Crit Groups: Godsend or Time Suck?


A few weeks ago, my crit partner Lynnette did a post about advice a published author gave her.  I encourage you to read her post, but in a nutshell, this author friend asked her what was holding her back from finishing her book.  And she said time.  Like all of us, she has a lot on her plate.  Here's what her friend told her:
My author friend advised me to quit the crit group and focus on finishing my novel. He felt writers only need critique groups for validation or they get stuck in the land of perfectionism and never get anywhere with their writing.
Now, lucky for me, Lynnette didn't heed this advice and is sticking with the group because she feels the time put in is worth the gain.  But it is an interesting debate to ponder.

Personally, joining a crit group was one of the best things I did for my writing.  I definitely don't have a group of lemmings.  Sure they dole out smiley faces and lols, but they aren't afraid to give me an ass-kicking either.  IMO, it's impossible to see your own work objectively after being in it so long, so other eyes have been invaluable.  I think it's no coincidence that after I joined my group, my writing started finaling in contests.

However, I won't pretend that it doesn't take away time from my own writing.  When I'm in the drafting phase, it's really hard for me to put my story on the side to jump into someone else's with a critical eye.

If I could create a perfect scenario, I would set it up so that while I was drafting I stepped out of the group and concentrated on my story.  Then , when I had a complete draft, step back in and start exchanging crits.  (Unlike some, I work best with receiving crits after the story is done then getting them along the way.  Getting crits while I'm still writing the story muddies my thoughts a bit and can seize up my pantsing brain.)  But it's not fair to do the step in/step out thing because we're not all drafting at the same time.

So I make time for it because I think it's important and value those ladies' opinions tremendously.

But I'm really curious to hear your opinions.  Are you in a crit group or have beta readers?  Do you think what you get from it is worth the amount of time and energy you put into it?  And what do you think of Lynnette's friend's opinion--that crit groups are just there for validation and to make you obsessive about your work?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Somebody Told Me" - The Killers
(player in sidebar, take a listen)



Are You Tied to Your Genre?

 

There is a lot of focus out there on creating a brand for yourself.  This includes a number of components--your website, your voice, your blog, how you present yourself, etc.  (Sierra has talked about this recently.)  This also includes your genre.

 

If you write chick lit, you're probably not going to have a website with storm clouds and ominous music.  If you write dark paranormal, you better not have pictures of rainbows and puppies with a pink color scheme.  Wait...on second thought...NO ONE should have that theme, I don't care the genre.

But if you go through all this trouble to brand yourself before you're published, does this mean you're locking yourself into one genre?  I know nothing is physically holding you back from changing themes and images at any time, but it almost acts as part of the mental box we put ourselves in.  (I'm a YA Writer, I'm a suspense writer.)

I understand that in order to build readership once you get published, it's important to establish yourself in one genre before venturing into something else.  But, before we're published, we don't have that monkey on our back.  We can write whatever the heck we want--and some say it's good to do so.

When we're first starting, we're not always sure of our voice or where it fits best.  Instead, we usually just jump into writing what we love to read.  My first book was a darker YA paranormal because at the time that's what I was reading most.  But then I realized what I liked most about writing that book was the romance part.  And I knew if I changed to writing an adult romance for the next book, I wouldn't have to worry about those pesky restrictions about how sexy the book could be, lol.

So that's what I did.  And it was even more fun for me to write.  Now I'm finishing up an erotic romance--still under the romance genre, but a different market and tone.  Writing each has been a different challenge, but I've enjoyed flexing my writing muscles and testing out the different areas.  And I think hopping around genres has really helped me from getting in a rut or from having my stories/characters bleed into one another.

So I encourage you to not lock yourself into one box.  Sometimes the best palate cleanser after finishing one book is writing something in totally new area for the next one.  You might discover your niche is something completely different from what you originally thought.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.  Do you stick to one genre?  If so, are you ever tempted to write something else?  Where do you think your voice could work besides the genre you're writing in?  If you have tried others, what genres have you experimented with?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Not Myself Tonight" - Christina Aguilera
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

What to Ask Beta Readers

 

Question Mark Graffiti

Photo by Bilal Kamoon

Sometimes the hardest part about a a critiquing relationship is finding people to exchange work with in the first place.  Yesterday, I put the call out asking for beta readers and you guys were awesome.  Thank you to each of you who volunteered.  I'm beyond appreciative.

But now that I have readers for my book and am going to be beta reading in return, what's the next step?  What exactly do I need from them and they from me?  These expectations are important to set up before you exchange work.
One of the biggest issues is what level of feedback you are looking for. With my critique group, we want it all--detailed line edits, big picture stuff, repetitive words, whatever we can find (similar to what I give on Beta Club days).  This is great to get but is also a slow, time-consuming process.  To get through one book that way can take months.
For the new betas I connected with yesterday, I'm going to be asking for global feedback.  Did you like it?  Did it make sense?  What parts lost your interest?  Did you fall in love with my hero, connect with my heroine?  Did anything make you want to beat your head against the wall?  Were you invested in the story and the characters?  etc.
But as I was thinking through my questions, I searched to see if they was something more organized and ran across the questionnaire below.  I really like the structure of this one, although I will be tweaking a few things. (Don't worry betas, I won't be asking if the love scenes made you hot.  I don't need to get that personal, lol.)

Now, I'm pasting this in because the author said on the site to feel free to share, so that's what I'm doing.  You can find the original copy here.  Hope you find it as helpful as I did.

 

 

Is it BORING?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Does any part of the story Drag?
  • Are their parts that you skipped to get to ‘the good part’?
  • Do I over-inform anywhere?
Did you Get it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Did you understand every phrase / term I used?
  • If someone unfamiliar with this world or genre read this, have I explained enough for them to understand everything?
  •  -- Did I forget to mention that someone was demon-possessed, half angelic, or had mystical powers?
Love Scenes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Do any of the love scenes seem overly cliché? (Or overly sappy?)
  • Were the love scenes too fast, too slow, or too frequent?
  • Did you have to reread any part of the love scenes to understand who was doing what?
  • Did any action in the love scene make you cringe?
  •  -- Was your Comfort-Zone line crossed?
  • Did it make you hot?
Do the scenes FLOW?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Does one scene lead logically into the next?
  • Is there enough downtime between intense scenes to allow it to build to the next?
  • Did the actions & positions flow smoothly from one to the next, or did they jump as though something was skipped?
  • Were the Flashbacks smoothly integrated to fit onto the current scene -- or did they seem plopped in, like a chapter that was in the wrong place?  
Is anything VISUALLY Confusing?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Can you SEE every action clearly?
  • If you went there in real life, would you recognize the places?
  • Did you have to reread any part of the action sequences to understand who was doing what?
  • Could you SEE what the characters looked like clearly?
  • Did I forget to describe their Clothes, their Hair, their Eyes, any other distinctive feature that pertains to a specific character?
During DIALOGUE scenes…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Could you SEE what the characters were DOING while talking?
  • Could you SEE where the characters WERE while talking?
Did the Characters WORK?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Do the characters ACT realistic?
  • Does the Dialogue sound realistic?
  • Do their reactions seem logical & realistic?
  • Could you feel the Emotions between the characters?
  • Did the characters seem IN CHARACTER?
  • Who did you like best and WHY?
  • Who did you hate and WHY?
  • Who got on your nerves and WHY?
  • Does any one character get in the way of the STORY?

By the way, if you want more on beta-ing relationships, check out Justine Dell's blog.  She's done a whole series this week on her relationship with her beta, including sharing samples of their crits.

 

Alright, so I'm curious how your beta relationships work?  What expectations do you have for each other?  Do you seek the details or the global?  Do you give them questions upfront or do you wait and just ask follow-up questions when they're done?  Also, how'd you find your betas?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"You Get What You Give" - The New Radicals
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

WIP Wednesday and Seeking Betas

 

So I'm almost there...I can see it in the distance...the end.  I'm at 71,700 words as of this morning.  I'm thinking I'll probably get to around 80k before I type "the end".  I also have a chapter earlier in the book I left hanging that I need to finish, so I'm not sure where that will leave the word count.

 

I know there is a lot of work still to be done.  Beyond editing, I have a number of threads that I added later in the book (yes, pantsing my way along) that I have to go setup in the earlier chapters.  But I'm seriously excited about wrapping up the final chapters.  I've mentioned before that I struggle with endings, so once I have that on paper, I feel much better.  Editing and revising are much more comfortable for me (meaning I'm not a manic ball of anxiety like I am when I'm drafting), so I look forward to entering that stage.

Now, all this means that soon I will need beta readers.  Yes, I have a critique group.  They rock.  However, only one of the members is an erotic romance reader, so the rest don't feel qualified to crit this WIP.  (Plus, I understand that this genre is niche and not for everyone.)  So, I'm putting the call out.

I know most of you don't read this genre, but if anyone out there is an erotic romance reader (or writer) and you'd be willing to beta read for me, please email me (button in top right sidebar).  I'm looking for global feedback vs. line edit type crits.  Obviously, I'd be willing to crit your work back if you're a writer.  If you're interested, we could start with a few chapters to see if we fit as betas.  (Fair warning:  Before you volunteer, know that this book is not a spicy romance, it's erotic romance.  If you haven't read Harlequin Spice/Ellora's Cave/Berkley Heat type books, then this may not be the right fit.)

Alright, so how is your WIP coming?  Do you usually know where your word count is going to land?

**Today's Theme Song**
"This Is a Call" - Foo Fighters
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

The Beta Club: Warrior Monks (YA) - Agree with my Critique?

 

 



It's Beta Club Tuesday!  Young Adult is on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)


 For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.
 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below.

 

Author: Matthew Rush (check out his blog The Quintessentially Questionable Query Experiment)
Title: Warrior Monks
Genre: Young Adult


Beta Readers:  He would  love extra beta readers, so drop by his blog and let him know if you're interested :)

 

Excerpt:
 

Paradise Valley is a wild and pristine country in Boundary County, Idaho.  Its glens and meadows are strewn with hawthorn bushes and snowberry shrubs; its hills and mountainsides with Douglas Fir and Lodgepole Pine, their evergreen boughs springing forth from the hillsides like emerald whiskers roughening the chin of a slumbering elder god.  The land is cold and lonely, distant peaks flashing skyward, bounding up from the deepening shadows of the hollows in their wake.  Only the wind and silence grace it.
The county is the only one at the tip of the Idaho panhandle where it nestles up against the Canadian border like an afterthought.  The valley rests between the Cabinet and Selkirk mountain ranges and sprawls around the Kootenai River’s east fork.

The teepee sat in a field of long yellow grass at the foot of the “Mountain” known on the map only as 4032.  There were many mountains in the area – some like this one: just foothills; others real mountains whose batholithic crowns stretched above the tree line.  Apparently there were enough mountains in the area that the cartographers couldn’t be bothered to name them all.  The only notation this one received was its elevation above sea level.
The teepee was simple; so natural it could have sprung from the ground.  It was made of cured hide alternating with birch bark stretched over several wooden beams leaning together.  The bark had been cured until it looked like old leather from a distance.  The hide smelled like the musk gland of the elk that had been skinned to provide it.
It stood at the entrance to the reform school known as Rocky Mountain Academy.  Inside the teepee 13 teenagers sat cross-legged in a ring.  A wizened old man headed the east side.  They had just arrived.
They sat in the half-light of the teepee, dazed and reeling as their eyes slowly adjusted to the shadows filling the lower half and contrasting sharply with the blinding rays of sun soaking in through the smoke hole at the top.  A few shifted restlessly as they turned their attention to the old man.  One pulled his ear buds from his ears, the tinny sounds of KRS-One’s “The Sound of the Police” ceasing as he shut his walkman off.
“Hello.  Welcome to RMA.”
Some of them fidgeted a little and dug into the dirt beneath them.  The others looked up and tried to gauge what sort of man this was.
“There are certain things about life, the universe and nature,” the bald old monk began with a resonant voice that belied his frail appearance, “that we here hold as fact and will hopefully be able to instill in all of you as we attempt to broaden your understanding of the world around you.”
He relaxed in the lotus position.  The long yellow grass gathered around his legs and seemed to caress him as he sat there gazing at the students from under his stern grey eyebrows.  A pair of dried up bushy caterpillars, they stood out sharply against the shiny-smooth baldness of his pate.
“One is that the energy that makes up all things is constantly in motion around our bodies, and that once you have obtained a knowledge of it, you can learn to manipulate it; in a way, and to be in harmony with it.”  He continued, gazing at the group attempting to gauge their reactions.
He tugged on one of the long, drooping ends of his mustache which hung past his chin in wisps like the greyed boughs of some ancient weeping willow to form a fu-manchu.  He glanced around the room again; knowing they had no idea what he was talking about.  “You are all new here so we must go over what is expected of you and what it is we do here.”  He stood up and withdrew a scroll from the sleeve of his robe.


 

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

 
 
 
 
 
Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?
 




Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

**Today's Theme Song**
"I Burn" - The Toadies
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

Self-Editing Tips

This weekend I went to my monthly RWA meeting and had the privilege of hearing author Judi McCoy talk about self-editing.  (Check out her Dogwalker Mystery series here.)  Some of the tips we've already talked about on here, but the two that stood out for me were the following:

1.  Print out your manuscript to edit because you will miss things trying to edit on the computer
2.  Read your manuscript out loud or, even better, have a friend read it out loud to you.

I've done the first one at times, but honestly do most of my editing on the computer because I'm cheap (want to save ink and paper).  But perhaps, I need to take this advice. I definitely do find things in printed copies that I passed over time and time again on the electronic file.

 

The second one I've never done.  Occasionally, if I'm struggling with a paragraph or scene, I'll read some of it aloud. But I've never read the whole manuscript that way.  I could see how that would be extremely helpful because sometimes things just don't roll off the tongue and you can't catch it until you read it aloud.  Also, this is a great way to check the flow and naturalness of your dialogue.

So I think I'll try both of these when I finish my current WIP and see if it's helpful.

Now, a few quick things.  If you missed the Bad Boy Blogfest yesterday, you can check out my entry from Wanderlust here.  I'd love your opinion.  That page also as the link back to Tina Lynn's site to find all the entries for the fest.  They were super fun to read, so check them out.  :)

Also, the Beta Club queue has shortened to a month wait.  The next opening is July 27th.  So if you were considering sending something in, now would be a great time.  For details, you can click on the Free Critiques button at the top of this page.  :)

Alright, so what are some of your self-editing tips?  Do you print out your manuscript or edit it all on the computer?  Do you read it out loud?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Seek and Destroy" - Metallica
(player in sidebar, take a listen)



 

Bad Boy Blogfest

 

Today is Tina Lynn's Bad Boy Blogfest!  Okay, so admittedly I forgot about this blogfest until I saw people's entries go up today.  I usually pull something from my WIP for these, but today I'm going to use something from my completed romance, Wanderlust.  Hope you enjoy!

 

Setup:  Aubrey, a food writer, has been assigned to fill-in for the music reporter and cover Lex's band for a story.  Lex does not want her digging around because the band is having issues he doesn't want leaked to the press or record company.  This scene is in a dive restaurant with all band members and Aubrey.  Lex and Jared are at the bar getting drinks for the table.

 

Jared ordered a Crown and water and three beers, then leaned against the bar. “So what do you think of reporter girl?”
            Lex shrugged as he watched Aubrey laugh at something Sean said. “Kind of stuck up. She’s definitely a society girl.”
            Jared cocked his head. “You think? She seems kind of cool to me.”
            “She’s dangerous,” Lex warned. “She saw us fighting today. If we’re not careful, she could blow open all the sh*t we’re in to the world.”
            “Dude, you and Sean can’t go a day without fighting lately. How are we going to hide that?” The bartender lined up their drinks on the bar, and Jared dropped a tip on the counter.
            Lex grabbed his beer and took a swig. “I’m going to get her to drop the story.”
            “Seriously? How the hell are you going to do that?”
            Lex grinned. “I’m going to give her the full rock and roll experience, drag her so far out of her comfort zone that she’ll go running back to her four-star restaurants.”
            The drummer ran a hand through his short-cropped black hair. “Or I could just sleep with her.”
            Lex whipped his head around. “What?”
            Jared swirled his drink, then took a sip, his dark eyes dancing with mischief.  “If I screw her, then we could claim conflict of interest on the story, get her pulled off it. Plus, she’s hot. I’d totally be willing to take one for the team.” He pulled the stir stick out of his drink and tossed it on the bar.      
            Lex’s blood roared in his ears. “Jared, stay the hell away from her.”
            He lifted his eyebrows and raised a hand in defense. “Chill, dude. It was only a suggestion. If you want, you could be the one to nail her.”
            “Look, I’ll handle her, okay?”
            They made their way back to the table and handed out beers. Lex made sure to lean in between Sean and Aubrey to put the drink down so that Sean had to scoot his chair away from her. Lex slid back into his spot across from Aubrey. She had a pen in her hand and was making notes on a small pad she had placed on the table.
            Lex frowned. “What are you doing?”
            She looked up. “I was asking Sean a few questions for the story. He was telling me how you all met.”
            “Ahh, all work and no play for you, huh?”
            She twirled her pen in her fingers, considering him. “What would you like me to write? A story about which kind of sandwiches you guys prefer? I do have to ask some questions.”
            “A sandwich story? Isn’t that what you usually do?” Lex asked, smirking.
            Her eyes narrowed. “Something like that.”
            Lex could tell he was starting to annoy her—that telltale shade of anger was creeping into her cheeks. Good. “So how’d you get to be head food writer anyway? Aren’t food critics usually old? Does your daddy own the magazine or something?”
            Her jaw flexed, but her tone remained calm. “No, my father hasn’t done me any favors. But I guess you assume that’s how it works since I heard your daddy paved your way into the music business.”
            He counted to ten in his head to keep his composure. This girl didn’t back down. He wasn’t used to that. How long had it been since a woman even questioned him? Two years of yeses and whatever-you-wants had left him unsure of how to handle someone like Aubrey. He met her eyes. “Don’t believe everything you hear. We’ve paid our dues.”
            She held his gaze. “So have I.”
            He didn’t believe that for a minute. She had pampered written all over her, but he let it go. For now.
            “So what’s next?” Jared asked, tapping two straws on the table like they were his drumsticks. “It’s not even ten yet.”
            Lex smiled. “Well, I figured since we need to get some songs written, we should do something for inspiration.”
            Sean examined his reflection in the window next to their table, touching the tips of his blond spikes. “Like what?”
            “I’ve got a few ideas,” Lex said, slowly peeling the label off his beer. “I was thinking we’d go old school.”
            Jared gave him a knowing nod. “Gotcha, I’m in.”
            “Aubrey, how ‘bout you?” Lex asked.
            She gave him a pointed look and tucked her notebook into her purse. “As long as it’s legal, I’m up for whatever.”
            He attempted his most angelic smile. “Of course we wouldn’t ask you to do anything illegal.”

 

Alright, I'd love to hear what you think.  :)  And don't forget to check out the other entries in Tina's blogfest here.

**Today's Theme Song**
"Girl All the Bad Guys Want" - Bowling for Soup
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

Face Off Friday: Prologues

 

Fighter Face-off

 

 

2015 Update: I have to admit that I am guilty of loving a prologue. Since getting published, I've used them in a number of books. However, generally, I'm using them for reunion stories. Like Melt Into You, I show what happened between the hero and heroine when they were teens then jump forward in time to the present. I think it builds their characters quickly, and I can show the past in "real time" instead of dropping in chunks of past backstory later. My prologues are always real time, action-oriented scenes. They are always about the hero or heroine, not an outside character. And sometimes I won't even label them the prologue, I'll just call it chapter one and put a time stamp on it. My editor has never pushed back. I've learned over the years that if you can figure out how to do something well, most rules can be broken. ;) The important part is to make sure you're not using it as a cheat.  

Today, I'm resurrecting an old debate--the loved/dreaded/maligned prologue.  The rumor is that writers love them and agents/publishers hate them.  Some quotes from our favorite blogging agents:

  

99.9% of the time, the prologue is vague or doesn’t really give me a sense of the writing or the story that’s going to unfold. I skip them as a general rule. --Kristin Nelson, Pub Rants

It is 3-5 pages of introductory material that is written while the author is procrastinating from writing a more difficult section of the book. --Nathan Bransford's definition

  

Previously, I talked about the written and unwritten rules of writing I have discovered along the way.  The one that many of you had pain over was the fact that prologues are frowned upon.  So, I thought I would delve deeper into that topic today.

 

First, let's define a few types of "pre-chapters": 

Prologue is a preface to the story, setting up the story, giving background information and other miscellaneous information. --wiki

preface is an introduction to a book written by the author of the book. A preface generally covers the story of how the book came into being, or how the idea for the book was developed; this is often followed by thanks and acknowledgments to people who were helpful to the author during the time of writing. --wiki

foreword is a (usually short) piece of writing often found at the beginning of a book or other piece of literature, before the introduction, and written by someone other than the author of the book. --wiki

 

Okay, so what most of us are dealing with is the first one, as the preface and foreward are typically used for non-fiction works. (However, Twilight breaks this rule--what's new--and uses the term preface for its prologue.)

 

Prologues are seen in all genres, but are particularly popular in fantasy/sci-fi and thriller/suspense. In fantasy, the prologue often provides information to help the reader understand the strange world that they are about to enter. In suspense, a prologue can contain the killer's point of view or one of his first victims points of view to ratchet up the tension instantly.

 

So those seem valid reasons to use one, right? What's the problem?

 

The problem can lie in the fact that the prologue is almost always a big chunk of backstory. And backstory can be dangerous--it risks boring the reader and makes your pace drag. Prologues can also be a sneaky way to hide a slow-moving first chapter. The latter is how it's used in Twilight. We get a glimpse of the end action--an unnamed victim being stalked by a unknown predator--before we enter into chapter one where nothing much interesting happens for many pages.

 

However, prologues aren't always terrible. Hush, Hush had a prologue. The brief pages showed a scene that explained what happened to one of the characters to make him the way he was. In this novel, I didn't mind the prologue and its purpose was clear. Could the story have been sprinkled in later? Perhaps, but the prologue was a big shining billboard that said--"hey this is about angels!" and the scene had tension and action, not just flowery language about some random legend.

 

So when is it a good idea to include a prologue and when do you need to cut it?


Prologue vs. No Prologue

 

For love of the prologue:

  • Fantasy/Sci-fi/Paranormal can be difficult to jump into without explaining a bit of the mythology/legend/world first.
  • Some of the greats used prologues
  • It can build tension early
  • You have a helluva twist coming later that you need to foreshadow
  • There is history that is vital to your story that must be introduced early

 

Nix the prologue because you are probably using it to cheat and do one of the following: 

  • Set the mood/atmosphere because you failed to do so in the opening chapter
  • Info dump because you can't figure out where to sprinkle in the backstory
  • Create tension because your chapter one is slow and you can't bear to edit it again
  • Not trusting that your reader is smart enough to understand the world you created
  • Your story or fantasy world is overly complicated and you want to get the reader a school lesson on it first

 

Another thought:

 "Writers hope to create suspense and interest by writing a prologue about the person who turns out to be the villain but without identifying that person by name or gender. Sorry, but in my opinion, that's a cheap parlor trick and your reader knows it. You're better off doing the hard work of creating suspense and tension with your hero and heroine."--author Carolyn Jewel 

 

So what's your opinion? How do you feel about prologues in the stories your read? Do you have a prologue in any of your stories? Are you using it for the right reasons or are you worried it's a cheat? Do you think they should be used only as a last resort?

That First Sale - Suzanne'e Journey Toward Publication

 

 

Today, I have another special treat for you.  My crit partner and about-to-be-published author, Suzanne Johnson is sharing the story of "THE CALL" and her journey toward publication.  I always find authors first sale stories inspiring, I hope you all do as well!

The Journey Toward Publication: Suzanne's Story
I’ve been writing about fictional character development at my blog this week, but at Roni’s suggestion I’m talking today about my own journey toward publication. And in a way, it fits the theme, because the publishing process certain helps develop character!
I feel like a poser in some ways because I haven’t spent years as a starving, struggling novelist. I had written a couple of horrific short stories as a teenager, gotten a degree in journalism, and set off on a career as a magazine writer and editor. It’s been a good career. I had no plans to do anything else. People would say, “You should write a book,” and I’d think, “Why?”
But a convergence of events in August 2008 set me to try my hand at fiction. I had an idea for a novel, using my own experiences as a Hurricane Katrina survivor from New Orleans. I set a daily word limit, got hooked on writing along the way, and plowed through it, finishing (heh) in time to enter the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest in February 2009. The book, ROYAL STREET,  made the first couple of cuts and I was feeling pretty sassy by the time it got axed in mid-April as a semifinalist. That also happened to be the first time it got read all the way through, beyond the spit-polished first chapter.
Because, frankly, after the first chapter it sucked, which I realized when I finally picked up some books on fiction writing, took a local class, and accepted that I was clueless. Plot? Pacing? Goals? Motivation? Conflict? Huh?
The idea for the book was sound, though, so I began a series of overhauls. By June 2009, I had it finished (again. Heh.)
While I wrote and polished my query letter (which I’ll be happy to share with anyone who’s interested—just e-mail me), I looked at the acknowledgment pages of books I loved in my genre and joined the QueryTracker website. I made a list of agents, excluding those who didn’t take electronic submissions. Because I am not patient enough for snail-mail, and I wanted quick responses. (Heh.)
I ranked them, and shot off my first ten queries (plus whatever else the agents specified on their websites) in mid-June. Within a week, I’d gotten three form rejections and three requests for full manuscripts. Every time I’d get a rejection, I’d query to a new agent off my list. By mid-July, I had seven full manuscripts out. Meanwhile, since I thought the book had series potential, I began plotting a sequel (but hadn’t started writing).
In late July 2009, “the call” came. Actually, it was an e-mail. It said (and I know, because I saved it): “I've read ROYAL STREET, loved it, and would like to speak with you regarding your writing. If we suit, we can discuss representation. Please let me know a time during business hours that works for you.”
I was at work, and had to jump up and down and scream quietly in my office. I talked to the agent over my lunch hour, and the first question she asked was not “Who do you see as your audience,” or “What are you looking for in an agent or publisher.” She asked: “Tell me what you’re working on now.” I hesitantly told her my idea for the sequel. She wanted to know I was serious about a career, that this was a long-term interest for me. We hit it off, and she offered representation. We exchanged a written agreement spelling out her commission (standard 15 percent for English-language rights plus 20 percent on foreign-language), and the deal was done.
While she began submitting ROYAL STREET to publishers, I started writing the sequel. By this point, I realized the first book had some problems, and I’d learned a whole lot about how to put together a novel. I wrote RIVER ROAD, book two in the series, between August and late October. In the meantime, ROYAL STREET had been passed on by a couple of publishers (not enough romance, said one. Feels too dated since it was set in 2005, said another).
But Tor Books, an imprint of Macmillan, had had the book three months and was in “second reads.” My agent decided to go ahead and send them the second completed book in October.
On November 11 I got this e-mail from my agent: “Suzanne. Are you near a phone?” ARRRGH. And yes, it was an offer from Tor for both books, plus an option for a third. There would be advances! There would be contracts! Some books go straight into mass-market paperback, but mine would come out first in trade paperback, followed by mass-market. The second book would follow the first by six months.
There was more jumping up and down and screaming quietly in my office.
I guess it’s bad form to talk money, but I can tell you author Jim Hines did a recent survey on first-book sales of science fiction and fantasy books to one of the Big Six publishers and found the average advance is in the $10,000-$15,000 range per book. Authors receive a third of the advance on signing the contract, another third on acceptance of the manuscript (after all revisions are completed to the editor’s satisfaction), and the final third when the book hits the shelves.
All of you probably know this, but I didn’t. The author starts earning royalties only after the book “sells through” and earns the publisher back the advance money. Most authors who aren’t named Stephen King or JK Rowling or Stephanie Meyer or Nora Roberts or Charlaine Harris don’t make much beyond their advance.
It took two months for the contracts to arrive, and three months for the first revision letter to arrive. This is NOT a process for the impatient. And did I mention I am not a patient person? The revisions, as I expected (since I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote the book), were pretty extensive. They were followed by two more rounds of revisions over the course of the next months. I just completed revisions on the first book and am getting ready to begin them on the second. I’m told they will be much less extensive. Meanwhile, I’m working on the proposal for the third in the series, plus an unrelated novel that’s about 90 percent done.
And that’s where I am. Next come galleys on the first book, at which point a release date will be set (all I know right now is…sometime in the next year). I don’t have any real decision-making power on the cover, but the folks at Tor have asked if there was anything in particular I would absolutely hate. I still don’t know what the process for marketing will be, or how it will feel to hold an ARC of my actual book in my hand. But stay tuned…it is a process! And did I mention I am not a patient person?

So, did anything about Suzanne's journey so far surprise you?  Do you have any questions for her?  Ask away!  And thanks again to Suzanne for sharing with us. :)
In her “daylighting” job, Suzanne works in university magazine publishing and currently is at Auburn University after stints at Tulane University, Rice University, and the University of Illinois. Visit her daily writing blog at http://suzanne-johnson.blogspot.com, or her website at http://suzanne-johnson.com. If you’d like a copy of her query letter, you can reach her at author.suzanne.johnson@gmail.com.
 **Today's Theme Song (Guest's Choice)**
"Acadian Two-Step" - Beausoleil
(player in sidebar, take a listen to a little Cajun music--good for the soul)

 

She's a B*tch, She's a Lover: Writing a Kickass Heroine

 

 
IMG_6283
Photo by Karen Ho

This week I have a special treat for you guys.  Guest bloggers!!!  

For those who missed Monday's post, my mom is spending this week with me, so my amazing crit group members have graciously offered to cover some topics that are near and dear to them while I'm "out".  All of these ladies are wonderful writers and offer unique perspectives on writing, so I hope you will give them as warm a welcome as you give me every day.  I also encourage you to follow their blogs--you won't regret it.  :)

So without further ado, I'll turn it over to Gwen...

 

She's a B*tch, She's a Lover
In a recent discussion on one of my loops, a group of paranormal authors began a discussion on what separates paranormal romance from urban fantasy.  As you can guess, what constitutes a sub-genre varies immensely depending on who you ask.  However, one thing that came up repeatedly was that urban fantasies usually feature a “kick-ass” heroine.  Granted, there are plenty of urban fantasies on the shelves nowadays where the main character is not female at all, but on the whole, I agree with this correlation.  Urban fantasy = kick-ass heroine. 
A similar, if not as severe trend emerged across all genres of romance around the turn of the century (wow, it sounds weird to say that!).  Most especially in thrillers, romantic suspense, and the emerging paranormal market, the helpless waif was out and the self-confident, self-reliant woman was in.  Many would call it a reflection of our times, where women have finally attained a position as equals in both the boardroom and the bedroom.  It’s empowering for us to see the G.I. Janes, Dana Skullys, and Sarah Conners go toe-to-toe with their male counterparts and in some cases save the day all on their own. 
A kick-ass heroine can come in many forms and her strength does not always manifest in the physical realm.  She can be on a crusade for her cause, fiercely protective of those she loves, enduring some immense emotional burden, surviving a cold harsh world that has turned its back on her, or simply aware of her own feminine power.  I, for one, fully support a world where the simpering Bella Swans are a minority.  But if you’re considering writing a strong female protagonist, keep a lookout for these common pitfalls.
Leave Room to Grow
One of the worst things you can do is paint your heroine as a Mary Sue.  No one wants to read about an all-powerful character who fights her way out of every sticky spot with hardly a scratch, and whom everyone else worships.  Give your heroine flaws.  Give her weaknesses.  Stack the odds against her and make sure she’s fighting an uphill battle, that way it will be that much more satisfying when she finally reaches her goal.  Don’t be afraid to knock her down a few times and teach her some lessons too – she’ll be that much more beloved by readers for overcoming those shortcomings.
Give Her A True Counterpart
Don’t surround your strong heroine with a bunch of swooning suitors jumping at the opportunity to do her bidding.  Keep it real.  In the real world, a tough woman is not all that adored by men, especially those she’s surpassed is skill or accomplishment.  It takes a strong man to stand beside a strong woman, so make sure your love interest is up to the task.  Another thing to look out for is painting a hero who loves your heroine in spite of her strength rather than for her strength – a very important distinction.
Don’t Cross the Line
There’s a difference between confidence and cockiness.  It can be as much of a turn-off for a woman to be full of herself as it can be for a man.  Snark comes with the territory when you’re writing a woman in a man’s world, but be careful you don’t cross that razor-thin line between sarcasm and sadism.  Don’t make your heroine too much of a b*tch, or even your readers won’t like her. 
Remember She’s a Woman
No matter if we’re talking about female charity workers, doctors, or fighter pilots, at the end of the day, they’re all women.  Remember to give your readers something to connect with.  Don’t write your strong alpha female like a man.  Make her girly.  Give her a chocolate fetish, or a stuffed animal, or a compulsion to buy shoes (okay, not something that cliché, but you get the picture).  It’s okay for her to have a soft, mushy, girly side, and it’s definitely necessary that you show it.  

Do you find it challenging to write the balance between tough chick and b*tch?  Who's your favorite kickass heroine?  Have you ever stopped reading a book because the heroine was too brash/mean/unlikeable or on the flipside, too weak/do-nothing?

 

When not studying science and philosophy at the UW or otherwise cavorting through the Emerald City, Gwen can be found at her favorite Starbucks drawing off of the shifting grey skies of the Pacific Northwest to pen (okay, type) dark paranormal stories, which don't always end happily but leave her characters satisfied none the less. Visit her at Gwen Mitchell Fiction.

**Today's Theme Song**
"Just a Girl" - No Doubt
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Beta Club: One Fine Day (YA) - Agree with my Crit?

 
 

 

It's Beta Club Tuesday!  Young Adult is on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)


 For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.
 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below.

 

Author: Margeret (check out her blog here!)
Title: One Fine Day
Genre: Young Adult


 Excerpt:

Jamie pressed the button that kicked off the countdown on her digital watch.  One hundred eighty seconds until she knew her fate.  Three minutes until her life may—or may not—change forever.  Rob had looked away when she mentioned the test, and her heart thudded the same double-beat, as if he were sitting across from her right now and rejecting her all over again.
                She wanted him to wrap her in his arms, hold her tight and tell her that everything was going to be OK.  That they would be OK—that they would make it.  Together, Jamie believed, they could make it.  But when she had dropped the bomb, he broke her gaze.   They had crossed a threshold—their relationship was forever changed.
Rob exhaled loudly through clenched teeth, and then casually, oh so casually, threw it out there.
“It’s OK, James.  We’ll go to Manch Vegas and get this all worked out.” 
Shuddering, Jamie flung away the memory.  The test stick on the counter quietly waited. One stupid pink line could be the end to her simple existence, and the beginning of a new world order.   Or, she reminded herself, it could be the harshest wake-up call with no actual consequence, known to high school kind.   Please, let it be negative, she thought,  I’ll do my homework as soon as I walk through the door, even on Fridays.  I’ll help mom with Lola in the mornings.  I won’t skip class to sneak out to the Dunkin Donuts for coffee with Rob.   PLEASE be NEGATIVE!
As if all the deal-making in the world was going to impact the appearance, or lack thereof, of one simple line.  It’s already been decided, she thought.  I can sit here waiting for these three minutes to pass on by, but the facts will not change.  I’m either pregnant or I’m not.  It’s already done.   
Fact:  She had sex with Robbie.  Several times.
Fact:  She loved him.  Completely.
Fact:  She would do anything within her power to make sure she and Rob would last. 
Fact:  They’d have the most beautiful children. Ever. 
No matter how many ways she tried to convince herself that everything would be OK, there was no changing the reality that being pregnant was the worst thing that could happen.  At school, the pregnant girls were shunned worse than the geeks. No question there was no lower rung on the high school ladder than the Preggos.
Located below the Hos, who got props from a few of the guys, particularly the jocks, Preggos walked around in their snug-fitting shirts practically shouting out—“Busted!”   The proof’s in the bump.  And that bump was the difference between simply flying under the radar and being a total, slutty loser.
I’ll never make another snarky comment when I see Evelyn Shotte in the hallway.  Even…
Time check—45 seconds  to go
even though she’s a total geek and always knows the answer that Callahan is looking for in U.S. History.  Jamie’s heart was pounding.   She avoided looking at the stick, her whole focus centered on the numbers displayed on the tiny gray screen she held clutched in both hands.  She was perched on the edge of the bathtub, waiting.  Again, she replayed the scene when she told Rob about the test, wincing once more at his reaction while a single tear crept down her flushed cheek.
19…18…17…You can handle this  James…16…15…you can’t be pregnant…14…13…even if you are, which you’re not, you can handle this…With each passing second the drum beat in Jamie’s chest grew louder, stronger.  This was worse than waiting for the starting gun in the 50 meter. 
5…4…3…The numbers refused to stop…2…1…she squeezed her eyes shut and filled her lungs with one final breath of ignorant bliss…
Beep…beep… beep…

 
 
Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

 


 
 


Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!



Make sure and stop by tomorrow when guest blogger Gwen Mitchell will talk about writing kickass heroines!

 

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Need You Now" - Lady Antebelum
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

When Your Characters Don't Share Your Moral Values

 

Freeway Choices
Photo by Saks08
 

This week I have a special treat for you guys.  Guest bloggers!!!  

My mom is spending this week with me, so my amazing crit group members have graciously offered to cover some topics that are near and dear to them while I'm "out".  All of these ladies are wonderful writers and offer unique perspectives on writing, so I hope you will give them as warm a welcome as you give me every day.  I also encourage you to follow their blogs--you won't regret it.  :)

So without further ado, I'll turn it over to Katrina...
When Your Characters Don't Share Your Moral Values
In my first draft of my first manuscript, my heroine was just like me: a chubby vegetarian American who’s a virgin when she meets her British future husband. *Ahem* Excuse me for getting so personal when we’ve just met, but it’s true and I’m not ashamed of any of it – except for the part about making my heroine retread the path I’d taken in real life.
It’s a common folly for new writers, and it makes it difficult to improve that particular story. For me, I hated sharing it with people – especially my husband and closest writer friends – because they could see that she was me, and I didn’t want to let them in on the other personal thoughts I’d spewed into my heroine’s head.
For another thing, my heroine became a caricature, not a character.
So imagine my delight when another character jumped into my head. She lost her virginity (out of choice) when she was 14. She smokes, and she drinks enough not to remember crawling into bed with someone. All tricky traits for a romance heroine, so she has to clean up her act quite a bit before she can have her happily-ever-after.
There’s something freeing about creating a character who’s different to you. But what about when the choices your character makes are based on them having a different moral code to yours?
I went to a Christian high school where everyone was expected to have the same standards of behavior, and those standards were based on a shared religious belief. And while my thoughts and deeds have strayed from that standard, I’ve cherry-picked my favorite aspects and incorporated them into my own moral code: be a good steward of the Earth; treat others with dignity; treat your own body with respect.
According to my latest heroine, that’s all a load of bull. While I’m enjoying giving her free reign, I’m struggling against my own control-freakery. The last thing I want is for her to be a completely different person at the end of the novel. Some of her behavior is downright dangerous, and she actually wants to change it. But she has to do it in a way that stays true to who she is; otherwise, she just wouldn’t be human.


Anyone else struggle with this? Do your characters usually share your deepest values and beliefs, or do they have an entirely different way of acting? Do you struggle with making them come around to your way of thinking? Or do you use their differences to push forward your own beliefs?
Katrina writes contemporary romance. An American living in London, she sets her stories in both countries and loves to see what happens when cultures collide.

She ponders all things romance-related on her blog, Reader, I created him.  Go forth and follow!


**Side note: tomorrow will still be Beta Club day, guest bloggers will be back on Wednesday.  :)

 

**Today's Theme Song - Guest Blogger Choice**
"Way Down in the Hole" - Tom Waits
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

Enough with the Eyebrows: Showing Emotion

 

63-eyes-up
Photo by Buster Benson


We hear it over and over again--show don't tell.  Don't tell us your character is angry, show it through their words, their visceral reactions, their body language.  Easy peasy, right?  Um, yeah.

 

What this ends up looking like for me is a lot of eyebrows in my first draft--they raise, waggle, arch, knit, furrow, and on and on.  I'm also a fan of crossing arms, shoving hands in pockets, throats clearing, swallowing hard, cheeks reddening, and narrowing/widening/rolling eyes.  And don't even get me started on smiling and laughing.

I know I need to change it up, and I try to do the showing more with dialogue and such, but many times you need to use expression and visceral stuff.  This has become a major focus for me because I write romance and attraction is such a whole body/mind experience.  And I don't want to resort to using the cliches--knees weakening, desire racing through veins, etc.

So what I've started to do is as I read other's work, I keep a notebook nearby to jot down those reactions that don't automatically come to my head--bobbing Adam's apples, pupils dilating, whatever.  This has been very helpful.

BUT THEN, I went on the RWA site to start downloading my worksheets for the National Conference and found THIS.  Author Marilyn Kelly is offering an 11 Senses workshop at the conference, and although I know most of you won't be attending, the worksheets alone are gold, GOLD, people. (UPDATE: 8/2013 - These worksheets are no longer available. The only place I could find a version is here.)

There are exhaustive lists of words and synonyms that relate to all  of the (eleven) senses, but most helpful to me is the list of body language cues for each of the big emotions.  I'm talking like thirty different ways to show anger or sadness or confusion, etc..  It's fabulous.  And free. 

And as additional resource, Angela over at The Bookshelf Muse does something similar doing thesaurus-style posts for emotions, settings, colors, etc.  All the former posts she's done on each emotion are listed in her sidebar on the site for easy reference.  Make sure and check her out as well because she's having a terrific contest right now offering critique-related prizes. (UPDATE 8/2013: Angela has compiled all the information from her site into a book, you get The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression  in paperback or ebook.)

Alright, so am I the only one who gets stuck using the same body language cues over and over?  What emotions or what type of scenes do you find the most difficult to convey?  What are some of the ones that keep popping up in your manuscript?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

Put 'Em on the Couch: Character Therapy

 

Zombie Therapy Here
Photo by Sean Davis
Characters are the hearts of our stories. We don't fall in love with plot (usually), we fall in love with the people. So when creating the characters for our stories, we need to pay careful attention to create three-dimensional believable ones. Our characters should have full, rich backstories of why they act the way they do. (Even if this backstory does not make it into the actual book, we need to know it.) If we treat them like real people in our head, then hopefully they will translate as authentic people on the page.
When I start crafting my characters, I often begin with a simple sketch. This usually involves a big circle with the characters name in it, then branching arms as I list their qualities. Very high tech, I know. However, once this is done, I'm only left with a two-dimensional person. Okay, the guy is pig-headed, impatient, paranoid, etc. But why? This is where the work comes in. What made him that way? None of us exist in a vacuum, we are the way we are because of our experiences. So how do you dig deeper and find out?
One day when I was struggling with this, I started rifling through my psyc books from college. Then, I stumbled upon a paperback I bought when I first started interning as a counselor at the college counseling center. I was in panic at the time because I didn't feel prepared to offer people therapy yet, so I started looking for books that would help explain things in layman's terms. A cheat sheet, if you will.
I still feel sorry for those who were subjected to my inexperience during that year. The students knew they were seeing a grad student, but still, I was terrible. My first marriage counseling session with two grad students ended with the guy throwing his wedding ring at his wife (after she admitted to cheating with their roommate) and storming out with a threat of suicide. (I stopped him from leaving with the help of my supervisor, he was alright--although, I wasn't.)
Think Like a Shrink: 100 Principles for Seeing Deeply into Yourself and Others
Anyway, I bought the book Think Like a Shrink
to help. (Insert snort at the name--I know.) However, this has now turned out to be an invaluable resource for character backstory building. The chapters are barely a page long and cover the reasons why people act like they do. Some of the chapter titles:
 
Those who don't remember their childhood may want to forget it

The ills of the mothers, or fathers, really are visited upon the children

Boundaries define people the way borders define countries

The way people feel about sex is critical to their psychology

Women do not suffer from penis envy nearly as much as men do

Needy people immediately create chaos in relationships

Don Juan had an absent father

An extramarital affair is less important than what led to it

Beware unsolicited denials

We can tell alot about people by the way they say goodbye

What is one the outside is often the exact opposite of what is one the inside

Vain people marry accessories

Those who can't get comfortable in their own skin may claw at others

People regress to earlier behaviors under stress

Doing nothing can be very pushy
I don't agree with everything this guy says. He can be a little Freudian at times, but a lot of it rings true. And anytime I pick it up it gives me great ideas for characters. I highly recommend it.
So what do you do to make your characters three-dimensional? Do you interview them? If so, how do you decide on the answers?

*This is a repost from August 2009.*
**Today's Theme Song**
"Underneath It All" - No Doubt
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

I'm Not a Murderer, I Swear

 

You ever watch Dateline or 20/20 when they're doing stories on real-life murder mysteries?  Many times when they're investigating the prime suspect, some of the most compelling evidence turns out to be the person's search history on their computer.  Wife dies from what looks like an apparent overdose, but then, lo and behold, dear husband has been researching that drug on the internet.

Well, as I was researching things for the climactic scenes of the suspense portion of my WIP this week, I realized my google history would be quite damning if anyone were ever to look.  I tweeted about this, but here is a sampling of topics in my google search this week:
Handguns
Effects of heroin on the system
Tranquilizer guns
Leather restraints
How big the trunks of certain cars are
Um, yeah.  So I look like a serial killer-to be, lol.  I wonder what authors who are writing about terrorist plots do when researching--they could land themselves on a no-fly list right quick.  
So anyway, I thought it would be fun to ask you guys...what's on your google history?  What would people think you were up to if they saw what you'd been researching?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Wanted: Dead or Alive" - Bon Jovi
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Beta Club: Parachute Jump (Women's Fic) - Agree with my Crit?

 

 
It's Beta Club Tuesday!  Women's Fiction is on the agenda today.  Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Michelle S. (check out her blog!)
Title: Parachute Jump
Genre: Women's Fiction


Excerpt:
 
 
 
I should have known that when the grandmother I had never met showed up, banging on the door like she was the police in pursuit of a criminal, that things would never be the same. I actually knew before she showed up. He had been gone for close to ten days and our mother hadn’t gotten out of the bed at all that entire week and a half.
We didn’t know where she had come from or how she had known to come. Curtis guessed that mom had probably called her as a last resort. We all knew that she hated her mother and where she had come from back in North Carolina.
“She’s a wreck,” Curtis had said after he had come from her room, his hands empty of the bowl of chicken noodle soup he had entered with.
Claude was quiet, his analytical demeanor sizing up the situation. Dad was gone and mom was quickly deteriorating into a useless heap. He glanced at the small pile of mail that sat on the coffee table. Bills would be due. So would the rent. It wasn’t looking good. He wouldn’t tell us for years that he had been the one to call Grandma.
I had never seen a picture of her. She was a myth. Resembling the fairy godmother from Cinderella, in my mind. She would float in, not on wings, but something like wings, smelling of cinnamon and peppermint and sprinkle us with her sweet hugs and kisses. So when Claude finally opened the door to her, I was taken aback. She was tall, which none of us were expecting since our mother stood at a measly five feet and four inches. At twelve, I already towered over her.
Besides her height, I couldn’t help but to notice how pale she was. She looked like the sun was her enemy. I could see the blue lines of her veins through the skin in her arms, which were clutching a brown bag close to her chest. Atop her head was a mass of curly brunette hair with sprinklings of gray, the front that she had pinned back with gold bobby pins.
“Curtis?” she asked apprehensively looking back and forth between Curtis and Claude.
“Claude,” he corrected her and stepped back from the door to allow her inside.
“Right. Claude,” she said as if she were committing his features to memory.
She would need to in order to tell the difference between him and Curtis. They were twins; fraternal, but still similar enough in looks that sometimes it took a second glance to confirm whom was who.
“And Imogene?” she said, turning her attention to me as she stepped through the threshold and into our living room.
I nodded. Not sure what was appropriate. A “nice to meet you” or a hug. I didn’t offer either and neither did she.
She glanced around the living room, taking in the pale yellow on the walls, the English ivy plants that hung from the corners looking thirsty, and the brown leather couches that had been discolored and sunken in over the years. In our mother’s absence, only Claude straightened up regularly, placing our dirty dishes into the dishwasher and picking up our discarded snack containers. The floors had gone with out vacuuming and dust had settled onto the surfaces.
“Where is your mother?” she asked, finally looking back to the three of us huddled together near the door, unsure of what we should be doing.
“She’s in her bedroom. Last door on the right,” Claude volunteered.
She nodded and gazed down the hallway to the left taking a few steps. She stopped momentarily and looked back at Claude as if to confirm that she was going in the right direction.
Claude nodded. “Last door on the right,” he repeated.
Curtis waited until Grandma knocked and entered our mother’s bedroom before he headed down the hallway.
“Where you going?” Claude whispered loudly from behind him.
“To listen,” he said, not bothering to whisper.





Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.

Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!

**Also, quick PSA...For anyone looking for a critique group, the ladies over at Critique this WIP are holding a contest to find new members.  Stop by and see if you may fit the bill! ** 

**Today's Theme Song**
"Uninvited" -  Alanis Morrissette
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

Commenting on Comments - What's Your Opinion?

 


Hope everyone had a good weekend.  Today I have a quick question:  What do you expect from your blog friends with regards to commenting?

 

Sierra posted today about the Canon of a Good Blog Host today (apparently she's my new blogging muse because I keep getting ideas from her).  She purported that a good blog host responds to comments in the comments section (not via email).   And I hear where she's coming from--I even have my own canon on How to be a Good Blogger that I did last year.

Last week, after reading Simon's post about switching his tactics, I tried the suggested method of responding via email because I was finding it difficult to respond to each and every comment in the comments section.  Scrolling back and forth and listing everyone's name, etc. was taking forever.  (Here is where I send out my general plea to Blogger to implement threaded comments like Wordpress has.)  I'm not sure if I love the email method or not, especially since some people don't have their email address linked to their blogger and therefore, I can't reply, so they get left out.

So I'm putting out the question to you guys.  What do you prefer/expect a blogger to do?

1.  The blogger responds to every comment in the comments section.  (This means you come back or subscribe to comments so that you can see if someone replied to you.)
2.  The blogger responds to an occasional comment within the comments section so that you know he/she is part of the conversation but not each and every one.
3.  The blogger emails a response to your comment.
4.  The blogger doesn't need to respond because once you comment, you don't check back.

I'm really curious because I love comments and hearing what everyone has to say, and I definitely don't want anyone to feel ignored.  However, I also have to find some way to balance the time I spend on blog stuff with the time I spend on actual writing and on general life stuff.

 

So what's your opinion?  And what do you try to do on your own blog?

**Today's Theme Song**
"Whataya Want From Me" - Adam Lambert
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

Face Off Friday: Posting Excerpts of Your Work

 

 

This morning I wasn't sure what I was going to blog about (what's new), but then I read Julie Dao's post on imitation over at Silver Lining (thanks to Sierra's Google Reader Roundup for highlighting it, since I had missed that post this week) and got inspired.


The post was basically warning to be careful what you post about your WIPs because once the info is out on the internet, anyone can steal it or your ideas.  Now, in response to this post, Sierra said she doesn't plan on participating in blogfests and such anymore for  this reason.

I have mixed feelings on this issue.  I'm pretty paranoid by nature and tend to not share the overall concept for my WIPs when I'm working on them, but I do participate in blogfests on occasion and post excerpts.  (Although, once I start shopping a book or entering contests, I pull those snippets off.  And yes, I know about cache copy.)  I also have my blurbs for my completed novels posted on my website and on the "my writing" page on this site.  Am I worried someone will steal those?

*shrug* Not really.  I've cursed them with a strong voodoo spell that will inflict years of intestinal nastiness if stolen.  But also, only I can write the books I write.  My voice, my words, my story.  Just like I couldn't go grab an excerpt of one of your stories and recreate your novel.  It would come out as a totally different story.  

However, what I would worry about is posting your one or two sentence hook or logline--especially if you have something high-concept.  In this competitive market, if you have some brilliant hook/logline, I would keep that to yourself because maybe there is only room on the shelves for one story about alien ants who invade our picnics to spy on human communication (well, I doubt there's room for even ONE of those books, but you know what I mean.)  

I definitely have gone to blogs and seen those little one sentence hooks and thought "ooh, that's goooood."  Now, of course, I'm not a thief, so my thought is "I want to read that", not "I'm going to steal that."  But there are many out there who would hijack it.  (Although, I'm hoping that karma gets all those filthy liars by making sure they're terrible writers and would never get a shot anyway.)

So I guess I fall somewhere in the middle on the debate.  I say be careful, but also don't deny yourself the fun of blogfests, contests, and opportunities to get reader feedback.

But I'm curious to hear your opinions.  Do you worry about theives?  Where do you draw the line on what you post or don't post?

**Today's Theme Song**
"I Think I'm Paranoid" - Garbage
(player in sidebar, take a listen)

 

The Beta Club: The Golden Gryphon (Fantasy) - Agree with my Crit?

 

 
Okay, so Tuesday I had a blonde moment (actually a sleep-deprived one) and forgot about beta club.  So today I'm making up for my oversight and having Beta Club Thursday instead!  Fantasy is on the agenda today.  This is not my genre, so I'm counting on you fantasy readers to help me out and give your opinions.   Read on and let the author know what you think!  Remember, this will be the only Beta Club of the week, so give it all you got.  ;)

For newbies:  If you haven't been here on beta club day yet, don't be afraid to jump in with your comments.  All feedback is welcome as long as it's constructive.  And if anyone has an itch to be critiqued, the rules for submitting to the Beta Club are under the "Free Critiques" heading at the top of the page.

 

Alright, please read through the author's excerpt, then provide your feedback in the comments.  My detailed critique is below. 

Author: Christine Hardy (go visit her on her blog and say hi!)
Title: The Golden Gryphon
Genre: Fantasy

Excerpt:

 
 
 
Moonlight cast blue shadows on the snow, turning the great drifts that stretched across the meadow into waves in a silent sea.  Faldur perched like an incongruous bird in the boughs of a large fir, one arm wrapped around the trunk for support.  He had chosen this position in order to observe the guests arriving at Crikhaven for the Midwinter feast.  With the keen eyesight of his people, he could see each tiny figure distinctly as it dismounted in the courtyard, or alighted from its carriage.  Tonight was a rare opportunity for the Restorationists to meet openly.  What better excuse could they have than Midwinter’s Eve?  And if the menfolk gathered in the wee hours to talk a little treason, who would know but themselves?


“Do you think Chalmeth posted so many sentries to keep undesirables out, or to keep his guests from leaving?” joked Harth, his First Ranger, who guarded the foot of the tree. Shrouded by his light gray cloak, Harth was nearly invisible from above.  There was no danger of being overheard. The branches muffled their voices and a wide sweep of meadow still remained between them and the wall.
“To keep us at a distance,” Faldur replied.  “I wish I could be a cat in the corner tonight.” 
 He surveyed the building critically.  It was made of grey stone from the surrounding mountains, protected by a thick, battlemented wall which was starting to crumble in places, along the top of which the sentries could be clearly seen moving back and forth.  A carved gryphon over the main entrance had lost half a wing, and the elaborately painted stucco on the sides of the buildings was faded and flaking off.  But there was no getting in tonight.
            “There’s a cat for you,” said Harth, interrupting his thoughts. A black mountain lion was loping towards them across the meadow. Faldur stiffened.  It was a young female.  There was no wind, so with luck she wouldn’t scent them.  Harth pushed back his hood and reached for his bow, then drew an arrow from the quiver on his back and strung it in one quick movement.  He sighted along the shaft, pushing aside the branches of the fir tree just slightly so as to have a clear shot.  About fifty yards from them, the lion turned aside, heading for the castle. 
            A beam of light drew Faldur’s gaze from the lion to the courtyard.  A side door had been opened and a tall figure stood framed in the doorway.  He couldn’t see the person’s face, for the light was behind him, but he was exceptionally tall for an Hanorja, stooping to looked out through the opening.  He (or possibly she) had to be about six feet tall.  That meant that he was an elevja, a member of the royal family.  But whom?  Faldur knew of no one with royal blood collaborating with the Restorationists.  He narrowed his eyes, thinking hard, willing the figure to step out of the shadows so he could get a better look.
The lion padded lightly through the snow along the outside of the wall, although it appeared to be buried up to its stomach. A path must have been cleared there.  Then it nosed its way into some bushes, exactly where Faldur knew a small door was concealed, and disappeared inside the wall. There was no cry from the sentries, no sign at all that it had been noticed.  Was it waiting in the shadows to spring on them? 
            “Gryphon feathers!” muttered Harth.
            “Why was that door left open?”
            The lion reappeared moments later, trotting towards the opened doorway.  It sidled inside and the mysterious person closed the door behind it, cutting off the light.  Faldur scanned all of the lit windows on that side of the building, watching for the person to appear, but there was no one.  He swore softly.
“What is it?” Harth asked.  Faldur told him, leaving out the fact that the guest was an elevja.  He wanted to consult the Prince first.  Melbinor would know if any of his relatives had developed a fondness for lions.
 “Do you suppose it’s tame? Chalmeth isn’t breeding nightstalkers, is he?” There was a note of horror in Harth’s voice. 
“No,” said Faldur.  “Chalmeth is cunning, but he is too much of a coward for that.”
They fell silent again, waiting for more arrivals, but no one else came.  Faint strains of music reached them; the dancing had begun.  Faldur climbed down from his perch, being careful not to disturb the branches too much and send down a shower of snow that would alert the sentries to their position.  He stood next to Harth, rubbing his hands together to warm them and massaging his backside. He was small of stature, even for an hanor, and had to look up slightly at Harth. “Next time, you may have tree duty.”
Harth chuckled.  “Oh no, Captain, your sight is much more excellent than mine.  I am only fit to stand guard beneath your tree.” 
Faldur shot him a dry look, then adjusted his gloves.  Harth privately ribbed Faldur about his recent promotion at every opportunity.  Every leader needs a foil to keep him humble, thought Faldur philosophically.
 

Below is my detailed critique.  Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.


Alright, so what do you think?  Are you hooked?  What did the author do well?  What things could  be improved?  Agree or disagree with my crit?

Thanks ahead of time to all of you who comment and thanks to the author for volunteering!
 
**Today's Theme Song**
"Pax Deorum" -  Enya
(player in sidebar, take a listen)


 

WIP Wednesday: I Hate Endings

 


So I've hit 60k on the WIP--woot!  BUT that also means I'm staring down the climax and ending, the final act--which just sends me burying my head in the sand.

 

Can I make a confession?  Writing endings is the bane of my existence.  I always struggle with getting my head around those final few chapters.

I know where I want things to end up--in romance, that's pretty obvious--happily ever after.  I know who my bad guy/gal is in my suspense subplot.  Know what needs to be revealed.  But how I get all that out and make it climactic and satisfying (and not melodramatic or predictable or contrived or clichéd) is proving to be challenging,

So here I sit, with the end in sight but out of reach.  Totally stuck.  Bleh.  I need this thing done.  I live in a state of unrest during the rough draft phase.  I'm ready for the next step, which I find much more comfortable--revising and rewriting.

Now back to staring into space, trying to put all the necessary puzzle pieces together to craft my final few chapters.

So how about you?  Where are you at with your WIP?  Which part of the novel do your struggle with writing the most (beginning, middle, end)?  Do you enjoy drafting or revising more?

 

**Today's Theme Song**
"It Ends Tonight" - All-American Rejects
(player in sidebar, take a listen)