first book if you're looking for more practical advice on how to do a fast and why you might want to try it.

Is anyone else trying this?