...In Which I Wait and Try To Maintain Sanity

 


It's officially been eight months since I sent my original query/partial to Harlequin.  Six months since they requested the full.  And one month since I received an update letter letting me know I was on top of the editor's to be read pile.  This wait is not out of the ordinary and compared to some agents/publishers, not even a drop in the bucket.  I know these editors and agents have crazy workloads, so I totally understand why it takes so long.

 

However, can I just admit that the wait is KILLING me?  I try not to think about it.  I blog, I work on my WIPs, I critique, I enter contests, I stay busy.  However, it's always there, niggling at the back of my brain.  Every time the phone rings or I check the mail, it's there.  I try not to get my hopes up, try to keep perspective, but it's hard.

This is basically an exclusive submission.  The other places I would send this manuscript are limited because it's category length.  So if Harlequin turns me down, I'll have to revisit the manuscript and beef up the length before sending it out to anyone else.  Therefore, I have eggs-in-one-basket syndrome at the moment, which makes the wait even more excruciating because if it ends in a "no", I will be at square one again in the querying process.

So that's my confession.  Patience is not my virtue.

I guess this experience is a good lesson for me because I know that if I'm lucky enough to make this my profession--it's all about the waiting.  And I know that it's a lot quicker for an editor/agent to say "no" than to say "yes", so I try to convince myself that the wait is a good thing.  :)  Nothing like good ol' fashioned rationalization, right?

So, how about you?  What do you do to get through the waiting process?  Are you able to block the pending queries/partials/fulls out of your mind or is the thought always swimming around your brain?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Wait" - White Lion
(player in sidebar, take a listen, everyone needs a little 80s hair rock sometimes)


!!!Just realized I totally whiffed Beta Club today.  With the Memorial Day holiday (and my depleted brain cells from a weekend of stomach flu for all members at the Griffin household), I had it in my head today was Monday.  The Beta Club entry that was supposed to go up today will go up on Thursday.  Apologize for any confusion.!!!!


 

The Gateway Book - Getting Hooked on a Genre

 

Gateway in Siena
Photo by UrbanDigger


When selecting which books to read, my guess is that most of us stick to a handful of our favorite genres or sub-genres.  For me, the lion's share of what I read is contemporary romance and young adult.  I also have a fondness for horror, mystery, and romantic suspense--but those are rare reads these days.  I'm not opposed to reading in other areas, but with so little pleasure reading time, I end up sticking to my mainstays most of the time.

 

Now, that means it's often hard to convince someone to give your genre a try.  For instance, many of you are not romance readers, so when I mention a recommendation/review, you probably don't pay much attention because you've already labeled it as not your thing.  I know I do the same thing.

But as writers (and readers) it's good to expand our horizons and get a feel for what else is out there.  So, with so little free reading time, I'd hate to pick up a book in a genre I haven't explored and accidentally select a crappy one--which may ruin me for exploring the genre further.

So what I thought would be fun to do today is to list a gateway book for your genre of choice.  Meaning:  


If you wanted to "sell" someone on your genre/subgenre and they've never picked up that kind of story, what's the ONE book you would want them to read that you know has the best shot at hooking them on the genre?

For instance, I'm writing erotic romance--a niche genre that is booming, but isn't mainstream for most.  It also isn't for everyone.  However, if someone is curious about testing out the genre, I often recommend Maya Banks' Sweet Surrender because even though it has some seriously risqué elements (it is erotic romance people), the characters are well-developed, the story sucks you in, the romance is primary, and the buildup of tension is deliciously executed.  It also eases the reader in instead of slapping them with erotic elements page one.

When I was looking to try out historical romance, everyone recommended Outlander, which totally sold me on historical romance--something I really hadn't had an interest in before.  So that was my gateway book.

Here are some other books I'd recommend as gateways:

 


And if you're looking for a terrific (though a bit outdated) book that lists gateway picks for a slew of different areas, check out The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Ultimate Reading List.  I got a used copy of this a few years ago and still go to it for recommendations.

 

So you tell me--what's your chosen genre/sub-genre and what gateway book would you recommend to get a newbie hooked?  And for my fellow romance readers, tell me what author/books I HAVE to read to consider myself well-read in my own genre? :)

**Today's Theme Song**
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

Finding Balance

 


A few weeks ago, when I was amidst my muse-on-fire, 12k-words-in-5-days phase, my husband looked at me and said "I'm kind of jealous of your writing."

 

*sigh*

It had been a particularly writerly day because I'd had my RWA meeting that morning, which means he was on kiddo duty for a couple of hours, and we were coming off a week where I really had been buried in my laptop.  So of course I felt awful.

My husband works long hours and travels a lot, so I definitely don't want to waste the little time that I have with him with my head in my story.  But at the same time, this also means I get very little child-free time, so it's tempting to sneak in some writing when I have daddy here to help out.

But in the end, I decided to back off on writing in the evening time.  I also am going to get a bit of relief because the kiddo started part-time daycare last week, so I'll get three mornings a week to myself (although, a good bit of that will be spent on housework, bleh.)

So the question I have for you is--how do you find the balance?  Until you're paid for it, most people (even the most supportive family members) will see writing as a hobby.  However, in order to succeed at it, you have to treat it with the dedication you would give to a career.  My husband is my biggest cheerleader, but I guarantee he's happier when I tell him I spent the morning cleaning out a closet than when I announce I wrote 3000 words.

So have any of you found the secret?  How do you focus on your writing without falling into the cave?  How do your loved ones view your writing?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Everything to Everyone" - Everclear
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

WIP Wednesday

 

 

The kiddo is in daycare for a half day, hubs is at work, and the house is quiet--it's one of those very rare moments where I am blissfully alone and able to focus on writing.  So, this will be a short post.


I am 57k words into my WIP, and I can see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm not sure how many more words this one will need since I'm still pantsing, but I'm thinking somewhere between 10-15k.  I know how it ends, but I still have lots of rocks to throw at my characters before they get there.  


Then, of course, once I finish this first draft, there will be lots of beefing up to be done since I typically underwrite in my drafts.  But regardless, there's nothing better than the feeling I get when I type "the end", so I'm looking forward to that.


Also, another quick progress note, I'm STILL going through blogfest entries from last week, so bear with me if I haven't made it to yours yet.  :)


Now, tell me about your WIP.  How's your writing going?  Do you have an idea of how many words something is going to be when you start or do you just write it and see where it lands?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Turn the Page" - Metallica
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

The Beta Club: Harbinger (YA Urban Fantasy) - Agree with my Critique?

 

 
It's Beta Club Tuesday!  YA Urban Fantasy on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Dawn Hullender (go visit her here)
Title: Harbinger
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy

Excerpt:

Cool, crisp night air sneaked in through the partially open window and cast a light veil of mist throughout the small bedroom. Karma shifted restlessly as the dream dancing through her mind pulled her deeper and deeper.
Sweat dampened her brow and the covers tangled around her failing limbs. In her mind she ran from four hooded figures on horses; each one carrying an identical sword as the next. Her flight through strange woods proved fruitless when everywhere she turned there they were, bearing down upon her.
Her bare feet were covered in scratches and the hooded ones seemed to smell her seeping wounds like bloodhounds on a trail. She grasped at the wispy ends of her cotton nightgown as they fluttered in breeze of her flight. Her breath came in ragged bursts and she was sure her lungs would explode at any moment.
“What do you want from me?” she screamed into the blackened night sky and cringed when one black horse approached her slowly. His breath came in soft tufts, lifting the ends of her hair. The rider remained seated, as did the others; however he did reach down for her to take his gloved hand.
“We want you Elemental, come with us or fail the world,” his voice rang hollow, his breath putrid upon the breeze. Karma backed away from the rider and horse. She lost her footing when she stumbled over a tree root and screamed as she fell down a black hole.
Karma eyed her grandmother’s front door with a mixture of suspicion and dread. Today was her eighteenth birthday and she knew; she just knew Nana had something up her sleeve. Remnants from last night’s dream still plagued her and the last thing she wanted was a noisy – unwelcome – birthday party.
Every year she begged for this day to pass unnoticed, but the universe never indulged her whim and neither did her grandmother.
Tired of dallying, she sighed and trudged up the steps, mentally preparing herself for the insane surprise waiting, but nothing could have prepared her for what she faced once through the blue door.
“Happy birthday dear,” Nana smiled and handed her a large, over-wrapped present. “I know how you dislike surprises, so this year I decided not to throw a party. Today it’s just you and me.”
Karma didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so she did the only thing she could think of and that was to hug the older woman, “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Nana patted her roughly on the back, “That present arrived for you today. It came from your parent’s attorney,” she narrowed her eyes and frowned. “I suppose they wanted you to have it today. There’s a letter on the table that came with it, I suspect you should read it first.”
With a small nod, Karma pushed past Nana and raced to the kitchen to find a long white envelope bearing her name resting amongst the napkin holder.
She sat the box on the table and ripped into the envelope. At first the letter didn’t make sense, so she closed her eyes – counted to ten – and read it again.
“Karman,
            If you’re reading this letter then it’s your eighteenth birthday
and we aren’t there for you. Who knew Anthropology was such a
dangerous field huh?”
Karma rolled her eyes at her mother’s attempt at humor. She always had some lame joke to tell and it never failed to make people laugh. She would never understand why.
“…Have you opened your gift yet? Well, what are you waiting for, open
 it now!”
Karma sat down the letter and ripped into the cartoon duck covered wrapping paper. She frowned when she opened a square box and her eyes settled on an old leather tome. It looked older than her 1807 first edition of Children’s and Household Tales, written in native German by the Brothers Grimm.
“Wow, I wonder what this is.” Karma muttered as she gingerly opened the front cover. Her heart flip-flopped when she realized it was no published book but a personal journal. Its handwritten pages were smudged here and there, but she had no way to determine just how old it was. Turning back to the letter, she sat the journal back in the box.

 

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.
Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

**Today's Theme Song**
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) -  Marilyn Manson version
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Used Book Dilemma

 

Last week I took on the daunting task of cleaning out my book closet.  It was overflowing and although it pained me, I had to get rid of some.  So by the end, I had two boxes of books that needed to find a new home.

Because throwing away or even recycling books makes me sad, I decided to bring the books to the used bookstore.  Two boxes of books--hundreds of dollars worth--yielded me a whopping thirty bucks.  And of course, while they were preparing my estimate, I was shopping.  I ended up spending almost to the penny what I got back (all part of their evil plan I know.)
Now, this is the first time I've shopped at the used bookstore in a while.  Since I've been writing, I've started to feel guilty when I buy used books because I know the author doesn't get any money for those.  However, at the same time, I'm not made of money (damn, I'm sounding like a parent) so the prices are tempting.  
So what I ended up doing was buying old books by authors I've always wanted to try.  I came home with books by Nora Roberts, Jennifer Cruisie, Julia Quinn, and a few others.  (I just heard the collective gasp of all the romance writers/readers over the fact that I've never read a Nora Roberts.  But I came to romance via romantic suspense, so I grew up on Sandra Brown, Linda Howard, etc. before my jump into straight romance and just never made it to Nora.  I'm going to fix that.)
Now I know that in some ways, used book sales can help authors because someone may try an author for the cheap price, then if they like them, start buying their newer releases.  But I also know some people only buy their books used no matter what--which means the author never really benefits unless the person promotes them via word of mouth.  So I guess I have mixed feelings.
Therefore, I'd love to hear your opinions.  Do you buy used books?  How do you feel about the system?  Have you sold your own books back to a used bookstore?


**Today's Theme Song**
"Use Somebody" - Kings of Leon
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

Face Off Friday: Writer's Block

 

Writer's block.  Whether you believe if it truly exists or not, most of us can't deny that there are times when the inspiration isn't coming and the words aren't flowing.  Many say that the block is just fear or insecurity playing with our minds.  I kind of subscribe to that belief, but also know that sometimes my brain simply shuts down.

 

I have a pattern.  For two weeks, I'm in the zone.  My fingertips fly over the keyboard, pages rack up, and I have trouble falling asleep because the scenes keep writing themselves in my head.  Then I hit the end of the two weeks and everything comes to a screeching halt.  For the next two weeks, I struggle to write and feel like the creative neurons in my brain are trying to fire through peanut butter.  I get frustrated, grumpy, and feel ready to give up on the project entirely.  (And no, I'm not bipolar.  I've just accepted that this is my process.  I'm not entirely unconvinced that this isn't tied to the cycles of the moon or some hormonal shift.)

But anyway, the question I have is: what do you do when the words aren't coming?

There are two schools of thought from what I can tell.  In the first camp are the "write anyway" people.  This means that even when you aren't inspired, you just put words on the page because eventually it will spark something for you.  This is the "write or die", NanoWriMo mentality.

The other side would say that if the muse isn't speaking then take a break.  Walk away for a few minutes, hours, days.  Let your mind relax out of it's "oh crap, I'm on the way to an epic fail" state of mind.  When we're not concentrating so hard, our mind can wander and often hit on solutions or ideas for our story.

So which path should we take if we hit a wall?  Here's the breakdown:

 

The "Write, No Matter What" Side


Pros:

  • You keep yourself in the habit of writing daily even if the words aren't going to be used later on.
  • You may be able to write your way around the block.
  • You keep the story fresh in your head.
  • You're developing a good work ethic.  If you eventually write under deadline, you don't have the luxury of taking long breaks.

Cons:

  • You may write a lot of words you'll have to scrap or write yourself into a corner.  How many people finish Nano and say "Hey, got my 50k words, but they're all crap"?
  • You may end up meandering--I'm convinced that saggy middle is due to the fact that many of us hit a block somewhere in the heart of that.
  • You can end up so frustrated and put so much pressure on yourself, that the creative part of your brain just shuts down.
  • You run the risk of turning something you enjoy into something you hate.

 

The "Take a Break" Argument


Pros:

  • When you take some of the pressure off, your mind can relax and work on the story issues.  How many times does the answer to a block arrive while you're driving or showering?
  • You can use the time to re-energize yourself--read, take a walk, enjoy something that has fallen by the wayside because of your writing.
  • You won't be a miserable cuss during the block.
  • You won't waste your time writing pages and pages that you'll never use.

Cons:

  • When you take a break, it can be easy to not go back to the project because you've gotten out of the habit.
  • If you take too long of a break, you'll have to reorient yourself to the story once you return
  • All that free thinking time may lead to SNI (shiny new idea) syndrome and you may be tempted to move onto another project instead of finishing the other one.

So what to do?  I think a combination works best for me.  I know that for my two inspired weeks, I need to milk it for all it's worth.  Then during the other half the month, I give myself permission to take breaks and don't put a daily word count goal over my head.  But I do try to look at the story at least once a day and see if it sparks anything.  If not, I read through and do some editing on what I already have.

 

So what's your process?  Does your muse have a pattern?  Which method do you use to get past a stuck point?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Brain Stew" - Green Day
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

 

Author Voice vs. Character Voice*

 

Microphone
Photo by Ernest Duffoo
Voice is one of the most sited components of writing a great story. Publishers/agents are looking for a strong voice, a fresh voice, a clear voice, etc. Unfortunately, it's also one of the things that we as writers struggle with and stress about the most.
I think the first thing that confused me early on was the difference between author voice and character voice. At first, I thought they were the same thing. They're not.
 
Author voice "encompasses word choice, rhythm, pacing, style, tone and structure." (source)
Character voice also affects word choice, rhythm, and pacing. But in character voice those things are influenced by the character's background, history, age, education, regional location, time period, etc.
Crystal clear, right? *snort*
Okay, maybe this will help, because it definitely helped me. I attended a workshop once where the author explained author voice by saying that you could pick up any one of her books no matter what the subject/character/plot and know that she wrote it.  
For instance, I've been reading Richelle Mead's Succubus Blues.  I'm a huge fan of her YA Vampire Academy books (in fact, I all about did a dance when Spirit Bound arrived on my doorstep this week), but this was the first time I was reading any of her adult books.  The story and characters are completely different, but the quirky sense of humor and style are still there.  I could tell they were both written by the same author, so I'm "hearing" her author voice.
And you have one, too!  We all do.  You just have to make sure it gets onto the page.
My author voice is snarky and casual. My style matches that--I use deep POV, like using the occasional incomplete sentences for impact, and have a lot of dialogue.  My books will never be filled with lyrical prose and elegant descriptions.  And though I tackle heavy topics at times in my stories, humor will always be present.  
Why? Because that's who I am. I don't take life very seriously. Sarcasm is my favorite pastime and self-depracation is a way of life for me. I can't escape my voice.
So there's good news in that! Voice just is. (Read your own blog, you'll probably see your voice shining through.) We can hone it and analyze it and strengthen it but our author voice is already there. It's who we are. 
The only thing that gets in the way is when we try to imitate some other author's voice. "I want to write books just like..." It's good to study other people's writings and pick out what you enjoy about it, but be careful not to let what you "think" your voice should be overtake what it actually is.  You can never be such and such author, you can only be you.
So, if author voice is just waiting there to be discovered, what we probably need to worry about more is making sure we have an accurate character voice for each of our players. 
To do this, we need to analyze our characters, get into their head, know their history. As one of my handy dandy critiquers recently pointed out about one of my characters: she's from the south, she wouldn't say "you guys", she would say "y'all". Of course, I know this (being southern and a over-user of y'all) but I lost her voice for a minute trying to sound more proper. These are the small nuances we have to watch out for. If our characters don't sound believable, we'll lose the reader.
Well, that's my take on the whole thing, but I'd like to hear your opinions.
How would your describe your author voice?  Do you struggle to nail it down or is it one of those things that comes naturally?  Which authors voices do you totally envy?
*This is a revamped version of a post from Sept. 2009.  I decided to rerun it since over the past year "author voice" is the most popular search keyword according to my Google Analytics, so apparently a lot of people have questions about this topic.  Hope you find it helpful!*
 
 
**Today's Theme Song**
"Voices Carry" - Til Tuesday
(player in sidebar--go ahead, take a listen)

 

Winner, Recap, and Hitting 500 Followers!

 

  


Whew!  Yesterday was amazing.  Thanks so much to all of you who participated--all 112 of you!  I had no idea this blogfest would turn out to be so popular.  Guess I'm not the only dialogue lover out there.  :)

 

I spent most of the day yesterday reading though your fabulous entries and didn't even make it through half of you.  I promise that I will visit each and every entry and will comment.  It just make take me a few days to get to all of them.  :)

So, in lieu of a WIP Wednesday blogpost today, I'm going to encourage you to visit a few more entries from yesterday and give your fellow blogfest participants some love.  But first two quick announcements:

1.  I hit 500 followers!!!  
I'm so excited.  I had set a goal to hit 500 by my one-year blogging anniversary, but that's not until end of June.  So, thanks to everyone who has signed up to follow and helped me reach my goal ahead of time!  I ♥ y'all.  :)

2.  The winner of the Amazon gift certificate from the blogfest is....Donna Hole!!!!
Congrats, Donna!  Email me at fictiongroupie(at)gmail(dot)com to let me know what email address you want me to send the gift certificate to.

Alright, now everyone go do some more blogfest reading.  :)  Hope you all have a great day!

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"That's What Friends Are For" - Dionne Warwick
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

The Let's Talk Blogfest is Here!

 

    

Woo-hoo!  It's finally here.  I'm so excited that we have so many people signed up.  And if you haven't joined, it's not too late.  Maybe we can hit 100 participants!

 

Go here to sign up and to check out links to all the other entrants.  The prize is still up for grabs as long as you sign up by midnight Central time tonight.  (Winner will be announced on tomorrow's post.)

I can't wait to read everyone's contribution!

And without further ado, here is my entry.  This is a "past" scene from my dual timeline WIP and is still in rough draft form so there are some place holder smiles and actions that I need to fill but hope you enjoy anyway!

 
 
 

Brynn fought the urge to roll her eyes as she watched the other girls in the campaign office fawn over the senator-to-be’s son.  Reid had only been in the building for ten minutes and already, her fellow coeds had provided him with cupfuls of coffee and an eyeful of cleavage.  Not that Reid looked like he minded.  He leaned back in his desk chair and graced the two women with his sly smile. 
Brynn shook her head.  Must be nice to have things handed to you without having to work for it.  College paid for, a cushy summer job, and designer jeans that probably cost more than her entire wardrobe—all because you were lucky enough to win the parent lottery.
She dropped her gaze back to the pink notepad in front of her and scribbled down the message from the phone call she’d taken a few minutes earlier.  She tore the sheet off and put it on the growing stack of “while you were out” notes for the campaign manager.  Her neck ached from cradling the phone to her ear all morning, but she wasn’t going to complain.  This new receptionist gig sure beat running the register at the Chicken Fried Chick down the street.  She’d take sore muscles over hair that smelled like fryer grease any day.
The sound of a throat clearing made her raise her head.  Reid propped a hip on the edge of her desk and peered down, his dark blue eyes analyzing her.  “Brynn, right?”
She sat straighter in her chair in attempt to look more professional.  “Yes, sir.  Brynn LeBreck.”
His mouth curled at the corner.  “I’m only a year or two older than you, I don’t think you need to call me sir.  Although, it sounds kind of nice coming from you.  You have a good voice.”
She groaned inwardly.  All these girls tripping over themselves and he was going to flirt with her?  Super.  Not that he wasn’t nice to look at, but she didn’t have time for guys right now, especially ones who were related to the man who signed her much-needed paycheck.  She forced a polite smile.  “Guess that’s why they hired me to answer phones.”
He shook his head.  “No, Dad said he offered you the job because you were giving an unruly customer what-for when he went in to get lunch one day.  Figured you’d be able to handle all the craziness around here just fine.”
She smirked at the memory.  Mr. Jamison had laughed his butt off at the dressing down she’d given that redneck who had ogled her cleavage and asked if they charged more for large breasts.  Ten minutes later, the politician had given her his card and told her to stop by his office if she wanted to talk about a job opening he had.   “Yeah, not my proudest moment, but that guy deserved it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Dad said you insulted the dude’s manhood…and his mother.”
She threw her hands up.  “Well, the guy was being an asshat.  What else was I supposed to do?”
He pressed his lips together as if holding back a laugh.
She cringed.  “Sorry.  That was inappropriate.”
He chuckled, the deep sound so genuine the tension in her shoulders relaxed.  “Don’t censor yourself on account of me.  I didn’t hire you.  I can’t fire you.  So no walking on eggshells necessary.  Talk dirty to me anytime you want.”
The corner of her mouth tilted up.  “If that’s your pick up line, I’d work on it.”
He frowned, his brows furrowing.  “No good?”
“Not so much.”
“Really?  Huh.”  He looked over his shoulder.  “I’d bet Molly or Krista over there would eat that s**t up.”
She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.  “I’m sure you could recite the Pledge of Allegiance and the sorority twins would turn cartwheels.”
He nodded, his face serious.  “That’s true.  They do recognize my innate awesomeness.  Too bad having a conversation with them is about as interesting as alphabetizing my music collection.”
She glanced over at the two girls in question.  Both were giving her versions of the stink eye.  He followed her gaze, and they quickly looked away. 
“I have a feeling I’m not getting an invite to mani-pedi night now.”
He turned back to her, his eyes sparkling with mischief.  “So, if I were to need a decent pick up line to entice, let’s say, a hot blonde who likes to talk dirty to have a burger with me, what would you suggest?”
Her cheeks heated, unable to fend off the effects of Reid’s easy charm.  No wonder he had girls following him around like ducklings.  She glanced down at her desk, wishing she could say yes, but knowing she couldn’t.  She and Reid Jamison lived on different planets.  She didn’t have time for flings or dating.  She needed to work, get through the summer, save every penny, and hopefully have enough to afford the move to Austin for school in the fall.  She looked up at Reid.  “I would suggest you find someone who has time to say yes.”
“Not even enough time for a simple burger?”
She shook her head.  “I’m in high demand these days.  Gotta book months ahead.”
He snorted.  “Good thing I wasn’t talking about you then.”
“Good thing.”
He rose from his perch and gave her a quick grin.  “Just know that I’m a pretty thick-headed guy.  Takes me a while to get a point.”
She straightened the papers he had mussed on her desk.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He gave her a mock salute.  “Nice to meet you, Brynn LeBreck.  Be seeing you.”

 

Let me know what you think and be sure to stop by all the other blogs participating today!  Thanks ahead of time to all of you who joined.  :)

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Talk Dirty To Me" - Poison
(player in sidebar if you want to take a listen)


 

Use Your Resources

 

   

 


First of all, I just want to remind everyone that tomorrow is the big day, the Let's Talk Blogfest!  If you haven't signed up, there is still time, go here.  (Go ahead, I'll wait.)  Right now we have over 80 people signed up, so it's going to be so much fun seeing what everyone comes up with!

 

Alright, moving on.  So Saturday I attended my monthly local RWA meeting and participated in a critique round table event.  Normally the meetings are workshops, but once a year they do this event where you submit your first chapter ahead of time and then they assign you one of the published authors in the group to give you an in-person critique.

Well, I was nervous to submit.  All of the critiquing I get is through my online group, so I've never had the face to face thing.  Plus, hello, published author looking at my work--what if I totally sucked?

But despite all that, I decided I would be silly not to take advantage  of such an opportunity.  People pay good money at auctions and such to get these kinds of critiques and I would get this opportunity for free.  So, I went ahead and submitted the first chapter of my contemporary romance WIP.  And I'm so glad I did.

My assigned author was Candace Havens, who has written a number of paranormal books and is a current Blaze author.  Some of you may already be part of her free online write workshop. (If you're not, go sign up, it's a killer resource with workshops, contests to win critiques, and all kinds of other helpful tidbits.)  I was so excited to find out she was who I'd been assigned.

The critique turned out to be amazing.  She said I didn't need a line edit because the writing was clean (yay for that), so she spent all the time on the big picture advice that I so needed (where to start that first chapter, what the editors are specifically looking for, how I needed to strengthen my heroine to stand up to my larger-than-life hero, and how to lighten up some areas that had gone a little too dark.)

I'm only a little ways into writing this one and her suggestions sparked all kinds of new ideas for my story and are going to lead me in much better direction then what I originally had planned.  And to get insight from an author who is actually writing for the line I'm targeting is priceless.  Not to mention it's nice to hear from someone I admire that I can write, lol (because some days, I honestly wonder.)

So, what's my point?  The point is that these kinds of resources are out there if you get linked in to the writing community around you.  Join your local writing groups.  The fee is usually low and my group does terrific monthly meetings with great speakers and topics.  Go to a conference.  I know they cost money, but many are reasonable --100-200 bucks for a 2-day thing--and you can save up for it in advance.  I think every writer should give themselves at least one of these a year. And if you live in an area where these things aren't available locally, use the many resources that are available to the online community. Don't be scared to jump in and just go for it.  I'm sure many members of my group did not sign up for the critique round table and missed the opportunity to get such a gift.

So, go out there and find what's available to you.  Give yourself that advantage.  And as a start, you can go sign up for Candace's workshop group--you have no excuse not to--it's free and available to anyone.

How about you?  Do you push yourself to take advantage of what's available to you or do you find yourself making excuses not to participate?  Are you comfortable online, but get nervous at the thought of doing something locally?  What great resource have you found?

 

*Today's Theme Song*
"What You Give" - Tesla
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

That's Not My Name: Pseudonyms

 

thinking 'bout tomorrow won't change how I feel today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSI
Photo by half alive
What do J.K. Rowling, Mark Twain, Amanda Quick, J.D. Robb, George Eliot, and Dr. Seuss all have in common?
They are all pen names.
In our fame hungry world, why are so many authors not using their real names? Isn't the dream to see our name scrawled across that book cover?
Well, maybe, but there are a lot of good reasons for going with a pen name instead of what's typed on your birth certificate. Here are a few:
1. Your parents were cruel and your name is just awful. Who wants to buy a book by Harry Butts?
2. Spelling or pronouncing your name requires a lesson.
3. You want to write in a genre whose readers are unconsciously gender-biased. (i.e. guy writing romance, woman writing political thriller).
4. You're already published in one genre (lucky you) and you want to write something completely different.
5. Your given name is Steve King or Lora Roberts and it’s just too close to another author’s.
6. Your write naughtiness and you don't want your mother or neighbors to know.
7. You can't pass up such a creative opportunity as coming up with a whole new name.
8. You're convinced your book is going to inspire stalkers.
9. Your name is common and boring.
10. You want all those bullies/ex-boyfriends/nemeses to KNOW what you’ve accomplished.
11. You're afraid your book is so freaking awesome that it will surely rocket you into uber fame and you just can't bear to lose your reclusive life.
I've discussed this before.  In fact, this is a modified post of one I did last year.  I even tried on a pen name for a while here on the blog--which ultimately didn't work out.  Picking a new name that you feel comfortable with is harder than it looks.
Most commenters at the time recommended I just stick with my real name, but now that I'm venturing into writing erotic romance,  I've come to the conclusion that a pseudonym will be in order.  Not because I'm embarrassed by what I write.  But there are many people who are judgmental of the genre and I'd rather not have the kiddo, my husband, family deal with that.  It also could be an issue when I return to the working world.  
So, most likely, if this newest WIP finds a publishing home, I will pick a new name.  However, if Harlequin buys Wanderlust, I will probably use my real name on that one (or maybe just pick a different last name).  We'll see.  Hopefully, I have to face that quandary.  :)
Now, if you're like me and are considering a pseudonym, what elements should you consider in picking that name?
1.  It's been said that what works best rolling off the tongue is a two-syllable first name and a one-syllable last name. 
2.  Make sure it's easy to spell and pronounce.
3.  Many recommend picking something earlier in the alphabet so you're shelved higher in the bookstore.  
4.  Consider in your genre who you would be shelved next to.
5.  Make sure another author doesn't have too similar of a name.
6.  Be wary of structures like St. Whatever as a last name.  Many workers don't know if it should be shelved under Sa for Saint or St for St.  You don't want your readers to have to struggle to find you.
7.  Please (especially if your write romance) do not pick something that could double as a stripper name.  Some of the names I've seen out there seriously give me pause--like if the author thought that pen name was a good idea, I worry their book is going to be just as cringe-worthy.)
8.  Make sure it's something you'll feel comfortable answering to if you're doing a book-signing or giving a workshop, etc.
9.  Don't make it so long that it's not going to fit on the book spine.
I'm sure there are others, but those are what come to mind.  See, not so easy to decide on one.
So what are your feelings on pen names?  Do you plan to use one?  Why or why not?  Do any of the above reasons apply to you?  And if you are already using a pen name, how did you decide what to pick?

 

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"That's Not My Name" - The Ting-Tings
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

WIP Wednesday and Blogfest Reminder

 


I've been a woman possessed this week.  Since last Wednesday, I've added 12k words to my WIP.  Hollah!  I wish I could tie up my muse and force him (yes, he's male, I write romance, people) to stick around until I finish this thing--but he doesn't respond well to threats.  So I will exploit him while he's here and get everything I can out of this streak.

 

I'm also happy to report that during this streak I've been able to just write without that b*tch of an internal editor (yes, she's a chick) holding me back.  I know that I'll have to go back and revise and tighten up motivations, inject better words for the place-holding adverbs and weak verbs, and deal with how best to arrange the chapters in this dual timeline story, but the story  is On. The. Page.  Which is most important for me right now.  I'm still not sure how long this one will end up being, but I'm thinking another 20-30k will get me to where I want to go.

 Then I can enter my favorite part of the process--revising.  (Yes, I know, I'm insane to enjoy that part.  But once I have a rough draft, my anxiety level decreases and my mind can relax and see the story more clearly.)

Alright, now a friendly reminder: next Tuesday is the Let's Talk Blogfest!  We have seventy people signed up, so if you want to be part of the cool kids, go here and sign up.  It's going to be a lot of fun and get can all kinds of new people to your blog (and there's even a prize involved).  For those of you who have signed up--thanks--and I hope you've got your excerpt ready.  I look forward to reading everyone's contributions.  :)

So, how's your WIP going?  What's the gender of your muse or internal editor?  Do you find you write in big bursts then hit a wall and have to wait for the next streak to hit or are you more methodical?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Don't Go Away" - Buckcherry
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

The Beta Club: Meadowlark (YA) - Come Critique!

 


It's Beta Club Tuesday!  YA on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Georgia Cranston (Check her out here.)
Title: Meadowlark
Genre: YA

Excerpt:


I hear her voice before I see her.  A slow mournful song, thick with loss and longing. 
I put down the trap I'm setting, lifting my head towards the sound coming from further up the path.  The notes are strong, pleading; They call to me.  I move quickly through the tree's and up the trail, her voice pulling me along on invisible threads until I am standing at the edge of a wash looking down.
She's kneeling in the mud and snow at the edge of the river below me, her hands grasped tightly to the hand of a girl laying beside her. 
"Lark."  I say to myself, her name caught in my throat.  I've seen her at the market with her mother and sister.  Her mother sells herbs and medicines while Lark and her sister sing for coins.  I've only ever spoken to her one time, a mumbled apology for bumping into her.  She'd just smiled her forgiveness and we both moved on.  I always wished I had said more, I've imagined a thousand conversations...  I just never had the courage.
My legs move, before I can even think.  I climb down off the trail into the wash, being careful where I step.  The rocks and dirt have become loose this spring with the melting snow.
I hadn't thought she'd noticed as I came up behind her, but just as I approach she quiets her singing and turns to look at me over her shoulder.  Her eyes are a storm.  Grey and green, with flecks of gold, staring at me between strands of yellow hair. 
She turns her gaze back to the hand she's holding. Her sister Wren, I realize.  The girl is dead.  Her leg twisted at an unnatural angle, her eyes staring into nothing.  Blood spread out beneath her head, a steaming crimson pool carving little canyons into the snow. 
"She tripped."  Lark looks towards the trail high above us.  "She tripped and fell over the edge.  I was singing for her...  Wren loves when I sing, I thought if she could just hear me..."  Her voice breaks.
I kneel beside Lark in the mud, gathering her into my arms, this girl I barely know.  She blinks, a tear slowly trails down her cheek.  And I just sit.  Staring.  Frozen;  Not sure what to do, because nothing I can do would ever make this right .   Her shoulders drop, and she turns to press her face into my chest letting her sister's hand go.  Her tears come quickly then, soaking into my jacket.  Her body heaves and shakes with each sob.  Her knuckles are clenched, white, grasping onto my shirt.  I wish I could shield her from her pain but all I can do is whisper her name into her hair.  

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

 

 
 
 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

An Apology

 


In the words of Fiona Apple--I've been a bad, bad girl.  And it's about time I start apologizing.  Blogging is important to me.  Every day I try to come up with a post that I think you guys will get something out of.  Sometimes I accomplish that, sometimes not.  But despite what's going on in my life, I usually try to make sure I post five days a week.  So that, I've stuck to.

 

However, what I have slacked off on is what I like about blogging the most--interacting with all my bloggy friends.  You guys are brilliant and insightful and supportive.  You write blog posts that make me think or laugh or teach me something.  And I used to dedicate a big part of my morning to reading and commenting on all these posts--not out of some reciprocation obligation, but because I enjoyed it.

But over the last few months, I can say, I've gotten to the point where I barely read more than five or so blogs most days.  And usually it's because someone tweeted the post and I can easily click over to it when the title catches my attention.  Even my industry standbys--Nathan Bransford, Janet Reid, Pub Rants--have gone from daily reads to occasional ones.

I also used to respond to every comment left on one of my posts because, seriously, I LOVE getting comments and am so thankful to those of you who take the time to say something.  I still read each and every comment, but there are days I don't get around to responding back in the comments (and yes, I'm still bitter that Blogger doesn't have threaded comments to make this more efficient).

And I wish I had some respectable excuse as to why, but really it's just a combination of things.  One is that the more followers I get (thanks to all of you, btw), the harder it is to make sure I get out to everybody's blogs.  It also means I don't auto-follow back anymore because I don't want to make a promise to someone by following and then never make it back over to their blog.  The other thing is that when I'm in rough drafting mode, I'm consumed with the need to write and between doing the normal life things we all have (being a mom, wife, housekeeper, cook, friend, critique partner, etc.), I only have so much time to dedicate to other things--so doing blog stuff falls to the wayside if I have decide between it and writing.

Now, I know that's not a unique story--each one of you balances similar things each day--but I'm just letting you know why I've become a less active blog buddy.  It is not because I don't heart you.

Crap, did I just say it's not you, it's me?  Well, it's the truth.  :)  I'm going to try to do better, but I doubt I will ever be able to maintain the level of commenting and blog reading I used to until I'm in editing mode again.  So, I hope that you will continue to stop by and comment even though I'm not always the best reciprocator.  And if you have any tips to share on how you balance your blog stuff with your writing, let me know!

So am I only the one feeling this guilt?  How do you balance your blogging/internet stuff with your writing and every day life stuff?  Do you expect blog reciprocation--here's a great article on that btw)?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Criminal" - Fiona Apple
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

Friday Face Off: E-Publishing

 

As aspiring authors, our goal is to get published (Yes, I'm playing the role of captain obvious today). That used to be a straightforward plan. Write great book, land an agent, get a publishing contract, see book on shelf. Done. Right?
Well now there are more options than that. The rapidly rising industry of ebooks is beginning to change the face of publishing. Now, instead of just having hold-in-your-hand printed books, there are e-books and self-publishing and print on demand technology. Things are changing fast and we better pay attention.
But my question is, if you don't have luck with the traditional route, should you consider the ebook publishers?  (I'm not going to talk about self-publishing. Weronika discussed that if you are curious about that direction.)
Ebooks are gaining popularity, especially in the areas of romance, erotica, and fantasy/science fiction. And more and more companies are producing devices--Kindles, SonyEreaders, the Nook, and of course the new I-pad are just a few of the options.
So, is this a good route to get your words out there? I know most of us would prefer the traditional route because distribution and sales are still much greater this way, so I'm not going to pit that against ebooks. Instead, I'm going to look at the pros and cons of going with an e-publisher if you haven't had luck landing an agent or traditional NY publisher. 
Is it better to be e-published or is it better to tuck your manuscript away and move on to the next project?
E-Publishing vs. Waiting out the "Book in the store" dream


For love of technology:

 --An Ebook can be your springboard--This gets your name out there and gains readers. The early titles of Sherrilyn Kenyon, Angela Knight, and Sylvia Day were released as ebooks before they had books in traditional format. (source)  And the more conferences I go to, the more I hear authors say they started in the ebook world and then were able to move into print publishing because of the success they built in that format.

--The turnaround to get published is quicker
--Royalty percentages are usually higher with ebook publishers
--Environmentally friendly--same great book, less waste
--More control--it's been said that epublishers are often very author friendly
--Your book is published and not gathering dust in a drawer
--Genres such as romance have big gains in ebook readership
--Readers get a reasonable price on your book
--Once someone owns a e-reader (speaking from experience), it's easier to make an impulse buy. You hear about the book, sixty seconds later, it's on your reader. I did this yesterday in fact. If I had had to purchase this recommendation from my friend from a bookstore, I probably would have never gotten around to buying it.
--Because the upfront costs are lower, the e-publishers can take more risks, so they may give you a shot when an agent or traditional publisher couldn't because of market conditions/similar stories in their hopper/editor preferences/etc.  This is why erotic romance started in ebook world--print publishers didn't think there was a market for it.  Then, when those things started selling like crazy (women readers are naughtier than anyone thought), all the big publishers hopped on board and added erotic romance lines.


In defense of holding out for NY:

--Your ebook will not be on a shelf at the local bookstore. Your grandmother will never believe you are published.  However, some of the epubs do also put books into print (Samhain, Wild Rose Press, etc.)
--Ebooks have a stigma attached to them that they are not as high quality as traditionally published books. (I read a lot of ebooks and I have not found this to be true, btw.  In fact, I read an ebook and a traditionally pubbed this week- both erotic romance - and the ebook was really good whereas the big name publisher one was awful.)
--If you eventually get traditionally published with a different manuscript, you can dust off that first novel, revise, and try to get it published now that you're established.
--The number of people who own e-reading devices is still pretty low. The upfront cost for a reader is significant.
--You may not feel satisfied because it is a modified version of your dream.
--Distribution and income can be limited with ebook publishing. 
--Some genres are not as ebook friendly.  If you write romance (especially sexy or erotic romance) you have lots of e-pub choices.  If you write young adult or literary fiction, the choices are much more limited.
By the way, if you're curious about e-publishers, here are some of the bigger ones to check out:  Samhain, Wild Rose Press, Carina Press (Harlequin's new epub), and Ellora's Cave (erotic only).  And for a more complete list, click here.  If you haven't tested out any ebooks, I suggest buying a few and getting a feel for what's out there.  If you don't have an ereader, many offer print versions.
By nature, I'm an early adopter with technology.  So if my submission doesn't work out with Harlequin, I will probably pursue this route to see if there is interest in my book.  I read a lot of ebooks and  have been introduced to a number of authors this way, so I think it's a valid route to "break in".  However, I'm curious to hear your own thoughts.

So what's your opinion? If you tried to go the traditional route and it didn't work out, what would you do? Would you try to submit to an e-publisher or would you bury your manuscript and move on? I'd love to hear from those who have been e-published as well. What was your experience?
*This is an updated version of a post I did in September 2009*
 

 


**Today's Theme Song**
"My Generation"-- Limp Bizkit

(player in sidebar, take a listen-but be warned, dirty words in this one)

 

Writer Phobia: The Last Idea

 


Recently, I've done posts on waiting to query the first novel and on working on more than one WIP at a time.  In the comments of some of these posts, a few of you have expressed a fear that I think is common among writers (including myself.)  What is it?

 

The fear that you only have one amazing idea and if that book doesn't work out, you're not sure if there is anything left in the well.

I definitely had this fear when I was writing my first novel.  And pretty much anytime I'm writing something new, there is a point where I have the paralyzing thought: "What if this is my last idea?"

I know there are some of you who get ideas as often as I get hunger pains (damn diet), but I am not one of those people.  I may get a whisper of a scene or a hint of a character, but nothing fully formed or particularly high concept ever just smacks me over the head.

When I'm ready to start something new, I have to make a conscious effort to open up my mind and brainstorm for a few days or weeks.  And thankfully, so far, I've always had another story come to me.

So when that fear hits me, I try to remember that the ideas will come when they're ready.  My theory is that I'm too one-track minded.  I don't have room for new ideas when I'm writing my current story because I'm totally immersed in this story and these characters and nothing else seems nearly as awesome or enticing.  I can't open the doors to my brain until my current project is done living there.

So just keep in mind when this phobia takes over that it's unfounded.  We are creative people.  I guarantee that none of us only has one great idea.  Sometimes we just need to get some distance from our current idea/book to make room for new characters to check into the inn.

Now, how about you?  Have you ever had this phobia?  Or, are you one of those people who gets ideas so often that there isn't enough time in the day to pursue them all (What? No, i'm not turning green. *ducks head*)?  


If you have had this fear (*bumps knuckles with you*), what did you do to get past it?  Do you have to step away from one project in order to get your idea factory churning?


**Thanks for all your feedback yesterday on the Beta Club.  Starting today, I'm officially moving the feature to one day a week.  So Tuesdays will be Beta Club day.  If you have already signed up, your dates will be adjusted accordingly.  Hopefully this change will result in authors getting more feedback on the day they go up.  :)  Thanks again for letting me know your preferences!**

**Today's Theme Song**
"Leave a Light On" - Belinda Carlisle
(player in sidebar, take a listen for an 80s flashback)


 

WIP Wednesday: Submissions, Crit Groups, and Nashville

 



I received an update on my submission to Harlequin this week, so I thought this would be a perfect time for a WIP Wednesday.  I haven't done one in a long while and there are a number of things that could stand for a little update love.  So here we go...


My Wanderlust Submission


I queried Harlequin Blaze eight months ago.  Three months later they requested my full and told me to expect a 3-5 month wait on turnaround.  I will hit the five month mark in a about a week.  So, when I won the Great Expectations contest (and got a recommendation from the Harlequin editor who judged the contest), I sent a follow-up letter (Harlequin does everything by snail mail) and settled in to wait again.


This week I received the terrifying soul-sucking bane of my existence self-addressed stamped envelope.  My husband handed it to me with that look - like he was preparing his I-love-you-and-you're-awesome-no-matter-what-some-editor-says speech.  So, I tore open the letter and--thank the heavens--it was only an update.  *phew*  The editor congratulated me on the contest win and assured me that I'm on top of her to be read pile.  So, I need all  of you to send positive thoughts in Canada's direction (where their offices are) that the read goes well.


My Critique Group


After feeling like a literary agent for a week, reading through all the contest entries, we have chosen not one but two new members for our group!  The amount of talented people who applied to the contest was awesome, so it was not an easy decision.  But I am excited to welcome Suzanne and Katrina to our little group!


The Beta Club


I'm on the fence about whether or not I should continue the Tues/Thur Beta Club feature here on the blog.  Comments have been dropping off and yesterday the number of comments was downright dismal.  And that was not due to the entry--which was a delight to read.  I know putting yourself up for public critique is difficult enough, but it's even harder when you put yourself out there and then you get no comments.  So I don't want to put authors through that if they are not getting a decent payoff from it.  And I don't want this to just be about me giving someone a critique.  The variety of opinions is what makes the feature so helpful to authors.  So if everyone is tiring of the feature, that's fine.  We'll move on.  If not, then let me know that too.  (Either way, if you have already submitted to the Beta Club, you will get a crit from me.  If I do decide to discontinue the feature, I will just send the crit to you privately.)


My Current WIPs


I'm 41k into my erotic romance.  I still think I'm a little nuts to do this dual timeline thing, but I feel like it's what the story needs, so I'm striding on in my insanity.  I'm not sure how long this one is going to be, but at 40k, I figure I'm at least halfway through.  So yay for that.


My contemporary romance WIP is at 18k and I'm starting it with my crit group.  I'm hoping to get the other WIP fully drafted before diving headlong back into this one.  As I discussed on Monday, drafting two at once is a major challenge for my one-track mind.


RWA Nationals


As many of you know, I recently signed up to attend RWA Nationals in Nashville, which I was very excited about.  Unfortunately, the city of Nashville have suffered a devastating flood--which has also ruined the Gaylord Opryland hotel, where our conference was going to be held.  So, right now, things are up in the air.  RWA is looking to move it somewhere else if they can.  But they book these things ten years in advance and it's a big convention, so not an easy task.  Hopefully they don't cancel it altogether.  But more importantly, I hope you will all keep the people of Nashville in your thoughts.  Having grown up in New Orleans, I know how horrible flooding can be, so I hope the city can get on its feet soon.  And speaking of New Orleans, please send positive thoughts to the Gulf Coast as well with that terrible oil spill.


Alright, I think that's all the updates!  Sorry for the mishmash, but I wanted to make sure I hit all these topics.  


So, how is your WIP going?  Do you have any submissions out there that you're waiting on?  What's your feeling about the Beta Club--nix it or keep going?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Everything" - Buckcherry
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Beta Club: The Face of a Lion (Middle Grade) - Come Critique!

 



It's Beta Club Day!  On today's agenda, our first middle grade!  So, I hope you'll take the time to take a look and let the author know what you think.

 

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Deniz Bevan (check out her site here!)
Title: The Face of a Lion
Genre: Middle Grade Historical/Time Travel

Excerpt:
 
 

Austin met the cat during his first week in Turkey.
Bored with helping his parents clean their villa, he set out to explore the town. Every few minutes he had to climb onto the stone wall edging the street – there were never any sidewalks in this country – when a car or bus full of tourists whizzed past on the narrow road, a stench of diesel fumes floating behind. As the roar of each vehicle faded, the seaside sounds rushed back into his ears: the drone of motorboats slicing the water, cicadas buzzing in the distant tops of the fir trees, and below everything else, the unending rhythmic crash of waves breaking one after another on the sand.
He waited on the wall as another car zoomed by, then peered through the exhaust and added up the houses he had passed. His mum had said there were forty houses in the original village. Something had to be wrong somewhere, because he had counted every house for the past ten blocks and there were still a few streets to cross before he reached the ice cream shop –
An unearthly howl filled the air, drowning out the disappearing rumble of the car. It came again, a long-drawn out screech, close at hand. Austin ran to the crossroads and looked down into the weed-filled garden of a boarded-up villa. On a patch of paving stones, two kids crouched over the prone figure of a thin grey cat. One gripped its front paws as the other tied a couple of tin cans to its tail. The cat wrenched and jerked its back legs.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
His yell was swallowed by the roar of two buses zooming past behind him, and a truck loaded with watermelons that came clacketing up the street. He looked down, ready to risk a jump, and saw a garden shed directly below. He leaped, and as the boys glanced up, hands still on the squirming cat, he vaulted off the shed's roof to stand beside them.
"What are you up to?" He glared, trying to look as imposing and foreign as possible – easy enough, given the contrast of his blond hair and blue eyes to their own dark features. They looked about eight years old, four years younger than him. They shot each other shifty glances out of the corners of their eyes.
"Abi, yabancı bu. Bizden büyük."
"Ya birini çağırırsa? Hadi gidelim."
It was impossible – but he had understood what they said! They were afraid because he was older – what if he called someone?
He took a step forward, as if to grab the cat. As one, they released their grip, leapt up and ran off.
The cat crouched low on all four paws, eyes wide and ears taut, but did not move as Austin approached. If it would just trust him… With one hand extended, palm out, he waited. Either the cat would sniff the offered fingers or get up and run.
Slowly, slowly, he bent and untied the twine binding the tins to a tail puffed out and crackling with electricity. The cat did not twitch once, even as Austin broke away the last of the metal and tossed it aside, but eyed him the entire time, as if waiting for a signal.
He stroked the cat between the ears and, to his surprise, heard the low rumble of purring. The yellow eyes narrowed and, for a moment, he had the silly idea the cat was actually smiling at him.
"Thank you."
He had been bending forward, petting. He overbalanced and nearly tipped over, palms flat on the tiles to keep from pitching head first into the cat.
Had it actually spoken? He gazed at the shadowy creature, who had stopped purring, but stayed still, yellow eyes fixed on him. Had he really heard –
"Thank you, Augustine."
There it was again! Not meowing or purring, but chirping, like a new species of bird. And under that tone, he could have sworn the cat had spoken in English.
He peered around the garden. No, there was definitely no one else near. He sat and stared back into the unblinking eyes. Far down on the beach, he could still hear the ordinary shouts and laughter of tourists, and the unending whine of cicadas and crash of surf. The smell of fried fish floated up from the restaurants on Ocean Boulevard.
He said the first thing that came into his mind. "My name's not Augustine, it's Austin. After my great-grandfather." He kept his voice low, as though he might be overheard. Silly, talking formally to an animal – the cat wasn’t really talking was it?
But the chirping English came again. "In Latin, your name is Augustine, or Augustus. In Ancient Greek it would be Σεβαστός."
Sebastos. Austin heard the cat's mrrp!, the soft Greek letters, and yet understood the name as if it was in English. "But no one speaks those languages anymore!"
"Perhaps not here, Augustine. Yet I know a number of languages from a variety of places, and times. In return for your kind gesture today, rescuing me from those young hooligans," the cat rested a paw on Austin's knee, "I may be able to do something for you. Not a favour, exactly, but I fancy you're a little bored here?"
"How did you know?"
"You were not walking with a friend and you had time to notice an animal in distress." The cat sat up, so that they were nearly face to face. "I can lead you to an adventure."
"An adventure? Where would we go?"
"Not where but when."



Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.
Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

**Today's Theme Song**
"Time Is On My Side" - Rolling Stones
(player in sidebar, take a listen)
*sorry Deniz, couldn't find your song choices on playlist.com, so had to pick another*


 

Are You a Monogamous Writer or Do You Cheat?

 


I'm typically a one-WIP girl.  My mind gets completely immersed in one story, and I don't have reserves to concentrate on anything else at the same time.  But recently, I've found myself hopping back and forth between two.  My erotic romance is on the front burner and is the one I'm actively writing.  However, my crit group is critting my first few chapters of my second book in the Wanderlust series (Constant Craving) right now, so I'm having to pay attention to that one as well.  And eventually, they are going to hit my chapter five, which is the point I've written to, and will be encouraging me to get to writing the rest of the book.

 

So I'm kind of maintaining a primary relationship with my WIP, while having a bit of action on the side with the other manuscript.  :)  And that's hard for me.  I know a lot of you can regularly juggle a number of different stories, but I'm not sure how you do it.

So I'm curious to hear how (and if) you balance that.

Do you work on one until you get stuck, then jump to the other?  Do you allot a certain amount of time for each one?  Do you just work on the one that is inspiring you the most that day?  Or, are you like me and try to completely finish one before starting another?


Oh, and speaking of cheating (at least fictionally), I went to the 30 Seconds to Mars concert this weekend and got this close to Jared Leto *swoon*.  A man has to be seriously hot to be able to pull off a pink mohawk, but he does it.  Just thought I'd share because I know I'm not the only one who shares the crush.  (For the record, the concert was really great, too.)

 

 

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Your Cheatin' Heart" - Patsy Cline
(player in sidebar, take a listen)