DEAL ALERT: The Ones Who Got Away is $1.99 for a limited time!

Want to start a new series for your summer reading or know someone else who does? The Ones Who Got Away is on sale for $1.99 for a limited time!

An Entertainment Weekly Best Romance of 2018

A Kirkus Reviews Best Romance of 2018

An Amazon Best Romance of 2018

"Unforgettable." --KIRKUS Starred Review

Order the book:  Amazon | B&N | iBooks | Kobo | Indiebound | Books-A-Million | Google Play

Also available in audiobook: Recorded Books  | Audible

About the book:

Twelve years ago, tragedy struck the senior class of Long Acre High School. Only a small number of students survived, a group the media dubbed as The Ones Who Got Away. 

Now, web designer Liv Arias, along with the rest of the survivors, have returned to the small Texas town to tell their stories for a documentary. Which means Liv seeing former star-athlete and old flame Finn Dorsey. A lot happened between them that night and Liv is ready to end their decade-long riff and move on. But when her attempt at closure turns into a steamy kiss, moving on proves much more difficult than either of them thought...

Liv's words cut off as Finn got closer. The man approaching was nothing like the boy she'd known. The bulky football muscles had streamlined into a harder, leaner package. The smooth face was now dusted with scruff, and the look in his deep green eyes held no trace of boyish innocence. A thousand things were in those eyes. A thousand things welled up in Liv.

Seeking Balance: The Friday-Only Social Media Plan

In the past few months, I’ve been blogging a lot about my relationship with social media and figuring out how to manage distractions. Really, it’s been a topic on my mind for years, and I’ve come at it in a number of different ways.

If you missed those posts, here’s a quick recap. In February, I did a month with no social media or what Cal Newport calls a digital declutter. I went into my reasons in that initial post. I completed the month successfully and recapped what the experience was like, what I learned, and what I was going to try to do going forward. I also did a post about how I’ve retrained my brain for Deep Work over a two and a half year time period by limiting distractions. Then most recently, I blogged about how, after all this work to corral my own distractions, I didn’t want to be a distraction for you, so I wrote about what I would share and not share online going forward in my post I Am Not Here to Distract You.

See? Told you I’ve been a bit obsessed with this topic, lol. And that’s not even counting all my Device-Free Summer posts about my kidlet from years past.

So, here I am talking about it again because since that month without social media, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to recapture the benefits of that fast while still maintaining a social media presence—something that is a part of my job as a writer. In my post where I outlined what I hoped to do going forward to tame social media, I had high hopes. But I admit that I haven’t stuck to a big chunk of those plans (like only checking social media at lunch.) It’s frustrating.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that in most habits I want to break, I tend to be an abstainer and not a moderator. (I got this terminology from Gretchen Rubin. See: Are You an Abstainer or a Moderator?) A moderator is a person who can just have a little of something (hence, moderate.) So they want to eat less sugar, but they don’t have to give it up completely. They have the personality that can have one cookie a week and move on.

In the past, I fancied myself a moderator. Because in some situations, I am. (I can make Halloween candy last months. But that’s because I only like candy a little bit.) However, in general, I’ve realized that I’m much more successful as an abstainer. It’s easier for me to have/do something none of the time than some of the time. For instance, about fifteen years ago I wanted to stop drinking soft drinks (diet or otherwise.) I failed at moderating. But once I said, no more, I am not a person who drinks soft drinks—then it was done. Fifteen years later, I still don’t drink them and I’m not tempted to. (This is coming from someone who used to drink like half a dozen Diet Mt. Dews a day.)

Abstaining takes the decision fatigue out of play. I just don’t do that, so there’s no debate to be had. That was why by the halfway point in the social media fast, I had this sense of ahh… I don’t have to think about that. The decision was made. I am not a person who does social media this month.

But, social media isn’t soft drinks. It’s a part of my job. It’s a part of life for most of us. It’s not as easy to just say no more ever. However, trying to moderate it hasn’t gone all that well for me. I’m not anywhere near where I was a few years ago or even pre-fast, but the impulse is still there, distracting me. Should I post? What should I post? I’m bored standing in line, let me look at Instagram. Did someone respond to my comment? How about now? Or now? (Note: I’m not making a moral judgement about social media. If you love it and it works for you, you do you. There are parts I love about it, too.)

So during this past month—which OMG May is trying to kill me with how busy it’s been with general life/family stuff—I’ve been trying to work through a very difficult block in the book I’m writing and finish up teaching my beginners romance writing course. Stress level has been high. I needed all my brain power to figure out the puzzle I’d written myself into and to be present for the students in my class. Posting on social media has mostly fallen by the wayside, but checking it…? Yeah, I’m reaching for it a lot because it’s a distraction from the hard things I’ve got to do.

This, of course, has got me thinking about how to find balance again. The next two months are going to be frenetic because I have a lot of writing to do, a family vacation, and then a trip to New York for RWA (which, of course, falls right before I’m supposed to turn in my book, arg.) I need to clear as much non-essential stuff off my plate as I can. Knowing all that made me want to do a summer-long social media break because: abstainer. But I know that’s not realistic for the long-term, so I’ve decided to try a variation.

I’m going to limit social media checking and posting to one day a week—Friday. This way, I don’t ignore people who have reached out to me and I can share/promote things if need be, but I don’t have a decision to make on a daily basis. I will only check it on Friday so that means every other day, the decision is already made. I’m hoping that will trick my abstainer brain into complying. ;)

I got the Friday idea from this post by Sol Orwell: How to Take Fridays “Off” (and still be insanely productive). The post isn’t about social media but more about how we tend to slack off on Fridays and a way to embrace that. So he reserves his Fridays for reading/learning for a few hours (he saves all the articles and such that he comes across during the week for this time) and also does networking on Fridays. That way, he’s still productive, but the things that could be distractions during the week have their place on his schedule. So taking a cue from him, I’m thinking my social networking can have a happy home on Fridays. I’ll also probably put “reply to non-urgent email” as a recurring task on that day as well. So then those things aren’t free-floating around in my head. They have a spot on the schedule and will be handled.

So starting tomorrow, I’m going to give this new plan a try and see how it goes. If it doesn’t work, it may be social media-free summer for me. But I’ll report back! And if you message me on social media and don’t get a reply for a little while, now you know why!

Have you found a great system to balance your social media or other distractions when you have a big project to work on?

How to Read More Books This Summer: 15 Tips and Tricks

This weekend I came across a short documentary by Max Joseph (of Catfish fame) called Bookstores: How to Read More Books in the Golden Age of Content. First of all, it’s worth watching for the bookstores alone—so many beautiful bookstores are featured. *heart eyes* However, Max is trying to figure out how he can learn to read more because currently, he’s reading about one book a year. He goes on a quest to get advice, including tips on speed reading. But what I was struck by was that the book he wants to tackle first is Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. That book is a giant 1000+ page tome of literary fiction. And all I could think was, dude, you’re never going to become a regular reader that way.

If you haven’t developed a reading habit and aren’t a regular reader, jumping in to something so big and literary is just going to frustrate you. I think a lot of people go into the “I want to read more” project with this homework mentality or like you’re trying to fit more greens into your mental diet. Like reading is not worth doing unless you’re going to read something super difficult and “high-brow.” But for people who read all the time, reading is FUN. It’s not homework. We’re not doing it because it’s “good for us.” It’s what we do to get away from our work and enjoy ourselves. That doesn’t mean we can’t read literary books or difficult books or sad books. But just like with getting kids to read, if you want to read as an adult, you have to find things that HOOK you and won’t let go. Books that entertain you and make you want to turn the page and stay up too late.

Once kids develop a reading habit with books that are entertaining and fast-moving, then they eventually can develop the muscle to tackle harder books or classics later on. But if you just throw slow-moving literary classics at them first, then they think reading is a slog because they don’t have those reading muscles built up yet. The same goes for adults.

So if you’re looking to read more, stop dismissing genre fiction like suspense, mysteries, horror, fantasy, romance, and young adult books. You don’t have to seek out “important” books. I think all books can be important. If a book makes you think about what it means to be human, or stirs up emotions, or makes you think about love or fear or family, if a book can make you laugh or cry or feel that rush of satisfaction that comes with a happy ending, all those are valuable experiences. And if a book simply sweeps you away from your daily stress for a few hours, that can sometimes be more important than anything because it’s an act of self-care. So stop putting pressure on yourself to read the “right” kind of books and just read whatever sparks your interest and makes you turn the pages.

But if you’re not hung up on the type of books you read and are still having trouble finding ways to fit reading into your life or you want to up your reading game this summer, I’ve gathered fifteen tips to help you out.

15 Ways to Read More Books This Summer

1. Quit books you don’t like.

   Seriously, life is too short to read bad books and summer vacation is DEFINITELY too short to read bad books. If a book hasn’t captured you in the first couple of chapters, you have permission to move on. Otherwise, your reading will come to a halt because you’re not finishing the book and don’t want to move on until you do, creating a vicious cycle that will make you dread reading.

2. Keep a list of what you want to read.

   You can do this on paper or on an app like Goodreads or on an Amazon wish list, but it helps when you have a list to go to when you finish a book and know where you want to go next. This also provides a place to capture books from random recommendations from friends, websites, or podcasts.

3. Put your ebook app in the spot on your phone where you favorite social media app usually resides.

   We think we don’t have time to read, but that’s often because we squander our reading time by mindlessly scrolling through our phones. I’ve taken the social media apps off my phone (except for instagram which I put on the last page) and I have my kindle app on my main screen. That way, when I’m stuck in the grocery line or in a waiting room, I can read instead.

4. Always have a book with you.

   This is sort of related to #3 because if you have an ebook app, you always have access to books. However, our phones can be such a black hole of distraction, that I’ve come to prefer paper books over the last few years because I can’t click out of those. So, I’ve made a point to buy a big enough purse to fit a book. I also bought a Book Beau sleeve to keep in my purse so that my book is protected. It’s become a habit to slip a book in there before I go out because I never know when I’m going to get stuck waiting somewhere. Easy access makes all the difference. And if you’re going on a summer vacation, pack a few books because you may not like one or you may like one so much you finish it super quickly. Have a back up. (My husband teases me because I’ll bring like 3 books plus my Kindle on a 3-day weekend trip and he’s like, “I know you read fast but…” I like to be prepared for all scenarios.)

5. Audiobooks count as reading and are awesome for commutes, chores, and summer road trips.

   I’m relatively knew to the audiobook world, and I will say that I’m still not big on fiction audiobooks. However, I ADORE non-fiction audiobooks. I always have one going so that I can listen to a book in the car while I’m driving. I also listen a lot when I’m washing dishes or cooking dinner. It’s like listening to a really long, in depth podcast. And don’t let anyone tell you audiobooks don’t count as reading.

6. Book review blogs and bookish podcasts can keep your list growing and your excitement about books stoked.

   There are a ton of book bloggers, book review sites, and bookish podcasts out there to keep you busy. Find the ones you like and you will have a steady influx of “ooh, I want to read that” which keeps you excited about reading. These are great to listen to on road trips too.

7. Turn off phone notifications

   I know I’m always preaching about how to tame digital distractions. But if you’re trying to read and Facebook and Twitter notifications keep dinging, you’re never going to sink into the story. Don’t let your phone dictate your attention.

8. Do a summer reading challenge (or a yearly challenge)

   Some of us love to check off a box on a To Do list. I am wholeheartedly one of those people. So reading challenges work for me. That’s why I create my own each year (this year it’s the Read Wide challenge.) But if you don’t want to create your own, just google reading challenges and you’ll find all kinds of fun ones you can join. Modern Mrs. Darcy does a great summer reading challenge/guide each year as well.

9. Review books yourself

   You can do this publicly on sites like Goodreads or you can keep a private reading journal like I do, but I find that recording my reading makes me more likely to read. I enjoy writing down that I completed a book and then scribbling down my opinion about it. It can enrich the experience. Plus you can jot down fun memories like “read this on the beach in Florida.” (I have a free romance reading journal download if you don’t want to make your own.)

10. Read whatever the hell you want and not what you feel you “should”

    I already talked at length about this above, but I’m including it here for those of you who skip the blog content and go straight to the lists. I see you, skimmers. ;) Read what you want without shame. Read what you enjoy, what sweeps you away, what makes you turn the pages.

11. Start your day with reading

    Instead of scrolling through your phone first thing, keep a book on your bedside table and read for fifteen minutes after waking up. It’s a much calmer way to start the day—whether at home or on vacation.

12. Develop a daily time/habit for reading.

    We don’t do what we don’t make space for. Look for the pockets of time where you can read. Do you get a few minutes to yourself after dinner? Or after the kids go to bed? Is the morning your only quiet time? Maybe during your lunch break at work or on your commute? Find a slice of time that you protect for reading and then work on creating a habit of using that time just for that.

13. Create a distraction-free reading nook.

    This may mean you simply leave your phone in another room and keep the TV off. But if you can find some little space where you aren’t going to be fighting distractions while you read, it can make the reading time feel extra special and renewing. And if you’re going on a summer vacation, create a reading nook wherever you’re going—on the beach lounge chair, by the pool, on the hotel balcony.

14. Figure out your reader preferences

    If you’re new to this or just getting back to reading after a long break, you may not know what you like yet (or anymore.) Be willing to explore and see what catches your attention (including the middle grade and young adult sections if the spirit moves you.) Go wander the library and pull books off the shelves to see what catches your eye. If you’re on vacation, wander a local bookshop. There will be trial and error involved but that process can be fun. Make no apologies for liking what you like or disliking what some other people may love.

15. Branch out if you’ve gotten in a rut.

    Sometimes we may be avid readers but we get in a rut. For me, this usually means I need to shake up what I’m reading. That’s one reason why I love the Read Wide Challenge. It forces me not to stay too long in one lane. So don’t be afraid to pick up something out of your normal reading zone and change it up. You may discover a whole new area you like. Or maybe you read heavier books during the year and want something lighter for summer (or vice versa.)

And remember to have fun! Reading can be a great joy in our lives. I know it is in mine. But if we turn it into homework or a self-improvement exercise, we’re just going to run away and scroll through Instagram or binge watch Netflix instead. Find what you love to read. Don’t apologize for it. And give yourself the gift of getting lost in a story.

Happy summer reading!

I Am Not Here to Distract You: My New Social Media Promise

You know how sometimes random things come together in a way that makes you think of something in a different light? That’s partly a definition of creativity—seemingly disparate things/ideas being brought together to create something new. Well, yesterday I had a few things coincide that got me thinking about how I want to handle my online presence.

As many of you know, I’ve been thinking a lot about social media and distraction lately (and really for a number of years now.) Hence my 30-Day Social Media Declutter (which I wrote about here) and what I learned from it (which I wrote about here.) So this is a topic that is constantly buzzing at a low hum in my mind.

Yesterday, a few things happened that got my gears grinding about this topic again. First, I attended an online workshop about how to do social media well as an author. I enjoyed the workshop and appreciated the information. Much of it was about picking which platforms best suit you and how to be fun and on brand as an author. This can include things like posting funny memes, cute pet photos, and entertaining videos. Things many of us enjoy. Things that many authors do well.

However, when I imagined myself looking for fun cat videos to post or finding cute memes, I kind of winced inwardly because—wow, I see that distraction train roaring down the tracks straight for me. I don’t think I can trust myself to go searching for those things because a) I’ll get lost in the internet black hole (I mean, what’s more tempting than endless cute animal videos?) and b) my perfectionism will make me search endlessly for the “perfect” one to post. Plus, I don’t post photos that aren’t mine or aren’t paid for after getting sued years ago over using a photo on my blog. So, I listened to the advice but also knew that I couldn’t heed some of it. But let’s put a pin in that thought for a moment. Because…

Later that night, I was reading the essay collection On Being 40(ish). This was such a great read, and I really got a lot out of many of the essays. I know I’ll be revisiting a few of them. But one near the end called “I Don’t Have Time for This” by Sophronia Scott really resonated with me. In it, she talks about how her friend called her to be miserable about the election results together. Here’s an excerpt:

“My friend has called me to commiserate. But I’m not miserable. I haven’t given a thought to being miserable. The sun is pouring through the windows of my yellow kitchen, my family is healthy, my friend is on the phone, and I’m glad to hear her voice. So I will try to figure out how to gently put into words the overpowering feeling I have more and more as I walk through middle age: I don’t have time for this.”

She goes on to talk about how her son was a Sandy Hook student who was a few doors down from the shooting and survived and how that gave her new perspective on how precious time is and how it isn’t guaranteed. So, she chooses to focus on the joy in her life and not wallow in the misery. Not sticking her head in the sand but choosing joy in her every day life.

So what could this possibly have to do with me writing about social media? Well, here’s where my brain went. Life is precious. We get our particular amount of time on this planet and then it’s done. I’ll turn forty this year. What do I want to do with the rest of my time? How do I want to spend those limited minutes? Which led me to…

Do I want to spend my time searching for cute dog memes to post?

And secondly…

Do I want to contribute to using up YOUR minutes with trying to keep you looking at my page and distracting you from your life?

The answer felt really clear in that moment. I’m not here to distract you. I don’t want that to be part of my job. Yes, I want to write the best books I can, and some people might see reading romance as a distraction, but I see reading a good story as an experience or a chosen respite. Time reading a book rarely feels like wasted time to me—unless the book was terrible, lol. Even watching TV shows usually doesn’t feel like wasted time to me. A good story well told is something that makes me happier. But when I get lost in the internet hole of social media or random videos or top ten posts, I rarely feel better for it.

And frankly, with all my blogging about reclaiming focus and taking breaks from social media and doing device-free summers, it feels hypocritical of me to post fluff to keep algorithms fed and you seeing my page. Note: This is absolutely not a judgment of anyone who does post those things or the countless number of people who enjoy the content. My husband starts many of his days with cat videos because that gives him a happiness boost before he goes to work. There’s nothing wrong with that. This is not about what should be posted or shouldn’t. This is a personal decision about what I feel aligns with who I am and what I want to give you.

When you visit my blog or read my newsletter or see something on my Facebook page, I want you to feel like you’ve gotten something of value out of it. It doesn’t always have to be serious, of course. Despite the tone of this post, I’m not a particularly serious person. Fun and laughter have great value. But I also don’t want my contribution to be filler that I’m posting just to keep the algorithms happy and eyeballs on my sites. I want it to be things that aren’t on a million other pages. My goal for my blog is for you to walk away with something to think about or a great book recommendation or a new TV show to try out. My goal for my newsletter is to make it good enough that people would actually pay to subscribe to it (I’m not going to charge, don’t worry. But that’s how I judge how much I like a newsletter: would I pay a subscription fee for this?)

Basically, I want to add value not distract.

And yes, of course I want you to buy my books. I really, really do! :) My family likes to eat and, you know, have a roof over our heads and stuff. (So high maintenance!) But I have to believe that if I put everything I have into writing quality stories (which involves me concentrating and not spending too much time on social media either) that you will still buy my books—even if I’m not constantly in your feed reminding you that I’m alive and have something to sell.

How about this? I work to give you good things to read and aim not to waste your time. You occasionally buy one of my books and tell your friends to read them. Deal? ;)

My promise to you:

1. I won’t blog unless I feel I have something interesting to talk about or offer you.

2. My newsletter will remain focused on providing you with quality content. It’s full of these posts plus extra content including what I’m reading, what books I’ve bought lately, and behind the scenes photos.

3. All book recommendations on this blog or any of my social media channels will continue to be non-sponsored content. I don’t accept books for review, so anything I recommend is being recommended because I enjoyed it.

4. I will continue to write the best stories I can (which sometimes means being a slacker on social media.)

5. I will do my best not to waste your time and will be grateful for any time you choose to share with me.

Thank you for being here.

And if you want to keep up with my posts along with exclusive content, sign up for my newsletter. This is, by far, the easiest way to keep up with me, no social media checking required.

Have a great weekend!

What newsletter would you pay for? I’m always looking for great new ones to check out. :)

Roni Recommends - Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day

I know it’s going to come as no surprise that I love reading productivity books, but because I read so many, it’s often hard to find one that stands out. A lot of them are just more of the same. This is actually why I didn’t buy the book I’m recommending today when it first came out. The summary looked a lot like other books I’d read and so I passed it by. However, when I saw it recommended somewhere else, I decided to give it another look. I’m so glad I did.

Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky was a delight to read. First off, it’s just a really nice physical book. Book nerds (like me) will appreciate how thick the paper is, and the layout and design of the pages makes it super easy to read. There are also a lot of fun little illustrations. It almost feels like reading a really great blog on paper. So, though I have nothing against ebooks, you might want to spring for the hardcover on this one.

As for the content inside, the book focuses on how to make time using a simple paradigm which involves choosing a highlight for the day, learning how to laser focus on it, reflecting on how it went, and also making sure you have enough daily energy to get things done. Sounds simple enough, but what I enjoyed about the format of the book was that the authors take each of the four areas in the paradigm and give you a bunch of different tactics to choose from to help implement it.

For instance, in the Laser section, there are over 40 separate tactics they describe that can help you focus better. Things like how to make your phone screen distraction free. (I’m trying a version of this, see pic) or how to wrangle TV time or finding a soundtrack for “flow.” It’s a choose-your-own-adventure style. They’re not saying “do all these things.” They’re saying, here are a bunch of ways you might try. Experiment with combinations and see what works for you.

I found the Highlight, Laser, and Reflection sections really helpful and thought-provoking. I wasn’t as into the Energy section just because I’d rather read advice on eating, exercise, etc. from experts in those particular fields. (Though I did enjoy the tactics about caffeine.)

Overall, this was a quick read that I thoroughly enjoyed and will keep on my shelf. I love that you can just flip to a tactic for a refresh. It really is like having a helpful blog bound into a book. So if you’re looking for a productivity book that is fast-paced, fun, and helpful, you might want to give this one a try.

Here is the official description:

From the New York Times bestselling authors of Sprint, a simple 4-step system for improving focus, finding greater joy in your work, and getting more out of every day.

Nobody ever looked at an empty calendar and said, "The best way to spend this time is by cramming it full of meetings!" or got to work in the morning and thought, Today I'll spend hours on Facebook! Yet that's exactly what we do. Why?

In a world where information refreshes endlessly and the workday feels like a race to react to other people's priorities faster, frazzled and distracted has become our default position. But what if the exhaustion of constant busyness wasn't mandatory? What if you could step off the hamster wheel and start taking control of your time and attention? That's what this book is about.

As creators of Google Ventures' renowned "design sprint," Jake and John have helped hundreds of teams solve important problems by changing how they work. Building on the success of these sprints and their experience designing ubiquitous tech products from Gmail to YouTube, they spent years experimenting with their own habits and routines, looking for ways to help people optimize their energy, focus, and time. Now they've packaged the most effective tactics into a four-step daily framework that anyone can use to systematically design their days. Make Time is not a one-size-fits-all formula. Instead, it offers a customizable menu of bite-size tips and strategies that can be tailored to individual habits and lifestyles.

Make Time isn't about productivity, or checking off more to-dos. Nor does it propose unrealistic solutions like throwing out your smartphone or swearing off social media. Making time isn't about radically overhauling your lifestyle; it's about making small shifts in your environment to liberate yourself from constant busyness and distraction.

A must-read for anyone who has ever thought, If only there were more hours in the day..., Make Time will help you stop passively reacting to the demands of the modern world and start intentionally making time for the things that matter.

Buy the book