Digital Detox: 3 Things I'm Doing to Tame the Social Media Habit & Reclaim Focus

If you haven't noticed from my past few blog posts, I'm feeling very motivated to tackle 2016 in a more thoughtful, focused way than I have in past years. In other words, flighty writer me is trying to get her s**t together. It's easy, particularly when you're in a creative career, to just kind of ride the tide of life and see where things take you. As long as the words get on the page, everything else will work itself out. We're supposed to be opening our minds, seeking inspiration, chasing new ideas, right? That doesn't fit into business planning and structure and goal-setting. Wrong. 

Writing (or any creative career) is a business like anything else. Plans are good. Structure in your day is enormously helpful. Good habits are key. All of that sets us up to have time and mental space to actually CREATE those things we're supposed to be creating. 

So that is what I've been focused so far on 2016. I got myself set up with a gorgeous, functional paper planner. And I filled out my business goals in this workbook. And now I wanted to tackle another issue that has claimed me like a bad relationship. The internet/social media monster.

I know I'm not alone in this. It's part of society now. We're always connected. Our smartphones sit on the table with us at dinner, they live attached to our hands. We check FB more times than any of us want to admit. If we have to wait in a line even for a minute, we can't resist the urge to look at our phones. And if we're working, that itch to click and "just check" on twitter or instagram or pinterest, calls to us all day long. 

I've been aware of it for a long time, but I've justified that it's a big part of my job to be online, to participate in social media, to respond to emails, to be available. And that's true. It is part of my job. And it's a part of my job I like very much--chatting with readers, connecting with other writers, reading blog posts about books and the industry. Plus, I work at home. Social media is my watercooler. I'd feel isolated otherwise.

However, by the end of 2015, I looked up and realized that the internet monster had morphed from being a part of my day to a creeping beast that was infiltrating and stealing other chunks of my time. Why hadn't I watched many TV shows this year? Because I end up scrolling through stuff on my phone instead of focusing on television shows that require more than 10% of my attention to follow along. Why had my nightly reading habit slacked off? Yep. Because I'd get caught up in Pinterest or my blog roll instead of picking up that book. That was a biggie. Reading is my FAVORITE thing. And I was letting something steal my attention from that.

In addition to that, I realized it was my crutch while I was writing. As soon as I hit a tough part of the manuscript--a sentence that wasn't working, a plot snag, an issue I hadn't considered--I'd click over to twitter and get caught up in chatting. Twenty minutes later, I'm back to writing and have wasted that time and broken my concentration. I'm not ADD, but I was starting to feel that way. The checking had become unconscious. Motor memory to click through icons. And if you're a writer or creative person, you know that the key to writing or creating is finding FLOW--that uninterrupted time where you're totally focused on what you're doing and totally IN it. That's when the best work gets done. And I was constantly thwarting any chance at flow.

So now that we know the extent of my addiction, lol, here's what I'm doing differently in 2016. Hopefully, these are tips you can incorporate if you're having the same issue.

3 Steps to Reclaiming My Time and focus

1. Schedule internet and social media time during the part of the day that is not my optimal creative/deep work time. And by schedule, I mean, WRITE IT DOWN as an appointment.

I don't want to give up the internet and social media and go live in an off-the-grid cabin or anything. (Okay, maybe some days I'd like that.) But I need to corral the time that I spend doing the online thing. After enough years of doing this job, I've learned that I hit my writing stride in the afternoon. We all have peak creative times, and mine seems to be in that after lunch slot until early evening. So I'm scheduling blogging, social media, and email during the morning time. (This pic is my Day Designer btw. Isn't it purty?)

2. Schedule dedicated writing time and use the Focus app to shut off all the social media and distracting websites during that time.

I've been using the Focus app. I've also heard Freedom is good. But so far, this is working really well. I have noon to 3 blocked off on my planner for writing time. Then I set the Focus app to block for a set amount of time--usually an hour. If you try to click on anything during that time, it will come up with an inspirational quote. And what's funny (sad?) is that I've found myself clicking twitter or whatever out of pure reflex. That muscle memory. That movement is built into me now when I pause in writing. So the app has been very helpful in basically reminding me--hey, dummy, you've blocked this, get back to work! And I've found that the 1 hour time goes by fast once I start working because I'm actually focusing and getting into flow. Then when one hour is up, I give myself a little break to get a snack or check email/twitter or whatever, but only for five minutes. Then I hit the app for another hour. I'm kind of in love. It's like a relief if that makes sense. (Like when you go on a cruise or out of the country and your phone can't work, lol.)

3. In the evenings, I'm putting my phone out of reach (and have turned off notifications.)

I can still hear it ring if someone needs me. But with the phone out of reach, I stop the mindless grabbing for it while I'm hanging out with the fam or watching TV or reading a book. It's amazing how just having it across the room can break the loop. And I've turned off all notifications for social media. That's an all day thing. I need to know when someone calls, when I have a text, and if there's a VIP email (agent, editor, family). Other than that, it's not urgent and I don't need to be notified.

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I may add more layers to this as I go. I know as soon as I get into the meat of writing this next book, I'm going to be using Scrivener's Compose mode to make the distractions even more minimal. I use Scrivener exclusively but have never used this mode. Doesn't this look soothing? You can load your own background picture. 

Page one of OFF THE CLOCK

Right now, this system has been working for me. I'm deep in the brainstorming/story development process for Pleasure Principle book 2, so my writing time has involved a lot of random notes, lists, and staring at the wall and pondering. But it's work. Good work. And it feels great to get lost in it again and not constantly be dragged out by a cat GIF or the latest twitter ragefest or the vortex of Facebook. I know all that will still be there when my day's work is done. :)

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Are you struggling with any of these things? Any tips about things that have worked for you?

What I'm Loving: Finding the Perfect Planner

So you may remember that about six months ago I posted about getting a paper planner. I've discovered over the years that electronic apps for to-do lists and scheduling don't work for me. I'm a visual person, and once it's typed into the phone, it's too out of sight, out of mind. Paper is my jam. When I write things down, I remember them better. And I can leave a paper planner open in front of me on my desk all day.

So six months ago, I got the Happy Planner. Now, this was a beautiful planner. Very colorful and creative. Plus, it had fun accessories like motivational stickers and such. I got into the process of not just planning, but decorating the planner like it was a scrapbook. I also discovered during that time that there's this whole culture of planner nerds. (Yay, my people!) I was all in. Here's a pic of one of my weeks in the Happy Planner.

But one of the things about a planner is that it takes a while to figure out what style and type work best for you. I realized recently, when I was getting more intentional with goals and planning in 2016, that the weekly layout in my planner (one week on two pages) was just not working for me. I needed more space for a detailed to-do list, and I needed time slots to schedule things. Also, as much as I loved the creative aspect of the decorating, my brain didn't like the visual "clutter" and found it distracting. I'm a minimalist in a lot of ways. That's how I've decorated my house. That's what soothes me. Clean lines, lack of visual clutter, only pops of color on an otherwise gray/white palette. So I should've known that my planner needed to be that way, too. I think the Happy Planner is fantastic and is perfect for those wanting a weekly layout and a lot of color and scrapbooking aspects. (It's very similar to the Erin Condren planners if you're familiar with those.) But it wasn't right for me.

So I decided to go on the hunt for something different for the new year. After much more research than I probably should've spent time doing, I discovered exactly what I was looking for. A planner with clean lines, elegant design, and a page per day--the Day Designer by Whitney English.

This was THE ONE. Not only does it have a page per day, but a page that was split down the middle of the page--half into a schedule and half into a to-do list. On top of that, there is space for the top three priorities for the day, a space for Dinner, Don't Forget, Due, and Dollars. I don't need a Dollars space, but it's going to be the perfect spot for me to record my daily word count--something I'd wanted in my old planner.

It also has the year on two pages, which is perfect for me to mark off conferences. Simple but super helpful to be able to see the year overview.

I'm officially in planner love now. Isn't it pretty? And the only decorative elements I'm using are colored pens, a little washi tape on occasion, and different variations of these stickers, which are tiny, functional, and are meant for the Day Designer. The stickers haven't come in yet, but the planner is beautiful. *pets* And yes, it's more than I've ever spent on a planner, but it's something I'm going to use all year and is a key to my day, so I think it's worth it.

Btw, if you think you'd like to try out this kind of planner, the Day Designer website has free downloads where you can download the format of the day page and try it out (just click on printable at the top menu). I did that before buying to make sure it was going to function the way I needed it.

Also, if you're on the productivity bandwagon for the year, I came across this great article yesterday from Time--5 Secrets to Managing Your Time, Backed by Research. This is my goal for my schedule--scheduling in the "deep work", which for me is uninterrupted, internet-free writing time. I've felt way too distracted over the last few months. So afternoons are going to be reserved for that. We'll see how it goes!

So any other planner nerds out there? What planner do you have? Or do you prefer the electronic calendars?

Note: Day Designer link is an affiliate link (but I haven't been asked to feature it. My love for it is genuine, lol.) 

Friday Reads: Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin (& My 2016 Goals)

Wow, what a week. First, before I get into today's reading pick, I just want to say a big thank you to all of you who have bought, read, posted about, and/or reviewed OFF THE CLOCK this week. I appreciate all the book love so much! And I'm thrilled that so many of you are enjoying it! I'm really excited to continue the series, and hearing your thoughts on who you're hoping to see in future books and such really gets me jazzed up. And for those asking, the next book is going to be about...Lane! :) I start on his story next and I can't wait. And if you haven't gotten your copy yet? What are you waiting for? ;)

BUY THE BOOK:  Amazon  | Barnes and Noble |Books-A-Million |Indie Bound |The Book Depository 

BUY THE EBOOK: Nook | Kindle  | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play

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Friday Reads

Okay, so onto today's reading pick. I know that not everyone is a New Year, New Start kind of person. My husband definitely isn't. He thinks it's silly to start something because of a particular point in the calendar. "Just start when you want to start." BUT, I am a person that gets that big sigh of ahh... at the beginning of the year. It's a physical and mental sense of having a fresh start, of renewal, and of all this exciting possibility ahead.

And though this year I thankfully don't have to do the official start-a-diet thing because I've been on the wagon with that since fall and am sticking to it, I do have other goals for the year. The main ones being: Less stress. More intention. More joy.

This last year was a crazy busy one. I said yes to too much and ended up feeling burnt out by October. Writing became a slog, my story was fighting me, I was dreading getting to my desk. That is no bueno. I have my dream job. I don't want to work myself into a rut. I LOVE writing. I don't want to lose the joy of that.

So this year, my main action item is to be much more intentional and structured about my time. I'm going to use my fancy new planner (more on that in another post where I have room to fangirl about my planner. :) ) I am going to block off writing time and turn off the internet during that time. (I need a digital detox in general.) And I'm going to say no to things that will crunch my time too much. 

And all of those things require one thing--forming new habits, which is where today's Friday Reads pick comes in. See? I was getting to the point. Eventually. :)

I've been a fan of Gretchen Rubin's work since The Happiness Project. I like her anecdotal and chatty style and how she breaks down big concepts like happiness and, now, habits.

Better than Before is a quick read and will give you insight into how your personality plays into how you form habits. There are Four Tendencies (of personality) that explain a whole lot. You can read more about the four tendencies on her blog. But I've discovered that I'm an Upholder, meaning I respond readily to inner and outer expectations.

October 2016 Update: I have discovered I've fooled myself with the Upholder thing. Turns out, I'm a Rebel, lol. I figured it out after taking her quiz and listening to her podcasts. Rebels are those who resist inner and outer expectations. 

So though I love, love, love my planner, I have to be careful about writing things down on my To Do list too far ahead because then it feels like an obligation and I want to rebel. I'm doing better tackling my plan at the beginning of each day to determine what I "feel" like doing most and in what order I feel like doing it in. 

There's a lot more in the book about different aspects of your personality and how that fits into habits, so I highly recommend you check it you if you're trying to start some new habits this year. 

About the book:

The author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home, tackles the critical question: How do we change? 

Gretchen Rubin's answer: through habits. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life. It takes work to make a habit, but once that habit is set, we can harness the energy of habits to build happier, stronger, more productive lives.

So if habits are a key to change, then what we really need to know is: How do we change our habits?

Better than Before answers that question. It presents a practical, concrete framework to allow readers to understand their habits—and to change them for good. Infused with Rubin’s compelling voice, rigorous research, and easy humor, and packed with vivid stories of lives transformed, Better than Before explains the (sometimes counter-intuitive) core principles of habit formation. 

Along the way, Rubin uses herself as guinea pig, tests her theories on family and friends, and answers readers’ most pressing questions—oddly, questions that other writers and researchers tend to ignore: 

• Why do I find it tough to create a habit for something I love to do? 

• Sometimes I can change a habit overnight, and sometimes I can’t change a habit, no matter how hard I try. Why? 

• How quickly can I change a habit? 

• What can I do to make sure I stick to a new habit? 

• How can I help someone else change a habit? 

• Why can I keep habits that benefit others, but can’t make habits that are just for me? 

Whether readers want to get more sleep, stop checking their devices, maintain a healthy weight, or finish an important project, habits make change possible. Reading just a few chapters of Better Than Before will make readers eager to start work on their own habits—even before they’ve finished the book.

BONUS FRIDAY PICK:

In addition to Better Than Before, I've also gone through this workbook this week -- Your Best Year by Lisa Jacobs. This is more geared to those who are running a small business or blog or writers like me. But I found it helpful in setting up goals for the year and for looking back at 2015 and analyzing what worked and what didn't. The link is to the paperback, but you can also go directly to her site and pay for a download and print it out yourself to fill out, which is what I did.

 

Reminder:

If you haven't gotten your FREE reading journal (especially designed for romance readers) for the new year, be sure to sign up for my updates. The printable journal will come to your inbox after sign up. :) Click the banner at the top or click here to sign up.

So have you set any goals for 2016? Has anyone read either of these? 

OFF THE CLOCK is here! New Series!

It's release day! Woot! And it's a brand new series!!!

I can't tell y'all how excited I am to introduce you to The Grove and Dr. Donovan West and Dr. Marin Rush. I was a little scared to jump into a whole new world after writing in the Loving on the Edge "universe" for so many years (that series is continuing as well!). But once I started to create The Grove for the Pleasure Principle series, it was so much fun. It's a whole new world and cast to explore, which just does a writer's soul good. :) If you'd like to read the first chapter, you can find that here.

And here's a little bit more about the book:

Overtime has never felt so good…

Marin Rush loves studying sex. Doing it? That’s another story. In the research lab, Marin’s lack of practical knowledge didn’t matter, but now that she’s landed a job at The Grove, a high-end, experimental sex therapy institute, she can’t ignore the fact that the person most in need of sexual healing may be her. 

Dr. Donovan West, her new hotshot colleague, couldn’t agree more. Donovan knows that Marin’s clients are going to eat her alive unless she gets some hands-on experience. And if she fails at the job, he can say goodbye to a promotion, so he assigns her a list of R-rated tasks to prepare her for the wild clientele of The Grove’s X-wing.

But some of those tasks are built for two, and when he finds Marin searching for a candidate to help her check off her list, Donovan decides there’s only one man for the job—him. As long as they keep their erotic, off-the-clock activities strictly confidential and without strings, no one will get fired—or worse, get attached…

*Paperback edition has a bonus short story.

BUY THE BOOK:  Amazon  | Barnes and Noble |Books-A-Million |Indie Bound |The Book Depository 

BUY THE EBOOK: Nook | Kindle  | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play

And there's a blog tour going on with a chance to win an awesome library card style bag and a grab bag of books! Be sure to follow along. You can enter the contest today by checking out the interview I did on the Under the Covers Book Blog.

Hope y'all enjoy the book! :)

The Push Your Boundaries 2016 Reading Challenge

Happy New Year's Eve! Hope everyone is having a great holiday break!

I turned in a book at the beginning of December, so I've been taking a much needed writing break these last few weeks. But that doesn't meant I haven't been getting up to things. If you missed it earlier today, I put together a free reading journal specifically designed for romance readers (yay!). All you have to do is sign up for my newsletter to get the download. (And if you're already signed up, check your inbox and spam folder if you haven't gotten it.)

So after that, I got to work on this next thing--putting together my reading challenge for the year. Since 2008 or so I've been doing annual reading challenges. But in 2015 I was so busy with other things that I never got around to setting a specific goal beyond "Read 60 books", which I did meet.

But what I noticed when I was going through my list to choose my Best Books of 2015 was that I'd gotten kind of homogenous in my reading choices this past year. Not necessarily a terrible thing. I love what I love and read what I want. BUT there are also a ton of great books out there outside of my beloved subgenres that I know I'm missing out on. AND as a writer, it's important for me to put all kinds of fodder into the creativity pot. If I only read within a narrow scope, it's going to affect my writing. I need to read widely and out of my comfort zone.

So I pulled out a challenge I created in 2014 (The Push Your Boundaries) and revamped it. Because when looking back, I found that I read a much bigger variety in 2014 because of the challenge. This is a challenge specifically designed to encourage you to read widely and to step outside of your normal reading zone (though not to give up what you love--there's a column for your favorites too!)

So, I thought I'd share it with you guys in case any of y'all want to join in. The key to this challenge is that it is PERSONALIZED. Other challenges are pretty specific: Read 5 Classics or 10 Mysteries or whatever. This is a lot more flexible. You know which categories you need to venture out in.

Below you'll find my chart that I've filled out, but then I'm also including a download for a blank chart. This is a Word doc that you can download and either print to fill out by hand or use electronically. What I do is type in my categories on the computer, then I print it out and use that sheet to either X out boxes as I read books or I'll write the name of the book in the box under the genre. Do what works for you. 

In the doc, I've also included a list of possible categories to put in your columns. These are only suggestions. Feel free to add whatever you want or to make up your own categories.

If you decide you want to join in the challenge, leave a comment below! If you want to keep track of your reads online on a Pinterest board or something, feel free to leave a link to it. Here's my Pinterest board where I'll be keeping track.

Okay, ready to join in?

Here's my board.

Here are BLANK CHARTS FOR DOWNLOAD along with a list of category suggestions. Click links to download:

• Word doc (Note: If you have different fonts from me, this may format a little off in your Word. Adjust as needed. Or download the PDF.)
• PDF download

And if you just want to see the category suggestions. Here they are:

So who's with me? And if you're not doing this challenge, do you have any other reading challenges planned?