Finding Your Happy Place on the (Often Negative) Internet

The internet and social media can be a lot of things. Work. Information. Distraction. Fun. A place to keep up with distant friends and family. But, as we all know, it can also often be a negative place. Ugly stuff. Trolls. Arguments. Hate. 

That's nothing new. It's been there from the start. But lately, I've found that some of my "happy" places on the internet--the places I go for a break from work or stress--are becoming more and more unhappy, tense, or negative. And instead of finding an escape from stress, I'm finding more of it.

For me, Twitter used to be my watercooler where I'd "hang out" while working from home. Fun pics. Book recommendations. Funny comments. Chatting with friends. There was a lightness to it. And there is still a lot of that aspect there, but lately, there's also been so much heavy stuff. Heated debates. People calling out others. Arguing. Ugly comments. Facebook can be the same, especially around election time. 

And I'm not saying those type of things shouldn't be talked about on social media. Everyone should use their platform how they see fit. And a lot of those topics are important ones, things that should be discussed. But being exposed to it every day sometimes feels like an avalanche of ugh feelings, makes the world feel like an impossibly dark place. Kind of like watching the news all day. It can affect your mood and weigh on you.

I write romance for a reason. It offers a temporary respite, a safe place to escape. I think we all need places to escape sometimes, places where we focus on the bright parts of the world, the things that make us smile or laugh or get excited. It's good self-care. It helps balance things out.

Sometimes we just need fluffy kitten and puppy pictures, dammit. :) 

kitten massage in #cat

So though I always have books to provide a happy place for me, I've also found myself yearning for my happy place on the internet. Somewhere that I can go and just chat about nothing too heavy or look at pretty/silly/funny things or make new friends. And lately, I'm finding that I gravitate to a few specific places:

1. Instagram - I'm still kind of a newbie to Instagram, but it's quickly become one of my favorite places to take a "mind break." Cute pictures of friend's pets, funny pictures, planner p0rn, gorgeous landscapes. It's a place where people post things to make you smile, where they share the best little things in their day. (Come find me on Instagram if you want to join me in my happy place.)

2. Facebook groups - My solution to FB being kind of negative has been finding (or creating) FB groups. There's my Fearless Romantics Reader group, which is a happy place to talk about books. And then I'm in a planner group of publishing/writer people. We nerd out about planners, notebooks, pens. It's silly and fun and I've met new friends through it. It is such a happy place.

3. YouTube - Okay, this one isn't overly social for me. But since I've gotten into planners, I've spent way too much time watching people's videos on how they decorate their planners and such. it's also become my go to place when I'm researching products I might by, like when I was on the search for my mechanical keyboard.

4. Etsy - So this one can get expensive, lol. But I love seeing people (particularly women) open up their own businesses and sharing their creativity with the world. There are so many beautiful things there. And you feel good about buying there because you're supporting peoples' passions and small businesses.

There are a few others like Pinterest, but their interface often annoys me, so I don't spend as much time there as I would if I could adjust how things work, lol. But in general, those are my main go to places when I need a break.

So, I'm curious. What's your happy place on the internet? Or maybe just your happy place in general? When the worlds gets too stressful, what's your go to "brain break"?

Your Facebook Page May Be Blocking Your Fans

Photo by Zach Klein (flickr cc)

I didn't plan on posting today, but I wanted to do a quick PSA about something I found out today. So on occasion I've had a friend or two say they couldn't reach my Facebook author page. I tried to send a few different versions of links to those people, but no matter what I tried, they couldn't get to it. Even if they searched for me, my name didn't come up.

Then yesterday I did a post on Facebook vs. Twitter: Where The Readers Are and I had more people have the same issue. So I put a call out on Twitter this morning to see who could access the link and who couldn't. Well, turns out, it was blocking anyone from outside the U.S.  Uh-oh.

So I did some research and discovered that Facebook apparently has a setting that defaults to only allowing people in your home country to view your page. It blocks EVERYONE else.  !!!  I was shocked to find this out. I've had this page for at least two years and had no idea. I always wondered why my FB page grew so much more slowly than Twitter. I figured it's because I'm on Twitter more. But now I realize I was unintentionally locking out a whole lot of people. *sigh*

Therefore, I wanted to let everyone know about this setting so that you can check your own page and fix it if you're set on the same default.

To fix this, go to your Facebook PAGE (This is not for profiles but for fan pages.) Click on the Admin Panel, then Manage Permissions. Then make sure there are no countries listed in your "Countries Restrictions" box. And select the button that says "Hide this page from viewers in this country." If you have no countries selected then that will mean it's open to all.

If you need more visual directions, here's another blog post with pics.

Grr. Kind of frustrating that I'm just figuring this out now, but hopefully you can save yourself the trouble.

And for anyone out there who has tried to access my page and had issues, everything should be fixed now. You can follow me here. : )

Am I the only one who wasn't aware of this?

Facebook vs. Twitter: Where The Readers Are

Photo by Ed Yourdon (flickr cc)Facebook or Twitter? It's a question that people seem to have definite feelings on. Most people prefer one strongly and see the other as a pain. In the past, I've made it no secret that I'm a Twitter girl. I like the fast pace and the simple interface. I like that I can follow a bunch of people and get a little nibble of everything. And frankly, I use it as my blog reader now since I never seem to have time to keep up with my Google Reader.

However, over the last two months or so, I decided to put more effort into my Facebook presence. Many established authors swear by Facebook for connecting with readers, and I know that people are way more likely to be on Facebook than Twitter.

So I begin to put focus on FB and not just by copying tweets over there. FB and Twitter are inherently different in the kinds of updates that "fit." I also made the point of keeping FB more reader-focused than writing-focused. Twitter is filled with my fellow writers who don't mind hearing about word counts or craft-related things. But FB seemed to be getting more pure readers, so I didn't want to bore them with the technical side of writing.

And you know what? Yesterday, the difference in "crowd" became noticeable.

I posted a question on both Twitter and Facebook asking what I should put on a stamp I'm going to use when I send out signed bookplates. One option was my tagline "For the Fearless Romantic" and the other was "Greetings from The Ranch."  For those of you who aren't aware, The Ranch is the BDSM resort in my series.

So the results were very telling. Almost every one of my Twitter followers said the Fearless Romantic one. Then on Facebook, every vote was for The Ranch. It was amazing how divided it was.

And then I realized the difference. My writer friends were going for the one that spoke more to "author brand". We've been trained to think that way, to have that marketing hook. But my READERS who are already fans of the books were thrilled at the thought of having "Greetings from The Ranch." One line is meant to "sell" the books to new people. The other serves to entertain people who love the series already.

So, it was an easy decision. Anyone who is asking me for a bookplate is already a fan. Therefore, this needs to be for them. It's not about selling someone new on the book. If this were for promo material at a conference or something, the fearless romantic line would be the better fit. So it was a lesson in knowing who your audience is for something.

BUT, back to the point, this also showed me the clear distinction. Twitter is where my writer friends hang out. Facebook is where more readers are. (At least from my own anecdotal evidence and what I've heard from other authors.)

So which one should you do? 

Short answer: Both

Longer answer: If you don't have time for both, do which one you enjoy the most because that's the one you'll probably thrive at.

But here are some things to consider and make a good case for cultivating both...

Why Facebook Is Important?

• It's the most likely place fans will look for you besides your website.
• Not everyone is a social media addict (like we writers are). Your every day person may not read blogs, have a google plus profile, a Twitter account, or a Goodreads account. But even the most social media averse person probably has a Facebook page. My grandparents have one, my parents have one, my high school teachers have them. I'm hard pressed to think of someone I know who DOESN'T have one.
• It allows you longer updates because not everything can be said in 140 characters.
• It gives you the chance to put up exclusive content and sneak peeks to give your readers something extra for following you and reading your books.
• You only have to post an update one or two times a day. So there is more opportunity for interaction about one topic.
• It's easy for people to share you with their friends.

Why Twitter Is Important?

• There is an incredible writer community on there. Writing is a solitary business. Hanging out on Twitter is like the office water cooler. You can go there for gossip, encouragement, or just to vent to each other. 
• Some readers do prefer Twitter and that will continue to grow.
• It is a wealth of blog link love. Like I said, it acts as my blog reader these days.
• It's more casual than FB in my opinion. Since you can update throughout the day, each update doesn't have to be super profound. : )
• It's easy to share things via Twitter.
• It doesn't have all the restrictions like FB. And your followers see your updates--you don't have to pay extra to "promote".
• You don't get a crap ton of emails anytime someone comments on something.
• It's less of a commitment for someone to follow you on Twitter. Most people won't "Like" a FB page unless they are a fan already. But many people will follow you on Twitter just to check you out and see what you have to say. So it's easier to introduce yourself and your books to new people.

Each obviously has benefits and drawbacks. But I think if you can manage both, you're going to find you have a more well-rounded online presence. You want to make it as easy as possible for people to find you and connect with you.

So, if you aren't already there and want to hang out with me, you can find me on Twitter AND Facebook. ;)

What do you think? Do you have a preference? To those of you on both platforms, do you find a difference in the "crowd"? As a reader, do you seek out authors on any particular social network?